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Does this ever really goes away?????

I started taking citalopram around 2 weeks ago and my ocd has definitely been flaring up. Has anyone else experienced this?

Just did a big exposure and watched a lot of “ I thought I was straight until x” videos of women in hetero relationships realizing they were lesbians in their 20s and 30s and I’m so scared and uncertain. I feel like I would actually be insane to have made up all the feelings I have felt for men consistently over the years, and I’m simultaneously afraid I’m bi and just don’t know/can’t figure it out. Today is hard and a day when I feel like I don’t have ocd and I might just be lying.

Why is it when I feel love that’s when I know I love him!? But when I don’t feel love it’s like I really don’t love him at all…. 😞 it’s like I confirmed I don’t love him… but answering all theses questions my friend asked me showed me I still love him. But I am worried about not being in love… 😞 but when I feel love more I really do know I love him a and want to stay.

So my partner and I fought all day yesterday and some harsh things were said out of anger obviously. But ever since then my brain is just going on loops about breaking up with him and I can’t see out of it. Kind of struggling because it feels like I want it

I hate social media. Ran across a video on accident about measuring someone’s gayness and some guy said 2 and I was like oh I’m less than that and I said one but I should’ve said zero because I’m not gay at all! And now I keep happily saying two or even but I’m not two or 3 I’m in the negatives! What does it say about me that I said 1 I’m not actually gay at all! I am 0% goddamit

Please only adults read . . . This is so hard for me to get over. Months ago my husband and I were intimate. I wasn't in the mood but I did it for him since it had been a while. I get pocd intrusive thoughts so I avoid it a lot. This will be tmi but He was touching me for a while and I felt nothing. Wasn't getting in the mood Moments later i got an intrusive of my son's hand being there instead of my husband's. It wasn't an image and it was such a quick thought but I felt something down there. So I was like what?! What does this mean. But I focused to see if the feeling would go away. Then as my husband continued touching me I kept getting more in the mood. And we ended up continuing. I get intrusives happen during and right at the end but before you even get in the mood as your partner is trying to get you in the mood? It doesn't seem right to me.

It’s funny because when I wake up I’m feeling really bad but then I calm down during the day , and the next day it’s the same cycle over again , everything involving men can be a trigger for me

** TW ** Guys I’m reaching out for help. Has Anyone experience this I work closing shifts. And for the past three or four days I’ve been taking Flexeril to help me sleep which is a muscle relaxer that sometimes can cause abnormal thinking and dreaming like on its own let alone with OCD‘s help. But I didn’t take a muscle relaxer last night. Last night I took a full dose of Tylenol p.m. And I fell asleep around 1:30 AM maybe? And my sleep was fine I had no dreams but I woke up Max 10 minutes ago probably less to use the restroom and I’m scared because I imagined for whatever reason I really jerky guy and a girl and I was panicking because like I had to tell him myself to chant that I don’t wanna kiss the girl but for whatever reason I was comparing that person to the jerky guy but I don’t even know who he is by the way. This isn’t really a dream this was like right before I fully woke up by opening my eyes. And I said in my own voice so to speak if you know what I mean that I would but I don’t want to kiss the girl and now my heart is pounding in my palms are sweating. I’d rather kiss of horrible mean guy than a nice girl I don’t want girls. No matter how nice or supposedly good looking I don’t like thinking good looking because I don’t see them like that. And now I can’t stop thinking when I don’t want the way a woman’s anatomy looks in any state I don’t like the way they hang and I want guys and pectorals to come back

Why is soocd so confusing?? Anyone else’s OCD just bring up past experiences and make you believe that it could mean you’re the opposite sexual orientation you are? I identify as a straight female but in the past I had thoughts I could have been bi so it made me think I was even though I’ve never actually liked a girl? Idk. I’m so confused. I’m not attracted to women, I’ve always been super boy crazy. I just feel super alone in this regardless of all the similar experiences other people go through. I can’t watch tv, work is really hard because I have to talk to other women, certain clothes trigger me, hanging out with friends is hard, being lovey to my boyfriend is hard, even looking at myself is hard. I don’t feel like me. I’m just so confused and so lost. My OCD really sparked back in October and since it’s just gotten progressively worse. I have therapy today, and I’m looking forward to it. Anxiety and OCD is so hard. It effects me of every moment of every day, in everything I do. Im just so tired. Anyone have exposures that may help with this??

Anyone with HOCD struggling to open up to family members in fear that it means you are “coming out,” even though you don’t not want to have these thoughts? I have kept all of my intrusive thoughts in and want to open up to my family but I know it will make them look at me differently because these thoughts go against our values and have never been something I have had before. My biggest fear is that by sharing this with them and beginning my ERP that these thoughts will become true, which is the last thing I want.

Me and my partner have been together for almost 3 years now. We live together and own a pet together and haven’t encountered many major problems except for some bad arguing, but we’ve always gotten through it. I went out one night and danced (physical touch involved) and flirted with another man. I didn’t cheat but I crossed a line I felt sick with guilt and confessed everything. He took it really well and understood everything I was saying, though he was hurt and angry - he said he just needs some time, I guess to process it? He said we’ll be okay, our relationship will be fine and nothing is going to change and he still loves me, he’s just not exactly going to feel warm to me right now. This whole situation, however, led me on to confess on more examples of me being flirty with other men. One time I was out and a similar situation occurred, not as bad, I didn’t physically dance with him. I also had a flirty relationship with a work colleague - it was never anything bad and I also worked with his girlfriend but he once messaged me and he must’ve been being very flirty (again, I don’t think it was anything crossing lines) and I flirted back, but then I deleted the messages which was bad, but I told my boyfriend this too. I suffer with OCD, which makes me overthink, so now any situation or example of me being disrespectful that I remember, even if they’re not awful and he doesn’t need to know, or even if I can’t remember them fully, I feel this insatiable need to confess. If I don’t tell him straight away it eats me alive for hours and even if I can convince myself for an hour or so that it’s okay, it’s not a big deal and probably not worth him knowing, I still convince myself to tell him, which I think is making matters worse. Basically, I’m seeking reassurance and I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know what to do, I feel I’m stuck in an endless cycle of confessions, it’s driving me insane. It’s affecting our relationship more than the actual actions are. Please, can anyone help?

ITS REALLY LONG SORRY BUT IF SOMEONE HAS TIME OR WANT TO HELP ME, I WOULD BE HAPPY :) This is my 3rd post about this,sorry... I still not understand what is the difference between Suicidal ideations and feelings, and Suicidal Ocd... Everyone write down both things differently, like i understand the first thing is that you feel that you want to kill yourself, but there is the "ideation" where you just think that bc you feel hopeless but you dont want to do it and youre affraid of it and feel shame that you have. And suicidal ocd is the same, you have thoughts about suicide, youre affraid of it and you feel shame. Like i understand that planning your death is a different thing, i would count that as suicidal behavior and danger, but when you have thought about it then you feel affraid of it and even shame that you think like that bc you dont want to do it, then i would say that that sounds like ocd... like when i was almost healed from anxiety, i had really good days and still sometimes my mind randomly imagined that i hurt myself and when i felt good i didnt cared about it but when i felt bad i started to question why i have these and if i have ocd or im really suicidal, and when i said that its just ocd i felt better and i wasnt affraid that i will do it... but after months its still here and im still confused what i have. I know i struggled with meaning and i felt hopeless about things in the months but what if hopeless can trigger suicidal ocd? What if that thoughts was just ocd thoughts and the feelings are to bc when i felt them i always knew that they are bad and wrong, but lets say these random feeling of wanting to die isnt ocd but what i read about it on the net, this isnt suicidal behavior, this dont means that you will kill yourself, nearly everyone has thoughts like they want to die when things seems like hopeless, but that goes away with time. And i think that i had this but then the random thoughts and images of hanging myself and hurting myself was ocd bc while or few seconds after that i felt wrong for thinking it, i was affraid "what if i do it, what if i lose my mind and will do it" and i remember when was so sensitized bc of the fight with my mind, i even had a thought that everything would be better if i would die, it would be better for me too, and after that imediately everything went away and i thought "why you think this? Whats wrong with you man, this is bad" and i think that if someone is really suicidal, he or she wont have this reaction. I could give more exemples like the feeling of the urge to do what the thoughts says but ocd has the same too, so i will end it here bc its to long now, but yeah share your opinions, what you think, bc it seems like Suicidal ideations(not planning) are suicidal ocd if you feel bad about it and youre affraid of it...and you can even convince yourself that youre planning your death or you want to die bc before that i never had that but when i read about this planning, i was like oh i did not have that, then im safe, and my mind was like "did you really? What if you will have?" And since then i have intrusive thought that i planned in the past or that im planning my death... so yeah its a really confusing thing...

Can someone please help I’m really struggling with my rocd i keep getting these images of me breaking up with my bf and the feelings of wanting to feel so real and it’s giving me so much anxiety. I was so in love with him last week then when these thoughts and images came in it feels like my feelings have gone and it’s upsetting me so much

TW POCD and REAL EVENT OCD… Adults only (18+) I’m so desperate at this point for help I don’t know what else to do. I’ve tried accepting uncertainty and it’s not working. I made a huge mistake in the past (about 4 or 5 years ago) and I didn’t realize at the time it was wrong until much later. I used to have a tickling fetish and I don’t understand why, I’m not even gonna go into that but because it’s an everyday ordinary thing that people do, when I would look up the fetish on ifunny, videos and memes would come up because I searched the fetish, nothing else. I would NEVER look up anything so terrible hopefully you know what I’m talking about so I don’t have to go into detail but it’s something very bad that people come across and people with POCD, including myself, have a HUGE fear of ever coming across it. Unfortunately as a teen I didn’t realize what I was looking at or whatever was wrong I was just in it for the fetish itself. I was just scrolling through and if it had to do with stupid tickling then I would watch it, while ya know? Maybe the laughter I don’t know but my mind keeps telling me it’s the same thing as the really bad thing because as a teen and looking up the fetish, masturbation was involved unfortunately and I feel so much guilt, shame, self-loathing and pain because of this and I truly hope it wasn’t in the same category as the really bad thing because it was just normal videos and pictures that a normal person would be like, awwww that’s cute or whatever but for me because I was younger and it had to do with the stupid fetish, it didn’t even cross my mind and now I’m really beating myself up for it. I would do ANYTHING to go back and change things. I honestly wish I never had the stupid fetish in the first place if anything it’s so embarrassing to even talk about I just think maybe if someone was going through something similar and I’m able to help them or even myself then that’s ok because I want to help people. I hate myself I just wish I wasn’t so stupid back then. I’ve been told many times to let it go but it’s hard when my mind keeps telling me I’m a horrible monster who needs to be punished. I will never, ever be interested or ever want anything to do with someone younger especially a kid. It’s disgusting and wrong. I would rather give up than it become true. I hate it. With a passion. So please if anyone can read this and possibly lead me in the right direction or give me some advice, I would truly appreciate it. Thank you

Is it possible to still have involuntary thoughts without any anxiety? And would this be considered on the way to recovery without all the pain and fear feelings?

Just kind of an ERP vent. Anyone wanna talk about this experience? It’s bumming me out. So I’ve been doing ERP exercises daily to help myself get over this theme. I started out with ERP towards the gender I have had intrusive thoughts about (men), and it helped knock out a lot of the intrusive stuff and false attractions, but working on my ERP towards women has been rather difficult. I’m still getting mental blocks. I’m trying to expose myself to them and get over false anxiety and other negative false emotions. It’s worked, but it feels like I’m stuck right now. Anyone else getting frustrated? I know ERP is a process, but it feels like it’s taking absolutely forever. Anyone wanna talk / vent about ERP frustrations?

Hey women of SO-OCD is this normal/have you experienced this? (Not excluding men it’s just a perspective thing, feel free to jump in) ** POTENTIAL TRIGGER WARNING ** I’ve been taking Flexeril for the past 3-4 days. That by itself can cause abnormal thinking and draining. So I guess it would just add fuel to the fire of my OCD. But I don’t know I’m scared I’m hoping it’s OCD but I keep thinking of boobs particularly pointy ones and how they stick out at the chest cavity and I was scared because I keep smiling and feeling really funny in my brain And but are protesting saying but I like but I don’t like it why would I protesting I like it both when I don’t like it both ways and I definitely don’t like boobs but I’m frightened that patrols are going away and I don’t like it both ways at all except it’s just a SMILING the fact that I’m protesting saying otherwise scares me! I don’t care if there’s nothing wrong with it I don’t want this I want oops go away I’m not by petrels not huge growth over the belt ones but I’m scared I make faces like I don’t even but I do like dick and I don’t want boobs and I don’t understand why I would protest saying but I I don’t like the way I said it the way I protested the tone I have. It was like whining and a huge smile on my face but I like it I don’t like it I know I feel worse when I say that I don’t but I don’t actually like it both ways and I don’t like boobs and I keep saying is not supposed to I don’t care what I’m supposed to do I’ve never cared what I’m supposed to do my mom to tell you that. But it’s a :-) and then we are way I feel saying but I like And now I’m smiling thinking of women naked doing it because I’ve seen it and I don’t like it both ways so why do I feel like I’m choking I don’t so why am I saying these things has anyone experienced this? I DONT LIKE IT. I’m scared I’ve never always like boys and Petros I’ve never like boobs I keep thinking of the bones in the nipples and I’m smiling like I don’t wanna do it and I’m smiling when I say it when I say don’t like I mean otherwise but I don’t wanna the bumps on her on the ring around a woman’s nipple I don’t know what it’s called I don’t want it I don’t like the way I’m smiling and sticking my tongue out like I’m imagining shit and I don’t like it and I’m so sorry I’m frightened

When you're taught to embrace your OCD thoughts and deal with them, how does one do that exactly? Example, I get a disturbing thought or uncomfortable feeling, we're taught to embrace it or accept it... How so? It's an unwanted thought.. So how do you embrace something that's so dang annoying or unanswerable? I often find my OCD wanting to get technical and "reading the fine print" of any and all advice given. So annoying.

Have any straight people with SO-OCD successfully gone through ERP and experienced relief from intrusive thoughts? I’m starting next week but am terrified that it is just going to make me realize I actually am gay even though that is not at all what I want. Just feel like I could use some extra encouragement to get through this.