- Date posted
- 4y
How do u guys find the courage to do something like ERP. I can’t seem to find it in me
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How do u guys find the courage to do something like ERP. I can’t seem to find it in me
I usually dont have anxiety or ocd just obsessive tendencies but after some things that upset me a lot, a few weeks later i started having racing thoughts and ir feels like my brain is out of control and all my senses are hyper active , i just became super ocd about the sound of my breathing and like it will drive me to insanety or each breath will cause anxiety ofc its not true eveb if i dont think about it i just have a throbing headache all the time, cant sleep at all… i have no idea whata going on… please help i think something wrong with my brain.. one thought can send a heat wave instantly to my head and feel like burning… i cant sleep and i am becoming suicidal
Someone in my family committed suicide a long time ago. She struggled with schizophrenia and depression, and died by intentional overdose of her depression medication. Because of this, I associate medication with suicide and really struggle with the idea of taking meds for my OCD. I know meds aren’t completely necessary for recovery, but I’m sure they would be helpful if I could get over this very strong association. I’m always so scared I’m going to end up like her. Any advice or does anyone else also struggle with suicide trauma?
I can't understand anymore what is real. I don't understand if I is rocd or not. J would love your opinion! I had for a long time strong anxiety, for rocd and some other reason. In thoose months, i had a lot of time the urge to break up, the sensation of "I should leave; i do not love him enough" and all the intrusive doubts. But every time; it was like a roallercoaster, one day super attracted and in love, the next one wanting to break up. Now, nothing. Every little things he does that I don't approve hurt me like hell, but that's it. I can't have fun with him anymore. I learned it's okay to not feel in love all the time, and I accept uncertainty. But I want to agave fun and enjoy time togheter at least!! But I can't! And I don't know If this is rocd, because there is no more anxiety. But I don't want to keep going this way... a lot of things he does and his personality makes me think that I should leave him; not because he is not the one, but because I think I should look for someone that can make me feel more loved, that show loves in the same way I do. Than why I'm still here?? Why I keep stay?? I can't understand what I want. If I don't want him I should leave. If I want him I should stay. But it is like if I don't want him and at the same time I want him... I am not doing any fisical compulsion. Do you have some advices please???
tw It genuinely feels like Im gay/trans and going to therapy as a lgbt person rather than a straight man with hocd and once therapy is done Ill be accepting myself and coming out happily. Ughhh i was afraid I might end up as one of those triggering hocd stories that I read when it first began. I want to cancel my therapy sessions now and just sleep it away, i dont want to get better. This is not ocd
I’m still so freaked out from last night when I saw adult dolls on reddit. I truly think I wanted to touch them and now it’s so easy to imagine myself doing stuff with girl body parts and like I want to do it and it’s enjoyable but I don’t want to at all and I don’t want it to feel enjoyable at all. I was finally feeling a little more confident in my attraction to my bf and I feel like I’m going insane again. I don’t care I don’t if I like girls, but please I’d do anything to feel sexual attraction to my boyfriend.
Please someone help with my last posts. I feel really along and I don’t know what to. I’m really scared and worried because of the horrible and terrifying intrusive thoughts I had about my little niece. What can I do about this? She was wearing black leggings earlier and I kept getting horrible intrusive thoughts like “she looks sexy in those leggings” or something like that and it just kept repeating the more I tried to argue with it. I’m terrified I’m a monster and I really don’t want to be one. I spent all day with my niece but as soon as she put on leggings my ocd latched onto it and it’s really worrying me. Please don’t judge me or anything I promise I absolutely hate the thoughts. I’m really scared I want to cry and I can’t
How many with harm ocd towards a spouse have told them about your thoughts? How many have had their spouse say they were afraid because it’s a natural human thing to fill if someone told them such things
Happy monday y'all :) i could honestly use some help and support if anyone has experience dealing with narcissistic parents... This is hard for me to say, but basically it feels like my parents don't want me to heal and that they're kind of standing in the way of my healing--especially my father. He keeps sending me extremely below the belt messages about how me distancing myself from him and my mother is a horrible idea. Just one type of thing he says is "you'll be alone after your nana dies, then who will you have? We're all you have!" Which is completely not true 🥲. To make things worse, he actually said this to my nana (his mother...who has a fear of dying...) and is extremely jealous of our close relationship. He's constantly calling her and talking about what a disappointment I am Sorry to vent y'all, normally I post positive stuff. But this has been really getting to me, as my therapist will still be out until next week 🥺. On a happy note, i had a good time at the lake yesterday :). It was frozen over but super sunny and pretty 😊
Anyone else obsess over wether or not they are a narcissist. I think of times in my past that I was selfish and cocky and rude to others and sorry it makes me a narcissist. Most of the things occurred when I was a high schooler but I just feel like I really am a terrible and horrible person. I was just wondering if others obsess over this kind of thing
So I recently suffered a friendship loss of 3 of my closest friends (not death) or atleast I thought them to be. And they did me wrong and I have come to terms with it and it really hurt me and triggered my ocd just mentally made me get worse and start giving into compulsions again after all my hard work of not giving in a getting so much better. But now it’s like this incident about my friendship loss has started to become one of my obsession. It makes me doubt ocd cause technically it isn’t a subtype but it sort of is because it’s all about myself acceptance and I truely feel alone and like there is something wrong with me. I constantly stress about having no friends now and that they are all talking to everyone I know ans turning them against me. But to stop stressing about it I have to like give myself a random speech of sorts to clan myself done and at first I thought it was just positive talk but now I notice it has become a compulsion. And i have to keep giving myself this speech in my head so I stop stressing which is obviously ocd. But it’s like even when I don’t have a specific thought I’m always stressed like a constant stressful buzzing in my head, does anyone else relate, I’m trying to hard to not give into the compulsion and I think I’m doing okay but sometimes like right now it’s just so hard and I wanted to express this experience see if anyone else relates to it.
This is long, but I really need someone to listen to me so I hope you can obsessive-compulsive disorder ended my life in the way that it was, I began to suffer from it since I was 18 years old and right now I am 20 I met my current boyfriend and (I hope the only one) when I was 17. that was in 2018. That year and 2019 were the best years of my life because I started to experience adulthood things that I had never experienced before because my parents were too strict. It is worth mentioning that before meeting my boyfriend I had many failures with men that did not value me and destroyed my self-esteem which by the way was very low. Especially suffered a lot of sexual abuse and harassment from men much older than me and I was objectified many times. In a few words I was broken when I met my boyfriend and I did not expect to have a relationship, I did not feel ready but I fell in love and that is what my heart told me. We were very good friends at the beginning but when everything started to turn romantic I began to feel a lot of fear and I was a very cold and cutting person who did not seem to love him but from the heart I did, it was only very difficult for me to show my feelings and to open up because I was very hurted. Our relationship was seriously perfect, we have always got on too much in all possible ways, sex was the best and everything was going very well until 2020 began and with it the ROCD. With the beginning of this year and also the pandemic, we ended up living together I was 18 at the time and it was very difficult to deal with that and also with my obsessive compulsive disorder so the relationship wore down a bit and my anxiety would not let me be fine. I say this to put you in context but that is not important because if you are reading this you probably know how the process of beginning to suffer ROCD is. Thank God I got over it and I'm a little better but it's been two years and is still there and it's still my relationship and i still have anxiety all the time and intrusive thoughts and the most difficult thing is that it has made me lose hope and i always think that everything will end at any time that my happiness is not real, it makes me think that I do not want to be with him and to think that I do not want my life , it make me think so many things that it depresses me when all I want is to be 2019 or 2018 And feel that everything is fine that we love us so much, that we enjoy everything that the simple fact of being alive does not cause me anxiety, that we can have all the sex we can because I don't feel anxious. I just want to recover my life and my relationship with the person I love, I don't want to have nobody else or build what I have with nobody else I just want this nightmare to end because it is no longer anxiety that gives me pain and gives me obsessive thoughts all day and that I know is a disorder. But is a feeling that makes me think that everything is wrong and I can't have hope anymore. What can I do to end this? I need some advice because I feel stuck I feel like I can't enjoy anything in my life, not even a romantic movie because I have that feeling that there is something wrong with me and my relationship. PLEASE HELP
Sorry if this is long, but I would really appreciate if someone responded Does anyone else’s OCD get a lot worse after arguing with their parents or just a loved one in general? I always end up feeling worse, tonight I got really angry at my mom because we went to go see Spider-Man No Way Home, because I wanted to see it again but with my mom. My older brother who’s passed loved Spider-Man and she cried a couple times throughout the movie because she was remembering him, and I held her hand and was just trying to make her feel better. But throughout the movie she would send messages to her friends and use her phone a bit. I kept telling her to put it away but she didn’t. After the movie ended she just went on her phone and wouldn’t answer me when I asked her a question. She told me I was being annoying and all that. I got really mad because even before this, I was just trying to show her some of the Spider-Man movies to run her up on what was happening and she just kept complaining saying that she didn’t want to and all that. I know it sounds really stupid, but I got angry because my brother loved these movies and they’re basically all I have now in terms of things I actually look forward too die to my OCD ruining every part of my life, and I suppose not having my brother in my life anymore makes it a lot more difficult, I just wanted her to see it so that maybe she could feel more connected to passions my brother had and I suppose also have someone to talk to about this stuff, but she got me really upset when she really seemed not to care about any of that, so I snapped and told her it was stupid to think she’d actually care about any of that, that I just wanted her to remember my brother in a better way, and I was stupid to think otherwise, and that I won’t waste her time on that anymore. We haven’t talked all night and now I’m the only one awake and I feel horrible. I know it was a stupid reason to get angry at, but I guess it just more of her never being interested in what I enjoy and never feeling like she actually cares to get to know me, she’s really dismissive whenever I want to bond more or talk, I just feel that she doesn’t like me or that I’m just a nuisance. My OCD keeps bringing up all my themes and intrusive thoughts and I feel hopeless, I feel like garbage and when I feel this way. My POCD, Real Event, and False Memory always attack me the most when I feel like this, I was really thinking about cutting myself tonight. I never make anyone happy and I don’t bring value anywhere in life, all I do is hurt people.
I know I’ve asked this question so many times but please I can’t take it anymore. I need to know. How do you resolve intrusive thoughts about death? I’m exhausted, all I can think about is that I’m just going to die one day and none of my actions will matter. I feel hopeless - what’s the point? I’m also so anxious - after death I’m just gonna be nothing (probably) and although I won’t feel pain I’m so scared of it happening. I don’t want to cease to exist. Please, help.
I feel so much guilt from intrusive thoughts I keep getting about my niece. I feel horrible. Please don’t let them be real or real opinions. I’m trying to spend time with her but I feel so much guilt. If anyone could give me any advice or help me I would appreciate it because I’m at a loss right now
Hey guys kinda losing my grip here. All about sin and trying to determine whether something I’m currently doing is sin or not. This problem has plagued me for over 2 years. I’ve gone to Pastors and leaders and they have generally said that the actual actions aren’t wrong but if I feel like they are wrong then I shouldn’t do it. But the problem is I don’t know for sure whether this issue is sin or not. Whether this anxiety I am feeling is my conscience or my ocd. What I have read is that the conscience brings up verses and stays specific to the sin. Which is what this feels like, but also there is so much uncertainty, doubt, and anxiety associated with it. I’ve also even tried not performing the “questionable” action for 5 months and this only made things a lot worse for me mentally, spiritually, and relationally. But I can’t shake this feeling that what I am doing is wrong and I am going to sear my conscience or I am pushing God away. I just needed to share this, could really use some support and guidance here. I would like to avoid reassurance as much as possible, but things were getting dark in my head so I really wanted to reach out to people that understand! The post was left vague on details on purpose to avoid confessing the thought. Thanks y’all
One of Plato’s most enduring works is the Apology in which Socrates must defend himself on trial. In a way, it’s a look at what drives a philosopher, a professional ruminator. Socrates spends much of his time in the other dialogues scrutinizing the declarations of others, and now he stands being scrutinized himself, in a way allowing others to play the role of Socrates. In this way, Plato makes Socrates a phenomenon rather than a man. Socrates is public scrutiny. Justifications for things must have public validity and that one ought to live one’s life in search of answers which can withstand the slings and arrows of Socrates. I have come to realize that I often think as if I’m on trial in front of an invisible crowd, and this unifies a surprising variety of obsessions for me. A fairly straightforward example is my fear of not knowing what to say if caught in an argument about a topic. I rarely argue about philosophical, political, or ethical topics in person. But I am always arguing in my mind, trying to come up with answers to the invisible interrogators in my mind. Whereas most people win the arguments they have in their heads (they’re rigged for a quick ego boost), I frequently lose, making me anxious about the real world situations (or so OCD says) in which I might be interrogated on such a subject. Hours and hours of ruminating go into this. On the other hand, the theme to which this concept relates can be as different as retroactive jealousy. Recently I posted about how I have intrusive thoughts about my girlfriend, with whom I have not had sex for religious reasons (on both sides), having sex or being physically intimate with past sexual partners. This is usually triggered by physical intimacy. These moments start to feel really special, but then I get these vivid thoughts of her with her past sexual partners and a voice says “You think this is special? That’s cute. Look what I did with her.” The feeling of specialness subsequently goes away and I can’t regain it. It reminds me of a scene in the HBO series Barry. When Barry tells off his love interest Sally’s abusive boyfriend, the boyfriend, before driving away, quips back with, “And don’t forget: I fucked her first. I got that shit when it was tight.” It’s supposed to seem gross and pathetic in the scene but it kind of gets to me. From what she’s told me, I would not be surprised if one of her exes would say or think something like that. The thing is, a big part of it is that I feel like I have to give a justification for my feelings of specialness to voices like these that scrutinize my feelings of specialness around physical intimacy with my girlfriend. And I have to do so in a way that would withstand public scrutiny, so even if I have an answer that aligns with my own views, it’s not enough. This becomes an ever shifting goalpost and I end up losing the fight depressed and disengaged, feeling that our physical intimacy isn’t at special after all. I could go on and talk about my communication obsessions, my religious obsessions, my other relationship obsessions, etc. I think you get the idea. But you know what? Philosophical conversations are about so much more than avoiding embarrassment. With good partners in debate, you can learn a lot, which is far more important. Why should I care if I embarrass myself by not having thought things through enough? And the guys my girlfriend had sex with have done nothing to earn my respect, especially not the particularly gross versions of them my OCD creates to mock me so. So why should I care what they think of the specialness of my and my girlfriend’s physical intimacy? There is no need to walk around with Socrates in my ear all the time. I’m not on trial; I’m on winter break, and the guy is a real buzzkill.
I have a gut feeling I might have Covid because I was exposed the other day and I’m feeling really off like I’m now starting to get symptoms. I could possibly be paranoid because we just got two people (two managers actually) at work out from Covid because one tested positive and the other needs to be tested and him and his girlfriend who also works there, I went to the movies and put to dinner with them both and I was exposed. I’m scared to death not for my body because I believe I will be ok but I’m worried about my grandma and my mom too because I live with them both and the thought of them dying because I gave them Covid terrifies me. I don’t want to be cooped up in my room for two weeks either so I think I’m going to be tested as soon as possible because my mom goes to Kentucky to pick up my niece tomorrow because she stays with us for a week after Christmas and what if she gets here and I give her Covid and she could already it and the she has to quarantine here for two weeks?! I feel like a mess. I can taste and smell but I feel really weird like cold chills and my throat feels scratchy. My mom, my grandma and I are all vaccinated but still. I’m scared of them getting it and then something happens to them because I wasn’t careful enough. I also know a couple people I work with who are on the same boat as their families because they aren’t vaccinated at all and I worked the other day with her (the last manager left right now). Gosh this sucks. Please I pray Covid does not reach my house. I pray for everyone who’s struggling with Covid, has Covid, lost a loved one to Covid and is currently fearful because of Covid. My thoughts and prayers are with you 🙏🏻
I’m terrified right now. I’ll keep this as non-triggering as possible. This morning I woke up feeling great, and then all of a sudden had a thought of “oh if x happens then [my obsession/fear] is true”, and the thing happened! I was able to brush it off at first, but it came back and now I’m terrified that it’s true. It was just such a weird coincidence that it feels so real. I don’t know what to do. It’s taken hours out of my day ruminating and I want to cry again. It’s like a weird paranoid kind of feeling, and I don’t want to go back to being paranoid all the time. I can’t see my therapist for a while, and I don’t know what to do.
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