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My therapist was NOT kidding, these backdoor spikes are CRAZYY!!! I noticed a vein was more prominent on one side of my chest than the other and man it’s sent me spiraling! Trying my hardest to resist compulsions and carry on with my day!

Does anyone else get bad intrusive urges along with their intrusive thoughts?? I feel so alone!

I can’t do anything I am so stuck some days I can’t even leave my bed till 4 pm I can’t focus on school and I want to but I can’t I haven’t been able to since I was a kid I just started getting medications for adhd and I still feel so stuck and my ocd is getting bad again and i genuinely don’t know how to go on living like this i genuinely cannot do anything I want to so bad but I can’t I’m 19 and I don’t have my lisence im failing community college and I’m genuinely such a loser and it’s all my fault i genuinely can’t do anything and I don’t know how to get better I’ve trued medication I’ve tried therapy I’ve tried exposure therapy I don’t know what to do anymore

I have been in a relationship for about 10 months now, I do not feel like I love him. I dont believe he loves me. Its long distance. We have had many arguments and not much honeymoon cuteness recently. I dont feel stable or seen or heard. I need signs if there are any to tell if I should leave the relationship to work on myself and ocd or stay because he knows about it and isnt shaming me for it. I cant tell if I feel genuinely distressed and only have enough feelings for a friendship and want to break up and if im only staying because I fear starting over or the next one breaking my heart idk. I cant tell if all this fear is just ocd trying to kill off a good thing or if im just stupid and not mature enough to handle conflict without thinking we should break up. I really dont know how I feel anymore and I dont know if leaving would help me just focus on me or hurt me even more losing him. Im scared and no one knows im even in a relationship because this is my first one and idk what im doing. I just want to figure out if its my fault or not, if ive lost romantic feelings and stay for the few benefits or if ocd is genuinely ripping my mind apart with fear.

Did anyone had weird experiences with their cousins when you were younger? I remember having this weird experience with my F cousing when we were both 13, and it's eating me alive with guilt and I just feel like I shouldn't exist

Was supposed to go back to work today after 2 months on med leave (work in healthcare with contamination ocd) i broke down and i couldn’t do it. I’m trying to see if i can work up the courage to go to work tomorrow :/ i’m very sad i feel so horrible about myself and I love my job but my ocd is so bad i just feel like i can’t do it i feel so weak. does anyone relate?

I feel like my brain doesn’t function properly anymore. I used to be so smart. I had a 4.0 in college, I was president of a student organization, I interned at an ivy league. I genuinely felt smart and motivated to excel. Now I just feel like an idiot. I have no drive. I make small mistakes all the time. I feel like I can’t form a complete sentence without stumbling over my words. Thoughts get all jumbled in my head. It makes me wonder if there’s something seriously wrong with me like a brain tumor or early Alzheimer’s. I used to pride myself on being decently intelligent but now I just feel sad. Anyone relate?

No one warned me that after six years of extreme ocd that when the anxiety settled you’d have backdoor spikes, exhaustion, and numbness like no other.

Ever since I was a child I have had these experiences that I can’t explain. I’ll have these random moments where I’ll be in the vicinity of a person that just causes me discomfort for some unknown reason… like I’ll see their face and it will just cause me anxiety and discomfort? And I’ll just feel like something horrible is going to happen? It’s difficult to explain and I feel like I sound crazy 😅 but does anyone else know what I’m talking about? I’ve never known what it is or where it comes from but I’m now thinking maybe it’s an OCD thing? Extra points if someone knows what subtype 😂 (I’m kidding about the points thing btw)

So I have pretty bad false memory OCD but this feels like it’s real. I got married a few weekends ago and it was so much fun. I drank more than I usually do as it was the only thing keeping me up after an hour of sleep the night before. I don’t remember all the details towards the end but know the general idea of what happened which I’m sad about because again I don’t get like that anymore. I don’t remember exactly when this memory came to mind but I know it wasn’t immediately after. I think maybe a few days to a week? Anyhow I somehow envisioned a memory of me sleeping with my husband’s friend in the bathroom. I’ve NEVER fantasized about this guy before as I barely even knew him. He was TRASHED but I somehow think we snuck into the bathroom real quick and hooked up. My husband and I both confronted trusted friends about this and they both said absolutely not but to me I’m thinking well even if we left for a minute and kissed. Idk it’s bad. Anyhow we were looking at photos from the photographer and there’s one of me hugging his friend and it’s driving me crazy and confirming everything. Like of all 150 people there’s me hugging maybe 2 people and he’s one of them?! I saw this photo after the memory. I am distressed and don’t know how to calm down.

I’ve had Harm OCD for a few months, it was pretty much on set. Lately my intrusive thoughts are like “You want to” or “I want to” and each time, I get anxiety in my stomach and feel like I’m gonna cry or just break down. I don’t know if it’s OCD or not but it’s making me so sad because I’ve NEVER harmed anyone but these thoughts are scaring me and making me feel guilty and like I’m a monster deep inside. Does anyone else have these thoughts or is it really only me?

Im new to this and I know OCD has many themes and majority I can handle. I have been dating my partner for 7 years and it has attached to my relationship of my questioning it. When I go out in public I seem to (without even realizing) I’m checking people out and comparing. I don’t even know if I should call it “checking out” or just looking around and noticing. Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Want to know if anyone can relate. Have you ever had someone who minimized how bad you were feeling. You tell them and they reply with “just pray” or “just get up outta bed and start your day and you’ll be fine”. “Just gotta think positive”. For a long time I had that attitude too. Just keep going and I’ll be fine. For the first time I understand what it’s like to do what you can but still be down in the dumps for months. Comments are appreciated.

It’s the start of spring, and that comes with many things. Allergies of course, but headaches? At some point about a week ago, I started to notice a headache, which I believe was coming from the forehead. I assumed it was sinuses. Almost a week has passed, and I notice that I tend to feel these slight sensations that would be full on headaches had they not lasted for less than a second. It might happen when I look over to my side, or just out of nowhere. I assume it’s stress and the ever changing weather, as Buffalo is certainly not known for consistent weather. The problem is that they drive me crazy, which is just because the OCD part of my brain steps in and says “What could it be? Maybe it’s something serious, maybe you’re dying and you don’t even know it.” I’m not looking for reassurance, I’m just venting here. Therapist’s orders want me to not look anything up if it’s trying to calm down OCD thoughts, so I’m really trying to listen to him. Sometimes, it scares me and makes me frustrated that I can’t look it up.

Does anyone else have such vivid dreams you have a hard time realizing you're safe when you wake up? I've always woken up sobbing since I was a child, but it used to be once every couple of years. In the last 2-3 years my husband is having to wake me up from either hyperventilating or physically crying in my dreams multiple times a month. I wake up covered in tears or gasping for air and it takes time to come down from it even once I realize I'm safe and it was just a dream. This is becoming way more frequent and I don't know if its an anxiety thing, OCD thing or just a thing. (I do not have Obstructive Sleep Apnea). This is one thing that really bothers me.

Was supposed to be my 1st day back to work today in over 2 months (I work in a hospital and have contamination OCD) And i didn’t go. I “couldn’t” go i just felt like i can’t do it. i feel so terrible and i feel like i failed God. I did not want to take meds but I’m considering starting medication for my OCD.

firstly i wanna mention that i have OCPD and ADHD as well so maybe others with OCD dont relate to this as much but i have something im really obsessed with and that i love and whenever someone mentions it without being informed about it i actually start going insane and i dont know how to not care about it. its such a simple thing i love mbti and when someone who doesnt know mbti functions talks about it i start getting super frustrated and thinking about that for hours and hours getting nowhere and even if i already told them and informed them i dont feel better. does anyone know how i can stop caring?

Hello! I have been diagnosed with ocd and have struggled with all types of intrusive thoughts. My most common intrusive thoughts are images and “what ifs”. These of course scare me, but I’m way more used to them. One intrusive thought that always catches me by surprise though, is a specific type that feels very real. It’s more of a statement. It’s been plainly and matter of factly “I did this [awful thing]” that I’m sure I didn’t do, but the certainty of this statement in my head makes me doubt. Is my brain admitting to doing this awful thing? Is this an intrusive thought? Does anyone else experience this specific type of intrusive thought? I’d appreciate any response and advice about this, thanks!☺️

I haven’t had the time or means to get a proper diagnosis, but I know i have intrusive thoughts, and I think they’re obsessive? Like I have really bad thanataphobia all of a suddenly like randomly one day I started to obsess over the thought of death, and like afterlife and stuff to the point I’d have a panic attack about literally anything related, and I would have intrusive thoughts about it that would be very intense. It caused me to disassociate for a couple of months. Anyways I’m here looking for support or advice? I just recently got to the point I don’t have the panic attacks, but I still have intrusive thoughts about it. Also I’ve had anxiety about bugs being in my food and drinks to the point I had to throw it away, or bugs being on my skin… anxiety about accidentally harming others. But honestly I feel like I’m making all that up and I’m a big liar for attention, and I feel like I should just delete this but i genuinely want help but I don’t wanna be that person who has like a million different diagnosis. I’ve been diagnosed with BPD depression and anxiety already, and honestly idk if they’re right? Idk if I have compulsions, and I was wondering what compulsive behavior looks or feels like? Maybe I am being overly sensitive or something idk… anything helps… thanks for reading!

Geneology and ancestry has always been a big part of my life, and a foundation of my identity. But it's also been a strange struggle for a long time. Long story short, my family came to the US in the 1890's. All "new stock" immigrants, no "old stock" English-Mayflower-colonist ancestry here. And for some reason, that bothers the living hell out of me. I don't know where to sit-too American for Europe, too European for America. My European ancestry seems close enough to where I could find a sense of identity in it, but it still feels too far back to do so. Would I even want to anyways? In elementary school we had "Geneology Club". I think being a kid who loved history surrounded by other kids who discovered very cool things about their ancestors here in the US really affected me. It's like another kid having a toy that you want...instead the toy is a background, a history, that you can never have. I'm a musician too. All the music I love is uniquely "American", and a lot of the musicians I look up to have deep roots in this country, and I feel like they can connect with this land and the rich tapestry of the nation better and express that through their art. And that goes for anyone else around me that has deep roots here too. I feel inadequate. It's obsessive. It's odd. People never really see where I'm coming from because they see the 1890's as still pretty far back, and that I can proudly call myself "American". But it doesn't feel that way. I've always been a pretty deep and spiritual guy. I don't feel like I cant connect with this land...or the land over in Europe. It all seems foreign. A lot of things seem very foreign to me now. Of course the depression I've been dealing with doesn't help, but this is just such an obsessive problem of mine, and when I learned I had OCD I can see how it might attach itself to this issue too. It's certainly very existential. It's numbing. I feel like I can't create. I can't live. I feel like a ghost floating around in the ether sometimes. And I've always had problems with identity...always. I was usually the shy quiet kid, the one who was a little nerdier. I didn't grow up with any strong cultural connections either; no inspiring family histories...nothing that could connect me to where I am NOW. Sure, maybe a really distant random here-say but that's it. I don't know where to go. I obsessively to geneological research in hopes that maybe, just MAYBE I'll find some connection to where I am now and that I'll feel a little more grounded and whole. But until then, I'm just floating.