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Lately some of my compulsions have been a bit strange. Today I thought in my head “if I see a Subaru in the next 30 seconds, I’m a lesbian” and “if that girl walks in within the next 10 seconds I’m a lesbian” pretty weird ikr? Another one of my most common compulsions is imagining myself in sexual and romantic scenarios with a woman to make sure I dont like it, and sometimes it feels as if I do. I do the same with men, to make sure I still like it and still always get a positive reaction out of it. Another one of my compulsions (I do this for hours everyday) is posting on this app and reading HOCD and latebloomer lesbian subreddits and googling and using chat got. Anyone else struggle with this? Is this OCD? Btw, I haven’t been diagnosed yet, but do you think I would be diagnosed?

i’ve been diagnosed with ocd, specifically i deal with relationship and morality themes. yesterday, my boyfriend and i were carving pumpkins and he wanted to watch a movie he suggested. throughout the whole movie i was getting increasingly more and more agitated as the insensitive jokes piled up and i watched him laugh. it all came to a head after we finished and were alone in bed where i started to spiral. i told him it worries me that he thinks jokes that rely on sexism, racist undertones, and mocking lgbt+ individuals are funny. his response is that he thinks all jokes that are told as jokes are funny. he is a good person who would never say anything derogatory to someone for any reason and he is telling the truth that he finds jokes about anyone funny. i try to explain to him why those jokes are insensitive and he shouldnt laugh at them all the time and last night i just lost it completely spiraling to “if you don’t care about other people, what’s going to make you care about me or our future family? if you have no empathy to understand why these jokes aren’t funny, you’re not going to have empathy for your family, you’re going to turn into a man who hates or hurts his family. that’s what all these type of men turn into.” he has shown no evidence of being violent but the lack of empathy and care not to hurt other people’s feelings makes me intensely worried for our future together. for how he’ll raise our future children. i spiral thinking if this means we aren’t supposed to be together or he’s not “the one.” i understand i can’t place my rigid beliefs on him, but i have absolutely no idea how to differentiate between what is actually something to worry about and what is something my ocd is telling me to worry about. i’ve struggled with this with every man ive dated and have stayed with horrible men as a result of it. i understand he is not those people; i am worried he will turn into them in the future. when i think of reality and what he has shown me through his actions, he treats me like absolute gold. he speaks kindly to me, he doesn’t ever raise his voice, he would never even think about hurting me physically or emotionally, he respects me as an individual, he views our relationship as a priority, he is respectful of my family and culture, he involves me in his life, he puts in enormous amounts of effort, we are semi-long distance and he drives the hour to me multiple times a week, we’ve gone on trips together, done countless beautiful dates he’s put thought and effort into, he involves me in his career as a musician and boasts to everyone that i’m the best thing that’s ever happened to him even though he is literally living his dream of being a touring musician, he treats me better than any man ever has or could, i believe. like i said, there is no evidence of the kind of behavior i am worried about toward me, his family, his friends, or anyone he comes across. he is a product of his upbringing and i understand that is why he finds these jokes funny. however, i am worried i am putting myself in the same position i always have and am going to be met with the same result. i love him and i do not want to break up with him, that is not on the table. i need help understanding how to differentiate between actually real issues and what my OCD is telling me are issues so i am not constantly in a state of agitation and not harping on things like him laughing at a joke in a movie and spending an hour on the conversation when we have limited time together before we need to travel the hour home each night to go to work the next day. it eats up so much of my time and energy and i just want it to stop.

i am a trauma technician, a job i love very much. i’m in nursing school and i wouldn’t change my career for the world. anxiety? she would love to change everything i want to do. sometimes i experience the expiration of patients and that is triggering for my brain. i will obsessive over other patients who are no longer with us and it will be a constant cycle of *image* “i am safe” *image* “it’s okay its over with now” *image* and that’s the mentally exhausting cycle i go through. menstruation is making is increased at the moment, i am trying so hard to give myself grace and try to find peace in the moments. i just had a really hard 12 hour shift yesterday and i am overall scared of expiration anyway so it’s definitely a hiccup i have to manage sometimes. my coworkers are super aware about it and my therapist is too. i just haven’t been on here much? but now i know i need to seek support because the ocd is isolating and i haven’t found a support system or group that truly understand the intrusive thoughts and images. does anyone else think of a traumatic situation and almost put it into steps? for example first, this happened, then this happened, then i made it home so that HAS to mean i am safe that HAS to mean it’s over with now.

I (22M) don't know if I actually have OCD or not, but I suspect I do based on what I had researched and heard from other people on here. I also did an initial intake form explaining my situation for one therapist, and she said she works with people that have issues similar to mine. At the same time, I never had an official diagnosis, and I can't find any therapists to talk to. The one I did the intake form for didn't have any availability and beyond her, there weren't any other therapists in my area that had availability and took my insurance. To that end, I was mostly on my own until I could possibly manage to move back to my hometown where there were more therapists that took my insurance. So, I was wondering if any of you managed to get to a point of it being manageable on your own and if you'd be willing to share any insights, by any chance.

when I have an intrusive thought, for some reason when I get a groin, I feel like an urge to touch myself down..it doesn't seem like a test but like something I can imagine and as if it were real. Like when you itch something, I don't know how to say it..and I can't understand it at all..and why do I imagine it, as if the taboo thought alone is not enough..I really don't even understand how to explain anymore..but I do to be afraid of it..and myself

Do I have any pals on here navigating autism and OCD? I sometimes feel like the care instructions for the two divergences are kind of opposite—it’s hard to know what to tackle with exposure therapy and what to seek accommodation for. I try to err on the side of gentleness as much as possible, but obvs OCD doesn’t always approve. 💕🌈💐🦄🫧

last friday night I had a work dinner/bowling party with colleagues. I went together with a girlfriend (we both work there). there was a male colleague who I talked and laughed with together with some other colleagues. my friend said she thinks he has a little crush on me, but that she didn't want to trigger my rocd. I said that that it's fine.. the whole night we were on an off smoking outside with colleagues and I was really bubbly and happy (more so because I was drinking alcohol) now I think he flirted with me, because I remembered he touched my arm once? and I think he had said something flirty. but I remember I thought it was weird and I never reciprocated any flirting. I haven't said anything weird and I was the exact same way that I would have been with my usual friends (guys or girls), but I can't shake the feeling I should have more explicitly said that I have a boyfriend!! it was mentioned in a conversation and he knows it, but then why would he act flirty? I feel so bad! Saturday I remembered? that I also had a thought about him being attractive? or me kissing him? and I think that I liked the thought. I don't even remember and I don't WANT to kiss anyone else besides my boyfriend. why did I keep talking to him if I had a thought like that? I feel so shitty and like I need to tell my boyfriend. but I wouldn't even know what to say? "I had a thought about someone else"? "Someone might have been a little flirty towards me and I didn't stop them, but I also didn't respond to it"? I can't decipher if I blame that I cheated on Ocd? or if my Ocd ia actually making this a bigger deal then it is? in the past I have confessed stupid things to my boyfriend and he said it's nothing to worry about, but I feel this is different and he would not like it at all (ps. I keep trying to make myself feel a little better by reminding myself my bf has done some things in the past of our relationship aswell, that he didn't confess to me (I found out), such as asking others online for sex while in active drug addiction. I understand that was just because of addiction. and I still feel like what I did feels worse and like I need to confess about it. my mind is going crazy would confessing be a bad thing to do? it usually makes me feel better

Recently, i've been really hyper fixated on death. I saw a video of a really bad car crash and i get intense anxiety everytime i drive. all i can think of all day are the possible ways i can die. i'll get very vivid images of myself dying in the worst ways possible, and it's making me miserable. everytime i leave the house i make sure to give my family a good farewell cause it feels like that'll be the last time ill ever see them every time i leave the house. i do compulsions related to these thoughts as well. for example, ill do the typical "do that action a certain amount of times or you'll die" compulsions. the butterfly effect also really gets me, because i always overthink everything i do, thinking it'll somehow affect the future and lead to my death. like this morning i made myself stop and count to ten before i got into the car so i could avoid an accident i supposedly would've gotten into if i left ten seconds earlier. i get into mental crises every time someone mentions death or an event involving it. i can't watch the news or horror movies anymore. just now, i was in public and getting into my head imagining an intruder holding me at gunpoint and shooting me, and a stranger asked if i was okay (i guess i was making a worried face lol). but it's affecting everything i do and i cried all last night convincing myself i was going to get into a fatal car accident on the way to work today. i think a lot of this got triggered when i watched the final destination movie. i'm never watching anything from that franchise again cause that movie messed me up and ive been having these intrusive thoughts ever since and that was like 5-6 months ago😭 but i need help on how to combat these thoughts because i can't even hear the words "death" or "manifestation" without going into a crisis.

I have struggled for years with this theme and not being intimate with a guy has made it feel more real I just want to know if there is real hope for me to get married and have a normal life if I start therapy and meds and etc I don’t want false hope either but I don’t know sometimes therapy scares me because what if my fears are true which at that point whatever cuz maybe I’d have less anxiety. Can anyone give advice I’m currently in a bad spiral

Hi guys I am looking for erp near me I’m trying a few spots for consults and I want your advice because I’m 23 F and I just feel like I wasted a lot of time thinking I could get better one day but I still haven’t. I take meds which maybe help but not that much either. Can anyone give me advice for how to cope on hard days that I feel gross and guilty. I don’t even want to be around my parents at times because I feel bad. I also feel like I’m faking it sometimes because no one else near me feels like this.

I’m not sure what to ask but does anyone else experience a throbbing sensation that made them worry if they were gay? Mine happens just about every day over reading someone’s story or tv or anything type of social media it’s mainly just that feeling nothing else no wanting to please myself in the moment or whatever I do get the thoughts yea sometimes it’ll last but I’ll end up wanting to have relations with my husband but I honestly just want this to end am I overthinking it?

Anyone else in a relationship and now struggling with SOCD . I’ve been struggling with some episodes lately and they just feel more distressing and harder to get rid of than normal. My boyfriend hates that I am hurting and I hate keeping things from him. I don’t know how to bring up that my brain is making me think I am possibly attracted to women when that’s the last thing I want but I don’t know how to explain that. Help please

Hi everyone, So recently I was out and about and I had a thought that “what if you’re attracted to her”, “it feels like you are”, “why are you staring at her”, “are you trying to look pretty to her”, etc. which really bothered me. I’ve been going these past few days saying “okay I have this thought, it doesn’t mean anything and I don’t need to figure it out” but it keeps making me feel icky and guilty and just depressed… i tried being intimate with my husband the other day and normally I can push things aside but it just kept popping into my head which made me feel so uncomfortable I couldn’t even enjoy intimacy which then makes me feel even worse. Idk what’s going on my I just want to cry, I’m so tired…

I used to be a past addict and I know what it looks like but now Its so hard for me to partake recreationally to anything without paranoia my health will just plummet. I partook in the booga suga last night and I know it triggers my ocd most times I do it and I’m stopping completely after this party im going to this weekend just because of how much the “repercussions”scare me. I honestly don’t do it often like 1 or 2 nights a month for just this past year and it doesn’t ALWAYS go like this but it does a lot where I get a little blood in my snot and then I start freaking out that i’ve messed up my brain or “am i doing this too much am I addicted?” Or what if I get a hole in my nose then I start going down rabbit holes scaring myself even worse. Ik what you’re probably all thinking is “why do it then?” I just wanna be able to have a little fun with my friends and not freak out about it. But I have explained to them that I’m quitting completely after this party we go to. I don’t want it in my life anymore I have completely kicked other things from my life that have royally messed me up this is just another thing I want to be rid of because of the fears that come along with it. Does anyone else experience this? Im spiraling right now honestly its rare I write on here but its kinda helping me at least stay off the internet.

How does everyone try to combat their real event OCD? I keep remembering this certain memory where an old friend of mine from a group years ago who was a guy messaged me on Snapchat last year on Halloween he said something to me. I don’t remember what he said and I responded and I don’t remember what I said, but I do remember that I removed him right after, as well as one other guy, I do remember why I removed them and it was because I had a thought where I was like “I don’t want my fiance seeing these guys that I used to talk to on my snap and think that I’m doing something wrong or anything.” I know I removed them out of respect for our relationship and I remembered because I remembered I had gotten an anxious and nervous because they were still on my snap, but 2 months after I un added that guy off my snap(December 2024) I panicked because I don’t remember what I said or he said and I got worried about what if I flirted and said something wrong. I spoke to my fiancé about it and he pretty much reassured me and he told me that if I had actually done something out of that intent, I wouldn’t have told him about it at all, so that helped me and reassured me for a little bit, and then my OCD moved on to another theme for months. Fast forward to now, I remembered the same thing and my thought was “What if I cheated and I blocked it out of my memory.” And I started freaking out again and I started panicking. I told my fiancé about it again and he reassured me again but recently my OCD has been really bad and every theme I’ve had has caused me to have bad mental breakdowns intensely, it just sucks because I can’t go check if I actually said something flirty and I just didn’t realize it because I added the guy last year right after I talk to him I just wanted to know if anyone has any thing that they do whenever they have a problem with their relevant OCD around the cheating theme. Because my fiancé is a god sent and I’d never ever want to hurt him, I hate that my ocd attaches to him because it makes me feel like I’m a horrible person.

I am having troubling understanding something. I worry that I don’t love my partner and that I don’t want to be with them, yet I have no intentions to break up with them. Deep in my heart I know I love him, that I want something with him. Yet I still feel anxious, I felt anxious even as I typed that. It just doesn’t make sense to me.

My friend messaged me this morning and asked if I wanted to go to the beach with her over spring break. Obviously I said yes because I never get to go anywhere and I asked my parents. They just said maybe and I didn’t think into it. Well I asked my dad a little bit ago and he started telling me all of the bad things that could happen to me if I go down there (not going to elaborate bc I want to keep this short). They made me spiral pretty bad because now I feel like everything will go wrong if I get the chance to go. I just want to be a normal teenager that isn’t driven into fear because of her parents. It’s not that they outright stop me from doing things, rather they manipulate me into being petrified from even trying.

should i feel bad for unintentionally killing flies that were on the organic waste in my sink? i was cleaning stuff with water and i knew that they were there so first i shaked the bin a bit that is inside the sink, i had mold in my pot and i cleaned with water and i saw after that there 3-4 small flies dead in the water i tried to save one but it was too late. i knew i could have accidentally killed them by i tried to mildly avoid killing them with the water i was using in the sink. i know it's overthinking, still it matters no?

Not OCD related but I kinda need help. I adopted a baby kitten and I'm worried he'll be unhappy. He's really comfortable around the house and loves to jump on me and sleep with me. He bites a lot, and I'm trying to teach him to stop. But a few times he tried to bite my feet, and I accidentally kicked him 😰. He is the most precious thing and I am worried I am not a good owner. When I carry him in like, baby style, he loves it and purrs, sometimes I take him out of his little house to cuddle with him, and I feel guilty but then he won't leave. He loves to play, but sometimes it seems like he is scared, but Honestly I think he likes to play pega pega, I am just so worried!! Tips would be so helpful!