- Date posted
- Yesterday
Recently, i've been really hyper fixated on death. I saw a video of a really bad car crash and i get intense anxiety everytime i drive. all i can think of all day are the possible ways i can die. i'll get very vivid images of myself dying in the worst ways possible, and it's making me miserable. everytime i leave the house i make sure to give my family a good farewell cause it feels like that'll be the last time ill ever see them every time i leave the house. i do compulsions related to these thoughts as well. for example, ill do the typical "do that action a certain amount of times or you'll die" compulsions. the butterfly effect also really gets me, because i always overthink everything i do, thinking it'll somehow affect the future and lead to my death. like this morning i made myself stop and count to ten before i got into the car so i could avoid an accident i supposedly would've gotten into if i left ten seconds earlier. i get into mental crises every time someone mentions death or an event involving it. i can't watch the news or horror movies anymore. just now, i was in public and getting into my head imagining an intruder holding me at gunpoint and shooting me, and a stranger asked if i was okay (i guess i was making a worried face lol). but it's affecting everything i do and i cried all last night convincing myself i was going to get into a fatal car accident on the way to work today. i think a lot of this got triggered when i watched the final destination movie. i'm never watching anything from that franchise again cause that movie messed me up and ive been having these intrusive thoughts ever since and that was like 5-6 months agoš but i need help on how to combat these thoughts because i can't even hear the words "death" or "manifestation" without going into a crisis.
- Trigger warning
- Students with OCD
- Existential OCD
- Young adults with OCD