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Yesterday I had the thought “Do I like having the thoughts just so I can fight them off?” And then I found myself almost WANTING an attack just so my ocd could be proven real to me

I have this memory of playing with my childhood friend like lifting him up in the air putting him back down just playing. And my brain is taking that memory and saying I had sex with him or I humped him or something like that. It makes me sick to my stomach to think I had sex or raped a little boy. I’m scared. Please give me some advice

I thought I was doing better with not having rocd intrusive thoughts for a while but then they started up again. I always blame the thoughts on pms, but whenever it happens any other time, I think they’re real. I feel like I’m always critiquing my bf in my mind, and think small things are genuinely big problems. It’s like I can’t accept that he has flaws, just like me. Also yesterday I hung out with this new friend I made, and afterwards I kept getting thoughts like “you like her, you think she’s hot”, etc (she’s a lesbian and I am straight), and then a trailer for a new movie w/ kristen Stewart keeps popping up on my feed and I think that I’m gay. There would be nothing wrong with that ofc but I’ve been straight my whole life, but I’ll get thoughts saying “you’re gay and you’re not attracted to your bf anymore”, etc. I generally get intrusive thoughts that I’m not attracted to my bf but it’s never bc I’d be attracted to the same sex. Also, I think this is normal with intrusive thoughts but whenever I get these types of thoughts about my relationship/my bf, it’s like I don’t recognize him, or even fully realize that I have a bf, and it scares me so much. I’ll be with him and I’ll suddenly get the realization that I’ve been in a relationship with him for a year, or I’ll look at him and I’ll start getting nervous that I don’t find him attractive anymore. Recently it’s been the not recognizing him and thinking about “alone time” with him and not feeling turned on or thinking that he doesn’t pleasure me the same way anymore, which isn’t true. I just feel guilty everytime these thoughts pop up.

As the title suggests, my OCD acts up whenever bodily fluids are involved, including my own. 😅 It has caused me difficulties in my relationship. My partner is perfectly content with the pace we are at regarding intimacy and is incredibly patient with me; however, I can react at even the slightest idea of getting “contaminated” with, say, my partner’s fluids. ☹️ Early in our relationship, even when we were hugging fully clothed, I worried about contamination (and also magically “getting pregnant”☠️) because our bodies were touching at the crotch area. I’m doing better now, but I’ve been unable to engage in certain acts because of it. My partner is not asking for anything—in fact, he is perfectly content waiting until marriage! I’m more so asking for my sake. I just know that when the time DOES arrive that we both want to get more intimate—even if that means just removing more clothing,—I know I will be terrified of getting contaminated. Today, for example, while kissing, I accidentally bit his lip and tasted blood. INSTANTLY the mood was destroyed and I couldn’t function properly. I felt so much guilt for being this disturbed because it’s my PARTNER, of all people, but I began worrying about STDs. Does anyone have any tips? My OCD mainly fixates on pregnancy and STDs here.

I thought I done it to a female when I was intoxicated but now everytime I nap I try and remember what happened etc. but when I have a nap or a sleep I have images of it happening etc and don’t know if they’re true because I was so drunk, like I had nap and I had images/memory of me with my trousers down etc. what do I do

Does anyone have any book recommendations for ocd? Is there any helpful specific ocd books out there or just any that help with ocd or helped you? Please share 💕 Someone on here has told me a book that helped so it gave me the idea to post this to get people to share more recommendations I love reading different types of books as it is like fiction as it helps me escape my thoughts sometimes and I’ve read self help books that have helped in the past so any ideas I would be grateful for 💕

Does anyone else get an insane surge to pee before bed even though you just peed? I got out the showered and peed and have been in bed maybe 20-30 mins and can’t seem to fall asleep because my brain keeps telling me I have to pee. But other parts of my brain say no because of my bathroom contamination fear.

Hello, I have recently been dealing with lots of handwashing and having trouble using the bathroom or showering due to feeling dirty or contaminated after touching things. It’s made me quit my job, isolate, not eat, and not wanting to use the bathroom. Has anyone gone through this? If so has anything helped? Hope everyone is doing well <3

Hey , I feel like I’m alone with getting intrusive and unwanted thoughts during sex / mast3rbation and when I’m finishing and it makes me feel disgusted and that I’m a disgusting person and that I agree with the thoughts I get and I get really upset after and guilty and regret doing it Please can someone tell me if they experience things like this and if it’s not just me It’s something I’ve been really struggling with but I try not to let it get in the way of me having a sex life I have posted a previous post but no one has said anything

I just see my boyfriend's flaws and I feel we have to break up because we are not compatible and I dont think it s rocd

Hey , I feel like I’m alone with getting intrusive and unwanted thoughts during sex / mast3rbation and when I’m finishing and it makes me feel disgusted and that I’m a disgusting person and that I agree with the thoughts I get and I get really upset after and guilty and regret doing it Please can someone tell me if they experience things like this and if it’s not just me It’s something I’ve been really struggling with but I try not to let it get in the way of me having a sex life

I’ve been with my bf for almost 10 months and I love him very much. But every couple weeks I go down the same rabbit hole of extreme paranoia. I convince myself that he’s not who he says he is, he doesn’t actually have a job/degree, he doesn’t actually like me, etc etc. I’ve mostly kept these thoughts to myself but recently I just broke and I did a full background check of his record and degree. I kept telling myself that if I just had paper proof, I’d have no more reason to doubt. Well, everything came back normal. I told him a few days later because I felt terrible. He was a little surprised but I don’t think he’s really able to comprehend the *why* without understanding OCD. The next day he surprised me with (sold out!) concert tickets to an artist I love. Except now I’m back where I started and I don’t believe him. I have no reason not to but I can’t shake the paranoia. Does anyone else experience relationship OCD like this? How do you talk to your partner about it without making it sound horrible?

Not quite sure where to begin, but I’m just going to vent and write whatever comes to mind. As I write this, Im feeling a lot of distress. My heart is beating a bit faster. I’m feeling that chill of anxiety welling in my chest and running up my throat and scalp. There’s a slight, imperceptible tremble in my hands and arms. I haven’t felt this in a very long time. I’m on quite a few medications that block this rush of adrenaline that has threatened to consume me. I’m always hesitant - or rather - scared to write out my thoughts and feelings. There’s this part of me, the frail part of me, that is terrified these thoughts and feelings will materialize — as if they haven’t already. There are a lot of heavy emotions weighing on me tonight. For the last few days or so, actually. I notice, as I merely acknowledge these emotions, that the pit becomes larger in my stomach. I’m shaking more. I feel weak. It’s nights like these I wonder why the world is so cruel. Why therapy, psychiatry, stability, and help can’t be easily accessible for people like me. As I lie in bed writing this, I have so many thoughts and ideas circulating. They shift from one to another so rapidly I have a hard time keeping track and I become overwhelmed. I feel suffocated and trapped by my mind. For some, it’s freeing. For me, it is a prison. Why can I not see through your eyes? Why can you not see through my eyes? Why can you not empathize? Why can I not speak so eloquently in person? Why do I have to be so misunderstood. This idea is depressing for some people. Saddening. For me, it is horrifying. Why can I not see myself? Why can I not see me the way you do? Why can I not see the colors, shapes, and numbers you do? I spiral into this unforgiving world of existential dread. People, places, things, they all look so strange. I’m viewing the trees and the grass through a wall of glass. I’m feeling the wind, but I’m so numb. I can hear birds, but there’s cotton in my ears. I’m standing here, but I’m not. Family, friends, home, they look so unfamiliar. I question whether I’ve known these things my whole life or not. I question where the sky is, where God is. If my only purpose is to live to die, then what is God’s purpose? And if it is greater than my comprehension, why can I not comprehend it? Why am I forced to be conscious, when self-awareness is killing me? Life is beautiful, and maybe heaven exists. But why hope for heaven when you can live the one life you are guaranteed? I try to remind myself. My life is good. My life is good. My life is good. I can eat, I can walk, I can breathe, I can sleep. I can dance, I can sing, I can write. So why am I so stuck? I’m so stuck. I can’t move. I want to curl up. The little girl inside of me is begging for help, to be held. But to held is to be touched, and to be touched is so, so scary. Because how can I be sure you understand? How can I be sure your touches are real? How can I be sure you’re real? Is the world in my head? Is this my life flashing before my eyes? Am I already dead? But life is good, God its so good! Because lavender, and baths, and cake, and cats. Please tell me it’s good. Please tell me I matter. Tell me I’m here for a reason. But why do I need a reason to live? To eat chocolate cake? Empty calories. Pasta and tacos and sauce and steak. Life is so good. My life is so, so good. I’m so privileged to have these pretty problems. And while I am thriving, dying, and trying to stay calm, there are other people more focused and consumed with surviving. I feel guilty. How could I? How dare I neglect these people whom I do not know— How dare I neglect the needy that are out of my reach? That are out of my capability? And now, for a moment I wonder… Why? Why am I so hellbent on finding an answer to all these inconclusive questions… when I could just not? Oh, the weight that would be off my shoulders If I could just not. I’m tired. I’m scared. I’m depressed. I ruin everything I love with my technicalities and fuel my dreadful fear of unimportance. I only want a purpose.

Can anyone else with ROCD tell me their experience with it and their partner? How you’ve navigated it and how it’s affected you? I just need ti know I’m not alone with my thoughts that throw themselves into me when I’m with my girlfriend. Thoughts of hating her, of hitting her, breaking up with her, being angry for no reason, and more recently a forced numbness that scares me. I think the numb could be separate and could be stress and burnout from taking care of her the past few weeks emotionally without breaks pretty much and I’ve been drained and I’m scared my love for her won’t come back but I’m sure that’s not true. I’m sure it will. I hope it will but before when I had these thoughts they scared me a lot more now in more numb to them. I get scared that if I’m not obsessing over her then I don’t love her, or if I don’t want to be with her 24/7 then I shouldn’t be with her at all. Could anyone share their experiences?

does anyone feel like ever since they started with intrusive thoughts / compulsions that you feel as if your brain has turned to mush and your intellect has vanished. it’s really hard for me to string sentences together & i feel as if everyone who speaks about ocd has this way of putting it that i never will be able to. i’m still untreated & in the dark to be honest. when it comes about speaking about what ive been through as well i can’t remember everything only the really bad episodes, it’s like my brain is hiding it away from me waiting for a day for me to remember and traumatise me all over again. i’m also petrified of saying the wrong things to people and potentially worsening their ocd or seeming to be uneducated about it and like i have no idea what i’m talking about. i’m still learning but i’m frustrated that i feel as if i still don’t know anything. does that make sense?

What do you usually press when you’re selecting how much time to warm up your food in the microwave? Increments of 30 mins like 1:00, 1:30, 2:00 etc? Just realized I do Just Right compulsions with the numbers… thinking about pressing 2:00 is making me uncomfortable

i’m struggling to find professional help in the uk for my mental health - i’ve been told i have ocd by my mental health nurse who also is in touch with doctors who also claim i have ocd but no one has sat down and diagnosed me. i’m trying to get a diagnosis & therapy because these past few years of intrusive thoughts & compulsions have completely traumatised me and ruined me as a person. i know this app is mainly for the US but ive seen a few uk posts. does anyone have any guidance or experiences in the uk that may help me?

hi does anyone know any NATURAL supplements that can help ocd please? Because whenever I go to a doctor they just throw out antidepressants like sertraline and expect me to just take them I don’t like putting things like that in my body so was wondering if anyone knows any natural ways to help ocd? can be any recommendations I’ve heard things like ashwaganda can help or magnesium capsules or vitamin B12 But that’s from research has anyone tried or got any other suggestions

I read yesterday on Google that ‘someone that is good for you might not be for you’ and ‘just because someone is good for you doesn’t mean you will be attracted to them’ and I’ve started to spiral after a good recovery time, obviously due to my thoughts I find it difficult to feel attracted to my bf at all times but now my brains convincing me I don’t have to be with him just because he is good for me

Hi everyone! This is my first post!! I'm currently 24 years old and I only just officially got my drivers license last year. I always tried to explain to friends/family why driving gave me so much anxiety and panic, but I couldn't ever find the right words to help people understand it. Since I've gotten my OCD diagnosis, I realized my only other friend who can't drive at the age of 26 also has OCD. Is this something any of y'all have experienced, too? For clarification, I was never in a scary car accident or experienced any kind of car related trauma growing up. People seem to assume it must be trauma related, which is why it's always been so hard to explain.