How do you decide with whom/when/how much you share about your OCD? I haven't shared with one of my friends, as she has had less-than-supportive responses when I've shared other medical/mental health things with her. She recently made some comments about OCD (you know the ones - "I love to plan and organize. I'm so OCD."). When reading her texts I was seething, as those sorts of comments are so diminishing and hurtful. I know that she doesn't mean harm by these things, so part of me wants to tell her how I've been battling OCD (the real kind, not the kind that likes to color coordinate socks) for the past year. I want to explain why "I'm so OCD" makes me so freaking angry. But if I do this, I take the risk of her not supporting me in the way I would expect. I take the risk of her thinking "What's the big deal. We're all a little OCD." Is it worth it, or do I just go on and try to ignore those comments? What experiences (positive and negative) have you all had when sharing about your OCD with others?
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Anyone else feel like this can’t be OCD anymore? I’m finding people I don’t wanna find attractive, attractive and having these weird thoughts. It just doesn’t feel like OCD bc I can live like nothing is wrong and feel like nothing is wrong but have these constant thoughts that I’m gay. I feel so hopeless.
Oh my GOOOOOD!!!!! I just remembered how I used to snoop through my brothers phone and read some of his messages. I even I’m used to look through his gallery when I felt he was hiding secrets, and was sneaking out tower some girls. I’m such a bad person. I keep remembering all the terrible and down right disrespectful things I’ve done. I’m a vile and grotesque human being. I was probably snooping hoping to find something gross. I hate myself, I don’t know how I ever get like I was a decent person. I truly hate myself, I’m filth incarnate. There are real sick people on here (and by sick I mean people who actually have OCD) and then there’s me, just the horrible human being. I really should isolate myself from the world.
Last night I was comparing intimate scenarios in my head and it keeps feeling like I truly wanted to and additionally I had thoughts like because my own body parts are soft (chest) objectively so would another woman’s which felt like it would be good but I don’t want that at all and it felt like I would be curious about what it’d be like to touch another woman’s chest but again I don’t want to. And when I imagined a scenario with a friend it felt the same as when I compulsively try to imagine scenarios with my boyfriend because of how badly I want to be able to enjoy those things with him. So just numb really and sad, except I want to do those things with my partner but not another girl. I think this is truly denial, no one else has thoughts about it actually being nice and actually enjoyable / curious even though it used to make me so uncomfortable. I ache to be near my partner, not another woman even if I am bi whatever that’s fine but I just want to feel something for my partner again in that aspect without questioning everything
what are some ocd mantras that help you out ??
Accepting the thoughts doesn't mean that you agree with them! You don't have to defend or explain yourself to ocd, nor do you have to convince it that something bad won't happen. You're allowed to just relax as it lingers in the background trying its best to get your attention. It feels impossible to ignore but it isn't, i promise that its ok to give up the internal fight and move forward in your recovery journey ~ × https://youtu.be/ciRMHXbUrl0 × https://youtu.be/qhKmY1IeFf8
I‘m currently obsessed with noticing the voice in my head when I’m reading or writing something( like now) it bothers me because I have never noticed that and I guess i’ve never had that (?) Could that be something similiar to sensorimotor OCD? And does anyone has tips to stop „noticing“ it.
For HOCD, did therapy give you your attraction back? My anxiety is relatively low coming off of a really bad week, but even with my anxiety low, my attraction is still very limited. Is this something therapy could help with, or do I just need to accept this lowered attraction as part of my new normal?
I feel like a whole new person. I want me back. I miss her and I grieve and cry every night.
Is it just me or a side effect of ocd is being sensitive? I’ve felt hyper sensitive this week, idk if its like a form of scrupulosity or smthn. And its leading to people pleasing too bc i feel like im hurting ppl if i say no or dont put in effort. So in person, i feel like i give off anxious energy or people please on compulsion. Always scared of negative attention or criticism
how to not do confessingish compulsion so as you may know from my post a year ago i did something which real event is attacking at the time i remember my mom saying "did you ***" she said what i did but i was like "what the heck" then she said she was joking but ocd wont believe it 4 years later my OCD is telling me to tell her that i didnt do that it wont believe that it's a joke because its your coincidental for her to make a joke about something i actually did
Relationship OCD is taking over my life and ruining my relationship. Has anyone been through something similar? Looking for advice/support as I am really struggling right now. After months of constant doubts regarding my partner of 4 years and our relationship, I decided to leave him and take a break for right now. I am so sad because I love him so much and we have a great relationship overall. However, my nonstop thoughts about whether we are sexually compatible were getting to be too much. I believe my perceived “need” for sex may also be partially OCD related. I do have a very high sex drive and feel as though I need to have sex every day or ideally at least 4-5x per week in order to feel good and improve my mood. I mean, I know sex makes everyone feel good. But I feel like I can’t be truly happy unless I am in a relationship where I have sex very frequently. I keep track of how many times per week/month I have sex and get upset when I see it hasn’t been a lot. I am unable to distinguish whether I just have a very high sex drive or whether this is anxiety/ocd driven, but I think it’s both. I get very anxious as the day goes on and my partner still has not initiated sex. I become frustrated with him and resentful. He can sense my anxiety and frustration which turns him off even more, which makes sex even less frequent and thus makes me feel even worse. It really is a vicious cycle. This is the reason I decided to leave. I feel as though he is just not sexual enough for me. Other than the sex issue, our relationship is good. I am paralyzed by the fear of making the wrong choice either way. I’m terrified of losing the man I love over something that may just be an aspect of my OCD. But I am also terrified of staying in a relationship where I am never sexually satisfied. I am unable to distinguish what is real and what is just my OCD. It feels horrible to live like this.
Dating ocd HI! I'm so sorry for venting here... I have no one to talk to about this... I don't even know this is ocd or not! I just feel so guilty after. I need a friend. Just someone to talk to. I have horrible thoughts about my girlfriend. Sometimes that I should find someone better. Others is like "you don't love her" And I hate them. I always regret them. But sometimes I just wonder if we are compatible (we are) and my brain says no. And then... It's just a mess of thoughts.... Basically I have horrible thoughts and I feel like I don't deserve her. Sometimes I cry so hard knowing she deserves better but I don't want to lose her... I keep telling myself "it's just thoughts. You didnt do anything wrong" but I can't forgive myself. She deserves better. I'm so lucky to have her... She's really wonderful to me and cares about me. I'm so sorry... Please don't hate me...
Does anyone else ever feel, like just not good at all? It’s hard to explain. It’s a weird, but awful feeling in my stomach and a headache, and weird sensation behind my eyes. I thought it could be depersonalization/derealization but it doesn’t seem to be the case anymore. It’s mostly like this when I’m having intrusive thoughts or even when I’m not, like the anxiety is gone but now it’s back yet I can’t feel it anymore so it’s a new feeling. Also, I can’t stop obsessing about my future and if I can even have one. A lot of my friends from high school and family are moving on with their life, getting married, graduating or even returning to school, buying homes or moving out, all the while I’m stuck in my room most of the time. Can anyone else relate?
Help I’m freaking out!! I saw dog poo around me on the street and I thought that I probably stepped on it but nothing actually stuck to my shoes so I went into my house as usual , and then thought maybe there was a trace of bacteria and it’s all round my carpet should I be worried
anyone else have relatively low levels of anxiety but just a lot of patterned thoughts and what i would kinda call “though survielance” where you kinda spend an excessive amount of time checking in with urself ab ur own thoughts?
Live your life, take every chance you want to take in order to get closer to your dreams and goals and healthy ambitions, don't let ocd or feelings decide for you, anxiety and intrusive thoughts will be there but what's new? Nothing ever changed with compulsions or fear, be courageous and live, make mistakes,learn from them and live! God loves you
My OCD has definitely been stronger this week and it’s all surrounding my relationship. It keeps playing on the fear that I’m bored of my boyfriend and that I want to break up with him and I don’t love him anymore. It feels so real and it’s distressing and frustrating but I know it’s my OCD and I’m trying to play into the uncertainty and do my ERP techniques. It’s been a little more challenging this week and I’m feeling upset but I’m trying to let it not get the best of me.
Somewhere on here I mentioned that i talk to myself alot, and that sometimes I talk to other people without names, just wanting to get someone to answer me back. Well, when you do that, you can make yourself crazy because you might make yourself angry. So much that you don't want to talk to yourself anymore. Now however, I have a Great Someone I talk out loud to about my problems. He doesn't judge me, He just let's me talk, and I end up realizing where my problem lies. Never do I go away angry, nor does He. He is always forgiving, and never misleads me. And He is always there for me 24/7. My Great Someone is God. He is helping me through this journey as well. The depression, anxiety, and OCD are tough, but God is tougher. I will get through this. With God, all things are Possible.. Have a great day my friends, and believe God is in Control.
Is harm ocd mainly about trusting yourself? Just saying screw it , what ever happens happens? And just trusting your not going to do these terrible things your mind is saying? I mean I’m 27 and never have I even wanted to kill / hurt someone for no reason not even out of anger, so should I let go? And just let whatever happens happen?
Can you give me an example of thought suppression? Trigger warning: For example i'm watching a movie and i found an actor attractive then an intrusive thought pops up, What if i'm attracted to him? So what would be the thought suppresion here because i wanna know so i can learn to not respond compulsively
I have consumed so much different information on attraction and love and intimacy etc from places I really shouldn’t be looking and I’ve made myself extremely extremely confused to where I feel completely lost. I compulsively compare myself to things I read online to see if I feel the same way and then later I subconsciously compare those things again or get intrusive thoughts about the thing I don’t want. I may have also overly complexed certain emotions or be unintentionally exaggerating on them because I’m so desperate to figure out what they mean. This is the most real/confusing it has ever ever felt and I’m not even sure it’s ocd anymore. Has anyone else ever done this to where they feel genuinely confused and completely unsure of their feelings while also completely numb to anything positive? Almost like I’m living through my fears and seeing/feeling nothing else. I have a headache just typing this
Does anyone else’s OCD convince them they have a crush on people even if they’re already committed in a LTR? I find that I can’t even talk to anyone of the opposite sex that I find good looking without feeling guilty about it because I will get intrusive thoughts about them/what it would like to be with the Etc which will make me overthink situations in which I thought I was flirting (even though I wasn’t) and I will keep overthinking my feelings and it all makes me super anxious because I do NOT want a crush at all but even thinking about someone else while in a LTR cause guilt shame and extreme anxiety for me so it only makes me think about the situation EVEN MORE which has me convinced I have a crush when I just want the thoughts to go away lol. This is not seeking reassurance I just want advice if someone else overcame this fear etc
I hate when i’m going through it I get disconnected from my boyfriend. I get annoyed easily and just shut off. Its super upsetting because I don’t want to have the bad thoughts and feelings. I know that ocd is playing tricks on me. Its the emotions that throw me off. I literally cried to him last night about how uncomfortable my thoughts make me and that I don’t want to do anything my brain is telling me to do like leave or that I hate him. I know in reality I don’t want to and thats what makes it so hard.
One of the intrusive thoughts that I always get is that my friends don't want me around or don't want to talk to me. If a friend of mine hasn't responded to me in some time, I have thoughts that they are trying to avoid talking to me. I know logically that it isn't true, but I get an urge to send them more messages. Most of the time the new messages are just things I wanted to tell them anyway, but I think they might also be almost like a compulsion to test if they will respond. I don't know if any of you have any ideas about this, but how would I do ERP with this? I mean I want to talk to them but I also don't know if I should message them as I have been.
so i’ve overcome my sexual orientation ocd. the issue is i don’t feel turned on down there ever anymore. like i will mentally. but i never feel anything anymore physically. is this normal? how do i get rid of it? i feel broken
‼️ MY RECOVERY SUCCESS STORY ‼️ (trigger warning ; mentions of a new identity) I started having OCD flareups at age 13, of June 2020, when I started identifying as a lesbian pretty early. I didn’t want to lie to myself since, well, being a lesbian is a pretty big part of anyone’s identity. For the first month or so, I would just console myself by looking at pictures of men, reassuring myself by going through scenarios, on and so forth. However, it escalated to me writing down on my notes app why I’m not attracted to men anytime an intrusive though came up- causing over 200 notes per day and hours of writing, stress, and crying. In August of 2020, I tried recovery- but it was only to get the thoughts to stop- I thought if I lied about uncertainty, and half-assed my self made ERP, it would go away. However, it only got worse. In January, February, and March of 2021, I cried so hard that my skin was always swollen and my friends described me as “looking like I’ve been on drugs”. I lost my hobbies a long time ago, but I lost my friends too. My mother didn’t know how to help me. Over the summer, I lost vacations and times with families crying and crying, and it ended a “relationship” because they couldn’t handle me. In August again, I tried recovery- but in a new way. I truly accepted uncertainty. I never did any long exposures at all, I just let myself because who I was afraid of. And that’s when I started healing. I started to have a crush on a boy (+ it’s the same boy I like to this day, who as of right now likes me back <3) I re-came out as unlabeled, or bi, and it was the easiest part of my journey. Now, uncertainty is no issue! I typically don’t see myself attracted to men sexually, but maybe I do- I’m so young, I have time ahead of me! Now, I’m fixing everything back up. Including my mountain bike racing, my friends, my new school, and my academics. Tomorrow will be my fifteenth birthday. I am a recovered survivor of OCD.
Hello <3 I’m back ! It’s been a couple of months- but in those months, I’ve recovered completely from sexual orientation OCD. Since my fifteenth birthday is tomorrow, I reflected and realized I want to come back and help others- so I’ll share my success story, and things I learned in another post- feel free to ask any questions :)
Just need a little help.. i am lost ..So i saw a movie trailer today about these two guys falling in love and this one guy coming close to the other and the other one goes like all love eyes and then i just thought what if that happens to me?! Would i give in to it?! And its specially not helpful with the dreams i get where i might find a girl hot or pretty and be okay to do something with her?!? Will i be?!? Why would i be?!? Just the thought that i would be says a lot doesn’t it?!? Whatever one says what if it is like this what do i tell myself then?!? This life has been a lie and hocd is what i am calling it?!?I might i might not?!? But just saying i might means there is part of me thats okay with it might even want it so all this is a lie right?!? And writing all this just a forced compulsion to reassure myself i am so sick and tired of myself i feel like i am living a lie and this feeling is too too strong what do i do?! Also am i more interested in watching movies with lgbtq themes and not the ones i liked better if i am and i might be then what does that mean and why do i always use the word might?!? It could be another form of denial and why do i highly feel i am in it?!? Also am i scared of being in denial cause with hocd one should be and if i am not cause I don’t think so then what do I accept it?!? What do i do?!! These thoughts are always there like a part of me what do i do?!
Tonight I did a number of activities that were kind of accidental exposures, and I’m really proud of myself for how I did. I was with my female friends for our weekly hangout/movie night, and it’s the first time in ages that we’ve all been together in one place. We watched Dirty Dancing, which is a very sensual movie, and I was mostly able to sit with the discomfort and the questioning thoughts. I was able to look at the female characters’ bodies, and I was able to move forward without ruminating too much. I still felt uncomfortable at times, but I sat through it. I had a great time, and afterwards we put on music and danced for almost two hours just having a great time in the living room. Some of my friends did some slightly sensual dancing, and while I could feel my OCD tapping me on the shoulder I was able to ignore it and have a great night. Now that I’m home I can feel the temptation to start ruminating, but instead I’m going to play Animal Crossing and go to bed. Even though I have this disorder, I can still go out and do things that are meaningful to me.
Tw soocd I am spiraling again. Back to watching videos „how to know if you’re gay“, checking attraction, ruminating. I feel like I have known all along and just don’t want to admit the truth. Like I am lying to myself and everyone. I feel like I have to watch these videos but also I don’t want to because I am so so scared of hearing points that resonate with me and then being unable to say I am not gay.
Guys do you ever feel like you’re too far gone, too deep into this particular fear? I know for a fact that I have been doing so much better but then… I still feel like there is this invisible line I must not cross, but I already have. Because sometimes I am so fed up with everything I just let it go and, for that moment, I‘m not even afraid anymore. I‘m agreeing with the thoughts or thinking ‚okay, whatever.‘ and I know that’s GOOD but aaaaaahhhh not going after the what if what if what if is the hardest thing I have ever done and it’s so so freaking scary
Hello people! Please tell me how do you accept your ocd? I have been well for a long now and the scariest things for me are the relapses, not thoughts. Right now i feel very bad because i had a relapse and im scared that my whole life will be like this. How do you act when your ocd is trying to come back?
This confuses me so much…Other thoughts knowing irrational shove them away these thoughts why can’t i they don’t feel irrational when they are supposed to and if they don’t that would mean song right?!? Because I don’t pay attention to the other thoughts because i know they are irrational but i do to these cause thats what i want?!? Ughh and i compare and it feels these thoughts are natural and i am just giving it the name of hocd and complicating it?! Am i?! I write this am i also cause if a forced compulsion idk?!? I am tired but do i want this to end?! Do i just fake it?!? The feeling the arousal how am I supposed to know its not true when it feels so true is it?!? What do i tell myself?!?
The thoughts about going crazy feel to real right now. My anxiety is really high my head feels like it running a thousand miles and hour and the intrusive thoughts of what if I get psychosis or hear voices or lose control or even act in a crazy matter. It feels very real like I’m going to go crazy. This is a new theme I’ve been dealing with and it’s very hard for me to sit with this uncertainty. Do You guys have any advice?
I can’t take this… I really don’t feel like I wanna stay with my partner…. I don’t get intrusive thoughts as much as I use to like i did in the beginning…. How how can love be a choice!? When you feel like you really don’t want them anymore or you’re seriously might end up being jn denial! I love him I know I love him even though it truly doesn’t feel that way. I did a lot of damage to myself. My relationship is healthy and sure every relationship has it’s problems.. but my never had enough to where I’d wanna leave! I have my period too right now so that doesn’t help. I am self sabotaging everything believing he might not love me anymore even though he tells me he loves me and doesn’t wanna leave. Been self sabotaging thinking he’ll leave me eventually too for someone else.. been worried we don’t have nothing in common… I just can’t take it anymore….. I got so mad at him yesterday for no reason… my period is hitting me hard this time not giving me a break… but my ROCD and constantly feeling like I don’t love him at all has fucked me up… I use to be so close to him…. 😖 The only time I felt in love at all was the night before Halloween and I was so happy and confident in my feelings! I told him I am happy for once and that I love him… now it all felt like a lie! My relationship doesn’t feel like it’ll go back to normal if I get help or not… It’s like I found my truth but don’t wanna face it!! Please how can this be ROCD if the intrusive thoughts have calmed down!!??!!!!!!
My ocd has just been so annoying recently it’s starting to make me mad. I’m just so over it at this point. And there’s no way to ever make it go away. I know how to handle it but at the same time I’m still bothered by all the thoughts because my ocd can’t comprehend not being bothered by them. I don’t know how to not care. :( I didn’t at some point but I have to be so extremely busy where I didn’t even have time to think about it. Advice would be appreciated
I’m exhausted and so done with analyzing every sexual encounter with my fiancé. My thoughts are there during and after. I then Google after which I know isn’t good. I now have the thought that he thinks I am a lesbian because intimacy is so hard for me. I have never been a very sexual person so of course my mind goes to “welll a lot of late to lesbians said this too”
What do u do when ur having hand to want combat and you get these thoughts ? Stop or Continue
A few weeks ago I read the book EVERY LAST WORD by Tamara Ireland Stone. It’s about a 16 year older girl with OCD. I loved it and recommend it to any of my fellow OCD sufferers who want to know they aren’t alone!
With intrusive thoughts…I know I’ve read a few things on dealing with them.. mainly, naming the thought and sorta saying “this is ocd, not me”…and then I’ve heard to try to sit with the thought, doing nothing, just letting it be there.. now are those conflicting..? is naming it and saying like ‘this isn’t reality’ actually doing something or are they complimentary? How to utilize both of these techniques?
I’m just scared all the time. Surely I shouldn’t be able to relate to videos about LGBTQ+ people if I’m not. I don’t want to be with women but what if deep down I do. There are so many signs throughout my life. Times where I have thought about the same sex. I don’t want this. I love my boyfriend. I’m scared. I’m sorry. I need to vent.
Have any of you learned to personify your OCD? I recently read Is Fred in the Refrigerator and I loved her examples.
Happy Sunday y’all! My therapist suggested that I “name” my ocd to help further separate it from my identity. I was thinking Karen? Lol. Seems appropriate as an overbearing “friend” who thinks they know everything. Does anyone else do this? And if so, what are the names you have chosen?
I've had OCD for over 20 years and 2 years ago I got PTSD. It really made my OCD through the roof, bed bound at times and unable to work. Yall dig deep and do ERP, it is sooo worth it! Also OCD made me afraid to do EMDR for my PTSD. I'm on my 4th session of EMDR and while it brings it's challenges, it has changed my life. That part of ME that was missing from me has been restored and so much peace and less fear. Yall be brave! It is worth it and you have nothing to lose and everything to gain!
Look I probably haven’t got ocd I suffer from sexuality ocd but I have a lot of arousal to what I fear which is being gay I feel arousal whenever I see a man now
Ok now my ocd has moved from fear of npd to hpd love it
Anyone has confession OCD? Like you feel you have to confess to someone you had bad thoughts about or accidentally did bad things that’s related to that person. I think I got this because my ex bf used to be abusive and interrogated me about every detail of my previous relationship which really scared the shit out of me and since then I kinda got addicted to the feeling of relief after confessing and the target person moved from my boyfriend to friends and even family members. It really depressed me because I have intrusive bad thoughts that I don’t want to share with them but then this compulsion will appear. I read it’s a loop if I do confess because then I’ll find something else to confess, which I think is true. Just wanted to know I’m not alone with this.
What would ERP involve for sexually intrusive sensations and images about family members? I am often just anticipating a thought to come and then get certain images and sensations and feel that my body has been contaminated with them. I don’t think I necessarily shut them out but I also try not to focus on them because it makes it seem like I’m indulging in it
Does anyone have a good day with little ocd and anxiety, but then feel weird ? Like you feel like something is missing or you feel like you’re not “yourself” ?? I mean sometimes I get random bursts of ocd and anxiety throughout the day, but I’m usually able to brush it off somewhat easier now I’m scared of typing this out and posting it bc I don’t want this to sike myself out and then get an ocd attack bc I can feel it creeping up on me
Help please: advice needed So I was going through some old Instagram posts from 2012 and I noticed that on a picture of my cousin and I some girl I kinda had a thing with (never actually hooked up with or met in real life) commented on it. I knew that I didn’t follow her because I don’t follow anyone that I ever had a thing with but “I wonder if her account is private” came to my mind. I clicked it and saw that it was public and then immediately left her page. I didn’t click any picture or scroll or anything. I was literally there for less than 2 seconds but I feel guilty for even being on her page and I feel like a horrible husband. I don’t know if this is something I should confess to my wife or not.
Does anyone else’s OCD come in intrusive thoughts about going crazy. Mine are weird sometimes I question if I’m actually crazy. I get intrusive thoughts about me acting like a child, losing it at any moment, and just be being a mentally crazed person. I get a lot of anxiety when this happens because it feels so real. When this happens I get hyper aware of my movement and my actions. Everything that I do oCd taints ad validation of that’s what a crazy person acts like. For example I was fine today until I started talking to my family. I felt happy but then OCD told me that this is only a sign that I am or going crazy. I also suffer from ocd about getting other mental disorders. I often question if I have split personalities and am a different person. This scares me because I suffer from harm ocd and suicidal ocd so I believe that if I am or not going crazy then I can do things to harm others or even harm myself and that truly scares me. How do I sit with the discomfort when I feels like I am actually crazy and then I feel sadness and guilt because I don’t want to trouble my parents if I’m actually crazy or guilt that how someone who looked up to life and had dream all of a sudden turned into a maniac. What also fuels to these intrusive thoughts is when I feel depersonalized. For a couple a days I feel disconnected to myself and I don’t remember what being me feels like me anymore. When I don’t have these episodes I usually fear then and then they come back how do I get past that fear of these thoughts coming back.
I just wanted to say a BIG THANK YOU to this group. Last week I didn't want to be here.....I am in the UK and I got calls from this group to make sure I was ok and my therapist called me and Dr McGrath helped too. Thank you so much. I have done my erp for the last two days and am finding it very hard but I know if I persevere I will get better. This disorder is the cruelest of mental health conditions and makes you feel like such a horrible person. I am NOT and never will be bad or evil person even though right at this moment the OCD is saying I am. I am kind and caring and have a mental health disorder that causes me to have intrusive thoughts that upset me so much. Just because I have told people who I thought were like family makes no difference..... it is only since they fell out with me over Covid that these OCD thoughts have come in.....I have never thought this way about these people before but the OCD has latched onto this insecurity and the fact I can't get reassurance anymore. I WILL get over this episode and it is all thanks to this site. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your genuine concern and kindness. I will persevere with the erp even though it has been conjurung up all sorts of thoughts today. Thank you, just thank you xx
Hi guys I’m freaking out again! I was making cookies for my boyfriend and family and I was taste testing the batter. I a chip that was in my mouth fell into the batter. I’m really worried because of my previous post. The previous post were about how I didn’t realize the toilet paper was sitting on top of dried up blood and I’m really worried about having HIV or any other worst possible disease. So when it fell back into the bowl I got the thought of what if I give my boyfriend and family HIV if I bake them the cookies and eat it. I realize that I used my finger to taste test the batter so it probably has my saliva on it. I’m scared of giving it to them. I haven’t baked them yet it’s in the fridge cooling. I feel like throwing away the batter :( idk what to do because I was really excited to make cookies but now they are tainted
When do you guys use “that thought is irrelevant” vs “maybe, maybe not”? So confused
Now that my wife is pregnant with our first child and we’re looking to purchase a home together, my cheating ocd is creeping back in. Thoughts like “you don’t deserve this if you cheated” and “what if you cheated and don’t remember and it comes to light and your wife and daughter hate you” have been running through my mind like crazy. I don’t remember actually cheating on my wife but my memory is really bad and I’m scared that I may have suppressed a memory.
I am so torn between reality and whats not reality I don’t know how to put this but i was watching a show and i kept unintentionally noticing this girl who is pretty and then i was like after a while of that and not noticing the other hot boys i was why was i constantly noticing her what is it?!? And this thought didn’t cause me anxiety and i was like why is that and that didn’t too?!? Its like these thoughts are always just there and like any other person who would be bi would get these when they see someone pretty just like i did so what does that mean?!? The thoughts came felt real and went away but were there idk how to say it like i didn’t pay attention?!? I don’t know what to do all this above say that i am in denial and running away from something and i too believe it and if I believe in something so strongly that could be true right?!? Is this hocd with false attraction or i just said that cause thats easier its like i say all this forcefully when i know the truth is something else?! Do i?!? What id all of it is true?!? Is hocd doing this to me?! Or i am just running away and living a lie?!
TRIGGER WARNING- suicidal thought mention! Specifically as a result of an OCD episode - Hey folks! I wanted to share that recently I have been recovering from a contamination OCD episode, and I am very proud of myself for surviving what happened. I realized looking at it as this “I can’t believe I got that bad” was only making me miserable, so, Instead I am telling myself, I am thankful I survived, and that I was able to call my therapist and have her help me. I was convinced I was contaminated, and my only option was to die, and she helped me come down from being convinced of that.
Hi Guys, If you begin to stop giving a type of OCD power, is it normal to feel like you are "proving the OCD right" by not doing the compulsions?
You are the one who is aware of your thoughts. This is a completely different way of framing reality than believing you are the content of the thoughts themselves. - the mindfulness workbook for ocd.
I feel like a monster. These thoughts feel so real especially since there linked to real events. I feel the responses I get to them isn't ocd which scares me.. the stupid butterflies ( the ones you'd get when someone you like walks in the room.. exicted butterflies) and it makes me sick. I don't wanna be here anymore.
For anybody going through a hard time regardless of your sub type or regardless of your mental health struggle. I truly recommend watching “Hector and The Search for Happiness”. I have seen this movie before and it gives me chills, anxiety, fear, and happiness. It truly is a good ERP tool. It’s helped me in many ways tonight. It really gives me hope for a future I want so badly. I know everyone on this app has a glimmer of light in there dark cave and I can promise you this movie will make that light shine brighter. It puts things in perspective and can really make all your emotions spill out and you can identify each emotion for what they are. My OCD and Depression itself tried its absolute hardest to make me want to avoid this movie. However, when you can truly release all the pent up anxiety, fear, and sadness you feel it will help you. I love you all and we will get through this. Much love💗
I just can’t feel like a good person. My therapist asked me if I ever feel like a good person and I said no, I either feel like a bad person or a neutral person.. but never a good person.
I'm starting to feel normal again. Everytime an intrusive thought appears I can see it for what it is really, a stupid and irrational thought. I feel serene. I know this feeling is temporary, I know OCD will struck me again, but it makes me hopeful for the future.
my little sister is starting to date this girl and she is sleeping over and i think smth will happen. i usually talk with my mom about my fears around being gay but my sister doesn’t want me to which is completely valid. i love her and i just want her to be happy, but this causes me tremendous anxiety, which then leads to guilt and a fear that i have prejudices or judgements. i NEVER wanna be like that. that to me would be worse than my anxieties being true — me having oppressive ideas. it’s a huge trigger for me though and idk what to do bc now i cant stop having intrusive thoughts. they are worse then they have been in a while and i am now convinced. even though the last couple days i had been somewhat more free from intense anxiety. im so worried also that this is a sign that i have internalized prejudice which causes me to deny my truth…
My grandma let me stay home from school today because I’ve been doing really bad and I had an upset stomach so I was stuck in the restroom but I completely forgot we had a test for band and a football game (season ended, it’s like an extra game) so I’m getting 3 zeros and I feel super anxious/guilty for not going now. But at the same time, I am struggling terribly to keep up. I’m in band, the math team, high q and academic decathlon. Additionally, I’m in calculus , an AP course which is also very time consuming and demanding. I have meetings for one of the clubs every day. So I usually get home around 5 or 6 depending on the day and then I spend an hour trying to do my calculus homework that I’m really not understanding, I shower and eat and then get maybe 2 hours to myself before I have to go to sleep and do it all over again the next day. My calculus/math team teacher is disappointed in me because of my low grade but I really do try. I don’t study every day like she wants me to, but I squeeze in when I can and I show up the mornings that I need help and stay for her math practice for two hours. My band teacher’s try to be understanding which is why I feel guilty and on Tuesday’s I have sectionals but I can’t go because I have math team practice and my math team teacher said if I go and miss practice more than once she’ll kick me off the team. My academic decathlon teacher is the biggest sweetheart ever and always so understanding but if I decide to go to his meetings I miss out on practicing my clarinet so that my band director isn’t upset. (I’m first chair in his top band). Weekends are the Only time I have off and that was only recently , when marching season was going on a few weeks ago I had competitions every Saturday. I’m also supposed to be applying to colleges but I’m struggling to find the motivation for anything. And while all this is going on, my home life is a mess. My sister struggles severely with depression and has even been diagnosed with psychotic tendencies. It makes me so anxious/upset/hurt and frustrated when she threatens my family. She’s constantly in and out of the mental hospital and always takes my stuff without asking and leaves glue/paint all over it. My grandparents are very stubborn and see things the way they want , which means they have a lot of misconceptions about mental health that don’t make it any easier on my sister and I. My mom I only see every couple of days and let’s just say my relationship with her isn’t the best and she also has her own problems going on. My relationship is long distance too which is very difficult but my partner is so supportive and loving which helps me so much and the fact that we’re long distance means I have time to myself which is good because of how busy I am but sometimes I miss his presence so much. But worst of all is that underneath everything I am struggling so much with my ocd. It doesn’t even feel ocd some days. Everyday in band, in calculus, at football games, in the restroom at school I’m just ruminating and googling, having intrusive thoughts/urges about sexual orientation ocd. Everyday I grieve for the girl I used to be and I grieve for the love and attraction I had for my beautiful boyfriend who I really want to marry one day but I feel doomed to become something I don’t want to be. Those thoughts are what drains the life out of me, the reason I don’t want to go to school or enjoy my extracurricular actives , the reason I don’t study as much or read as much. Because I feel so sad to have my identity compromised , to have to stolen from me. To feel less than I am, to feel unworthy of the love I receive. To wonder if there is something wrong with me, that hurts me more than anything. That was just a large vent I needed to put out there
When it's that time of the month and you have OCD any coping strategies? I go bonkers with PMS.
Are there any books you guys would recommend on OCD, particularly ones that talk about mental compulsions? Thanks!
Does anyone find themselves kind of being desensitized to taboo subjects. Like with my pocd and a lot of other sexual intrusive thoughts, things like r*pe and other stuff is just so ingrained into my brain that when I hear about it now, I know longer feel shocked or truly disgusted. My OCD has high jacked it and now it just gives me intrusive thoughts and images, and groinal responses are the worst. I’ve been so depressed, I hate myself so much, and I can’t talk to a lot of people about this because of the ignorance and stigma that’s been put around OCD and intrusive things, I’m just happy that the people I care about the most understand me and still care about me.
TW* Feel like Ill still be gay even after recovery. There really is no way out, actually feel like sometimes Im having a strong desire to act on them. These thoughts have definitely changed something in me. And if these thoughts came true then my other thoughts are probably real too. Theres a ton of proof from my past, im completely cornered.
I have deal with mental illness since I was 9. I never had friends and I recently have to cut out things with almost every member of my family because they are horrible. And this past weeks I been feeling really alone, and I know it's a feeling that pass and that's true. But still there because I really don't have friends.
Does anyone just spend all their time sitting around. Like I have online school but I always end up doing the assignments last minute and for the majority of the week, I just sit around my house scrolling through my phone to avoid sitting with my thoughts. I just do my chores and even that’s difficult since I and up thinking and ruminating a lot. I always need to have some sort of background noise or something to distract me from my thoughts. I’m so depressed, I have no ambition or motivation to do anything. I’m gonna be making the entire dinner for thanksgiving this year so I’m trying to get excited for that, but I don’t know. I’m just existing at this point.
A relapse isn’t starting over, it’s showing your OCD how far you’ve come.
Can anyone give any advice on how long it usually takes for medication to settle once upping a dosage. I currently take citalopram 30mg having upped my dosage exactly 3 weeks ago from 20mg. I had some good days last week but feel as though I have slipped back into old habits and wondered whether that is the medication as I was given no indication as to how long medication takes to settle after increasing my dosage. Any advice would be much appreciated.
I literally feel like I can’t be with my husband of almost 18 yrs anymore. I have feelings I should leave him day and night, 24/7 which are torturous. My psychiatrist said he should leave for a couple of weeks to see if I miss him or have a desire to be with him. My girls are very attached to him and I can’t see that working out for them. My older daughter already has anxiety issues and it would just get worse if he leaves. He takes care of so many things such as bills. Even when my husband goes away I have awful feelings against him. I just want to feel better towards him. Don’t know what to do anymore. These thoughts have been really bad for over 3 years straight. I can’t take it anymore.
Give a man reassurance, he feels good for a day. Teach a man to not seek reassurance, he feels good for life.
It is so frustrating to feel like you would only be happy if you change your gender even if you always loved beeing a girl. Everything I do that is girly feels fake even if it didn’t in the past. I wanted children. I wanted marriage. I even liked the thought of Beeing a „house wife“. Now all these things feel so detached from me like this person wasn’t really me.Like I‘ve only „acted that way“. Like my brain is actually male. I‘m sad. I‘m angry. I do not know how to get back and how to feel like i love beeing a girl again. I can‘t even imagine having sex because my OCD makes me hate everything that is female… why :(
If anybody needs a little extra help with their OCD, I highly recommend Nathan Peterson's OCD and Anxiety Online Program... he really breaks everything down and gives you that little extra boost needed to get over the hump...
Does anyone else have this weird feeling Ike their waiting for something as to happen. Like wrest I may have done something truly horrendous to someone, but that I just don’t remember. I’m scared all the time, it’s like I’m just waiting for the day someone will speak out and make some sort of accusation against me and that I’ll suddenly remember what I’ve done. I just feel like I’m just waiting for something to happen, I’m always on edge and analyzing my mind, terrified I may have done something truly despicable. I don’t know, I miss when each day just felt normal and I had things to look forward to and didn’t feel like I was hiding something from everyone I know.
A REMINDER that thoughts are meaningless. Think of them as clouds. Clouds can be scary, surrounded by lightning, and darkness. But the key thing to remember is clouds will eventually float away. You may be thinking about the most horrible things, but friend, BREATHE. You are the sun behind this storm. Let these horrible ideas float away.
Does anyone else have a hard time recognizing their self-worth? I adore my friends, but everytime I think they're too good for me or that I'm doing things wrong that will eventually lead to them disliking me. Obviously I never express this to them since I know its all in my head, but I just have a hard time recognizing that I'm worth something to other people.