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Me: I'm so mad at little me for making crazy faces, then there was rare adorable ones. She was so cute nontheless haha. Sibling: That's why I tell you to try to smile in photos, try to show yourself and not hide your face. (And more.) Me: Ew, no. The difference is that I'm no longer 5. I'm not as cute anymore. I'm too old. Sib: And that doesn't mean you're still not cute?! You always act like you're older than you are. You're still a kid. You think you're so grown but you're really not. Me: ... Huh... anyways- --- That was a short conversation, moved on quickly but that did sort of stick with me. I never realized how much of an impact Existential OCD has on me. I'm no longer a "young kid" nor just became a teen. Basically one more year until I'm "legally" considered an adult- not for drinking age but you know. But I'm still young and what my sis said was true. There's many times where I now considered myself "expired" and I jokingly tell everyone that I'm on my deathbed. Etc. (They think I'm kidding, but I'm not.) I find other adults young, I always see people in their 40's and I get MAD whenever others say "old", or "uncle status" and anything by those words- I always encourage all adults either 30 or 55+ to contintue doing what they love and they are still so young ! (Hypocrite much I know) but the idea of adulthood towards MYSELF is what's so horrifying, but because of that I try to overprepare myself by treating myself as how I'd feel like an "adult" would be treated as. How they're treated by others. "I'm too old for that.", "Why does it matter? I'm no longer young.", "I remember back then when I was young..." and ect. Examples on things I'd say. Funny thing is that I love being childish, I draw comics, I love watching cartoons and many have mentioned that I act childish in a positive way. I love that. But I guess due to Real Event OCD, I was trying so hard to act grown up at such a young age- I did things I regret now and even at a MUCH younger age I discovered adult things that messed me up. Now the idea of aging scares me. I keep childhood as a really touchy subject and I don't know how my age is supposed to act like truly. But time going quickly freaks me out that I rush into things trying to make the most of it at a "young age" but at the same time being afraid to do so. The whole subject itself is complex, and I have a lot to learn from it but for now what I DO know is that my idea of the whole thing is nuts ! But the other side of me thinks it absolutely true so... that's that . :")

i think im getting paranoic i dont know if its a part of ocd but i have catastrophing scenarios. i had a big argument with my friends and we are in no contant. in the beginning of my relationship with my boyfriend i used to have doubts and i told my friends horrible things. my boyfriend know about it because i told him few months ago. i wasn't also fully over my past relationship. it was not about the person but about the whole situation. it was months into relationship when i used to tell my friends that it still hurt me what that someone did and i said some other bullshit. i used to text them about it. i also told them about arguments with my boyfriend ect. my boyfriend know about all this stuff because i had a need for confession but know im scared that my friends would send my boyfriend screenshots of all these messages and things. i had changed and we talked about everything but he didnt want to know what i texted them. i told him about it in general not in details and im scared that if he saw it he would break up with me. i regret all of my past mistakes but now im really stressed that they might send him these messages to ruin my relationship. idk what to do or to tell my boyfriend about this fear.

Hi so I have a huge fear of being delusional having schizophrenia and losing touch with reality so I've had crazy thoughts like what if clouds aren't real and stuff like what if nobody else are real and crazy thoughts like that however few months ago I had a thought that went like this what if I believe in lizard people that are hiding as people crazy right and just to make clear I DO NOT AND HAVE NOT BELIEVED ANY OF THE THOUGHTS AT ALL! But it feels like I do I've had thoughts like what if I believe this what if my grandma is one... I hate it I love my grandma and it breaks my heart having thoughts like this because I went to go see her for the second time in person I want to El Salvador to get some help you know I went to a mental hospital I didn't stay there or anything I just wanted to get diagnosed they told me I had health anxiety and not OCD at first it was OCD then health anxiety so I'm kind of confused but I know this got to be OCD anyway every time I was over there I kept having the thoughts like crazy thoughts like oh what if they can read my mind and stuff like that all kinds of crazy crap and at some times it feels like I actually do believe it or even worse feels real but deep down I'm like no this isn't real this isn't real I know these thoughts aren't real this isn't reality and it would feel so real I remember one time I was in the car it was late at night and I was with my aunt and a friend of hers and we were going home cuz in El Salvador everything is like far away obviously and she lives somewhere else from my grandma and it was like I don't know what it was deep personalization or something I don't know but I was just I felt like I feel weird I feel crazy like it felt real and these thoughts got here after the whole what if everyone else around me are not real just calm down and then I was watching YouTube and I thought came up of conspiracy theories and it came to lizard people for some reason and the movie like I don't know if y'all know a movie where it says obeying like buy stuff and it like some dude puts on glasses and he can see aliens and all that stuff I think that's what made it worse as well because I saw clips of that on Instagram obviously I know it's fiction but it's like oh my gosh and here's what I'm actually worried about and it kind of just like makes things worse for me I would get anxious right as if it were real and this is what f**** me up a lot and my anxious because I believe it or think it's real or I'm anxious about believing it and thinking it's real and that's where I get confused I mean I don't believe this but sometimes it feels like I'm lying to myself I feel like a liar but I know deep down when I'm calm and the anxiety isn't there I've got some ssris that really help like take away a lot of my anxiety but the thoughts are still there it helps me calm down and yesterday I had like the best day of my life I was calm I was able to do everything I had the thoughts but I just kept ignoring them it's like once I don't give it attention it goes away and I don't freak out but when I'm looking for the thought okay dude am I okay I just want to know am I am I okay am I schizophrenic I mean when I went to the mental hospital I explained I explained them my thoughts and from the beginning how I had hocd pocd and all that kind of OCD themes and then I want to help OCD while I was afraid of having cancer then schizophrenia then then believing delusions and that is my fear I am very afraid of believing delusions that would mean insane I don't know what to do anymore they told me I don't have schizophrenia thank God but like I just it feels horrible having intrusive thoughts about my family and other people I hate these thoughts so much I don't believe it but damn they feel so real and maybe because I try to avoid of giving myself reassurance and once I do give myself reassurance like this is not real this is not real then I thought comes up am I just saying this is not real because I actually think it's real or or something else and then I questioning wait do I believe this it feels like I believe this but then sometimes my worry isn't like what if I believe it it's almost like if I'm actually worrying it about if it's true and then I started getting more anxious because then I stopped my like whoa no no no I'm so scared of losing touch with reality and I am sorry for the long post I'm using this voice thing cuz it's so much to type I tried erp in the plane once it got really bad and it worked it really worked I sat down with the anxiety and the thoughts and then the anxiety just went away then the for the rest of the day once I landed your back in the in the states I felt good and then I took my medication that really helps me and it's in the medications for OCD when they told me that it's not OCD and it's health anxiety hypochondriac I sort of didn't know what to think at first but I know that this is obsessive compulsive sort of judging from I have mental I have compulsions and mental rumination and of course the obsessions I looked so many times in Reddit and on this app if someone has the same stuff that I am where they're actually like afraid of believing it and then again they're also afraid of going crazy or heck even if they think it's true even though deep down they know it's not it's just like these moments where I'm like really anxious in my head I feel disconnected but I know that there's a part of me and there is a part of me saying that this isn't true that this is OCD and that I know it's not true I know it's not deep down I know it's not true no matter how real it felt no matter whatever I've never actually believed it even though it felt so f****** real I've never believed the thoughts and I still continue to be on my way and be with my family has anyone else gone through something like this or something and if so what should I do

Hi, this is my first time posting anything so sorry if I accidentally trigger someone. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months, and we've had a lot of ups and downs but good times too. I love him very much, but lately it's been harder to enjoy the relationship because I feel like I emotionally cheated. There was this guy in high-school that I grew close too over the course of a year, and quickly developed feelings for him. Fast forward, during our last month of high-school I started developing feelings towards my now boyfriend, and it was great. But, over the course of us dating whenever something bad happens I think "the guy I liked in high-school wouldn't say or do that" and it bothers me a lot. I ended up blocking him and I told my boyfriend about my lingering feelings towards him, and after a couple months I unblocked him to apologize and wished him a marry Christmas (which I told my partner about and he was good with it). But, one night when I was on Instagram I saw his story and it was pictures of him and I felt anxious and flushed to the point where my heart started beating and my thoughts felt intense. After that, I blocked him again and told my partner that I wasn't ready and ultimately decided to not talk to him or have a friendship with him anymore. Throughout our relationship, I just kept thinking and questioning whether I liked him or not and other various thoughts. It's so confusing, I love my partner. What should I do?

I don’t know if this is ocd or maybe I have a messed up view of who Jesus is.. I just always have resentment, fear, and anxiety around Christianity.. never peace or happiness. One of my biggest triggers is knowing free will exists and I have the choice if I want to go to heaven or hell. That triggers me so much because I don’t know who to follow, myself and the world or Jesus Christ. I’ve been a Christian all my life so I don’t know if I genuinely want to stop believing or not. I don’t even know if I want Jesus anymore or not. This is so exhausting and I ruminate on this so much.. does anyone else experience this?..

Hi everyone, I’m new to this app. My reason for downloading is mostly to combat or find new ways to deal with my relationship OCD. I was in an abusive relationship at 17 that triggered this line of thinking for me. I’m now 19 and my girlfriend and I have been together for over a year. She is patient and committed to helping me heal from what was done to me. I didn’t notice this trauma start to creep up until after I met my gf for the first time (we are long distance). When I got home I started having intrusive thoughts that she may leave me, that she’s angry with me, etc. She gives me zero signs of this, it’s purely my own brain and trauma telling me this. I try my best to not constantly ask for reassurance because I know that’s not healthy. Lately though, I’ve been unintentionally starting arguments. I will obsess over a thought about our relationship and when I bring it up to her nothing she says calms me down and it leads to a fight. I don’t ever want to make her feel that way and it’s not intentional nor is it fair to her. Does anyone have any advice on how I can better myself for my relationship? I’m trying my absolute hardest. I love her and I want to be the best version of myself for the both of us. My trauma has nothing to do with her, yet she’s been so willing to help me through all of it and still love me.

I'm a naturally curious person who sometimes likes to ask big questions and think philosophical ideas about life, but it's really gotten to the point where it's almost all I can think of and it's pretty distressing. I feel like my mind needs complete reassurance about questions that don't have answers (like why are we here, is there life after death, if life meaningless, is meaning even real, etc). Another thing my mind does is constantly deconstruct things just to protect me or something (love is just hormones, we're just atoms, paintings are just pigments, etc). I also sometimes wonder what the point is of anything (like work or exercise) if we're gonna die anyway? I don't mean to ask for reassurance, but I'm curious to see if anybody who reads this has/does struggle with existential OCD and what you did to overcome it. I feel like I'm struggling.

Does anyone ever get the feeling that the universe is intentionally fucking with you? Like you’ll be really nervous for something, and you keep telling yourself it’ll be okay, it’ll be easy, but then some insane unforseeable roadblock just falls from the sky and completely messes everything up. And sometimes it’s just one thing after another, it’s almost comical. When it rains it really pours. And sometimes I get this delusional thought that the universe is crafting this on purpose because the chaos is just too ridiculous. I don’t believe that’s true, not really. I think things just happen randomly and as humans we feel the urge to assign meaning to everything. But with OCD I can really get myself convinced that it’s all a plot just to torture me specifically.

Basically I'm poor my family is poor it's rare to ever get games and so I do pirate all from big games like Pokemon and such but I do feel guilty as because I'm an artist I understand how much time and effort it takes to make a game and I'd def buy the game if I had the money but I still feel guilty especially because I know people say if you don't have the money just don't get it or spend time your time doing something else. Which I do I like drawing and making characters but I also feel like it's unfair to not allow poor people to play games just because we'll they poor

Hi everyone! I’m new to the community and trying to understand relationship ocd. I want to know what others experience, to understand myself better, but to also feel some validation in it. Sometimes I feel like it’s all I can do is ruminate about my relationships.. with my partner, friends, and family.. but my romantic relationships are the hardest…

Hi I have a personal and intimate question but i haven't seen many proof of it so I want to ask here cause it makes me feel alone and creepy. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the answers. Is it normal to have intrusive thoughts during org@sm? And I mean like the most debilitating ones like family members, kids or animals. I think that because of it s3x or m@sturbation might be impossible for me. Also I don't have ocd written on the paper like an actual diagnosis I just went to a psychiatrist and told him about my other symptoms and he said that its probably ocd so my brain tells me that if it actually isn't then something is very wrong with me.

So the other night i accidentally called my boyfriend my ex’s name, me and this ex dated off and on from august-October off and on like crazy, stayed tg 1-2 weeks broke up, like off and on. The longest we was tg was like maybe 2 weeks. And i always thought about other guys while with him, he treated me terrible. Like our main cause of breakup was he had sex with me while i was drinking, and he was sober, and i said i wouldnt agree sober, but i wanted to do it?? And he did a sex position i told him i didnt wanna do before we even had sex. and when j expressed it the next morning he was defensive and mean? Ig and i forgave him, then one day i argued w this guy bc he was making fun of an autistic kid, and my ex got so mad i argued with some guy for doing that.? And he basically said it wouldnt work, and i was trying so hard idk why? I never did. and he sent me a pic of his ex’s gf house. That he swore he didnt miss or love and so i was like wtf? But i was like okay whatever? and went on. And i was just in a low spot with him.. and he would always tickle me and id get mad. well me and him was separated a month, i got with my current boyfriend who i ADORE. Ive never felt so amazing about being with someone. and the other night he started tickling me and i screamed “STOP (my ex’s name) and i felt so terrible about something, now my mind tries to tell me i miss my ex, i wanna be with him, and how i miss his attention etc etc. but i dont? And my mind tries to make me think i wanna look at him and what not but i dont, or puts his name where my boyfriends name should be and sometimes when i try saying my bfs name it will mix his and my ex’s name? But I like hearing how he messed up his life leaving me bc idk ego especially with what he did? And i have rocd and pure o so please someone help me with what to do. Because i feel like crap.

so I’m struggling. Ever since last weekI still feel numb with him. Like I’m faking it or anything he does is an “ick. When does that go away. I have no thoughts attached to this but the minute I wake up the feeling is there. The feeling leads to me thinking about what is happening. If these are my feelings trying to come out but now I’m getting crazy body effects. Sharp pains in my side of my armpit and headaches. I don’t want to end this with him. That’s not a thought that crosses my mind really. It’s just the feeling of fake, numb, loss of “attraction” idk. When is this supposed to be better. I don’t wanna feel this every day of every minute. I just want to be happy with him and i physically and mentally can’t. I keep thinking, maybe all this anxiety are my feelings trying to come out and I keep pushing them down but the thoughts of breaking up isn’t scary. I would be very sad but I know how to end something with someone, I have before. My last ex, I didn’t wanna be around him, hangout with him and I didn’t want him to touch/kiss me. It’s not like that at all with my current boyfriend. We hangout all the time and he comes over. Sometimes I get thoughts of I need space but I’m to scared to listen to that because what if I want that space forever. I just don’t get why I’m not attracted to him and I’m almost faking my feelings. I am struggling.

I am shaking so bad cuz I can’t sleep. My trigger words of blas*** are so bad after I got my nails done. Anyone else relate to this??? I feel like I’m the only one of the unforgive sin my brain can’t stop does anyone else fixate on that it gets worse and worse. Every choice says if you do that is it fake??? How can I ignore that voice. Like there’s no point of living if it’s not for God and not going to heaven. And everytime I close my eyes it’s just blas ****y of the holy **** what do I do has anyone been through this. Every time I close my eyes it’s like BAM BAM BAM. I can’t. Someone help. I hope someone can relate or give me advice. I am so tired and have work in the morning and feel so dumb. Like is my life ruined for ever and ever and eternity hasn’t even started yet.

Hi everyone, I'm new to NOCD, not exactly knowing if I actually have OCD. When I was younger, I had poor dental hygiene from the moment I grew baby teeth up until I was around 18 years old. I was never encouraged to have good hygiene because I wasn't taught the consequences of not doing so. I would skip brushing a lot, never brush in the morning, and never floss. I even had gingivitis for a little bit. My family has Medicaid, and we practically live in the middle of nowhere, so getting proper care/treatment and medical advice is close to impossible. Every time I go to the dentist, I have a different doctor, and I never know if they're going to hurt me or not. Although I'm very ashamed to admit this, I probably have over 20 fillings, but I lost count. Unfortunately, I think I still have more that need to be filled, but I don't even want to know. I have a cleaning and X-ray scheduled in March. I see many teeny tiny black dots. I just recently started to take my oral health seriously after I went to get a filling. I had many fillings as a kid that it felt normal, but this time I felt the sensitivity as the dentist was drilling. I've never had that happen, but for the last two fillings I've had, it did (I'm guessing it's due to the lack of numbing because I've never had that problem before, and this is the only time I've had the same doctor twice). So, now I'm terrified of the dentist, and I grip the chair as hard as I can whenever they work on my teeth. That's when my obsession started. Actually, it started when I got my yearly physical and bloodwork. I was informed that I had borderline high cholesterol as an 18-year-old. Then, I began looking up what would happen if I lived with high cholesterol. Then what causes it, my chances of having heart attacks, etc. I started to Google random symptoms in fear and often looked on Reddit as a form of reassurance. My borderline high cholesterol, combined with my fear of my teeth rotting, has been torture these last few months. I'm scared that my teeth are too damaged that the future of them won't be great. I am terrified that I'm going to need a root canal, crown, or even dentures. With my cholesterol, I'm so scared that I'm going to have a heart attack. I feel like, because I think about it so much, my brain has actually started to create those symptoms. I felt my chest tightening, and I felt pain when I breathed. Every single time without fail, I would look it up online to reassure myself. And, every single time, it's made me feel worse because I'd find some bit of information that tells me "Yes, you're dying," or "Yes, it's too late to save your teeth." I even started to look up to see if my brain can create fake symptoms-- found out that it can be the case. It's not only the anxiety and my thoughts that have been plagued, though. I can feel it affecting my diet. I've lost 10 lbs since my doctor's appt in early September. Every time I want to eat something that has even a tiny sugar content, I believe that if I eat it, it'll only fuel my current cavities and I'll have to get a root canal someday. I often decline a lot of food because I'm scared of its fat content for cholesterol, or sugar content for cholesterol and my teeth. Now, when I wake up, all I can think about is the bacteria that are in my mouth, which are probably fueling my cavities and increasing my risk of losing every single one of my teeth. It sounds exhausting, and that's exactly what it is. I want it to stop. My therapist is currently on holiday, and I haven't seen her since before this obsession got super bad. Not sure what to do. Again, I just want it to stop. I miss my life before I had anxiety, and now possibly OCD. I'm glad I found a safe space for this, and I know I am not alone :) Thank you for reading if you made it this far <3

worrying about things gets so mentally and physically tiring. i can sleep 14 hours and i still feel so incredibly tired. every 5 seconds and 24/7 i’m always thinking of things that can make me sick. friends and boyfriend drinking out of my water bottle, instantly my brain goes to if they have a disease neither of us know about and they’re passing it on to me. or what bacteria or germs are on their hands that will get on mine when i grab the water bottle. then about what happens if i run out of hand sanitizer or can’t get to a sink. today i went to the mall and just everyone around me really stressed me out. people coughing, rubbing their noses, walking in close proximity. i just can’t deal with it. i want to close myself off and stay in my room 24/7 but i know that’s not healthy for me. i’m also in college but now on break and i also worry about having to go back to showering in the same place as people i don’t know. what if they’re washing stuff off of them and it could get on me if i accidentally touch it? ik this thought pattern is extremely detrimental but i just can’t stop it from happening. one of the big things that has been bothering me is concerning my dog. i love my sweet baby so so so much but my brain automatically goes to him having a disease or rabies that will pass on to me and i’ll die. i get weird when he licks me because i don’t want him to think i don’t love him because i absolutely adore him but it just freaks me out to think of everything that could be in his mouth on my skin. i can look at my thinking and know this is not logical thinking but i can’t stop it from happening. ocd keeps me from loving my sweet baby boy. i guess the whole point of this post is to ask if anyone knows how to stop these thoughts from happening or not letting my mind dwell on them. when i feel this way i try to talk to my boyfriend, who isn’t always available because he has a full time job and can’t be on the phone all of the time. he is the only one that comforts me and makes me feel okay. i also get those really intrusive thoughts when he and i are kissing or having sex, like “what if he has meningitis and is spreading it to me” or “he’s giving me an incurable std that will kill me” when i know he is loyal and has none of those things. he’s also noticed that i’ve been very anxious and obsessed with these things. so i’m reaching out to anyone who knows any type of coping skills as a last resort. please, i feel like i’m going crazy. if you have anything, please let me know. also, thank you for reading until the end of this, i really appreciate it. ik it’s long but i felt like i needed to vent :(

Rant :’o This past month ive been feeding into my ocd cycle. Even when I know it’s bad I still do it? My cycle seems to looklike this: -gets intrusive thought - gets reaction to thought, views it negatively, so I get defensive and push away physically and emotionally until I get clarity and reassurance that my thoughts aren’t real or that they have no validity. It is SOOOOO HARD to break out of the defensive mode when im simultaneously having thoughts that are telling me “do I trust him? Do I want this relationship? Is this relationship something I still want? Do I care about him or am I even in love with him?”. It adds fuel to the fire and makes it hard to break out of that defensive stage. It makes you feel like whats the point in fighting for this relationship. Listen I didn’t ruminate much or at all on this thought im about to share and im not seeking a why behind my actions but just spreading something I noticed and feel could have some validity behind it but if it’s a possible reason then so be and if it’s not then so be :3 But I feel like when I’m in a defensive mode all im feeling is anger, sadness, emotional numbness even, that it leaves no room/space for the love I have for my boyfriend to enter or even be seen to help me lend out my arm and be trusting. That’s what im feeling in my defensive mode/ defensive tunnel vision so when I’m asking myself why should I even trust him and trust that my intrusive thoughts aren’t real then it feels like there’s no point in trusting or stop pushing him away when there’s no feelings of love or happiness and excitement to combat the negative thoughts. I know im just ratting on myself for checking feelings and you should just trust that your intrusive thoughts aren’t real and all but im not used to having checking feelings as a compulsion or at least im more self aware that im performing the compulsion now and im struggling on how to approach this with erp. If u have tips regarding erp and checking feelings then feel free to let me know !! Ty ^^ I hope im making sense and im not just talking in circles lol. In sum, those negative feelings in my defensive mode make it hard to be so trusting and break free when that’s all you’re feeling and im letting those feelings navigate how I approach trust when I don’t have that reassurance there to make me break out of my cycle and I have to do it on my own. My New Year’s resolution is to be better at maintaining and improving my erp. I will be trusting and I will be better.

Everything i do, every decision, every item i own, numbers, they all feel me with an awful feeling. If you do this, this will happen to you. I’m sick of the feeling. It takes over everything. Please advice

I have been struggling for a very long time with what could be OCD. I haven’t gotten fully diagnosed yet because everywhere has been full. But here is my story: I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and one month, and he is the best person I’ve ever dated. I love him extremely and we have the best time together, we have similar values, we’re best friends, all of the good things. We went long distance roughly 8 months into our relationship for about four months, and then he moved back. From August until now, I have had growing doubts about our relationship beginning when I didn’t have huge honeymoon-y feelings when I saw him for the first time after a while. Ever since then I have had intrusive thoughts like what if I’m not actually having fun with him? What if we’re not meant for each other? And like in moments of intimacy I will question if I’m actually enjoying anything and what if I’m actually gay. I have felt attraction to girls before in my life but I’ve never dated any, and I absolutely enjoy sexual things with my boyfriend, I think I just resort to black and white thinking. Anyway, all of these thoughts have gotten to me so bad that there have been three several-day periods over the past two months where I can barely eat and barely sleep because I am so anxious and I feel like breaking up is the only thing I can do. A lot of other people who aren’t familiar with OCD are like “well you shouldn’t feel this way so maybe it’s time to break up”. It absolutely breaks my heart because I love him and I don’t feel like I’m missing out in life and our relationship doesn’t have any problems, I just am exhausted of feeling the way I feel and I hate having to break his heart telling him I’m having these thoughts. I also now get super anxious to see him until the thoughts and feelings just subside and get better on their own. Like right now I’m in a phase where I don’t want to see or talk to him because I’m afraid of being more anxious. I just want help differentiating between if breaking up is actually what I need or if another plan of action would be better, or if anyone else has been through something like this before. I appreciate it so much. I hate to keep adding stuff but I feel like now after sitting with these thoughts for so long it just feels like maybe we aren’t compatible and that I would just feel better if we broke up. But because I’ve been going in and out of feeling this way and we’ve had so much fun together, I really don’t want to give in. I just feel SO AWFUL. Does ROCD make people cry all the time and make people constantly have a pit in their stomach? Like I have never felt this awful in my life and peoples first thing is to say that means the relationship isn’t right which makes me want to give up.

So I need to get my nails done again but been thinking if I should get them off and just have natural nails bc I saw this other Christian girl do it and was like maybe God is convicting me to go natural too?? And then if I disobey and go get a fill anyway my brain says that I will commit blas**** the word triggers but yk the sin. Anyway sometimes I can ignore it but when it tells me THAT I get afraid and won’t sleep for days cuz then I’m doomed forever and there is no point so idk what to do cuz I have an appt today and if I go then it’s like telling that to God that I rather get my nails done?? Like I rather do nothing than have that happen but I really want my nails done too and I’m stressed. Is this anyone else’s trigger compulsion and the Holy Spir is a trigger word too apart of that with the B