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I can't tell if it's my intuition or ocd at this point. I'm praying to God not to let these voices/fears manifest into reality. I'm so scared, I feel miserable

My name is Luciana, I'm 22 years old from Argentina. I'm currently battling with generalized anxiety disorder and a really intense period of panic attacks. It all comes from my uncertainty in regards to my relationship. I never knew such a thing as ROCD existed, but when I read about it I couldn't help but feel like it really matched ALL of my symptoms and worries. I haven't been diagnosed with OCD though. I'm currently taking 50mg Zoloft, 1mg Klonapin and I recently (2 days ago) finished taking my last Risperidone (anypsychotic needed for my self-harming thoughts and actions). I would like to get to know more about the whole ordeal, as I'm succumbing to the panic and feeling like I might have to leave the beautiful relationship I have (for the last 5 years) and ruin everything. I know my unconscious is being dominant right now, and the pressure in my heart is unbearable. Please, help.

i’m so paranoid about my MIL/FIL/SIL overstepping with my baby! I’m due in 2024 and I literally don’t even want my MIL to hold my child at all because she is so wicked. for several years while my husband and I were dating (started dating at 16 years in old) she constantly bullied, berated, insulted and talked shit about me to everyone. a 16 year being targeted by a 36 year old grown woman. Then even after getting married after 7 years of us dating she still belittles and patronizes me and is so incredibly negative! It’s gotten better since the beginning but she still lies, manipulates, and tries to control everyone around her. But now that i’m pregnant It sickens me the idea of her even looking at my daughter and it bothers me so bad that my child will have her DNA in her. I’m also prematurely annoyed that she’s going to make comments about my daughter if she has any features of her or her family, “Oh she has my fingernails” “she has my great aunts ears”, like stupid shit like that. Ugh. I have several messages prepped and ready to set mine and my husbands boundaries when our daughter is born but i’m also preparing for the backlash. I just keep preparing over and over again what I’m going to say, how i’m going to respond (or not respond), how to avoid, etc. I’m just so prematurely angry about all of the things she will likely do or say in regards to my child and our parenting. She thinks she knows best! She already tells me what I will and will not do with MY CHILD?? and gets so rude and defensive if I say my husband and I say we plan to do XYZ she immediately says “well that’s just not possible, but good luck with that.” she’s just so negative and mean. It’s so exhausting constantly being spoken down to. I am 26 years old, I am not a child. not even MY own mother speaks so down to me! and of all people to see me as a little girl it would be my own mom, not my husbands mom!! She doesn’t see either of us as adults who own a home, have full time careers, have been married for almost 3 years, and have a child of our own on the way and yet she still treats us like we’re incompetent. If we were reliant on them in anyway I can see how that’d taint her view, but my husband and I have never asked for or received any support from either of our families because we don’t want anything be held over our heads so we have always been 100% independent since we turned 18 and refused any assistance offered. It sucks worse bc we live in the same town and we can’t move for at least 1-2 years due to my husbands work! And my husband is very much firm in protecting me and shutting her down but he isn’t always in proximity when she says some of the shit but it’s not the kind of stuff you go back and address later, if that makes sense? My husband constantly reassures me that my fears won’t come true because he won’t let it but I still can’t stop obsessing over it!!!

is this existential ocd? so basically i’ve had rlly bad moral ocd for a couple of months, and before that i had horrible health and harm related physical compulsions so bad i couldn’t sleep bc i couldn’t sleep in a certain position or i thought smth bad would happen to me. and i always had bad intrusive thoughts but nothing that haunted me as much as this. So my morals are rlly important to me and i consider myself a good person. But one intrusive thought said “since life is meaningless morals don’t exist they are just a made up concept.” I had severe panic attacks because of this and i felt like a horrible person. I couldn’t sleep and worry was on me constantly. I did mental compulsions like repeating, rumination, and some physical compulsions too. I also am doing a lot of avoidance bc this triggers me sm. I’m kinda worried i’ll start believing this even though logically ik it’s nonsense bc ofc morality exists but omf am i worried. i’m trying to not do any compulsions but pls anyone with advice?

I have been with my partner for 4 years now and he is the most wonderful man on the planet. We started dating when we were both 16 and now we’re 20 and going to college together. When we first started dating in november of 2019, he had a crush on this one girl but he told me that the crush went away as soon as we started dating (he friend zoned her too). He has sworn this up and down for all four years. This christmas I asked to use his phone (mine was dead) to look back on our messages to see what we did that first christmas together. the only thing is that i misclicked and read a text from his mom on that day that said (this is paraphrasing) “it’s christmas now… have you decided what you are going to do? and are you still interested in the other girl you said you just wanted to be friends with?” to which he replied “i think i’ve decided that i’m going to break it off soon. yeah, i’m interested in her but i think i burned that bridge.” I read that and had a full-blown panic attack because of the betrayal and deceit I felt in that moment. He had been lying to me, again and again, for the past four years. About the girl, about the fact that he said he’s “never had second thoughts about our relationship” and that he knew i was “the one since we first met.” He was beside me when I read the text and couldn’t come up with an excuse good enough because he was shocked too. I have no idea what I am supposed to do. We’ve tried talking, but I begin to panic every time I try and my OCD won’t let me forget about it. The worst part is that the crush is not a false memory like i thought it was all these years… it’s real and that’s worse and I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.

i’ve been around for just a few days and, as it’s common to people in the OCD spectrum, I’ve seen a lot of reassurance seeking. and i thought about NOCD app’s administrators creating an emoji/reaction to the posts that represents “maybe, maybe not” as a way of this community to participate actively in each other’s acceptance skill. does it sound like a good idea? what do u think? (maybe, maybe not?)

I know it is Christmas but my anxiety is about NYE. Every year my friends want to celebrate it together and for the last years we have done so. However this year, I have not been much in contact with them and some friends organized a night, excluding other common friends of ours because they are not “party animal” and they want to be arty animals. Now on one side, I am not a party animal at all (even though I have been invited) and the idea of being forced into party animals celebration is horrible to me. However, my OCD is triggered by the fact that there are some girls that I do not know and my brain is already in OCD mode, telling me “You are going to be attracted by one of these girls,cheat on your bf and lose him forever”. Of course, this causes me tons of anxiety even though I know I am in love with my boyfriend and it is OCD talking. On the other side, my family is reunited to celebrate nye at my grandma house (she passed away in May) and they are all celebrating there and I feel like I will be happier there with them. However, I don’t know if I prefer that because I am compulsively avoiding the plan with my friends and feel safe or because I am truly happier with my family. I don’t want to do a compulsion, but at the moment I am so into the OCD cycle that I cannot distinguish anything anymore.

I feel not interested in my partner. I look back on good memories and they turn to cringe. I keep cringing and I don’t understand why. He’s so sweet and perfect for me just I just keep getting the ick. Please help

Hi! Sorry to bother you guys, but I’m really scared right now. So basically, my throat and glands started hurting yet seer ray before I went to work and I just work up in the middle of the night with a stuffy nose and my throat hurts a little more. I looked at my throat in my phone camera and it looks kinda swollen now and I’m really scared that it’s gonna close. But if it was going to close wouldn’t it have happened already? Please someone respond, I’m really scared of getting sick.

Hi guys, I’m new here not sure if I have ocd yet have not been diagnosed. I have a therapy appointment on January 8th so I’ll know for sure then. Anyways for the past few months I’ve been feeling like I have so ocd. I’ve liked men my whole life and have always been attracted to them but I’ve also never had a boyfriend or any experience in that area because I got my heartbroken in highschool and have stayed away from it ever since. I’ve been constantly googling and searching on tiktok to figure out who I’m attracted to and i still can’t figure it out. This one girl on tiktok who is a lesbian said she thought she had soocd until she talked to her therapist and turned out she was acc just a lesbian with ocd so that kinda freaked me out because what if my therapist tells me that? I also saw another tiktok of a girl that said attraction doesn’t always mean sexuality so what if im not attracted to men at all? I mean it’s fine if I am lesbian or bi but I just can’t see myself being with a woman in any way. But is that just internalized homophobia? I was diagnosed with anxiety a few years back and was put on novo sertaline, does anyone know if this helps ocd? I have a party for new years in a week and would rlly like to feel better by then and stop obsessing over this all day every day and making me feel distress. Not self diagnosing myself just wondering if sertaline has helped anyone else on here.

I can’t take it anymore. It’s so confusing and I hate it. I am a lesbian. Why can’t my ocd just leave me alone?

I am not a religious person and I never have been. Two years ago when I was in inpatient the nurses told me that maybe I should start believing in God for more support and that felt very gross and dismissive of my problems to me at the time. Currently I’ve been very worried about God. My partner tells me that I talk like I want to be religious which doesn’t make any sense to me and sometimes I worry that god is real and I’m living my life in the wrong way. A part of me thinks that if I started going to church and praying that my mental illness will be taken from me. People who use religion to cope with mental illness what is that like? Does it help? Am I being too shallow with my intentions? How do I know if god is real for me

Hi all! So I’m home from college now for winter break and I was just curious: does anyone else’s OCD spike when coming home for the holidays? Like having an uptick in intrusive thoughts related to family members, being home, just surrounding that theme? Would appreciate input! It makes me feel so isolated. ..

My psychiatrist said to stop smoking weed because not only is it a compulsion but getting high can make the thoughts worse. It definitely helps with anxiety but then i get into this weird state of not knowing what’s real and fake. Idk why

I was feeling pretty confident lately had no worries about my intrusive thoughts and body signals, but all of a sudden I had an urge/craving for groinal response which is weird for me but I acted on it, (just imagined it and scan my body) recognised that it doesn't necessarily comes from intrusive thoughts but about 50% they come from intrusive thoughts. I acted on it let it sit and wonder if I'm really enjoying this got concerned and it went downhill from there I'd say. Later another day I had a feeling that I would like (sexually) my intrusive thought so I imagined it and felt thrown off immediately didn't enjoy it at all and was disgusted for few days. (I know that I shouldn't check but it worked for me for the longest time) Also had some moments when I felt like I miss adrenaline or intense feelings in my life which I had with OCD and it again felt like I wanted the thoughts only to be disgusted, anxious and stressed. Weirdly when I had the same feelings about other themes, I could brush it way more calm (harm OCD, sexual orientation OCD) but with pOCD it just wrecks me. I needed to vent out past few days has been blocked out for me and I have trouble focusing for even a moment constantly thinking I'm psychopath. :( Can someone with a similar story could share their experiences? That would mean a lot, thanks

Can intrusive thoughts sounds like “I want too” and not just “what if “

I have been going through a really hard time lately in regard to my existential ocd. Not only that but my health anxiety has been horrible. What I wanted to bring up to see if a conversation could be had was my derealization. I have been having severe random bouts of derealization that are genuinely starting to feel debilitating. The best way I can describe it is I get sick to my stomach when I think about life, being alive, I convince myself im in a dream, that im stuck in a time loop and nothing around me is real and that ive been making up my entire life. With this also comes the intense feeling that everything has already happened before, its like deja vu but almost worse. I will be in moments lately and every single thing feels like it already happened, then that spirals into me believing nothing is real and im stuck in some kind of dream. Everything feels familiar, everything had already happened, sometimes stuff feels so familiar it genuinely will make me start to throw up because im so scared. Can someone please have a discussion with me and just let me know if theyve felt this way, what I should do, and if itll ever get better? Im genuinely convinced life will feel this way forever and im never going to be okay with being alive again and it genuinely makes me feel insane and so terrified. Thank you.

( I can’t tell if this is triggering or not so just in case I will be mentioning antidepressants) Recently Camhs have decided it was best for me to go off of sertraline and I was on maximum dose to switch to a different medication as sertraline was not helping. I recently however decided that I didn’t really want to live on medication for the rest of my life and didn’t want to have to deal w all the side effects again. Now I’m medication free (well I will 100% be in a few days I’m on my last dose before being completely taken off) but my anxiety is through the roof, my ocd has taken an awful turn, and my brain is so immensely foggy not to mention I’ve been suffering from derealisation. Has anyone been taken off of sertraline before? I really just wanna know how long will these symptoms last because it’s really very tiring I’ve been on sertraline for two years so it was expected but damn this is quite scary!!

I have hocd and i dont want to be attracted to my same sex (women) , I was reading here an article about a lesbian that beat her so ocd and she was scared of loving the opposite sex , then suddenly i got a thought with a fear” what if im straight” 😭 then in the afternoon i was watching a cooking tv show and there was a girl i feel attracted to ( because i feel false attractions to every girl i see ) then i said this time i shouldnt avoid, i should keep seeing her and feel the feeling and attraction and to do this as form of an erp then i keep seeing her then a thought occurred in my mind “what if you accepted being bi and you genuinely attracted to that girl in the tv show then you couldnt date her, you will suffer” and i feel as if i was afraid of being unable to date her 😭 i hate how ocd messes up with me 💔 my feelings feel very bery very real

I should start by saying, I have Pure- O OCD that for years was just centered on religious and harm themes. I went to a therapist who told me to remember that I am not my thoughts. So once I realized that, I felt much better. I told myself, these thoughts have no meaning. I moved on with life, if I had a thought that seemed illogical to me I'd just say, it's not worth worrying about. Or if I felt a great amount of stress I'd just try to think of the things that are important to me and make me happy i.e. nostalgic memories, my family etc. And almost always, this helped me a great deal. To thr point where the past 2 years these have been my coping mechanisms and I've made it to the Dean's list at college, I've been almost always happy and relatively low stress. But since I tried to focus on what made me happy when I had an intrusive thought, is that not technically a compulsion? And what about the reassurance things. For example if I thought absurdly negative thoughts I'd tell myself "I have my family who loves me and I know they would help me get by" and then the thoughts wouldn't really bother me. If they came back I'd just say to myself "Oh, that's illogical to worry about" and move on. But I've read that when you have OCD, ANY attempt to relieve anxiety is a compulsion and compulsions are negative reinforcement. So now my mind will tell me whenever I watch a youtuber I always liked that I can't feel happy because that's a compulsion etc. Whenever I feel comforted or at peace it tells me that that's a compulsion. Before, I would say "What that's absurd" and then not care about the thought anymore. But yeah, if I do these so called mental compulsions then my life is great truly, as I explained before, for years it was great. But once I stop then it's been literal misery and constant anxiety because my ocd will barely let me feel positive emotions then. And it's getting harder to go back to before since now I have doubts about it since I read that article. The only time when I can ignore that stuff basically completely and do my so called compulsions is at night, I know how important sleep is so I just listen to my favorite youtuber, don't care about the other thoughts and get sleepy and almost always sleep a good 7-8 hours. I'm just wondering if what I've been doing for years is bad, or if there's some good to it? What advice would you guys give/what should I change? Thank you and have a great day!