I’m just so sad. Ocd just attacks everything I love and care about and makes it horrible. I want my life back…whatever that was I don’t even remember anymore it’s been two years of struggling with ocd
Community
Discussion
If you are in crisis, please use these emergency resources to find immediate help.
i got a crush on a girl today at school and AOFKEKDJDJJD IT FEELS SO NICE and my OCD has faded, i’ve done ERP as well but i feel… lesbian again !!
When you recover from OCD or at least get better, do you start to feel normal again? Like be focused on and worried about other things like school, family, future, etc. instead of just obsessing over one thing and being able to do the things you enjoy and living without constant intrusive thoughts or guilt that’s always there. Does that all go away?
Sometimes I think I’m getting better but I just still feel like I’ve lost a piece of myself. Where’s the me that loved my partner so easily ? The me that loved men and didn’t really care about girls ? The me that loved to hang out with friends ? Where did she go? I miss her…
Ive just realized how much OCD can prevent us from processing trauma and grief The reason I say this, is cus its common for us to ruminate and compulsively look back in our past to figure out why we feel the way we do. But when were constantly looking back, we actually cant process things and move forward. We think that by doing this, were finding the answer, but really were just putting up a wall. To process things we need to just be present, and let things be
Does anyone else start freaking out after a while of not performing compulsions that that means that youre actually the monster that your brain told you you are? Like when I have the compulsions at least I know I’m against the intrusive thoughts
Anyone else have a weird sensation in their eyes, behind their eyes(?), and headache? I’m worried it’s derealization or dissociation. I also have a pulsing feeling on a specific part of my head. Could this be from intrusive thoughts?
Is there any ways that I can get my life back together? OCD is making this very hard for me and I am trying to get out a slump (not getting out of bed unless for bathroom or food, not taking care of my hygiene much, not drinking water, etc.) and I have classes soon. Are there any tips or advice you can give me to possibly help me out?
I feel AWFUL! I feel like I need to pray again. I intentionally got mad at god and inner promised him something.
Will keep sharing my notes on OCD, as well as things I learn from therapy. We got this together guys❤️ love you all! Stay strong :)
i’ve had rocd for about two years and the thoughts used to absolutely terrify me and that was my way of proving i still loved him because the thoughts scared me so much. i just saw something saying if you’re still worried about the thoughts then that means you still love your partner. at this point i’ve suffered so long that i don’t have that much of a reaction to the thoughts anymore and i feel so completely numb to them and i don’t freak out and that in turn freaks me out that now i really don’t love him anymore because the thoughts aren’t causing me as much anxiety.
does anybody else's ocd get better around ovulation and worse around period? or am i just bi in denial with PMDD?
A big compulsion of mine is constantly telling myself to shut up (you know my thoughts) and I’ve tried to not let myself do that and let the thoughts just be and not follow them. The crazy thing is I had immediate relief but at the dame time it’s so hard. IT DOESNT ADD UP
I’m so scared. I keep obsessing over the same question “what if I don’t truly love my boyfriend?” And it’s causing so much distress and I just keep thinking what if I truly don’t love him and I’m just in denial but If I didn’t love him would it be causing me this much sadness? UGH I’m just trying to enjoy my vacation but I’m depressed because of this thought
I'm feeling guilty about something I've been avoiding due to my contamination OCD. A friend left a very thoughtful gift basket on my doorstep months ago, and though I've opened it enough to peek (so I could thank her), I've avoided fully opening all of it because it's frankly too much work to sanitize each item. She's asked about it and I always have some silly excuse. I haven't told her about my OCD and I don't plan to share that with her for a variety of reasons. One day I will open the gifts, but each day that I don't do it I feel so guilty and unappreciative. I feel like I'm running out of excuses. Not sure what I'm looking for here, if anything. I guess I just needed a place to vent. Thank you to anyone who reads this.
Ocd is like a Chinese Finger Trap. It only traps you when you struggle with it, but once you learn how it works and start to relax, it will bind you no more. Never give up. Even in your darkest hour, you’ll shine.
Does the guilt that comes with pocd ever go away? Or is it always gonna be there
I feel like theres more to OCD, I don’t know how to explain it but this field of mental illness isn’t fully explored yet. ?
I'm not even gonna lie I'm scared about not caring about having friends! I just don't know I wanna cry about this because not only does it feel like I don't care it feels like I'm gonna end up losing myself and go crazy! :/ I'm just so confused and my head feels all over the place and heavy! I stopped taking care of myself too! I'm scared I don't know why but what if something wrong is going on with me I wanna be happy and be excited of friends but it doesn't feel like it!
Can’t stop myself from checking doorways, seriously considering moving my desk to face my door. Anybody else have this issue where they feel the need to assure safety even though it’s probably nothing?
Can pocd fit in the same category as pure ocd? I would feel much more comfortable telling my parents I have pure o instead of pocd
I feel bad for not texting back my friends I don't know I feel very guilty for not texting back I don't know why I don't text back Is it cause I'm always playing games, is the conversation not interesting enough? I don't know why I don't text back!! Is it okay to not wanna text back though? I know at one point I was very sad and cried when no one texted me but now I don't cry am I becoming a careless person?? Dang it :/
Has anyone ever had any personality or identity issues in the past? As far I can remember I had some in the back of my head. Im just worried bc gay people often say they felt different, and I have felt that. I mean I never liked guys though but now it feels like Im being attracted to their faces and I dont know If I want to or not. Its bugs and depresses me bc I feel that attraction more than girls. Few months ago I knew I didnt want it now I dont know at all
Me and my boyfriend have been talking about moving in together lately and my thoughts have not been nice… Feel like I’m going crazy yet again after doing so well for months
Went to the store today and I actually could do it!!! My compulsive starring and peripheral vision has decreased so much and it’s all because of this medication and the spry I’m doing!!!! Hoping I can soon get a job and get my life going! Feeling hopeful today!!!! 🥳🌺🐉
Hey I am having a hard time with POCD right now. Can anyone willing, please have me give u my number or whatever works and we can talk? I’m having an awful time. Maybe call or face time idk. I need someone who can relate. :((
Just had lunch with a female co worker and her girlfriend! I feel pretty drained but I’m glad I did it :)
I'm hanging out with my cousins next week, I might cancel. I'm scared I'm gonna hurt them.
I’m so scared of myself. How am I ever going to get through this. I don’t think I can. I feel awful all the time, as though I have multiple identities.
So apparently my dad’s girlfriend’s cousin is not straight. … Y a y Also, I’m playing a horror game and am hiding “in the closet.” Y A Y
Lately I’ve been feeling “loss” at any life change. Like I’m overly sensitive when I have to do something like move to a new place or sell a car. It’s like I feel the loss that I will not be able to ever live and experience that place or thing again. This is just an example, but it seems everything is affecting me this way lately. Is this a symptom of depression?
I’ve had some really great mental health days despite being really unwell but I can feel my mind trying to backslide! I’ve been practicing ERP in loads of normal everyday situations that became ridiculous triggers for me and now I’m sometimes not triggering my ocd is trying to get me to ruminate on why I’m not triggering!!🤯 Each time I’ve managed to stay in the uncertainty but whilst I’m feeling vulnerable and poorly how do I keep on track?
Hey guys, I really need some motivation to keep going right now. I have no hope that I could get better and I’m scared that I’ll have to live like this forever. And I’m too scared to get help.
My dear OCD people I’m curious about this. Do you guys get obsessed over the smallest things? For example, I’m trying to lose weight and I found out drinking 2 liters of water every day helps. And now I became obsessed to the fact that I HAVE to drink 2 liters of water every single day, and I can not drink less lmao
I can't fall asleep due to obsessive OCD thoughts, due to that I've been waking up at around 1pm. My school starts in less than a month and idk what to do. Any tips on how to sleep well??
Almost forgot how soothing it was, but watering plants while listening to some music always makes me feel more relaxed and calm. 🪴
I have this feeling with photos of myself if I don’t feel they’re 100% accurate, and the best way I can describe the feeling is like if you imagine you’re sending a message to someone and they only get half of it, and the whole message is important. And it’s like it might not matter to them but it matters to you that they get exactly what you meant to send them. Does that make sense to anyone?
I had my first therapy appointment today! My therapist gave me really good advice. She said to think of intrusive thoughts as the annoying kid in class, you don’t give them attention because if you do they will keep going.
When ever you get an intrusive thought and your fighting with your head is there always a "but ____" ? is that actually me or is it my ocd?
I just met with a nurse practitioner to talk about trying an SSRI. I have been to a psychologist for counseling who diagnosed me with OCD and made me feel super see. This new nurse practitioner seems super nice and thoughtful but I think she may have been skeptical of my OCD diagnosis because I don’t do as many “visible” compulsions I display more mental compulsions like reassurance, neutralizing, avoidance etc. I struggle sometimes because my life makes so much more sense to me in the context of OCD and I want to believe I truly have it
I just don't see how you could ever feel like yourself ever again after going through something so traumatic....not trying to be negative. Just how 😞
Anyone else feel physically ill from their intrusive thoughts?
Anyone had any success with ERP on Real Event OCD? Curious as to what success looks like. I guess when you have triggers for the event, they no longer cause anxiety and therefore don't need to do complusions.
Anybody feel like they have more negative thinking outside of their ocd since getting ocd?
Does anyone else's OCD get much worse during your period? Even if I know I'm not thinking very rationally it all feels so real. It's terrifying
I’ve got myself confused because I’ve got so many different thoughts and I don’t know which are true and if I get false feelings or not or which feelings are friendship and what attraction. I haven’t done Earp but I’ve just let the thoughts come in and they give me anxiety but this doesn’t make me feel content. What do I do?
How am I supposed to deal with the uncertainty with pocd? Saying “maybe maybe not” gives me so much guilt and I can’t go on knowing that I could be what I fear the most
Should i just accept that i may be bisexual? Im sick and tired of being confused and anxious
I had an intrusive thought that started of with “I want to….” but I DO NOT WANT the content that is happening. Is this normal? I cant stop thinking about it and it’s making me so so miserable. I don’t want to feel like this anymore.
I’ve just started going into an episode, and I was supposed to start grad school in a week, now I feel so terrible I don’t think I can handle it and should just stay home and heal. I’m very conflicted, I don’t trust myself to move out and live alone and handle this by myself :( I also feel so bad I don’t think I even deserve to go anymore.
I just started ERP and I’m so scared that being exposed is going to cause me to realize I’ve liked my obsessions all along and I’m going to have some revelation when doing ERP. And I don’t want that to happen.
just realized that i’ve been ruminating 😐, which caused a bunch of intrusive thoughts that have to do with my relationship. i hate this constant cycle.
Does anyone actually know WHY OCD is caused? I find it so frustrating that one day you can wake up and feel like your whole identity has gone? I just don’t understand.
“But if I do something, something bad is going to happen to me—“ “yep… a sea monster’s going to eat me…yep” “well—“ Decides to do the thing 🌊
Went to st Augustine with my bf and his fam. Was really wanting to have a good time but I can’t stop focusing on ANYTHING because I’m so focused on what’s occurring in my groin area. Everything is triggering me right now. I focus all attention on my groin no matter what I’m doing/thinking. Can’t even enjoy intimate moments with my bf because I’m constantly comparing groinal responses. Can’t take it anymore. I just want to live my life
Hi, guys. Any erp exercise ideas for a flea obsession? Running short on ideas here and could use some inspiration. I usually perform such compulsions as combing my cat, checking for specks of black or eggs, google what fleas look like whenever I see a bug, etc.
I feel like I’m in a really dark place with pocd. This dream I had ruined my whole day. I feel very alone.
i have been awake for 7-8 hours and still had not a single thought :( why? i thought this was ocd? but no thoughts and no anxiety?? just a couple months back i couldn't stop thinking about it, but now??? no thoughts?? no anxiety???
Anyone else have their brain jumping to conclusions about other people. It’s so annoying because you know them so well and have facts that is the opposite of what your brain is telling you.
Even though I'm fully vaccinated, and they are vaccinated, I'm very afraid of infecting family members with COVID. By not getting together with my pregnant sister, it's hard to know if this is an avoidance compulsion, or a smart safety move. Thanks for the support, everyone!
Does anyone else with SOOCD always feel like people are flirting with them? I try to answer it with maybe/maybe not in my head. I don’t enjoy it and it immediately spikes my stress and tries to send me into a rumination spiral. Like I’ve been complimented by my female fitness instructors or female coworkers and I freak out that they are trying to be flirtatious.
My bf told me something today that is now all I can think about. He told me not to read into it because it wasn’t how I thought it was, but I can’t shake it off. It’s hard when you literally have trauma and trust issues. It’s not easy. He’s always so understanding but all I could think about is how he thought telling me what he said today was ok. I’m seeing him literally tmm so idk how I’m going to handle this.
Anyone with real event OCD? Not looking for reassurance, just wondering what your typical ERP looked like for it and how it potentially reduced your anxiety?
Hi guys! Does anyone know it deliberately thinking about my intrusive thoughts is an appropriate exposure. Deliberately thinking about it and adding more detail to the thought….
What should I do if I start experience some symptoms of depression? Is that outside what NOCD is for? This is especially confusing because I’m not sure I feel sad.
Officially a month into therapy here and I have to say it has been LIFE CHANGING y’all! My therapist I work with has been such a blessing. Never in the last 20 years did I think I would be here, in this moment, where I am actually OKAY with the fact that I have OCD. Why, you may ask? Because I have been taught that I hold the power to make choices in life. I hold the power to move forward and be okay. I hold the power to feel hopeful. The greatest of all of this is that that there IS hope in all of it and where there is hope there is life ❤️. Be blessed y’all!!
I hate having dreams related to my themes. They feel so real and are so convincing that your themes must be true. I just wanted to actually have a good day today 😕
HAPPY FRIDAY Y’ALL ✌🏽 May today bring you peace and joy in some way or another; maybe a smile for yourself or seeing someone else smile OR both, but allow yourself to feel that joy ❤️. There is hope and there is healing!
i just showered and my my brain wanted to say it didn’t remember doing my conditioner like do it again. i did a little more but i know for a fact i did my shampoo and it’s saying do it all again. and i’m just imaging it coming back to me during the day and making me get in the shower to do it again
Happy Friday everyone! Here’s a question I have for today! What’s one place in the world you really want to travel and see one day?!
I’m just too tired to fight the thoughts anymore. I feel too fatigued in life. Ocd is a real energy drainer.
My intrusive thoughts come more as what if’s and “but you are” and stuff like that. Does that still count? :(
Hi, does anyone ever have moments where you feel like your ‘old self’ is returning? Then a trigger happens and it’s back to square one? X
This is the second time in a week I’ve had intrusive thoughts about being jealous of my friend and potentially talking to two guys. They don’t even feel intrusive and I’m scared why would I be jealous ???
Regardless of the fact that PMS is making me feel tired no matter how much I sleep, I wanted to share something that has helped me keep track of my ERP exercises better, now I do still log them on the app but I find noting them down in my notebook has helped me see how many ERPs I'm doing in one day and the dates I'm doing them also which just helps me do my ERP exercises better as I write down my thoughts/feelings I have during the exposures. I hope that helps someone, it's a small thing but its definitely helped me be more efficient in my ERP therapy.
distraction post: do y'all like reading books? and if yes than which book is your favourite?
Can intrusive thoughts be in the form of I want… even though you DO NOT want what the thought is?
sigh my ocd has grasped onto twenty different things rn and it’s hurting my brain to even think about i’m that tired of it it’s like mixing real events and mistakes with intrusive thoughts all the time and compulsions and ugh it’s so irritating
do your intrusive thoughts sound or come out the same way? at first they would sound like my inner voice but lightly in a way, now i say my intrusive thoughts so consciously and its brings me in this spiral as if that wasnt my intrusive thoughts and it was me. it sounds so real now
Hi everyone, this is my first time posting and my OCD diagnosis is fairly new. I guess I’m just wondering if self hatred/self loathing can drive self destructive compulsions? I’m still trying to make sense of my obsessions and compulsions, thanks :)
Does anyone know any other way to get help from a Therapist. I am struggling with OCD but I am currently in Canada so I can’t get a therapist on NOCD. Does anyone know of another way that’s not to pricey for me to get some guidance. That would be great!Thank you!
The mornings can be so hard because I wake up anxious!! The thoughts aren’t there yet but if they come then I know my day will be ruined so I don’t know what to do!!!
How tf am I supposed to deal with the uncertainty if it don’t feel like ocd this time 😕🙄
Hi everyone, I have a question regarding ERP.... I am currently in a situation where I try to do ERP, but the ERP I do turns into a checking compulsion and rumination etc.... Almost like the ERP turned into a compulsion rather than an ERP exercise.... Any advice on what to do in that kind of situation? Thanks!
Morning! I’m up super early today. Question of the day: What’s your favorite song? Mine is a tie between “Getaway Car” by Taylor Swift, and “You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” by the Offspring.
Has anyone here had an MRI scan? Due to how severe my OCD is my psychiatrist requested it. I'm very nervous about the results
Just had a big fight with our daughter tonight who has severe ocd. She spent the day home from school but spent most of it sleeping /ruminating with blinds down in her room. She hates herself and can’t focus on homework. She won’t go to therapy. It got so bad tonight that we gave her an ultimatum- hospital or a therapy session. Not sure if this is the right thing to do but it is affecting our whole family and we just want to see her better and I can’t understand why she won’t seek help!