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Ok so I’m getting worried that I’m not worrying and feeling scared that I want to be a boy or that is who I’m meant to be and that I was lying to myself and that before this all happened and was stepping further into my femininity it was me just being hyper feminine to hide that I was a boy or something I don’t know I’m so confused and really stress I’m not at home right and just want to go home so bad (currently doing like an orientation thing and they were talking about memory and stuff) and Im just so confused because I don’t necessarily feel brain fog or depersonalization or anything and I can seem to remember my memories but they aren’t how I used to think of them before. I can’t perceive myself as a girl anymore and just feel as though that I’ll never have a relationship ship that I want or any relationship in the future for that matter. I do believe women are attractive because they are but I never wanted to be with them and now I just don’t know if I was lying to myself or something I literally just want to cry and my body is always on lockdown and I’m so scared I won’t be comfortable with myself again and when I do i just think like no this is how you should be feeling or something I’m so hurt about this I just want to be secure and confident with myself again and feel good about myself and feel like a girl!!

I am adding a trigger warning, but I’ll still be mindful to censor. So I guess I would say I’m in a relapse. I was doing well (I think). I wasn’t having intrusive thoughts and I overcame a really hard theme. So for a few months I was doing pretty okay. My living situation and relationship took a huge hit and I guess I couldn’t handle the pressure idk. Anyway, one day I was trying to sleep and I got this intrusive thought about losing my mind I guess. Not being able to identify anything, speak, ect. Just being a blank mind or something. (I know, doesn’t my one ounce of sense to me either) Anyway, this really scared me, triggered me so badly that one of my old themes that I truly thought I had overcame came back. Not only did it come back, it sent me spiraling ( still am). It feels so much worse this time. And I’m struggling to overcome it. This thought: “how do we understand words?” And then it’s spirals into other thoughts related to this, but I’ll leave it at this. I can’t cope, my mind is hyper fixated on every word, not just mine. I can no longer watch tv comfortably, listen to conversations, or even speak myself. It’s making me feel like “unaliving” myself. I feel extremely alone in this. Like as if I’m the only person in the world to ever think this or struggle with this kind of theme. Getting some feedback would be great, but I won’t hold my breath.

Plz only respond with positive advice or thoughts. Last time I posted someone responded with a bad thought and it made everything worse. I have ROCD and I am absolutely terrified that I might cheat or doing something that’s cheating. Like everything is either bad or good. It’s all just black and white. I’ve never slept with anyone, given my number out, kissed anyone, texted anyone or secretly been seeing anyone. I freak out over things like making eye contacts with a guy and I notice he thinks I’m pretty (which feels good cuz I struggle with insecurities) and I make eye contact for too long, but the entire time I have no intentions of doing any with this guy and I’m very prepared to tell him I have a boyfriend if he comes over and telling him to leave. Anyways, that’s an example of the small things I tend to obsess over and just wondering if anyone worries about the same thing and any positive advice you could give before I go insane.

Hi everyone! I’m new to this community, but I wanted to put this out there to see if anyone can relate. I really started experiencing my SO-OCD about eight months ago. I use events from my past to justify me possibly being bi/lesbian despite being straight while also using my traumas as evidence. Specifically, I’ve always been sex adverse. I was molested as a young child, and have also experienced sexual abuse in one of my relationships. This has made it extremely difficult to be intimate with my partner and provides my OCD with cause to believe that maybe I’m just having sex with the wrong gender and I should break up with my amazing boyfriend to have sex with a woman. Can anyone relate?

A couple of things have been bothering me lately… I feel like my Harm OCD target always jumps around between people around me and myself. When I’m alone at home, I get scared that i would hurt myself, so I really don’t want to be alone. I feel like i might hurt myself or die easier when im alone. and when im accompanied by others, i am afraid of hurting them :( And another thing that I’m hoping someone can relate so i know I’m not the odd one out: Sometimes my anxiety flares up randomly in the day, and dies down in a bit. I’ve seen some people say that they worry about themselves not being anxious when they are supposed to be. But for me, im worried, because sometimes i feel calm about myself not being anxious even in presence of intrusive thoughts… But every day there are short moments of me feeling anxious :( Not sure if this makes sense… Can anyone relate please 😭?

Hi all. Today I recently opened up to my therapist regarding my intrusive thoughts that I’ve had since I was a teen, now in my 20’s. I did t egg to everything but I started out talking about some of the harm intrusive thoughts I have (I have other kinds but I didn’t get into it with him on that yet) but he says it’s just GAD. However, I genuinely think I have pure ocd so I’m not sure if anyone had an experience like this? I don’t want to self diagnose but I genuinely feel this is what I’m dealing with. I have a phone screening tomorrow but just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience

TW mentions death and grief… I’m starting college in the fall and I decided I wanted to use my dads laptop for school. He passed away over a year ago from cancer and I asked my mom if I could use it and she said yes. Today I wanted to go through it and set it up and as soon as I opened it I felt so sad because I was reminded that it was his and it hasn’t been used since he used it. I left the room so I wouldn’t worry my mom and now I’m crying in the bathroom. I don’t think I can use it because it just reminds me of so much sadness and grief. I miss my dad so much because he was my biggest supporter and was there for me through everything. I know he would want me to use it but I just don’t think I can 💔

Hello everybody, So, let's make this one quick, because I really need to go to bed 😅 According to you, are General anxiety désorder and OCD two aspects of the same thing ? I feel quite lost at the moment. I've just started to acknowledge that this anxiety of mine is not a "normal" thing. And while my favorite answer is "I don't know what I m worried about...", I've started to notice these insidious thoughts which are so mean to me. So, basically, can help be found in this place if we're not really sure what we're dealing with ? And does the name really matter? Many thanks.

https://youtube.com/shorts/YzMNb4Y1oqA?feature=share As people will not understand trans individuals and how they feel simply because they've never experienced their situation, as they refuse to understand them because they've never been in their shoes, felt what they felt, i guess that that same thing applies to me and my invisible disorder. "I don't have to play along" "I don't have to understand" I imagined a person with a crowd debating with an ocd advocate, and him just ripping the advocate a part with simple answers and the mass reasoning with his opinions. My mental disorder exists but to them it doesn't because it is simply absurd. People don't understand what they don't see, what they can't feel themselves; and people hate what they don't understand. they will never understand. it's not understandable for them as they've never lived it so for them is just bs. Just look at this thread: https://mobile.twitter.com/scrowder/status/1517614552652959755 And to many of them it doesn't exist and it is simply a fucked excuse to hide my true evil nature. are they wrong though? I mean. I didn't even get a diagnosis, so who am I to say I have this invisible disorder? I don't even believe that I'm not a monster. Everyday I hate myself. the reality of things is that this mental disorder exists only for those who suffer from it, for regular ordinary people it's just non sense, and for them it's your fault for having these kind of thoughts. "just don't think them" or "if you didn't like these thoughts than you wouldn't them" that's what the average person would say. I wish I could put this in better words.

oh my god this makes me laugh everyday: i remember when i kept getting intrusive thoughts. my ocd kept saying i was a lesbian etc. it was awful. im religious and my family is openly homophobic so i was so anxious and i was worrying. it was so bad to the point where i had enough and listened to subliminals to manifest the gay away: i was rlly trying to manifest the gay away/ungay myself. i was that desperate. i then just let it roam. i came to peace with it. who cares if i'm gay? i know i'm not but why is it anyones business and why should i feel ashamed or worried anyways. so i just let it float in mu head and it disappeared.

hii, i have tocd and i want to start doing erp, and those things to get better hahah 🥹 but i really don’t know what to expose myself to? do you have any ideas? how do y’all expose yourselves? i really want to get better, im trying non engagement responses but sometimes they don’t really work:( any ideas?

My daughter is really struggling with intrusive thoughts. She is currently in therapy, but she seems to really struggle between sessions. It hurts to see her in so much pain. How can I help her with her thoughts in between sessions?

I believe I have had OCD almost 30 years but am new to my diagnosis and treatment. During this episode, one of my most self destructive compulsions is to ask my wife questions about her sexual past. My therapist has suggested I tell my wife to help me she has to stop answering my questions. I know she's right but I can't bring myself to give this instruction to my wife. I can't bear the thought of shutting myself off from ever getting answers to the questions that pervade my thoughts. I'm posting here because maybe peer support will help me find the courage. I so desperately need to get well. I need to be the husband I was for my wife before this episode started, this is absolutely killing her.

Boyfriend and I are going through a rough time. When I go out now, it feels like I'm genuinely attracted to people and I try my best to always ignore everyone that makes me feel that way. Sometimes, I feel like I play too much into when someone is attracted to me and that makes me feel guilty (never have acted on it, never would, what I mean by this is I feel like I enjoy it too much) that makes me feel guilty and uncomfortable. I would never betray my SO but I'm beginning to feel guilty for not feeling guilty or reacting against these thoughts and feelings because they feel like mine. I'm scared that they are because I don't want to lose my bf but now even in my head I say I don't care if he breaks up with me and don't react to it but I don't want that to be true. I don't want to be attracted to other people but it feels like I am. I don't really know much about intrusive feelings but these feel damn real and like they're mine. It's like I like them. I want this to make me anxious, I'm scared my "ROCD" is really just me in denial and this is just a whole lot of disrespect against my partner that I know would hurt him. I don't want him to think anyone else has my attention because no one else does but all these feelings and attractions are killing me.

Can you just hear me out and tell me what to do ?

Hello if anyone is out there with the same problem can someone help? I've been dealing with with intrusive thoughts about harming my self for a long time then they turned into having thoughts about hurting people around me and the people I love. I can't sleep can't eat can't really function. Also it's all I think about all day long and night when i spiral. I also go through periods where feel a little relief from the thoughts then they go right back to 24/7 because something triggers me? I'm really scared like really scared I'm desperate 😣

I was thinking about hosting a zoom call for people who suffer with these types of OCD (as they are the ones eating me alive at the moment). I was thinking it might be a good idea talking to people in the same boat! Please comment below and I can try and get numbers together. We can fight this together!

Just wondered whether anyone else on here can relate to OCD leading to drink and drug addiction? I’m in recovery now (am sober) but am struggling more with my OCD now that I have nothing to self medicate with. My exhaustion from the intrusive thoughts/compulsions feels just as bad as hangovers and come downs.

When you are trying to trick the ocd, the ocd tricks u back 4 folds .I ,think I wanted to force myself to like the thoughts so that the ocd disappears ......but I felt I really liked it & although I made this disgusting face,my own voice which I rely on(this voice judges was is true & wat is fake usually) said but u like the feeling inside.....after few seconds I became anxious .....now I don't know whether I said I liked it cuz the opposite feeling would come or cuz I really liked it ........is this erp or checking........

Dose anyone else feel guilty, like it’s unfair to bring an amazing child in this world when there’s a risk that they may also suffer from OCD anxiety and depression..