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So I’ve been having disturbing intrusive thoughts about like kids/babies etc and it has been sooo distressing but I just had vivid thoughts about it and did not have the same distressing feeling. That makes me feel like I am okay with it and that I would do it…..
Okay so, I know ocd has prevented me from basically doing anything I used to do… but I also have had a lot of eye opening moments to what I see is or isn’t okay. Me and my partner have had issues with porn and shit in past, which has contributed to me not feeling ok about certain scenes in movies, like even if before ocd I used to watch whatever scene/movie with my bf, and we used to not care, porn is a big reason as to why I have chosen for us to not watch Sex/sexual scenes, strip club scenes, nudity, etc… I made it a rule when I had ocd , but just because I made that a rule doesn’t mean that it’s the only reason why. I shouldn’t have to be “ok” with certain scenes in movies, not everyone in life can watch that stuff without having their soul affected. I’m also religious and feel that certain things are wrong, so there’s a few reasons as to why we don’t do that now, but ocd is trying to tell me it’s a compulsion and that I’ll never get over ocd because of it. Like I think people are aloud to have change of opinions , yes when I made that rule part of it was because I was worried about triggers but there’s also that because of past issues I don’t want either me or my bf engaging in those types of scenes, no I’m not being immature (my own Nan skips past anything like that) we are religious and see certain things differently than others. On top of that because I used to watch like cardi b music vids and shit where she is just being a slut the whole way through in EVERY music video, I used to love her music and songs and shit, I still listen to her occasionally but just because I used to watch stuff like that doesn’t mean I should have to just to “get over ocd” yes part of it is about preventing being triggered, but also is a respect thing to myself, my partner, and Jesus and my relationship. I know lots of people wouldn’t give a shut about that stuff, but I do! It affects my soul. We are all brainwashed into thinking that people making videos like that is right, I’m sorry it’s not. I get that there may be some music videos I watch that may have certain things that pop up, but I can CHOOSE to look away like my partner does if there’s like twerking or something in it, but when I just KNOW the whole music video is going to be something that affects my soul or I feel Is disrespectful to my partner, myself and our relationship, (I wouldn’t like him watching a music video like that) I shouldn’t have to do that as an exposure right???? Exposures should be things that are normal like going to the shops, or public places for example. just because before in the past I didn’t see an issue with stuff like that doesn’t mean my opinion can’t change on that stuff??? As I said why would I do something I wouldn’t like him doing? It’s hard for me to sometimes know wrong from right because ocd fucks with my head, but sometimes I rely on other peoples insight like my mum or partner because I can’t think for myself at times… anyway all I’m saying is just because I used to fo that stuff before I REALISED how it affected my soul and stuff, I shouldn’t have to just be “ok” with it just because I used to, I just don’t want to think this is a compulsion and that I won’t ever get ocd with this mindset because that’s what OCD is telling me…. I don’t want to play it’s games anymore, but I also shouldn’t have to “expose” myself to sexual/slutty content/material just to “get over ocd” I’ll repeat again I have been a lot closer to god through this and feel certain things are just wrong like those scenes or certain music videos. Any Christian’s maybe similar to me, can give me some perspective?
I genuinely feel like crying rn, my thoughts are scaring me so much and the anxiety is becoming so unbearable atp.
i need fucking help right now please. i just recently had a psychiatrist meeting and i started experiencing meta ocd, because i always feel like im manipulating him because he assures me this is the right diagnosis. last night, i got up to pee and immediately i had rocd thoughts and doom and that turned into doubts about ocd, it didn't stop and i ran downstairs and started googling and calling my boyfriend and nothing was good enough, nothing sounded exactly like my brain. i had some really bad thoughts that didn't turn into themes but relationship does? so is it just real doubt? i don't want to leave him genuinely but im scared and i feel so doomed. i have been researching gad vs ocd and pure ocd and everything and im losing it help me now.
So today I went to this kids store w a friend and we both got these 2 blind boxes of those sonny angel babies with cute little hats and I was happy in the moment but then I got these scary and upsetting intrusive thought, bc I have pocd...and I started ti regret it like omg I thought to myself that I shouldn't have gotten them and it triggered me for some reason. And I cannot get over it. They're just these sweet little figures that are popular among tiktok and stuff and a lot of ppl like them but idk, I hate my brain so much, I just wanna disappear sometimes(Not like a suicidal way) but yeah I just wish I grew up as a normal person and not be burdened with these intrusive thoughts, esp intrusive ones abt social media. That doesn't help and only makes my symptoms worse. I hate this so much, why me
I was watching this random tiktok on my fyp and this guy was comparing his art vs how how he looks or whatever. He is 15 and when he showed how he looked in real life I had a thought that was like 'damn that's how he looks??' and immediately after I thought 'he's 15 why would you think that' and im so anxious that's proof that im attracted to minors. I am 22 and I have never been attracted to a kid, nor have i ever considered dating or persuing a kid. Ive had POCD intrusive thoughts before but still, the pictures had his face covered and they looked like those aesthetic pinterest pictures people post, and i wasnt expecting that. I feel like vomiting but that thought felt so natural and im worried i meant it. Why would I have a thought like that?? I know we're 'not our thoughts' or whatever but that didn't feel like an intrusive thought and now I'm worried that was proof im attracted to a minor and that one of my worst fears is true. I'm also worried if I pass It off as an intrusive thought im in denial or making an excuse. Please help.
Curious how many people recognize this as familiar: My whole life I’ve had this minor preoccupation with tensing muscles and equal number of times on both sides of my body. So if I flex my left bicep, I feel like I need to do the same with the right. It sounds like an OCD compulsion, but I’m not sure it’s tied to any specific obsession or anxiety.
I'm a bit more anxious at the moment and I've accidentally stayed up until 2:42 am (the time here right now) when really I wanted to go to sleep at 11:00- I'm sure it has something if not everything to do with avoidance and avoiding the fears but I just wanted to come here and share my experience so that we can all support each other if this is a common thing at all. I'm definitely gonna try to go sleep sooner next time :) I think I just have to do it regardless of how I feel
How can i get rid of intrusive images on thoughts?? They give me a lot of distress!!! Especially when i’m about to sleep or when i wake up!!
Like some days I feel like I am going nuts but I still function day to day normally and it’s just all in my head? It can be super hard to deal with.
Has anyone’s ocd gotten so loud and in the way that you can’t even think your own thoughts anymore? I’ve been having a horrible time with my ocd so bad that I couldn’t get on this app for a second. So I’m proud I’m writing this post. But my ocd has gotten in the way so bad that I feel like I can’t think. Almost like I have to ask my ocd if I want to eat yet or drink some water. Idrk how to explain it lol. But if anyone relates does anyone have advice?
This isn't OCD related. Anyone play or know anything about Genshin Impact? I thought it was like Breath of the Wild or something. I just wanted to know if it was good or whatever, and I want to hear all your opinions! I don't really know anything about it. I'm also a Christian male, so I don't know if that matters or not here.
Today I gave my best friend in the entire world a hug and she was literally shook. She was loving it and strangely SO WAS I!!!! I’m so happy with myself that words just can’t describe it!!! Maybe there’s hope for me yet…
I swear i love her but we got intimate for the first time and it didn’t feel like i thought it would, i thought sex would feel like the best thing ever but it really wasn’t, it was just a sensation until i finished, sure it felt good, but i always thought sex wasn’t about it feeling good but the rush you get from doing something intimate with a partner but i didn’t get it. Ive always stood my ground in the fact that sex isn’t all that but i thought hm i really love her so this will be awesome. My mind is now constantly telling me i don’t love her, i swear i do, so much. I don’t know what to do
If you're feeling down, overwhelmed, overthinking and fixated on different things - you are not alone and your feelings are valid 💙
Why when I'm triggered does it feel like I like the same sex person? It's so confusing because I love women but when I'm triggered I feel like I'm attracted to men but I don't like them sexually or romantically? Why does this happen? How do I stop it because it's uncomfortable feeling this towards a gender I have no desire having sexual relations with or relationship in general
This might be a silly question, but I have been pushing myself to not give in to triggers and sit through the anxiety of exposures. Today I have done this several times and it’s exhausting. My triggers are all over the place right now. Do I just keep pushing through them as things come up? Do I give in at all and take a break? Just needing a bit of guidance. I feel a bit confused and exhausted. Thank you so much
Hi there ;) New here. I was diagnosed with purely obsessional OCD, but I have a hard time identifying those thoughts within myself. I was wondering if anyone could share their experience/thought patterns to try to help me recognize when I engage in these thoughts as well. Thanks for the time and have a lovely day <3
Does anyone else struggle with zocd?? I wanna feel less alone I'm doing good it's just in the back of my mind I've started worrying about why I don't feel anxious again and if I really enjoy the thoughts 😭 I still can't not focus on groinals and they haven't been strong but I still feel uncomfortable I just wish these things weren't so stuck on my mind it makes me feel icky
Do you have that feeling that for eg. One week you don't suffer from OCD and you feel like everything was fake and you are no really sick of OCD and then it hits again for a few days and you feel awful and have a lot intrusive thoughts, but when it stops again you feel like you say to yourself that you are just pretending to have it. I really feel like that, especially the fact that I have never been really diagnosed yet and sometimes I feel like I'm just pretending and my thoughts are real and I just need to make peace with that and the guilt I feel is beacause I should believe that for example I don't like someone. Do you have any advice?
So I've had intensive ERP treatment for OCD in the past. Actually, over the last 7 years, I've learned about ERP, ACT, CBT, etc. for OCD, and I feel like I'm at a place where I have the tools in my back pocket to manage my OCD. I still live with it, but I know how to sit with the intrusive thought and not perform the compulsion. I recently started seeing a therapist for depression and some physical issues I'm struggling with. I told her I didn't want to discuss OCD because I have the tools and am managing it. Is this okay? I just don't think talking anymore about OCD would be helpful. I feel kind of guilty avoiding talking to my therapist about OCD, but at the same time, I know ERP and I'm confident that I have the tools from years past to manage OCD. Also, I find that talking about my OCD doesn't really help at all, and that the OCD can quickly latch onto therapy if i start talking about it. Does this make sense? I feel bad for some reason, I'm not sure why, like my OCD is telling me I'd be avoiding something by not talking about my OCD, even though I am good at managing it.
Usually when my girlfriend talks about her problems I won’t feel anything and I thought that meant I don’t care about her but I was just sobbing not too long ago because I was thinking about her and i just wanted her to be happy. I don’t know my empathy is weird😭😭😭😭😭 I feared for the longest time I didn’t care about her
when i’m walking by people my ocd makes me think i accidentally touched them and it makes me panic … i know it didn’t happen but i keep thinking “what if” how should i deal with this ?
My main compulsion is to replace my worst intrusive thought possible with a compilation of other bad words to overshadow the first evil word. It's a strange compulsion but it has become something automatic. I think automatically of bad words to oppose an even worse word, the worst of all by a mile. is that something normal, or like relatable?
While I’m feeling good today about my anxiety I’m getting spooked on potentially making a trademarked/copyrighted shirt. everything that i make on my Cricut is for personal use or for gifts to my family. Occasionally I’ll have a friend or someone that i make something for. I’m getting a little freaked out about using let’s say an nfl logo or making my own wwe shirt. Or friends tv show tshirts, etc. basically taking something that offers there own tshirts but making my own. Is this wrong? I’m new to Cricut so I’ve only made like maybe 4 shirts. And i absolutely am not selling nor would i want to sell because that’s a lot. But I’ve made an nfl shirt shirt with a logo on front and name on back and now I’m convinced that I’ll get sued or something. Same with wwe shirts. I’ll make one of the shirts that they sell but kind of with my own spin on it. But I’m still convinced it’s wrong to do. Is it okay as long as it’s for personal use? And also they have logos and everything under the svg,png, etc. to use on Cricut. So would that mean it’s okay or is it still wrong?
I was on an anonymous erotic site and this woman wanted to do stuff with me. She was in a relationship with another woman on the website. She said that she wanted it and that she hadnt done it with her wife in a long time. Long story short we explicitly chatted online but i feel guilty because of the experience. She said i didnt ruin her relationship but i feel like an evil person for doing it. Am i a bad person for this? Someone told me that because its an online chat site, that i have nothing to be sorry about but... i still feel like a horrible bad person who doesnt deserve love...
My exposure right now is learning to be okay with being still & resting versus running around all day trying to be super productive. I want to rest, but I feel all this guilt about not being productive enough. I know this is out of my upbringing and the culture we live in, but it is very uncomfortable to rest. I get jittery and ruminate.
I spent the entire day yesterday w my bf and had no hocd thoughts or urges, but the entire time I felt kinda disconnected from him and didn’t feel love :( I really enjoyed being w him and being intimate, at no point did I feel like I wanted to leave or have it be over, but the love just didn’t feel there :( and now that I’m home and alone, the hocd thoughts have come back stronger to the point where it feels like it’s truly me
Guys I feel the salivation in my mouth and I hate to be their and I swallow it my stomach is hurting me what school I do
I’m kind of irritated at myself because I’ve been doing exposures but then I avoid the negative feelings by distracting myself with something. And now I’m like irritated because I didn’t realize I was doing a compulsion.
So when you think your life is a figurative dumpster fire take heart. I started a literal dumpster fire a little while ago. Put some fire pit ash in there I thought was ok....it was not. My wife ran in the house saying the dumpster was on fire and I was like what are you talking about. Yup it sure was. Don't worry we put it out and had a good laugh. SMH.
The day after tomorrow is my birthday and I become 18 years old. I'm scared that at 0:00 I'm going to get the same intrusive triggering words related to pocd inside my head, as a self sabotaging mechanism, staining and ruining the entire day and the memory of a once in a lifetime event forever. I don't know what to do. Hoping for the best doesn't get anywhere. Those thoughts will probably happen because I didn't get over them. It's a two-word intrusive thought and they keep appearing everytime I do something important to disrupt me and ruin the present, like when I'm practicing a passage on my intrusment... it appears automatically and i have to sit with it, with something so horrible and disgusting. I don't know.
I don’t know what to do! My 13 year old son has suffered with intrusive thoughts for years. He feels guilty of things he’s done in the past when he was super young and obsesses over it to the point that he has to come clean about everything!! He fears that he may be a phedophyle at times because of intrusive thoughts. He’s on Zoloft 75 for it, it was getting better for a bit but it’s getting aggressive again! He is so kind and such a good son and person. He is in counseling but his counselor doesn’t specialize in OCD. I don’t know if I should have them change his medication, idk if there’s a medication that will help him more. I’m so scared I suffered with intrusive thoughts as a kid and teen, I never got help but I’m good now.
I’ve been talking to this guy for the past three weeks. He’s been so fun to hang out with and this past Friday, we went out to the movies. After the movie, I had noticed an old co worker waiting in line for the bathroom. I completely forgot his name, but I figured I would say hi anyways. It was super quick, but afterwards- the guy I went on the date with was quiet towards me. I asked him the next day what was wrong and he said he was upset I didn’t introduce him to the co worker and he thought maybe I had a past relationship with him. But I assured him I did not, which I didn’t ever. Anyways, I haven’t heard from him in almost 24 hours. He’s looked at my Instagram story and I know he’s ignoring me. I sent him a bunch of texts today freakinggggg out saying “please talk to me and tell me if this is not working out” and “please I’m so heartbroken” and a bunch of other texts. I feel so embarrassed now and he still hasn’t responded. What do I do? I’m panicking. I thought we had resolved things, but I guess not? I don’t even know if he will ever answer again.
Hello, My name is Dana, I’m new to this app but I’ve been suffering from harm OCD for quite some time now and it’s been extremely debilitating. I’ve never experienced anything like this EVER in my life. It started at the beginning of this year, I got hit like a runaway train with intrusive thoughts and it shook me to my core. I wanted to see if anyone on here has struggled or is currently struggling with harm OCD and could maybe share their stories? It would just be nice to feel less alone and maybe share what has worked/not worked. All I want to do is overcome this! Thanks in advance to all who respond.
I feel I’ve done something so terrible my life would be ruined, my brain feels in pain for keep trying to remember the night over a year ago clearly what happened, I’m lost what shall I do
It's always mention that OCD's main focus it's the doubt and the "what if" questions, but to be quite honest, my mind barely ever asked any question, most of my thoughs/feelings are like afirmations "you are into dudes" "you are in denial" and the feeling that those statements are true, with or withouth anxiety, that's how mine usually goes
I’m in denial I really like this guy and I really want to tell him that I love him but he just does small talk with me I keep doubting what to text him I really wish I could just get a boyfriend and not have to deal with all of this
Does ROCD make you notice your partner’s physical flaws? I notice things I never even noticed before. This is killing me. I feel like if I love my husband I should see no physical flaws.
People know that I’m a germaphobe. They think it’s funny. They purposely will cough on me or touch me with contaminated hands. They know me. They know how I am. Today I had someone hug me and then shortly after told me that they weren’t feeling well. They KNOW that I am scared of getting sick. I’m also a new mom to a 4 month old. We JUST got over being horribly sick (horrible time for all of us) and she’s even still on antibiotics. When I told him I was not happy he just said “you’re going to be around germs all the time.” Like duh… I know… that’s like a whole things for me. And there is this really really gross lady (sorry that’s rude) at much church. She is a hoarder of trash, so fat she can’t breath, she NEVER bathes, her house is FULL of cats and is so messy she didn’t even know one of them was dead. She trapped me and hugged me today. I had to change my shirt because the whole side of my body she touched felt heavy. It set me off for the day I think. I couldn’t get my hands clean enough. I’m just frustrated with how rude people are to me about this. They know but they think it’s just a cute quirk. It makes me sick. For clarification, the lady didn’t do anything particularly wrong… I just can’t stand to be around her, even though that’s rude.
Well, this 26 of december i hace an Big and important evento out of my country with my boyfriend, thing is that i have two diferente thoughts and they are like: "for that time You Will have a girlfriend" and "As an adult you will break up with your boyfriend and Will be gay" ir "i feel as if i keep thinking about being gay (OCD) i Will end up being gay, so i should stop thinking about it (i can't stop thinking about it) " And they make me anxious because, sometimes i do Say things like that and they end up being true, like, You feel when something is going to happen, like "i feel this is going to happen" i don't know if someone would get that, as if you knew yourself, dime months ago before My boyfriend left to Korea and started My Anxiety disorder>OCD i used to say "I feel that i would be fuck*d up while he's on Korea, and yup i was completly right, that woke my OCD back.. I'm scared i'm predicting and that i'm justo preparing myself and idk that it Will actually come true because i know myself, i hate this.. i don't want to
OCD is a consistent struggle for me. Causes me to be late to things and gives me so much anxiety. I’m ready to stop this.
Hi. I was recently diagnosed with ROCD by my therapist. Which is a relief, because I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts in all my relationships, but even though I was in therapy, I had never been diagnosed and I didn’t know if there was a name for what I was experiencing. So, we are barely starting to work on it. I’m recently married to a man that has only showed me I can trust him, he re assures me and respects me. But I still tend to have the need to make sure all the time he’s not cheating or lying, paying attention to every single detail. At the same time I have the fear that I’ll ruin my marriage with my obsessions. I don’t want him to know about the diagnosis, cause I feel he’s gonna get scared and run away. Has anyone here recovered from ROCD? How’s life on the other side?
Not good. Keep obsessing about cleanliness.
So for the week I've felt like myself like actually myself so little intrusive thoughts groinal not really there anymore aswel and when I see a kid,tween whoever I can mostly acknowledge them and move on like I did before this theme but I got moments where like it doesn't feel like ocd feels like I want the thoughts,feeling sensations which makes zero sense because I was fine no symptoms forgot about this theme like 2 months ago and I've learnt about the backdoor spike but like it's weird why sometimes does it feel like I'm lying and sometimes feel really real, and also why do I try to make myself anxious try to get fear out of me and I do still constantly think like "why aren't i anxious, wheres are the thoughts gone it must be real" it's apparently meta ocd. But one thing that's still bothers me is that my attraction to women my age is not back really like I want to like them like I know I do but can't feel it which bothers me😢
Therapist agreed with me that its probably OCD!!! I talked to my parents about a psychiatrist appointment, they both looked confused when i told them why but agreed to work on getting it set up. My mom thinks hes wrong, because she believes im autistic (as do i) but you can have ASD and OCD right???
I just figured out that i have pure OCD so now I dont know what to do. I heard that telling myself that the thoughts are just thoughts is a compulsion and now i can’t figure out what to say to myself to help my intrusive thoughts because I can’t differentiate it from a compulsion or if its actually helping me.
this is going to be a bit of a vent and is also a bit gross, so please read at your own risk but if anyone has any advice id really appreciate it as i dont know what to do anymore. im 15 years old and currently live mainly with my mother, stepdad, brother and younger sister and go to my fathers house on the weekends with my brother. Please dont view this as me saying my family are filthy or anything, as thats not what i mean at all and i dont want this to come across as me throwing them under the bus. but my mother and stepdad have alot of unclean habits like not washing their hands after touching dirty things (e.g underwear or things like that) which means everything they touch = contaminated to me. i dont entirely blame them for this, since they both didnt have alot of money growing up and often didnt have soap or even toothpaste, but times are different now and i cant take it much more. this has gotten in the way of ALOT of things. i cant touch most things in the fridge because they touched it meaning i cant make food, sometimes i cant even eat the lunches my mom packs for me for school anymore, i cant touch alot of things in my room, i cant use my tv, i basically cant do anything. and around last year someone sat down on our sofa with no pants at all on (sounds really weird and gross i know) and i dont think they ever cleaned it after that so now i genuinley cannot touch anything on that couch or anything that has touched that couch which you can imagine makes my life very difficult because its our main sofa and they spend alot of time in the sitting room. i have a cat and she ofcourse is going to often go on the sofa because shes a cat, and while i do still play with her and love her all the same ofcourse, its really exhausting to have to wash my hands every single time i play with her or pet her and not be able to use my phone and other things while doing so. she never really goes into my room or specifically onto my bed, but today she did and she sat on my phone and walked on my pillow and my charger and i had to scrub my phone with 2 types of soap since we didnt have any anti bacterial wipes left and i still dont feel as if its clean and i dont know what im going to do tonight when going to sleep. i know this may sound bizarre but my life has genuinley become so difficult to the point where i dont know what to do or how im going to continue on with this everyday. i feel way more comfortable and relaxed at my fathers house because none of those problems are there but i dont know how my mother would react if i asked her if i could stay there, or if i even could because of how id get to and from school everyday. but i feel like she would be hurt and may not understand and i dont even know if he would say yes. and also his lease says that he cannot have pets, and i dont want to leave my cat behind. my mother is aware that i think i have ocd (i know i have it but to her she just thinks im thinking about it) and we are currently on the waiting list for camhs, yet she doesnt understand it at all and i have yet to have a conversation with her about how it actually affects my life everyday. i know this is lengthy but im so unbelievably exhausted and i really dont know what to do. any help or reply is appreciated ^_^
7 Years ago I was hit with intrusive thoughts on Harm and it suddenly took a turn. It got so much. With no sleep and constant worry my harm OCD quickly turned into “What if this is a message from God” and really stupid what if’s like “What if this is all a test” “What if this life isn’t real” Followed by REALLY intense images and it was so confusing. How can these images be so clear yet so hazy? How can these images pop into my head so quickly? Every time I seem to answer one worry about the images to disprove that they are not something sent to me by a higher power (Irrational I know) I seem to come up with something else like “Well maybe my images are different because my eyes were open” or “Were my eyes closed when I had these images?” Or even “What if my images are so unique and nobody else see’s these visions like me” Some advice would be good. Where do I go? Is this even OCD? Am I on a psychosis? Who knows… I just need some help. I will book into therapy but for now… I need this. Thanks all.
My father is overwhelming me with his mistakes and regrets on his life and is demanding me to stop being lazy and move in into the house so I can help them with bills and mortgage. I can see he is trying to manipulate me with his mistakes and telling me how I’m just not doing much. Meanwhile I’m just realizing I’m burnt out from my work and everything around. For god sake I teach art for kids for an afterschool program, and I am taking classes for cybersecurity that can hopefully get me a full time job. So to be called lazy is unfair and stupid. And I am tired and stressed from having to hear my father talk about his mistakes. My intrusive thoughts have been rising a lot now, to just wanting to run away, or hitting stuff, or just simply sit on the floor. Sorry for than rant
The flight was fine, my OCD was lying to me once again. Once I allowed the fears and sensations to just be, they eventually melted away, and I could actually enjoy the flight. Feels good to not be ruled by my fears 😊
I want to heal my ROCD because it’s destroying my relationship and making me question everything about my boyfriend. I’ve gone through several different periods of feeling like i don’t know how I feel with him to breaking down into panic attacks about it cause I know I love him and I want to be with him. But my doubts and something within my gut is now telling me we shouldn’t be together and I keep feeling guilt and like I can’t move on from this. I just want to love him and see him the way I used to without always questioning myself and looking up reassurance from google
My partner and I both struggle with relationship OCD/retroactive jealousy. I did things in the past that I am not proud of. And sometimes this causes my partner to spiral and become distant, and even cold towards me. I really loved her and feel guilty every time she starts becoming distant, and I want to help her. How do I help a partner who is struggling with rOCD?
so w some of my real events i try to remind myself with the thoughts that if the thought made me feel guilty or upset that means that’s not how i really feel. but then i compare it to this one time. i used to have this friend in high school and the guy she was dating i had previously had feelings for before they got together. i remember one day i had the thought of “things would be so much better and different if i would have got with him instead” and i felt kinda guilty about that thought? but not like overwhelmingly guilty. but obviously it is what i wanted bc i liked him previously , and i’m with him now ( me and his ex already stopped being friends for other reasons before i got w him) so basically i compare that to other intrusive thoughts i have and am like “well in that situation ur thoughts were true so probably in this situation too”
I’m in a bit of a false memory crisis lately. All I want is to understand, I want to understand how a false memory can be false if it contains real details especially if it was from years ago. I just want to understand how my false memory seems to have real details that i didn’t even know were real until ruminating. Can it still be false? I’m in a never ending nightmare. I just want to understand this. I’m miserable.
Sometimes my mind says things to my family when im on the phone with them or they are going somewhere "i hope you die" or something similar or worse. These thoughts i know are ego-dystonic. I would never want my family hurt its the last thing i want to think about i know this is ocd but can anyone relate to this?
I am normally the type of person that uses self-check out due to being afraid of having interactions with the opposite gender. Today, I went to wawa to grab a snack but the self check out line wasn’t working so I saw a man working at the register but as I was waiting in line I forgot who was at the register so when it was my turn I avoided eye contact with him because I don’t normally look at men due to being afraid of my intrusive thoughts. I scanned my card and he said “perfect! Just like you” and he sounded like a old man and I thought he was a old man just trying to be sweet so I just laughed and I looked up for a second and realized it was like a young guy saying that and I just continued to awkwardly laugh and smiled and rushed out without my receipt. I now feel like i am disloyal to my boyfriend. But when im in awkward situations I just laugh or smile because I feel uncomfortable, it’s normally a natural reaction to me.
Having ocd makes me always think the worst. I have had 2 incidents over the years that have made my life miserable. I guess they are real events. When my son was little he would crawl into bed with me sometimes. One morning I got up and he was still asleep. I went about my day. When I went back upstairs to my room he was awake sitting up wrapped in the blanket. I said good morning and told him to come downstairs with me and get breakfast like I always did but when he got out of bed he didn’t have his underwear on. I yelled at him demanding to know why he didn’t have them on. He was 2 or 3 so he could talk but not fully yet and he pointed at me and yelled “You!”. My ocd immediately kicked in and made me think the worst that I must have done something horrible to him in my sleep. The other was years later when my daughter was younger she used to crawl into bed with me at night alot. One night I woke up to her saying “mommy” and I was really tired so I just remember saying “sorry” and moving over and going back to sleep. I know it was probably nothing more than I just rolled over on her or something like that but my ocd keeps telling me I must have done something horrible. I don’t want to live thinking I could have done something horrible in my sleep. It has made my life so hard to live. People without ocd probably wouldn’t think much about these situations and would just shrug them off as weird things kids do or say or that happen in life and parenthood but my ocd makes the worst possible scenario out of everything and makes me hate myself and living. 😞
Can someone tell me if I have ocd lol I’m gonna list some symptoms that I experience If I do something a certain amount of times I have to do it until I reach a number I like or I get really stressed. If I can’t then I would try to cope by pretending or imagining that I did it right but it often doesn’t work. It happens more when I’m anxious. When I am scrolling on TikTok and I open the comments I have to open everyone’s stories if they have that blue ring around their profile picture (indicating that they’ve posted stories recently). Also I have to open the replies of every comment with less than 3 replies. But then I worry that there are more comments with less than 3 replies later on in the comment section so sometimes I have to go through all the comments in the comment section. Sorry if that was worded weirdly it’s kinda hard to explain lmao I experience these symptoms several times a day. I don’t want to self diagnose but a professional diagnosis is expensive asf
I feel less emotions now. Being stoic is different, and i feel like having less emotions. The more amount of emotions i feel normally now are sadness and irritation. Ocd takes a toll on a person. When the thoughts and images decrease, i still don't feel improvement in my condition. I am sure it takes time to get normal, but by then i relapse. This feels like a constant in my life now, and now i actually feel as if it's a part of me, and that i have to always fight it without any recovery. My relationship/singlehood life isn't any good either, and hocd just makes it worse. The thoughts and images are so frustrating, but when they decrease, i don't even know what to do then. It's as if i hsve forgotten how to live without struggling against ocd. I don't take meds. Meds feel like living well with ocd and not actually recovering from it. For the past 3 out 4 months i didn't take it meds, it still felt good and like progress in my recovery. I just want to defeat ocd and live my life as per my own choices.
I feel like such a liar and feeling so guilty again for something that happened back in March on this app. I was seeking advice on a sensitive topic about feeling bad for having fantasizing sometimes during intimacy. I feel guilty bc 1) I feel like that’s something my husband would not want me sharing bc I don’t even share with him and 2) a male commented ( not that I can control who comments on a thread) and what set my ocd off was that he said “let me Know if you need/want to chat” which made me uncomfortable and I even told him the comment made me feel bad even tho I don’t think that’s what he intended. Was just offering advice and basically said prior to that “who cares what you fantasize over everyone does” so, since I never told my husband about this random convo I feel guilty. Bc in my head the “let me Know if you need or want to chat” set something off that I felt like it was cheating? Does this make sense to anyone? How do you overcome this situation. Ugh I hate feeling like I’m sneaky and my ocd makes Me feel I have to tell my husband every single detail and word of every conversation so he knows I’m a faithful wife. :( I love him. He’s my high school sweetheart. I hate my brain
hey everyone! so from July to start of November I had extremely intense rocd with intrusive thoughts compulsions and all, however now I feel that I hardly get the intrusive thoughts and now I’m just left with the lingering feeling and anxiety of not loving my partner. I think this is due to the fact I’ve had rocd thoughts for a while and now my brains almost in limbo ? I’m not sure what this is and I’m panicking as I don’t feel as much anxiety as I did with the thoughts, this is a major trigger for me as I want to feel attraction and for things to go back to normal but how can I get this lingering “I don’t live my partner” thought away, it seems like the only thing keeping me from recovering :)
WHY CAN'T THEY GO AWAY ? I understand that is the point of ocd attacking you, but it's still so frustrating. I do acceptance therapy and to a degree erp, and it works. But after a point, the thoughts and images should decrease. When they do, fixation and overthinking ruin things again.
Have you ever woke up feeling like something happened or you did something the night before or while you were asleep, forgot, and feel anxious? You know it's just ocd, but you can't let it go lol
does your ocd ever make you think you agreed with your intrusive thoughts in the past ?
In addition to OCD I have borderline personality disorder. Every day something upsets me, and I blow up about it and then stew/ ruminate about it. This isn't good when you have harm OCD. Anyone else have this?
Could I talk with someone on discord, instagram or somewhere? In best case with some women who also have so-ocd. I am in really bad state. I read something and feel really bad :(
today has been rough😭 I just want to have a good day for once. my ocd is killing me on the inside. I can’t even enjoy the things I used to enjoy anymore. some days are better than others and even more are horrible. I don’t know what to do anymore.
Question for someone who is actually gay.. If I came to you and said I've watched lesbian porn and been aroused would you consider me to be gay because of that? Or would you tell me that doesn't determine sexuality? I've never been with a women nor ever planned on it. But these thoughts are terrible. I don't care if you're gay as my husband and I have gay friends who we hang out with quite often. I'm just genuinely curious from a gay person's perspective. My therapist says I have socd and I need to forgive myself for the porn usage and it says nothing about me as a person but maybe having any actual gay person explain it to me would help. I haven't even watched porn in a long time. No desire to do so as I wanna strictly focus on my husband. Please don't be mean.
Everywhere I go and everything thing I do feels wrong. I feel like I’m being watched or I always feel like I’m being a horrible person.. I really just want to be kind and loving.. I feel like I have to fight for it every second of the day… it’s just too draining
Has anyone here worked with Jenna Overbaugh (former NOCD therapist)? She recently created her own course for OCD and I was wondering if anyone here has tried it?
Does anyone else feel nothing like emotions because lately I can’t feel nothing for my partner and it’s killing me
Has anyone with emetophobia actually ever had a stomach bug on here? If so please explain your experience, I could really use some advice as I’ve been around my boyfriend who has a stomach bug and I have had so much exposure I’m worried I’ll be next. Anything to prepare me?
Shakily facing exposures again today and hoping to hear some words of encouragement. It’s so hard. I know it’s the only way but it’s so painful. Thanks in advance it means a lot.
So I have had issues stemming from childhood which I have been working on for many years. My husband, however, can’t or won’t see that he has any issues. I love him, but after over 30 years I’m at the end of my rope. There are so many issues, and he just turns them all around to be mine. I’ve never wanted to not be with him anymore, and I don’t see any way out anyway. My situation seems totally hopeless.
Can people share their experiences with ERP? My thoughts have gotten so bad that I worry no one can help me. Has anyone had such awful thoughts that don’t ever leave them alone and also thought they’d never get better but has had success with ERP? I need some success stories. I start therapy tomorrow and I want to ask my therapist about her take on meds and which will be best for me. It’s gotten so bad.
hi everyone im 17 year old kid suffering from ocd of contamination for a year. My ocd have made me leave my home away from my family and i couldn’t touch them because of dogs in my home. i’ve dropped high school for now and i stay at other place with my mom only. looking to share the pain in this same field.
my brain used to go ‘well you can think it just don’t act on it’ then id be like i don’t want to think it at all but then now my brain is going ‘what if you don’t want to think about it because you just want to act on it and not think about the consequences or how you’d feel after it’. my brains doubting literally everything even to the point of if i want help anymore
Hi, I found out two weeks ago I’m pregnant with my second child. I had a horrible OCD with my first child after he turned 1. I went to outpatient program and with medication and therapy I’ve been in recovery for almost 4 years. This pregnancy has brought my OCD back and even though I know what it is and what to do I can’t seem to pull out of it. My themes have always been around my child and if I love him. So of course the same theme has come along with this unborn baby and even trying to go back to my son. Are there any other second time moms that have went through this? To much of my shame I’ve even been considering an abortion to try and not go back to as bad as I was 4 years ago.
If I text a friend and they don’t reply quickly I really freak out and want to text them again to check they don’t think bad of me, and my mind starts ruminating about possible reasons they would hate me, fuck this ocd man
got video call therapy tuesday and i'm not feeling it it's with a new person so got to go through explaining everything and it triggers me i just want to cancel it 😔😢
I’m distancing myself from friends because they didn’t understand when I had a distressing period. Some lost their temper with me and others started ignoring me. Some have their own problems right now but it still leaves me minus a support network. One person was a newer friend but she was in a relationship. The ick of feeling like a creep got to me so I blocked her. Another lost her temper which wasn’t what I need ever so I blocked her. Then another is ignoring all my messages so I don’t see what I can do about that. Tbh though I’m doing much better now. Maybe I can cope.
Just woke up from a recurring nightmare that I have every now and then. I had forgotten about it until now and now I’m obsessing trying to figure out why I’m having it, is it based off something I did/that happened, is it a repressed memory, is it real at all? It’s really upsetting and I’m not sure how to handle it because I can already feel myself wanting to spend all day looking into the events in the dream to see if they’re real or not. I’m not sure how to comfort myself or self-soothe. It progresses a bit in the storyline each time I have it and each time it’s distressing; I’m scared that even me posting about what the dream(s) are about make them true. I’m just so tired. When does this end?
Help I can't stop ruminating! Going to leave house soon. That may help. Wish it was nicer outside.
