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What are some good responses that create uncertainty? Ex: If I am feeling anxiety during an exposure, what are some good responses to my thoughts that would create a sense of uncertainty?

Does anyone else’s ocd getting way worse during their period?

i know it might sound like a weird question but i'm really confused about it so i'm going to ask, what is arousal and how do i know if i'm aroused by someone?

Does anyone feel they purposely create a trigger? Like today, I was walking and the place to walk was like cobblestone or whatever (pieces of stone too small for my feet) and I asked myself, “what if you broke your ankles the next time you stepped on a crack?” But it’s not /me/ saying that. It’s the goblin in my head that tells me that stuff on purpose just to screw with me. And I know my ankles wouldn’t break if I stepped on a crack, but I found myself walking in the grass. Or anytime I hear of a superstition, I say “lmao wouldn’t it be so funny if I followed that superstition, and if I failed to, something horrible would happen?” Hello??? No it wouldn’t be funny at all. Then I’m constantly worried about this new superstition. Idk

Just curious if anyone see the latest episode with the attorney having ocd? What did you think?

It's so difficult to maintain other healthy habits when we are bothered by our thoughts but it's very important. I especially have to remember to eat. Hunger exacerbates my anxiety by 3x. Remember to take care of yourself.

What I like to do that gets me to get up and do my ERP when I really don’t want to is write my intrusive thoughts or fears in a journal (*I bought one that has a lock on Amazon if you wanted one*) and I re read what I write out loud. But when I am struggling I do it I just read one page out loud then do an action. For example: I read one page then I sit up in bed. Read another I stand up, read another leave the room, read another go to the kitchen, read another get a snack etc. it feels like I am being rewarded or completing a level in a video game if that makes sense. I normally use it on days when I feel like I am not going to do my ERP because it gets me to actually get up and do it. No idea why lol. Note: when u write in a journal really absorb the thought u r saying out loud don’t just skim it or read it. Also I like to say thoughts that are really hard to say 5 times when I get used to it and I carry a pen just in case I have other thoughts I need to write down! Last thing lol sometimes I say the thoughts in funny voices or accents as well as sing them. It slowly takes the fear out. I hope this helps anyone.❤️ Everything will be okay I promise. Sending my love.

Remember your life before OCD struck, did you care about those things nearly as much then as you did now? Ultimately we won't know if our obsessions are for sure only OCD, as it's another OCD doubt. But this is something I thought about. I'm really struggling right now with that feeling of urgency and wanting to know if there's more I have to do but I just have to treat it as other OCD thoughts.

hey do you guys feel like you are forcing fear when you have all these tiring thoughts?

Does anyone else have an interaction with someone and then immediately after it’s over you fear you did something to harm them? Sometimes I get so anxious when I interact with people I try to track every single thing I’m doing. Then after the interaction is over I have to do mental reviewing to figure out if I did something to harm them. Like literally seconds after the I teraction sometimes I think, “ did I black out or dissociate and do something I would never do?” After these I usually spend the rest the of the day trying to figure it out. It’s so weird because the anxiety like affects my memory so quickly.

Does anyone else’s ERP make them feel like a criminal?

So before it was just a case of not having intrusive thoughts or learning not be bothered by them and then they lessen and lessen but now I’ve gotten in this really bad habit of deliberately imagining the thoughts to test myself and even be worried because it feels like ‘I like the feeling’ of imagining doing that intrusive thought (it’s about smothering) and it’s like now I don’t have intrusive thoughts but instead I deliberately imagine the thoughts over and over to test myself and if it feels like I ‘like it’ I keep imagining it in hopes I will feel anxious and a strong hate towards the thought but it makes me scared because sometimes when I deliberately imagine it, it feels like I like the feeling of imagining doing that and it feels real like it’s about to happen and then when I walk away it feels like I don’t even know why I never acted on the thought and I’m Thinking ‘that could have happened’ it feels too real and then I think I’m the future it’s possible I might actually act on it if it keeps feeling like that and I’m worried and don’t trust myself 😞 today I was in a shop and I have the same type of intrusive thought about this kid in a pram 🤦🏻‍♀️ and then I walked away and then I walked back to deliberately imagine the thought again to check how I feel about it and now I’m writing this post because I’m worried I would actually be evil or want to be evil and I actually like the feeling of doing that because that’s what it feels like when I imagine it 😞😞 I just want my life back I hate this, I don’t feel normal anymore 😞 I honestly feel like I can’t trust myself cause now I have an evil desire and actually like the feeling of doing that when I imagine it and it’s scary to think that

How do I talk to someone with ROCD. My wife with ROCD come at me with what supposed to be a good conversation but the whole time she's doing investigation on her bad thoughts and then the conversation change. This came about because she got off the phone with me after feeling sick to her stomach and wouldn't return my call for a few hours. I just wanted to know if she was OK. I get so frustrated because she's not listening and then I turn into the bad guy for trying to defend myself. The false thought drives everything.

i feel so sick right now with fear!!! the other day i got incredibly drunk. i can’t remember a lot of what i did or said that day. there’s this guy i know who i’ve been worried i have a crush on for a while. i have a boyfriend and it terrifies me to think i could not love him. and breaks my heart with guilt. i just feel awful. this other guy has some traits i really like but i can’t tell if i have a CRUSH on him. it’s just a horrible uncertainty for me. but i choose to be with and love my boyfriend so i focus on that when i feel anxious. anyway, apparently when i was drunk i was saying to my friend that that other guy is ‘my platonic soulmate because we sleep in the same position’!!! and i don’t know if he heard me say that. i also was apparently being really kind about him to my friends (saying he’s great and under-appreciated etc). since i was drunk, this was my subconscious speaking and that terrifies me. if my boyfriend said these things about another girl i’d be absolutely devastated. i would be so upset and angry. i would cry and cry. so the fact i’ve done this makes me feel deeply guilty. i want to cry. i feel like i don’t deserve my boyfriends love. he’s too perfect and good for me. i feel horrible. i’m also scared now that my friends think i’m inlove with this other guy. i just explained to one of them that i absolutely don’t like him like that and can’t understand why i said all of that stuff when i was drunk. she didn’t seem fussed. but i’m worried she thinks i’m in denial. because i’m worried i am!!!! i don’t believe myself when i say it’s nothing. i’m scared i’ve been disloyal and unfaithful. i’m scared i have feelings for someone else. i love my boyfriend so much i really do, and i feel so guilty. i’m scared i’ve hurt him.

I can't take my mind of the idea that I look sickly, like I showered and took a look at the mirror got shocked at how unhealthy I look??? I've only been struggling with mild allergies...

Has anyone had any good results from using low doses of THC for OCD? I’ve had some luck and was wondering if anyone has had long term success? My OCD has recently revved up so I’m wondering about meds/natural options.

Does OCD ever make you think you said your thoughts out loud or said something you are sure you didn’t say

Unrelated but being an HSP is very hard. Most times, I wish I had a partner to give me a bear hug.

I oversleep sometimes due to the anxiety doing things in a certain order, of leaving the house, getting on the train and being in a potentially toxic work environment. All of these things cause a level of stress that make me want to call in sick because it's too much to even start. That happened this morning. When that happens, I feel very depressed, like I screwed something up, as if I should be better than that.

I saw a comment on YouTube that is the mantra I go by treating my subtypes. "Don't react to the thought. Just don't react." Simple but it has worked the best for me and my OCD has been in remission most when I apply this strategy, no matter how intense it feels at times. OCD will never be satisfied with arguments, because it will just give the next 20 things to try and disprove. Instead don't react to the thoughts, and take care of yourself anyways and do what you have wanted. Best of luck to all.

Often there is a question in the back of our minds wondering when the "right time" to do therapy will be. My simple answer to this is that there will never be a "right time" because nothing will meet the "right time" OCD definition. But there may be a great time to do therapy and if you have been thinking about giving it a try, now might be a great time to give it a go. OCD will always have an excuse not to do therapy and try to distract you. If that is happening to you then it sounds like a great time to start therapy to me!

If you have OCD do you also have GAD?

Hello, I want to share my story. My name is Julia. I found out about OCD only 6-7 years ago. In fact, I haven't confirmed the diagnosis of OCD. But everything goes to this. I'm just afraid, I'm not ready to hear a real diagnosis. I understand that you can't prepare for this. It's like any physical illness. I visited 3 different psychotherapists. Simply because I like to avoid anything that gets complicated. Only with the last of them, I was the most open. About six months ago, I interrupted our sessions. It seemed to me that at that moment it became a little easier for me. Now I'm getting worse again. Where do you get your strength? My primary symptoms: 1. Dermatillomania (skin picking), maybe it comes as a separate mental disorder, but my specialist said that most likely these are related things. 2. I constantly do cleaning, literally every day I come home from work and start dusting, disinfecting all the things that are in my bag, all the door handles. This process can take from 1 to 3 hours a day. I used to think that I like to clean, that it relaxes me. When in fact, I hate doing it, but I can’t just stop myself. The slightest mote on the floor irritates me. It's very difficult to force yourself to accept the fact that the principle "order in the room - order in the head" doesn't matter at all. I'm tired of this, sometimes I manage to agree with myself and convince myself that if I forget to dust, I won't die from it. But this rarely happens. I have doubts about my sexual orientation, whether I have OCD at all, whether I'm real or am I in some kind of dream. Sometimes it seems to me that the objects around me simply don't exist. My riatul before going to bed - I need to check several times whether the door, windows are closed, the iron is turned off from the outlet. Are all things in the right places and in the "correct" position. Sometimes I just feel so overwhelmed. There are too many thoughts in my head, obsessive thoughts. I can't deal with all of them. I’m constantly trying to control things... even things I can't control. For example, when there is a heavy downpour and a thunderstorm begins. I close all windows, recheck the situation every 5 seconds. I want to influence the weather, but how? It's just not possible. Also, I try to unconsciously control other people and their thoughts. It annoys me. In the future I want to have children. Every day I think about what if they have OCD, how I can help them. What if I hurt them. I'm already making scenarios with bad endings. Every day I think that I'm a bad person, that I'm only making things worse for everyone. Or something like "maybe I'm capable of murder", "maybe I'm evil." I google the symptoms all the time and think I might die. I’m tired of people telling me I’m "too sensitive". I try to be kind to myself, but sometimes I fail. I'm so tired of my thoughts. I rarely cry. One bad experience in the past still has consequences. I don't know how to cry, especially in front of people. I have too much control over my feelings and emotions. When I feel bad, I just distance myself from everyone, I don’t want to communicate with anyone. Also lately I can't make a single decision. I feel constant guilt for no particular reason. I have trouble concentrating and haven't been doing my job well in recent weeks. How do you manage to control yourself? Are there any techniques/methods that help you? I do various workouts (yoga, stretching, etc.) at home. But sometimes even it doesn't help me relax and not think too much. I have good friends who will always support and help. But it's difficult for me to discuss my condition with them, simply because they'll not understand. I would like to talk to those who understand perfectly how I feel. I apologize that my post was too chaotic. There is a complete chaos of thoughts in my head. Also, sorry if my post has mistakes. English isn't my native language.

I’m wondering with OCD is there sometimes no compulsions with doing or hearing something that’s triggering?

Anyone else ruminate is much about their relationship that the lines between reality and your fears are blurred, like it’s hard to tell which is which?

Does anyone get intrusive thoughts that say “I don’t care”?

I am in a fantastic relationship, but I have recently been having issues with intrusive thoughts, often attributed to retroactive jealousy and past memories. These thoughts are things that I do not believe and do not want to say out loud but are at the top of my mind all day until I force myself to confront them and say them out loud. As I am thinking them I’m fighting with myself knowing I shouldn’t say them out loud. It’s almost relief to get the thought that’s been causing me distress all day off my chest but then immediately we argue (rightfully so). Does anyone else have this issue or have ways to cope with this?

Has anyone here tried and been successful with lexapro? And if you have what dosage were you on? Please and Thank youu🫶

do you gotta only tell yourself to be uncertain or you REALLY need to be uncertain? like REALLY BELIEVE in it

Does anyone else feel like when they mention someone they are talking to, to their friends they start to think the universe is against them and gonna mess it up? Because that’s what I’m going through right now. I notice things and things that have always been going on but now I think “oh now it’s because you talked about him now the universe is gonna ruin it for you” and I’m beyond stressed! So what if he’s left me on delivered for a while, that doesn’t mean anything right?? Idk I’m stressed out I feel like I’ve ruined it because I’ve talked about him, regretting it and I wish I left it a secret

I was mamá going to not seek reassurance but since the sudden change of med I’m back into it 🥲

i know it might sound like a weird question but i'm really confused about it so i'm going to ask, what is arousal and how do i know if i'm aroused by someone?

I just started yesterday and it was so hard to start because I was terrified of the side effects like what if my chemicals in the brain suddenly change and it turns to a compulsive disorder and I start acting out all my thoughts and I can’t seem to get the anxiety to go away it might be a side effect I don’t know my psychologist said to just let it be but it is scary I don’t know why like I can’t leave my bed because I’m afraid like oh what if I stand up I do it and also when I’m next to something that feeds the intrusive thought my brain is like do it but with this change I take it more seriously and it’s so dumb, it will take time but it’s still scary.

me: *throws a piece of cardboard across the room* OCD: "hey, what if i told you to throw that and the fact that you did it means that you‘d act on all of your intrusive thoughts?" does anyone else experience this or is it just ME

Does HOCD affect y’all’s dreams too?

What is it about OCD that makes us feel like we need to know the answers to everything?

Hello I am a man who used to be very funny and bully a lot his friends, now when my friends bully me I feel pain in my chest, and I feel very bad if I make a joke.

I keep having bad outbursts of shouting/screaming crying and people around me keep saying I’m mad and my mum says that I need a carer or that I should get a carer and that’s making me feel like there’s actually something really wrong with me and that I’m not normal and it’s like I hate being at home like I feel like all my problems are there and when I’m out the house i feel a lot better and like a weight is lifted off my shoulders and I feel happier, the only thing that helps distract me from my harm ocd is going shopping or going to visit people like my aunty or my grandparents, socialising really helps me feel normal and when my ocd gets really bad I absolutely don’t want to be at home and the only way it gets better is if I do things I enjoy like shopping or visiting family and then I can calm down and start feeling like the ocd isn’t such a huge problem, but I’m not independent at all I’ve never been anywhere by myself and I’m too scared too, I was overprotected a lot and rely on my mum for everything so if she decides she doesn’t want to go out anywhere I start feeling really bad and we start arguing and I start crying and screaming and it feels like my body is being affected as well, like my hands get really hot when I get angry or one of my arms starts feeling pressure or like it gets hot and feels weird but it only happens in one arm when I’m like shouting and crying, or I feel a lot of strain in my head and one time my hand started swelling up when I was angry, she thinks I’m having tantrums because I want to spend all the time enjoying myself when In reality I’m just trying to do something to help myself forget about the ocd and I feel so unheard I keep telling her and explaining how I feel and she thinks I’m just having tantrums and tells me I’m being controlling and I’m selfish, but I’m suffering so much with this problem no one even knows and she thinks I’m just having tantrums because I want to go shopping and I just don’t know anymore I feel so trapped I don’t know where to turn

idk why but every dialogue or anything js about psycopaths, my class was about it, my mother was talking about it with someone, i saw a notification on twitter about it like WTF

Hey, i don’t know how to write this and make sense to anyone but could use some advice..So this guy and i were in a situationship for a long time and we both started feeling like we need a little time off or him or ig because he said he needs some time cause he is mentally going through something and I understand that well cause i am too so we decided to take some time off of eachother and be in no contact for a while and hopefully if the door is still open reconnect better and healed later if its gods will and both of us want it but i have strong feelings for him so it hasn't been yhe easiest to sit with the uncertainty of maybe we reconnect maybe we dont and this is the end or 1000 more thoughts and also i am scared and before we took the no contact decision this is a thing that happened cause things were a little off for quite sometime which led to the no contact..now i am someone who believes in god and I believe in his work now i don’t know whats his will but i am struggling i am absolutely crushed feeling and thinking about all this now my major concern is that what does god want this to be an open door? Or has he closed the door and I haven’t realised it? Or am I supposed to have faith that it will work sometime but what if it doesn’t he removed him cause it wasn’t from him? He sent him for my growth and my self healing journey but will never give it back to me? I messed up a lot of times in the relationship but then i dont know what god wants me is this a lesson is he supposed to last a season or is there wait that god is asking with this person? I cry to god and i beg to tell me if i am wanting the right person but i just don’t understand idk how the thought of someone else makes me feel.. and how even his thoughts make me feel i feel like i ask god is he right for me should i wait for him and i dont know what he says to me either its me manipulating my thoughts to make myself and god say yes but thats not true and if its a no or even a yes i will question it but if its a no i shouldn’t right? Like i dont know what to do i feel like i cant trust mu gut and intuition i dont know if i should keep hope and faith regarding this the relationship wasnt the best from both sides in the past so idk if holding on is right and what god has to say about it.. you can keep Praying for something but not receive it so i don’t understand what to do or feel about this I constantly keep thinking what god wants me to do and am overthinking this too? And then i see these bible reels and stories on instagram saying god will remove people from your life even if you dont want them to and i don’t understand will i keep feeling like this? This helpless and this hopeless about my situation i lose patience cause i think he is talking to other girls and doesn’t care about me and just used me and all that.. I started therapy too is that right? I have my exams i need to study i dont know how to keep these thoughts at bay to focus on that i keep begging god to tell me Whats right and whats wrong and i don’t understand what to do anymore like does he want this for me does he not will this be better will it not? What if he wants to remove this and i keep holding onto this as long and not recover or what if i don’t understand whats he trying to tell me? I can keep hoping and waiting and it never happens and the thought that it might not be gods will panics me it makes me think i might lose him but why do i need him is this really something more in terms of feelings for this guy or just pure attachment which i dont get now and i have started to feel anxious about it? Or am i not healed enough to have this in my life and if i am not okay with the maybe not then maybe thats whats gonna happen thats what god is teaching me right? What is gods will? What should i listen to? They say that you will hear it in you intuition and gut sometimes it says let go there are indications you should and sometimes it says hold on it might get better? What do i do? Can someone pls help me?

Im currently working on my depression and i have feelings that feels similar, and i keep thinking about my past. I found out that i felt some of them, i was really sensitive like i couldnt be alone without my mom or family members. When i was outside with people and my mom wasnt there i felt sad. And i dont know if that sad feeling was depression, but im wondering if i was depressed as a kid or i just was sensitive and bc of that i developed depression later. Anyway i have obsessive suicidal thoughts now, and while i was thinking about my past, a random memory of me saying to my mom something like "yall would be happy if i would be dead" or something like this and i was like "did this really happened?" I cant decide if its just my mind or it really happened. I remember that once my mind tricked me by believing something is happened before while not, but i cant decide this one.

today has been overwhelming to say the least. I have contamination ocd and have been stressing about everything lately. i just started taking meds for it and this week, it almost feels like the meds aren't even working. I know it takes time for meds to work but last week, I felt better than i do now. I dropped my phone on my desk, not the ground, but I had the same instinctual reaction to dropping it on my desk as i did the floor. I have been delaying my compulsions to wipe my phone or my hands. it is so difficult. So difficult. Is it supposed to feel this awful? I want it to pass. I want to not give into this.

I had some bad days currently but that means that it cant get worse🥲 so stay strong.

Hi guys, I want to share my current insight on Health anxiety related to heart palpitations. I am experiencing more peace with my heartbeat after doing more and more exposures, so that's the positive news. I have several experiences of being exposed to situations I fear and ending them without fear. Still sometimes I get an intrusive thought about my heart and my system launches adrenaline immediatly. Then heart palpitations come accompinied by strong emotions and that the cycle wants to reinforce itself constantly. Intrusion -> Automatic reaction of fear -> Physical sensations -> Fear of the sensations -> physicial sensations and so on. And this becomes a self-fulfilling loop. My compulsions are mainly trying to avoid the feelings by cramping my body, distract myself or try to judge it, which all doesn't work. I think I'm doing well, only with allowing all the sensations and feelings, they're are accompinied with a lot of other emotions as well. It's more for me than just overcoming the fear, it's processing and letting go of a 13 year build of all kind of related emotions. Even though I really may let it go in order to go on and live life again.

I love this show but I can be so triggering sometimes lol, if anyone who has seen it there is this part where Daphne is talking to Anthony about Edwina asking what he feels for her and so on, it triggered me and I thought about this ex fling bc I had those feelings of infatuation with him but it was most definitely not mutual lol. That whole relationship was basically me trying to get self validation as well and when I look back at it now I would’ve stopped giving that man attention after the first red flag. I never really had that deep infatuation/passionate stage w my now bf, which is fine. What I feel with my boyfriend is safeness, security, and love. Just not that crazy love that Daphne described lol. I just felt guilty for even thinking about my past fling when she brought it up.

Every time I’ve gone to the doctor to go on medication for my OCD I have a horrible day after and absolutely freak out about all the side effects that I might have and haven’t ever been able to convince myself to actually start taking them. Today I was prescribed Paxil, if anyone’s taken it can you please let me know your experience? It would help me a lot. I am also trying to see if Zoloft might be better, the side effects of Paxil just scare me to death.

Can ocd make you “feel” like you’re changing your mind about your intrusive thoughts like they don’t scare you anymore ? That’s scaring me I don’t want to add meaning to it

Wish me luck. This should be fun

Anyone else feel great in the morning for just a little and then BAM your mind latches onto something and now your whole day is surrounded by that thought and feeling of dread. So tired of this.

I hate that part of my brain in a passion

Does anyone feel like their OCD is a conversation between two brains? It’s like you know what you want to think but you can’t stop the intrusive thoughts? Then it feels like you are thinking these on purpose and trying to trick people. I know deep down I am not, but this is so tiring.

After never experiencing any symptoms of OCD my whole life can the onset start at age 60????

Does ROCD cause false memories? To me it seems like the heavier your thoughts the worse it gets, and false memories set in.

Does anyone else grieve for who they used to be? I feel like I can’t bounce back anymore. I’ve taken a partial leave from work when I used to be a high performer. I feel like everyone resents me because I am only doing half time when the team is so busy, and I can barely concentrate or get things done. Trying to focus on healing though. Anyone have tips for overcoming this feeling?

My husband aged 39 died to suicide in September last year, leaving me alone with 5 children. We'd been together 20 years since teenagers. He developed an addiction to cocaine and prescription drugs after 13 years together when he was in his 30s. Really random as he was tea total before. Anyway my grief has been horrendous lately, the realisation he isn't coming back. He was my best friend and sole mate. I don't agree with drugs, so kicked him out hoping he'd change. Our relationship turned toxic in 2018 due to all the fights about him lying regarding drugs. I threw a mug at him and he left me calling me a psycho, he randomly added loads of girls on Facebook telling them they were attractive. He invited himself round to ones house and basically ran me down to her and she said he was off his face and made him leave. A counsellor told me drug addicts do all kinds of things in the grips of addiction they seek solace and support all over the place and told me to see it as part of a bigger problem ( drugs) in which he needed help. I stool by his side and he did get better for the next 4 years, he went to AA and had periods of sobriety. He returned to his lovely self, and was ashamed of everything he'd done in the past. He was always a great husband and father prior to addiction. He text me the night he died, saying to remember whatever happened to know he loved me and the kids more than anything. It was too late by the time I got help. Now I'm trying to process everything, people keep saying to remember the person before addiction. I have ocd and for some reason I've developed the thought he could have cheated on me in the past before addiction. Although I have absolutely no evidence. A girl I disliked years ago told my friend she didn't know what my husband seen in me as he was so good looking and I was irritating. So I blanked her next time she tried to speak. She then told me she seen my husband in our car with a girl with dark hair. I confronted my husband over this at the time and he phoned her to ask why she was lying. She said she wasn't sure it was definitely him but seen our baby on board sticker on the car window. Anyway he looked like he was telling the truth. And later she accused another friends husband of sexual assault. On my hen night walking home my niece took my bride to be sash off me and wore it. My sister said a group of girls walked past and said I've slept with the brides husband. We were all drunk so I never thought about it. Plus I trusted my husband impeccably. I thought my sister could have misheard, it could be my niece, they could have been joking. Basically all these things happened 17 and 14 years ago. My husband rarely went out, I would check his phone and all he used to look up was sport. He didn't ever act guilty or nothing to indicate an affair. All his friends said he was a proper family man. I always think cheating comes out in the end anyway and we live in a small town. A lot of people say I'm doing this to try and stop the grief by painting him out to be an adulterer. I'm so upset with it all. I want to be able to grieve but now I have this in my mind it's making it hard. My ocd is making me phone family and friends to ask if they think he cheated, everyone has said no. He loved me too much and wasn't that type of person. But as soon as I feel reassured my head starts thinking that I'm being stupid there is two clear cases of evidence and I dismissed them over the years. My therapist said there's no evidence as it's both hearsay and hearsay isn't evidence. I really don't think he would ever have cheated before I remembered these two stupid things. I'd like to think I'd have trusted my gut, my gut at the time would never suspected him. Help please.

Stuck in a complete cycle of rumination fear and guilt. Scared I’ve done something terrible even though I don’t remember physically doing anything. At the time I had no idea about OCD so I just had straight thought action fusion. Feel like it’s too late

Does anyone else, when you are doing better, you'll get an intruisve thought and you literally feel youself falling into a spiral again? Like you feel all the anxiety signs rushing back etc.

Hey so i had a pretty bad night and i gave in and did compulsions, i feel really bad about it im also very tired and did not get much sleep. I feel like i should take the day and just rest up and not do the intensional triggers. But i also dont want to do that if it really hurts me in the long run. Im very tired and very anxious and distressed, looking for advice as for how to approach today.

i had a dream last night that i was out shopping and then a girl i used to go to school with and haven’t talked to in years or even thought about in years came up to me and she was like hey and then started asking if there was any lucky girls or if i had a gf or something along those lines and then i was taken off guard and was like oh um i actually have a bf and then it seemed like she didn’t believe me so i started showing her pictures of him. i could feel in the dream how anxiety inducing that was and my mind started going: am i lying to myself? can other people see something i can’t about myself? and i remember in the dream i wanted to ask her and be like why did you ask about girls and not guys? like what abt me made you ask that? it’s just so frustrating i can’t even get away from my mind in dreams. i know dreams don’t have much correlation with our actual day to day lives but this is sending me down a spiral and i feel so nauseous. because a question in my brain constantly is “what if i’m just lying to myself? what if i’m doing all these things to prove to others i’m straight?” at the same time the dream doesn’t bother me because i know deep down who i am and who i like so it just means nothing to me and it was a blip in my brain but at the same time i can feel myself trying not to freak out.

I’ve noticed recently that while practicing an exposure, my anxiety decreases but I end up just kind of feeling sad. Like feeling some grief around the fact that I can’t have 100% certainty about my fears. Has anyone else experienced this?

terrified of being home alone ——— hi, so i know i’m not frequently on this app because lots of things have calmed down in the course of a few months and just over the past 2 years. but i seriously think i am showing signs and symptoms of checking ocd which has already been advised to my therapist. now , i want to give a little backstory as to what’s even going on. i hope someone has gone through similar things and can give me advice. about 8-10 months ago i was working from home 4 days a week with my other job and i loved it. i still live with my parents i’m 20 and throughout the week they sometimes just have to run errands . i don’t remember having this fear of being alone or being anxious about them leaving until around september last year-ish. i started another job which i’ve been with since october of last year and i work COMPLETELY remote. i would say around this time is where i started to become absolutely terrified of being alone. i believe some of the m^rders and just overall bad stories and events (school sh^^tings here in texas) just freaked me out. so fast foward to now the anxiety has just gotten worse. i get up every 5-10 mins checking to see if there’s someone’s at the door or around the house and if i hear even the slightest noise i nearly have a panic attack and start crying. i have to call my mom and dad constantly while she’s away or else i don’t feel safe. the only time i’m ok is if someone else is here. otherwise i’m a mess and check the door and windows 50-60 times every hour and keep monitoring my surroundings. we’ve lived here almost 17 years and nothing like a break in has happened and i remember back when i was 12 and 13 and would have to be alone (didn’t have a phone) and loved it and actually wanted to be home alone. idk how to beat this. it’s wearing me down and i’m getting super tired of having this much anxiety anytime my parents leave the house.

I want to share my whole story so I vent it a little bit and maybe someone here will know how to help me. Like 3 years ago I had episode of feeling crazy when I needed to reassure myself I am not going crazy. After taking antidepressants it slowly subsided and I forgot about that. I decided to stop taking medication after some time and than everything hapenned again. 7 months ago I was working outside when suddenly I had thought about that I am hallucinating, it scared me and I immediately thought that my OCD is relapsing. Since then (already 7 months) I suffer daily with something I can not quite describe and even help myself with. I do not feel like myself I feel like my personality has gone away. Nobody noticed anything even closest one to me but I do not know how to describe that. I am having thoughts all day that make it impossible for me to concentrate, remember or recall things. No matter what I do I am having random thoughts popping inside my head. I know thoughts are random but it feels like I am disconnected from my thoughts and my thoughts feel strange to me even though when I reassure myself with other people they tell me they are normal and that they also have such thoughts. I feel crazy my mind is constantly bombarding me with thoughts that I am already delusional or developing something else than OCD and my mind is also telling me that I will never recover because I am unable to control my brain or think straight. After visiting my doctor many times and talking to him he always told me they are just thoughts and he priscribed me prozac and clomipramine which I am taking now. He told me it is mild case of OCD because I am still functional. But I feel like even after taking benzos that something is wrong with me and my thinking all the time. Like I am unable to feel like myself and relaxed for single second. All the time I am thinking about things I deep down know are not true but can not change myself to think anything else or help myself out of this doom. I fear that I will slowly lose touch with reality and develop schizophrenia or something else. For you to better understand what I am going through: I am for example eating my foot and I get a thought that I am still functional, right after that I decide to go do something and I have thought that I am already crazy and out of reality and I immediately feel that way. I tell myself it is just thought and something else random comes to my mind for example I will never be same as before and that I need therapist as soon as possible or I will go mad. Sometimes I am lying down and trying to relax when I suddenly get a thought that I am getting slowly worse and that I am not realising that and I scare myself and try to reassure myself and check if I was feeling better or worse before. Also my mind is always checking about stupid things. For example I say confifently hello to someone and my mind goes back to "going crazy" topic and it goes full random mode. Often I fear to ask normal things because I fear I am acting strange even though nobody never noticed anything even slightly odd. I HOPE SOMEBODY KNOWS WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT HERE AND MAYBE GONE THROUGH SOMETHING SAME. WISH YOU LUCK !

Is it possible that during a 'real life crisis, your OCD theme can take a step back and you can stop yourself from thinking about your theme?

Guys, can someone help me? I want to go to therapy in my own country, the therapist seems to be pretty solid. But I feel like OCD is not as well understood as it is in the US. Every time I search it online in my own language they mainly talk about cleanliness compulsions. My fear is that the therapist will not have the knowledge to draw a diagnosis and this will be further proof that my themes are true.

i'm starting to experience trouble with this situation again. i feel like my ocd is making me feel major guilt even though its not that bad of a situation. when i was 14 (i'm 17) i was holding my baby cousin and i went to sit down so now they were sitting on my lap. i pulled them up on my lap from the crotch area, unintentionally. but then i think my head registered that had touched the crotch area then had an intrusive thought ( maybe something like "touch the area again because of the area" or "or that's the closest you've been" very gross but i don't remember exactly what it was that's just a product of rumination)to repeat the action tap the front of the diaper again (i definitely think the intrusive thought came because of the area), and i didn't want it to look weird there were others) or be in an inappropriate way because i understood that it was the crotch. but in my head at the time it didn't seem so serious because they had on a diaper, I was just trying to complete the "task" the intrusive thought gave me. but i pulled them up again as a way of completing the intrusive thought, and my aunt came and picked him up and naturally my ocd assumed that it was because of the intrusive thought. and i remember thinking "i didn't mean any harm, didn't mean to be inappropriate", and i went over there to see if she would pull him away from me (because i felt bad). anyways she took him to just play, i felt bad for a little but i let the situation go because i knew i had no malice. but now i can't let it go, because my head is saying that i did have bad intentions and that i knew it was wrong. but i don't think i thought the action through, plus he had on a diaper so i think that's also why i didn't think much of it. i feel terrible about it now, and i know would never purposely do any harm. i just think at the time the full picture never occurred to me. but now my head is telling me how can i live with myself knowing this, and i've told friends and i thought they wouldn't wanna be my friend anymore, but they told me they know i would never cause harm.

I am really struggling with intrusive sexual thoughts right now. I know I’m tired and mentally vulnerable which is almost always a trigger but this is so frustrating. Does anyone have any advice for how to combat this?

I am in the middle of a family crisis and also embarking on ERP. I have been asked to keep a fear diary for my next session but my head is all over the place and OCD has almost disappeared. I still get the odd intrusive thought but it's about not having OCD and not the theme that had been tormenting me for the last month's)years. Is it normal for OCD to step back when you have a very 'real' problem that is consuming all of your waking hours? This is causing me to feel an OCD fraud and I'm almost getting OCD about not being affected by my usual theme during this family crisis. Any advice?

waking up the last few days with my mind racing and anxiety makes me wonder why it didn’t happen today and now i’m worried like what’s going on. idk if it is just me that is like this or what.

I’ve been at my lowest for a few weeks now and I can’t handle it anymore. Any suggestions on how to cope w it?

hey everyone Is there anyone who’s not diagnosed but knows that you have OCD like I’m not diagnosed but I’m struggling so bad and I know that I have: thank u

Sometimes i get scared that i said or even sang something without knowing it. Then i obsess about it. how can i get better at not doubting myself?

So I’ve been having this worry about ‘liking the feeling’ of imagining doing that intrusive thought for a long time (the thoughts are about smothering) and I’ve been going through this for so long now I will have times where I focus on other things and stop caring for a few weeks and then it comes back and I’m worrying all over again, I keep crying and feeling angry that I’m going through this and agitated and having outbursts because of this. It’s gotten to the point where it feels like it’s true, like I’m actually believing that it and it’s scary. It feels like I know how it feels to ‘smother’ someone/a cat and now I like how it feels to do that action (squashing them and stopping them from breathing) sorry that sounds horrible i know, and that I liked the feeling of doing that and now I’m worrying that since it feels like I ‘like the feeling’ I’m worried that I’m the future I will want to do that or it feels almost like it’s inevitable and it’s really scary and I’m worried that I will definitely want to ‘feel that feeling’ of doing that since I ‘like the feeling’ but it’s like at the same time that it feels like ‘I like the feeling’ I also get shudders and anxiety and electric shock feeling when I imagine the thoughts but sometimes when I imagine the thought it feels like I like the feeling and it’s really confusing and scary. Also when I stopped ruminating on it for a few weeks when I finally did have a thought it felt like I was more anxious over it and hated it but the more I think about it the less anxious I become and the more it feels like ‘I like the feeling’ it doesn’t 100% feel like that but it feels like I’m believing that I will actually be bad in the future because my brain thinks Of scenarios in the future where I’m evil and it feels like I actually would be or that I would ‘give in’ and like the feeling and it’s scary. I mean it’s not possible to like the feeling of doing something evil (like that smothering thing) and have a conscience is it? (Please tell me it isn’t possible) I’ve been thinking what if after ruminating a lot now I’ve discovered that I like the feeling of smothering but I have a conscience but I’m the future I will end up doing it anyway because I ‘like the feeling’ 😞 the only other thing I can think of is it seems as if I’ve stopped experiencing ‘urges’ at the start of having this problem I knew that I hated the thoughts and I use to get unwanted intrusive thoughts constantly and it use to feel like an ‘urge’ to suddenly lash out and act on the thoughts, at that time the thoughts were about strangling, so I use to worry that I would like the feeling of doing that or like the feeling of putting my hands around someone’s neck and I was scared to go anywhere near or touch someone’s neck but because I never deliberately imagined that to ‘test’ myself it never felt like ‘I liked the feeling’ of imagining doing that because I never ruminated on it but with these smothering thoughts because I kept getting intrusive thoughts about doing that I started testing myself by imagining doing that to see how I would react and instead it felt like I liked the feeling of imagining doing that? But now I’m thinking maybe I haven’t stopped feeling the ‘urges’ maybe this thing where when I imagine the thought it feels like I ‘want to’ or ‘like the feeling’ is the ‘urges’ but I’ve stopped thinking that it feels like an ‘urge’ and instead I’m thinking it’s me actually wanting to do that? Another scary thing is I keep thinking even if I forget about all this I get this horrible feeling/thought that I will still end up acting on it anyways despite not liking the thoughts because it feels like I like the feeling and that’s literally ingrained in my mind now I’m worried no matter how much I try to forget about it it will still become a reality and at some point in the future I will end up doing that, cause it feels like how can I be going through this for over a year now and I’m not actually evil? How can I be constantly ruminating on this and believing it for it all to be a lie? It feels almost like it’s inevitable now and it will actually happen, even in the future that I will ‘give in’ and it’s horrible. I feel so confused and exhausted, I felt so much better and more free when I wasn’t dwelling on it a few weeks ago but now it feels like a huge problem that I’m entangled in and like I’m trapped, especially since it’s a ‘feeling’ involved it feels even more real, because it actually feels like I like the feeling, I can’t explain it but it’s not like I’m worried ‘I like the thoughts or idea of doing that’ it feels like I know how it feels to squash someone with the pillow and stop the from breathing and that I like the feeling of doing that (I know that sounds so horrible I don’t even like writing that out) but I just feel so confused and then I’m having Thai horrible thing where it feels like I’m about to smile or secretly happy/smiling inside when I’m talking about my problem. I woke up this morning and I feel so exhausted, I’m on my period as well I think That’s why I started worrying again as well, and I was on a diet before I started going through this and it was going well giving myself something to focus on and now I’ve been binge eating a lot like comfort eating because this problem is stressing me out a lot, also yesterday when I was crying about this problem I hit myself , not hard (it’s not serious) but it’s like I get so frustrated I took it out on myself, or I will like hit the wall with my hand, honestly I don’t know what to do, I wish I could be saved from this

I have done horrible things im horrible i have horrible thoughts and feelings. This is real

I don’t know what to do. Psychiatrist I’ve been to have been so unhelpful about medication side effects. Every antidepressant I’ve been on makes me soo exhausted to where it’s hard to function. I was on cymbalta which made me happy & bright back passion in my life for the first time in over a decade and I was stupid and got off of it b/c I was so tired. It took me over a year to feel like a human again even after restarting it b/c I was so depressed off it and it doesn’t have the same effect now that I’m on it again. I am depressed & have been on the meds again for over two years. I told my psychiatrist this and he said “I’ve never heard of that.” Really?? I really don’t like or trust mental health professionals after all the sh*t I’ve been through with mental illness the past 17 years. It’s like I have to choose between being happy and being able to function in normal society. The meds also have sexual side effects and I don’t even know for sure if depression is biochemical or not so am j supposed to be on antidepressants for ever? I have ocd and depression by the way.

I am worried one day my fears will project on my kids and hurt them

When selecting my ocd struggles I couldn't find one that fit aside from "making others sick" which im not scared of. Until recently everyone passed it off as germaphobia, I freak out touching or my stuff being touched by something I see as dirty

Just in case you needed to see something soft and sweet right now. His name is Chance. :) I know a lot of people are going through intense shifts in their lives. With relationships and personal goals. I am just really really grateful for this place. I get scared of the world being "mean" and not understanding, which is a persistent worry I've been working on for a long time. But I really, really do feel listened to on this website. I feel like everyone is very patient with each other even if they themselves are in a pressure cooker in their personal lives. Even if they're struggling they still reach out to help. I appreciate it a lot. After I was diagnosed with OCD, something my counselor taught me was that GRATITUDE is the opposite of worry!! And IT'S TRUE!!! So try your best to take each day by the horns, and express gratitude when you can, because it won't magically change your mental illness, but it can help you feel some peace, especially in dire moments.

Has anyone else been having bad derealisation whilist having bad ocd intrusive thoughts

Guys I don’t know what to do, my boyfriend says he doesn’t want to be me with me anymore because I abused him emotionally and I didn’t know It. When he would make a mistake I would be really upset because it would either make me cry or feel some type of way so I would blow things out of proportion and be petty as a result. But now he’s saying I abused him over these years and he doesn’t want to be with me. That he doesn’t feel anything when I cry. I can’t take that. I love him so much I’ve always just loved him?? I just responded badly to our problem and I fixed how I responded but now he just doesn’t care anymore.

I got an intrusive thought about someone in my past why would I say that I love my bf with all my heart and he knows I gotten intrusive thoughts about people from my past I feel so bad he said he overthinks every night I feel like a horrible girlfriend but i don’t know what to do

My ocd is now struck up on something someone said which isn't relevant to my theme but now it's making connection to my theme and I'm tending to ruminate on it? How do I stop ruminating?

My boyfriend was my first but I wasn’t his. We’ve been together for 3 years and it never bother me up until a year ago for some reason. I started to develop retroactive jealousy and would ask pretty much daily if I was the only person he did this with or that with. And I still probably ask questions every week and it’s been around a year. I’ve listened to podcasts and tried to stop the thoughts. For some reason my brain won’t let me believe that the people he has experience with in the past don’t compare to me like he says, and it’s hard because I don’t know what it’s like to have other experiences besides him. Anyone else??

I’ve been so bloody stressed and now I just feel like I’m in a bubble

Is it normal to have intrusive thoughts about some else around me being a bad person and harming others?

for anyone with rocd: do you find it easier to lose yourself in your relationship? for example, it’s really hard for me to wanna be alone and do my own activities because i feel guilty and like a bad gf or like i don’t love my bf. how do you help yourself with this?

Is it common for harm/suicidal ocd to have your brain telling you that you might decide to prove to people that you can act out your intrusive thoughts? Im really worried about these thoughts cause I don’t want to harm myself/others if I have a choice. I feel like I’m the only one having these thoughts 😭 Does anyone else have these thoughts too?😭

I feel like I’ll be scarred for life from all of this

I have OCD making me think things, feel and believe things, I have my own personal thoughts, feelings and beliefs and as a Saved Christian I also feel God sometimes speaks to me, not in words, but through a thought or a feeling. Sometimes it honestly feels l have three people talking to me, OCD, God and Myself. (Although God does not speak to me often, sometimes I feel a thought I have or a feeling occassionally comes from Him.) I get terribly confused and frustrated. Sometimes I wish I could just make all the voices (not literal auditory voices, i mean thoughts) even my own voice in my head stop for a while. I get so tierd of thinking. I truly believe I may have ADHD, because my thinking never stops, unless Im watching TV or listening to music but then Im usually thinking about things related to what Im watching or listening to. I know I have bipolar disorder which can cause rapid thoughts when Im manic and if I have ADHD, well add OCD thinking to my other mental health illnesses and they all 3 create a personal hell that I cannot escape from. Can anyone tell me a way to just make everything in my mind silent, and sit and think about nothing, just empty my mind and stsre at a wall for even a few minutes? I have only been able to do that for maybe 30 seconds to a minute, but it was a great feeling that I have rarley got to experience. I WOULD APPRECIATE ANY ADVICE, I am desperate for quietness in my mind.

How soon do people usually see progress after starting ERP. I have seen some people talk about how they’ve been in ERP for two + years and I can’t afford more than a month and a half of therapy at 2 sessions a week.

This is very specific but can ocd re-frame the intrusive thoughts to make it seem like a "genuine desire" of yours?Mine keeps telling me that I'd be more "liberated" if I took a part in my intrusive thoughts.... for the record, I consider myself a feminist, and my intrusive thoughts say "this is the only way to be liberated/ be authentic" 🤢😒

I do and it always has to do with my video games.