Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I would like to get to know you all better so feel free to tell me anything! How did you find out you had OCD? What made you all join this app? 😊

i feel weird for talking/ dating people 2 years younger. ive been with people my age, and older, i do prefer older. but i have been with people younger. im scared this makes me a p. when i was 16 i did it, and earlier this year being 18. 2 years is my limit though, for going younger. a lot of people said it’s ok and it’s not a big deal but i have heard some people be like erm..: Im just scared i need to be in jail or im a weirdo :(

Me and my bf r completely the opposite he’s always going out with friends and busy with work doing stuff and im always at home doing nothing and sometimes since he’s so busy he cant answer the phone I get so many random scenarios of him just cheating on me and just doing awful things that I know he wouldn’t do and has reassured me about and I believe it but I keep getting these thoughts when he doesn’t reply and it makes me so anxious and I don’t wanna sound crazy by bringing it up because I do trust him when it comes down to it it’s just intrusive thoughts that keep telling me he’s doing these things

I've been wondering this for months: Is it possible to have ROCD if you've never been in a relationship and hardly/don't experience romantic/sexual attraction? Personally, I love daydreaming and writing about romance and love and even sex. However, if I so much as *think* someone might be interested in me, I internally freak out and get very nervous/scared of what might happen. Even if someone holds my hand, puts their arm around me, and god forbid- *asks me out*- I immediately have the intense need to get away as soon as possible, and to break down and cry out of fear. I'll start shaking and intensely worrying about said person showing interest in me. I just get so scared of embarrassment and upsetting people that I need to get away immediately. How can I keep going with it if I never seem to feel any amorous attraction to people? This doesn't stem from any history of abuse; I'm not sure where this comes from. I never had crushes growing up, I still don't feel attracted to anyone, I don't date (nor have I ever dated), never had a desire for a relationship at any point in my life until very recently, and never felt the need to seek one out either. I'm a very lonely person and wish I could have a relationship, but I'm so terrified of the concept of it in reality. That's why for the past 7 years, I've identified as aroace, but for about 2 years I've been constantly questioning if I *actually* am. I developed a crush on an unattainable guy, and didn't want him to know I was aroace, because what if someday, by some miracle, he actually liked me back?? I didn't want him to think the door was shut and locked. (He does know I'm aroace and has been supportive of it) But what if in the future it turns away other extremely rare people I feel interested in? It feels like a lot of social anxiety, and a lot of fear of upsetting people. What do I do if I suddenly don't want to talk to someone anymore? What do I do if people tease me about having a partner? What do I do if I don't want a second date? What do I do if they try to kiss me? What if I'm being too nice? What if they know I'm faking? How do I know if I'm attracted to them? What does that feel like? How do I say I'm not interested without looking like the bad guy? How do you even date someone? How does that work? It's going to be so embarrassing if my parents find out— I'll never hear the end of it! All these fears form in my head the SECOND I think someone is interested in me. So after realizing I have OCD, I wondered several months later if this fear and avoidance surrounding relationships/attraction might be tied into it somehow. I think a lot of times about how I might just be broken, and how I'm just incapable of feeling romantic love for other people. I wish I wasn't like this, and I wish I could just experience those things like someone normal for my age. I always said that never having been in a relationship is a good thing, because I don't have any mistakes to regret, but the older I get, the more I go back on that word. I just keep getting lonelier, but never feel any interest in anyone. At this point, I don't think I'll ever have someone love me, because I can't seem to NOT be very upset by people showing interest in me. Am I just incapable of actually liking anyone?

My rocd is more partner focused, my partner has made a handful of mistakes that have hurt me/made me lose some trust (not cheating though) My ocd picks up on lots of new things to worry about, but when there isn’t something new to worry about it allllways goes back to this handful of things my partner has done and I ruminate despite having a lot of answers. Maybe it is because of the uncertainty that I don’t know every little detail? A lot of the reason I think my ocd comes back to latch onto this handful of things is OTHER PEOPLES opinions. Like I’ll see in a comment section “this is a red flag” “leave if they do this” “you cannot trust them ever if they lie” etc. and my ocd likes to bully me with these sort of comments and play them in my head so I panic/ruminate. Is constantly going back and fourth with this handful of things my partner has done a sign of my ocd attacking me because of the uncertainty? And is it blowing it out of proportion? I try and tell myself that no relationship would exist if there wasn’t making mistakes/ doing things wrong & forgiveness. If everyone left from a handful of mistakes big or small there would be no long term relationships is that true?

Hi all. I really need some rational advice here. About a year and a half ago, I went out to karaoke with a group of friends. At one point, I passed one of my male friends in the hallway on the way to the bathroom. I was getting out of the bathroom as he was waiting to go in. I remember I felt anxious and guilty that night as I walked back to the karaoke room. I had intrusive thoughts even at the time that I had made out with him. I remember feeling anxious and ruminating on the scenario. I probably even imagined it happening at the time. I remember it lingered a bit and then I started feeling anxious about something entirely different and then I never thought about it again (despite the fact that I had cheating OCD pop up many times since then). For the past 3 weeks this thought has not left my brain and I am dealing with constant anxiety all day every day. I am fairly certain that this did not happen, but the image of it happening is so strongly burned into my brain that it feels like a real memory. I am about to go on a trip with my partner and I really don’t want the constant anxiety to ruin it. I know seeking reassurance is bad, but I also know for a fact that I would feel 100% reassured and that I wouldn’t bring it up again if I just texted the guy and got confirmation from him that nothing happened. I know my own brain and I know that this would squash all the anxiety. I know it would look weird and creepy, but do you guys think it might be worth it to just give a quick description of my OCD and just ask for a bit of reassurance that nothing happened that night?

Ok so I'm 21 and turn 22 in August. Btw this might be a lil bit of a read but it'll be nice tho. So I have diagnosed Anxiety, CPTSD, and Bipolar 1 disorder. About a month and like 2 weeks ago I started having some really taboo intrusive thoughts. I've always been highly aware of myself and so searched up "Sexual intrusive thoughts" on Google. No wait before that I searched if intrusive thoughts were a symptom of Bipolar disorder. I came across a lot of articles about Bipolar OCD comorbidity. Basically a lot of people with bipolar are more likely to have OCD. I was like "wait what?? OCD?!? On whooooo??" Mind you I was thinking of the stereotypical OCD you see in movies. I was just thinking I don't have that so how? So in one of these articles it talked about the types of intrusive thoughts people with Bipolar OCD comorbidity can have and one of them were sexual and religious intrusive thoughts. I was blown away. I then searched "Sexual intrusive thoughts" on Google and realized holy shit I have OCD..oofie. I then went down the worm hole of obsessively searching all things OCD (which lol I found out was a compulsion searching and all) and realized I've had OCD for a while. Since I was a small tot for real for real. I've always had Pure OCD, but realized I have contamination OCD when it comes to being in and out of the shower, I used to but not anymore would always check if the stove switches were off. I've always thought about harm coming to my family and myself and would think up entire scenarios in my head for literally no reason. I obsessively think to the point where it physically tires me out. I get severe anxiety and literally will lose my asshole from just thinking to much. I've seen a lot of people comparing it to being trapped in your own head and it exactly how I feel. The things I hear, and see tend to trigger intrusive thoughts for me but especially the things I hear. I always thought noise cancelation headphones were for those with Autism but I find myself wishing I had a pair these days. I usually use music to drown out my thoughts and take me away from the world but once I stop listening all the thinking and thoughts come flooding back and I'm once again trapped in my own head. So yea idk. That's my sitch of a wation. If you relate or have feedback drop a comment. Also like share and sub to my YouTube channel. Hahaha nah jk I don't have a YouTube channel 😂 TL/Dr have a bunch of other mental stuff just realized I may have had OCD for the longest.

Anyone else with SOOCD struggle with seeing an attractive person of the same sex? When I notice they are attractive I started getting shaky and nervous, and I’m scared that what if that means I’m attracted to them because they are an attractive person. Any tips?

I became concious of my OCD when experimenting with hallucenagenic drugs back in 2020 during covid and the lockdown (yeah, horrible idea). My anxiety spiked for what seemed like the entire year and I developed a panic disorder. I didn't know it was OCD at the time. I went to a psychiatrist and got diagnosed only with panic disorder. Eventually, I saw a therapist and was diagnosed with OCD, but I couldn't afford to continue seeing him. I also wasn't sure yet that it was true that I had it, or perhaps wasn't willing to accept it yet. My method of managing it for the past few years became to keep myself busy and not think about it. This year, I realized I was running from the fear when it brought me to my knees and made me feel the way I did in 2020. Now I'm here and ready to tackle this once and for all.

is there anyone who can talk I really just need someone who can maybe leave some insight about the specific issue im having I'm so scared and everything is too vague and it's important

A different type of title, I know. ☕ ☀️ Little bit of a read, but hopefully adds some positivity out there by the end. Here's the thing, I used to get up EVERY morning with excitement and experiment with different types of coffee or flavors. It was a joy to just make it. I would never mind if I made a bad brew, just learned from it. It was an activity that made me happy, arguably a routine that made me whole. Since being diagnosed with OCD (rOCD sub category) 3-4 weeks ago that morning activity fell apart. It suddenly became hard to get up, followed by a longing to "go back" or like a "last saved point". Long story short, tragically the French press that made me feel like "me" lost its glitter and glam. All the stresses of rOCD and happiness ROBBED me of experiencing this small and simple joy in my life that isn't even the focus of my ERP. Over the last few weeks I have been feeling better after taking my first few sessions. Healed, cured, completely treated? No. Absolutely not. On the journey to recovery? Yes. Absolutely so! So what does this French press have to do with anything? Well, I'm making a point to try and reconnect my happiness by making it today, even if it doesn't always feel comfortable or "the same." Why? Because I'm making a stand. I'm refusing to let OCD try and live IT'S life when I want to live MY life instead! I don't want it to win, nor do I want it to take any further steps in telling me not to experience happiness. Especially ones I used to enjoy! I'm GOING to make that French press coffee as soon as this is posted and BELIEVE I can have a good day. I don't care if I fall down, relapse, get stressed, have anxiety, get into an argument, panic, have intrusive thoughts etc. etc. etc later today OR if I already did have those things happen! All that matters is at this moment I go do what I WANT to do, not what OCD tells me to do. I'm going to make the French press coffee because that's what I LOVED doing. WHAT'S THE POINT?: If there is something that you used to appreciate doing no matter how small or big and it brought a sense of identity or peace - you don't have to let OCD tell you that you can't do it. Even if it may not feel the same anymore, I know deep down I like making French press coffee. I'm tired of having OCD anxieties ruin that morning routine. Maybe there's something out there you did for peace or fun before OCD took hold of you? Just know you're not alone. I'm not a doctor or anything, just a man trying to get back his life and wants to fight for it. Don't be afraid to try and reconnect some of that positive "former self" that brought peace to you. If this resonated with you, I hope you find your strength to do that small but meaningful thing that makes you happy. You can do it. We can do it. Thank you. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to go make that French press coffee. ☕🙂

I don't know why I'm being so much concerned about my mom's sexuality from few days. I always have this thought that she's not straight and she might be not aware about it. There's one thing which she does that makes me think she might be not straight, She appreciate the beauty of women a lot. Like once she was telling me that she saw a very beautiful girl in a bus, that girl was so beautiful that my mom couldn't look away from her and it's not just about one incident but there are plenty of incidents like this. Whenever she sees a beautiful woman in any show, TV, movie etc, she keeps staring at her and saying "my god look how beautiful she is" and she rarely talk about the men's good looks but most of the time, she just talk about women's beauty and keep staring at those women and I find it a little weird. She was asking me in the morning about the name of an actress whom she had seen in a movie. When I asked him "why you're asking about her", she said that " I was thinking about her, she looked so beautiful so I should have know her name" and I felt so weird like I also appreciate women's beauty and find women attractive but the way my mom talk about it most of the times make me think that she might be not straight. You might be wondering that why do I care about my mom's sexuality but I've to do that as I don't want her to be bi or lesbian because I can't bear this. I'll never be as comfortable with her like before. Also, I've read that "the daughter of a bi or lesbian mother can't be straight" so I can't bear this. I don't know if it's real or my brain is misinterpretating things due to Hocd but I still sometimes find her fishy and I keep ruminating about it all the time 😔

Hi it’s been a while since I’ve been on here but to those who has real event, have any of you confronted the person about it since they were like involved?

**TRIGGER: SEXUAL THEMES** Does anyone have any advice or can relate? I’ve suspected that I have ocd for quite some time now, and it’s usually rocd but lately I’ve been getting thoughts that I might be bisexual or even a lesbian, I’ve never gotten these thoughts before and idk if it’s ocd or if I actually feel this way. I’ve always been straight and at one point in high school, I thought that I might be bi but I would never date a woman, it would only be in a sexual sense. (Idk if that even counts as being bisexual honestly). This still stands but I’m having a hard time accepting the sexual part, even tho I don’t think I’m bi. I think this has come up because lately I’ve been loving Chappell Roan’s music, and cuz most of her songs are about women, I think I’m getting intrusive thoughts cuz of that. Also I watched her “my kink is karma” music video and I just really loved the style and a transition in it, and she looked really good like I’m not gonna lie, but idk if it’s me having a “girl crush” as a straight woman or if I’m part gay. The thing is, I don’t think this whole thing would even be a problem if I was single, but I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year and a few months now, and I love him to death, and I’m obviously attracted to him (even tho my rocd says otherwise), but I can’t help but feel guilty if I’m bisexual. It’s not even a big deal and I don’t have to make it a big deal, but I get thoughts that if I did like women, I’d have to break up with my boyfriend in order to figure it out, but that’s not what I want (even tho it’s so hard to decipher what I want or not with ocd). Usually when I get these thoughts I can shrug it off and it goes away for a while, but now I’m getting this picture/video in my mind of me giving head but on a vag. I think this started up because ig I wanted my bf to do a certain thing while going down on me and I imagined myself doing it and it got like really vivid and now I get groin responses from it. It’s just really scary right now and I really don’t want it to be true.

My gf and I broke up (I initiated), and decided to go no contact for a little bit until my ROCD is settled down and u tik I make a decision as to whether or not we should get back together. But I’m not sure if I broke up with her because if genuine issues in our relationship or if my rocd was getting to be too much so I figured breaking up with her was the easiest route to stop the rocd thoughts. How do I know if my thoughts about my gf and I breaking up are real versus rocd thoughts? I feel good right now (being broken up) but I’m thinking that’s because it is my rocd thoughts have gone away bc I’m not in a relationship anymore. I would always question if we were meant to be together and would get worried when I recognized that I found someone else attractive. Please help, I don’t know what to do.

hi all. I was diagnosed with ocd a few years ago. back then, I primarily struggled with HOCD and Health Anxiety fueled by obsession. I still struggle with both here and there, but I mostly was able to cope with them and don’t struggle as much anymore. I am newly in a relationship, and it is getting kinda serious. This is my first serious relationship after my short lived marriage (don’t get married at 18 for the love of god) and my marriage ended due to my spouse cheating on me, like a lot. we are about 3 months in, and for the first 3 months I did a really good job of regulating my emotions and trusting him. but I’ve hit a wall. I find myself daily obsessing over all the ways he could possibly be talking to other girls/cheating. I constantly check his snap score and when he was last active on Facebook (compulsions, yippee 🙄) even though I have never ever found even the slightest proof or information to make me believe he is doing something sneaky. It is getting to the point where I am having nightmares every night about the moment he confesses he’s been cheating, and I feel the initial shock and absolute heartbreak. This scene repeats for hours until I wake up, feeling empty and sad. I don’t want things to be this way. For myself, or him. He is a great guy and I really do see a future with him. But I have never ever dealt with this subtype before and could use some guidance on dealing with these intrusive thoughts in a productive way.

a few months ago, i discovered all the porn my partner had liked on twitter. it was around like 900+ posts. thankfully, he stopped watching as soon as i told him how much it hurt me, but i still couldn’t shake off the feeling. it hurt me so much because i ended up comparing myself to all these women, who looked nothing like me. it really brought my self-confidence down. especially whenever we were out in public, i couldn’t help but think that he was thinking lustful thoughts about every women we’d encounter. eventually, we navigated through our feelings, & i worked on gaining back my self-confidence & feeling worthy again. however, certain things still trigger me to feel that same “hurt” again. i no longer compare myself to others, but i still get triggered & feel like my partner still has eyes on other women. it’s draining. whenever he mentions other girls, i feel so enraged. & i get mad at him, but i end up feeling so bad because i know he didn’t have true bad intentions. this makes me feel so sad because before i discovered all the porn, i never ever felt this way. i want to get better for myself, & for my partner.

Im having such a hard time trying to figure out if l'm bi or lesbian while IN a relationship with my boyfriend l'm so confused someone please give me some perspective I'm desperate to just feel okay in my relationship again without feeling guilty or confused about if I'm truly attracted to my partner or men in general. l'm questioning everything.

TLDR: I’m about to start a competitive medical school program, and need advice for how to navigate panic attacks during ERP, since starting this fall I literally won’t have time to deal with panic attacks during classes and clinicals. I’m going through a bad flare up with OCD, and I also deal with a panic disorder on top of that, and my OCD lovessss my panic disorder lol. Short background; This is my third time dealing with it heavily. My first time I was in middle school. My second time was a bit over a year ago, my first semester in college. It took over my life, and my grades were bad during that time because of it. I learned how to properly use ERP, and actually recovered very well. Unfortunately, at the beginning of spring semester in college this year, I started dealing with intrusive thoughts and OCD again, and had gotten so comfortable not having to use ERP, I let the anxiety take over and developed another OCD spiral. It wasn’t “that bad” at first, but because I neglected ERP and kept doing compulsions, it’s gotten pretty rough. Yesterday I had my first panic attack in a long time, as I was doing ERP and having 10/10 anxiety. Im trying to approach this realistically; since I’ve been doing compulsions for a good while, recovery will also take a while, and if there’s one thing I know, is that it’ll get worse before it gets better. Classes start in a little over a month for me, and I will NOT let OCD take over my life and ruin my grades like it has before. Does anyone have advice for navigating a busy lifestyle while also prioritizing ERP? And any advice for as peacefully as possible going through panic attacks during ERP?

i need help with this im going to start sobbing and I really need someone to talk to out loud that also has ocd , these thoughts im dealing with right now are having me panicking too much ,please I really need someone to talk to even through text