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How can I do exposure therapy if my compulsions are all in my head. The only thing I do is I just think about my obsession over and over and over until I am so wrecked with guilt and panic I can’t move or breath.

How do people get out of bed early in the morning and do the shit they need to do and go out every day? When I don’t have morning classes I usually stay in bed until 1 and I’m still not in a state to do anything. I just don’t understand how I can see people on Snapchat at a party 10 hours ago then I wake up and they’re at a tailgate, like I can’t even bring myself to go to a single party (both because of anxiety and because I don’t enjoy it, I don’t drink), how does anyone even have the energy to do that? I get exhausted by going about everyday life mainly stuck in my dorm for most of the day. It’s so hard to find people to relate to and connect with when basically the only thing people do on campus is drink and go to clubs and parties, or someone doesn’t then usually they are someone who quite frankly I don’t want to associate myself with because they are just to weird for me (no offense to them, just not for me). Like yea I’m not normal but I’m somewhere in between, in a place where it feels like there really aren’t many others like me who enjoy the same things I do. Although recently I’ve been so caught up in my own head that it’s getting hard to even tell what are the things I enjoy.

Anyone ever had exercising compulsions? (I.e having to exercise everyday) how did you dealwith them?

Ugh I am out of control! So seven weeks ago I had a baby, she is perfect and healthy and for that I am so thankful. 9 days after she was born I developed a DVT (bad blood clot in my leg). I was devastated! I hah eve come obsessed with this. They have even done two ultrasound recently and told me the blood clots are gone now. I will continue to be on blood thinner another four months. I have been to the ER over 13 times(not including seeing my doctor twice a week!). I am so obsessed, it’s all I can think about. Now after we got the scans back and they were good I’m worried I have some crazy blood clotting disorder. They tested me for the top five and they all came back negative. This is taking over my life. Now I worry that I have something else wrong with me like a brain tumor or cancer ?. My doctor keeps saying we’ve done so much blood work and nothing has shown up. But I’m so stressed

Anyone with ROCD.. would love to chat. I’ve had a tough day. I didn’t bring up my irrational thought of the day to my boyfriend which is a win but I’ve been struggling all day and in a sour mood. These thoughts are untrue, but yet they scare me so bad and they make me mad/upset. It’s hard for me to control my emotions.

How are the other pocd sufferers on here doing? Update on my recovery- I finished doing an ERP script with my therapist on my false memory. I described the memory in detail in the script and the repercussions. I listened to it repeatedly every day for a week. At first it was very hard and I was very anxious because I felt like the memory was real, however I pushed through and told ocd ok maybe I did and accepted it. Right now my exposure is reading a triggering article on pedophiles right before I have to go change my patients diaper. The disturbing thoughts come, but I’m pushing through. Overall, ERP has been difficult, but I know I’m going in the right direction because now I spend less and less time rumination and I still have intrusive thoughts especially around my pediatric patients but I’m able to push through and live life with them. I’m enjoying life and actually enjoying things again The spikes still occur but I can deal with them easier Recovery is possible! We can do this! Xoxox

I just watched a video about wedding photographer’s of Reddit signs that marriages would end in failure. One that came up a lot was when one partner (usually the male) smashed wedding cake in the other’s face and the other person didn’t like it and got upset (meaning their partner didn’t know them/ care enough to know that would make them uncomfortable). So now I’m worried that my very goofy and playful boyfriend will someday do that to me, and I won’t like it so we’ll he doomed and our marriage will end up failing. I know it sounds crazy but I can’t tell if it’s the Rocd making that up or if I truly have a reason to worry, because he does play around with me a lot.

So a couple of days ago I was reading through some posts on this app and came across someone talking about incest ocd. I was triggered almost immediately and have been having these thoughts about my brother and having imagery in my head about him (I saw his nudes when I was being nosey on his phone one time) and now can’t seem to get it out of my head. I just want these thoughts to end I feel so weird I can’t even be around him. Also, my anxiety isn’t even that high which makes it feel more real. I haven’t been anxious with a lot of ocd thoughts lately and apparently this is a sign I’m getting better because I can carry on with my day as usual. But it does feel more real and like I like the thoughts. Please help.

I keep drafting or beginning to write a suicide note/letter. I don’t have any plans on actually taking my life but I feel I already know what I’d write. I keep getting ocd when I start writing it and have to quickly erase it and get rid of it. I feel like my future cured self will be able to see clearly and realise suicide was not a nesaessery thing. But I feel like my family especially my dad just don’t take my mental health seriously like because it’s not some physical illness it’s not a big deal. It makes me feel so pathetic and annoyed at myself for even thinking in a suicidal way and it makes me think I’m not “bad” enough or don’t have a proper reason to feel suicidal. Im just in complete conflict and at a loss. I am drastically losing any control over my mind and how I think. It’s ruining my life.

Anyone here have HOCD?

I was doing good this morning at school, just having a thought here and there, but not getting startled by them. Once I got home, though, the fear came back. Now I'm feeling terrified, sad and tired. I'm just so done with this nonsense. Why can't these insane thoughts just let me alone? If I really wanted what they tell me I do, I wouldn't be feeling like this. Would I? This is just an illness, but it seems so real, it feels like I'm just avoiding the truth, and it hurts so bad to think about this in this way.

hey guys, anyone with eating disorders or body dysmorphia? ive had certain habits for a long, long time but ive started seeing them through a different light now. i usually try and starve myself to stay unbloated and skinny looking, and usually after a while i get so hungry that i binge eat. after the binge is over, i either drink excessive amounts of coffee (to work like laxatives) or i starve for days on end to “make up” for it. in all honesty, i would just throw up if it wasnt for a surreal fear of vomiting (only way emetophobia has been good for me ever) about half of the time i feel good about my looks, weight, body, face and all that, but the rest of the time i feel like i look disgusting, and thats where the starving comes in, and excessive grooming habits to cover my flaws. all of this was way worse a couple of years ago, and then it got way better, but along with all of this ocd this has gotten worse again. i feel like the way the “eating disorder” habits and the “body dysmorphia” plays out kind of look like an ocd cycle (sorry for self diagnosing, i dont know if i actually have these) another thing that i know for sure is very unhealthy is the amount of shame and embarrassment i have towards my body. i feel i “have” to do so many things to cover up, prevent or get ready for certain events or plans. overall, any time i need to be proper or any bodypart of mine has a role in something, i get so stressed to the point of panic attacks. i nearly had a burnout when i was seeing this guy for two months (my first time dating someone) from just sheer stress. before meeting up with him i would panic for hours, and still would while being with him. i barely got to enjoy the good times.

A thought I struggle with a lot is the future regarding my relationship. I am pretty young, 18, and I just graduated highschool and starting Uni in September. My college is only 25 minutes away from my house, but I struggle with the intrusive thought that because I am so young and there is so much I still have ahead of me, that my relationship is inevitably temporary and something in life will eventually take it away from me... even though the relationship is very solid. I know this is rediculous considering there is not going to be distance between me and him, but it feels like Im fighting an impossible battle sometimes and I dont want my relationship to have to end because of life's bad timing and circumstances. I couldnt imagine being with anyone else. Idk how to cope with this thought sometimes and its ruining my morning.

I am in a very strange place where I don’t even get relief from my compulsions as I test for groinal responses it continues to feed the obsession I don’t even get temporary relief it’s 24 hours constant pain

I think I have a legit crush on my coworker. I even wonder if I have feelings that I’m holding back or afraid to accept and calling it ocd when in fact they are real. This is terrifying because I have a bf who I care a lot about. Anyone have the experience of being around someone so frequently that you begin to think you have feelings for them? Is there such thing as legit feelings and ones that are not true?

Hi all, I was looking for information about ‘magical thinking’ because I suffer from severe OCD and that’s my problem and I found this answer to someone who suffers ‘ magical thinking OCD’ from someone who knows exactly what living that hell means. It helped me lots. Source: https://www.ocdaction.org.uk/forum/obsessive-compulsive-disorder-ocd/please-help-me-4 It’s hard to answer the first question, especially to someone trapped in the grip of magical thinking. I think it's a realisation we really have to come to ourselves in the end and cannot be told. And that's perfectly do'able, it's not some unattainable holy grail. If I could do it the state I was in then I'm pretty sure you can. First of all, to even start discussing this we have to agree on an assumption that there's a mental disorder that is very widely recognised called OCD and that you have it. You have to accept this to be able to move forward OK? So if that is part of the problem here, then I'd strongly urge you to get reading about OCD and learning more about it and reminding yourself why you were drawn to believe that you had OCD in the first place. And be aware that OCD itself will try to question this and find loopholes, so be ready for that and treat it accordingly. Once you've accepted that you have OCD, then we know that you perform compulsions to prevent various doubts and fears coming true. We also know that these compulsions are driven by magical thinking, so the compulsion has absolutely no bearing whatsoever on whether the doubt/fear is true in the first place, and has no power to change it or stop it coming true. So regardless of whether you believe the doubt/fear has any basis in reality, the compulsion is and can only ever be a completely unnecessary waste of time that doesn't affect it at all and never ever will. And realising that can get you through some tough exposures that you might not otherwise be prepared to do. It has me anyway. Also magical thinking makes the false assumption that you can somehow control things with your mind. This is not true, no-one can. That's just the way it is. And if you have OCD it really feels like this is true and you can, but it's 100% misleading, believe me. A common flaw would be to wait for something bad to happen and say "ah but look a bad thing happened and I didn't do my compulsion!". That's not proof of anything, and the thing was going to happen anyway regardless of whether you did it or not. That's confirmation bias. It disregards all the times the thing didn't happen and focuses only on the one time it did. It's horribly flawed science. I think many of us with OCD fail to recognise what magical thinking really is. My interpretation of it is this: when a mind cannot deal with certain fears or difficult situations satisfactorily, and cannot live with not being able to deal with them, it takes extra-ordinary action, by creating imaginary connections between those things and certain thoughts or actions that can influence the outcome of the thing if done right or with the right feeling. If it works once, it does it again for similar difficult situations, and if we're not careful our mind becomes addicted to it and our whole way of thinking becomes poisoned with it. I think a large part of getting over OCD has to be recognising this phenomenon of magical thinking, accepting we very much have it, and defying it whenever we can at all costs. And every time we defy it those imagined connections become weaker and eventually break, and then it's easier to defy more and more, until hopefully we can change our whole way of thinking back to before. But of course we may then still have work to do on finding another more healthy way of dealing with the original fears that started us off down the magical thinking road. So there's some steps involved and it's not one quick solution at all. To answer the second question, I think you have to put some faith in all the psychologists who've studied CBT and exposure therapy, who all seem to agree that if you do enough exposures, the anxiety associated with that thing just has to decrease, so it shouldn't ever be the case that the fear will remain in your mind forever. And by the way I remember asking some similar questions to my therapist when I started therapy: "ah but it's different in my case... "I don't believe the therapy will work on my OCD..." "You really don't understand. The whole reason I'm driven to do exposures in the first place is because it really feels like the bad things will come true if I don't!?..." To all of this she said "yes and this is EXACTLY how OCD keeps you trapped.". I'm afraid it's a tricky business. It's almost like we have amnesia. We keep realising and forgetting again. Climbing then falling, So all we can do is keep reminding ourselves and keep getting up and trying again. All we can do is listen to the people with the best knowledge of it and follow their advice of what it is and what it isn't and follow the therapy they suggest. But if we think we know better, and keep making excuses as to why it won't work on us, or finding loopholes in the therapy or our personal circumstances, then I'm afraid we will remain very much trapped. That is guaranteed. And as usual, but particularly at the moment, I'm saying all of this as much to myself as to you Nid, as I've been having a rather difficult few weeks here with external events derailing my progress. So I too need a refresher! I hope you can make some improvement in due course Nid Good luck.

I’ve had ocd for a while, but I really don’t know if I should tell my friends. I’m worried they’ll hate me or act different or ignore me. They are the nicest most understanding people I’ve ever known so why do I feel this way? I end up feeling horrible because I don’t totally trust them. OCD has been like a never ending circle and I just don’t want it to affect yet another part of my life.

So my therapy session is in an hour and I’ve been thinking of how to approach my ocd to him . I don’t want him to look at me crazy or not believe me

Feels a little weird to talk about this here, but here goes. I'm 22 and I've never been in a relationship and I feel a lot of pressure to just get into one already, but i'm afraid to bc i don't think anyone would want me since i have ocd and the stigma against mental illness is so freaking terrible. I do catch feelings more often than I'd like to admit, but i usually let any oppurtunity to date someone slip by bc i feel like a nonentity and like they wouldn't /really/ be interested in me if they found out i have ocd.

Does anyone else have irrational fears? Every time I arrive somewhere after driving, I have a lot of anxiety thinking I may have hit someone with my car. Even though I know I would surely notice if I did, I can’t shake the feeling ?