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Hi, I downloaded this app on a whim and I realized I might have harm ocd. I thought it was my depression getting to me this whole time. Here's the pattern I've noticed. After a really good day or weekend when I've become very happy, I'll start to get intrusive thoughts about people insulting or slighting me in some way and me killing them to punish them. As the days go by the length of the intrusions increases dramatically, so that I'm spacing out for hours about graphic murder and suicide scenes that are very disturbing. They will end in one of two ways. The first is I will think to myself that I would actually do these things because I must, and then do a 180 and cry about how I don't want to hurt anyone or become a terrible person. The second is that my fury and wrath within the imagined scenario will become so intense that it's like an orgasm of rage jolts me awake, and then I become very upset about what kind of thoughts I was having and the fact that they completely stole all of my attention. Sometimes I find that I have been pacing or even running back and forth, because of all that fight or flight adrenaline that got worked up. By the end of the week I'm feeling deeply depressed if not suicidal. Because of the pattern that has emerged, it feels like my brain just won't allow me to enjoy life, like it has to sabotage me everytime I actually enjoy living, and I'm even starting to feel dread during happy times because happiness has come to mean the beginning of another emotional storm. Does this sound familiar to any of you? I'm not diagnosed with ocd, and I wanted to wait until I get a better job at the end of summer before I start visiting a psychiatrist. This app tells me to let those murder thoughts come. That seems outrageous to me. I don't want to think about killing people MORE. I thought about writing graphic lyrics and putting it to music in my band, but I worry that would be a selfish way to cope because then I would be planting those desires in people who might actually do them. I'm sure this got long so thanks if you read all this.

I'm 16 and have an obsession revolving around harming children because it scares and confuses me why people do it so I started questioning myself and Im feeling like the biggest monster ever, I always used to love kids but since a year ago its hard to go out in public and get a job like other kids in school and I just want to be guilt free but there's no proof the feelings are true or not, my doctor suggested erp which did help a lot but other ways of coping especially for in the moment high anxiety would be helpful please thank you all sorry I just needed to talk, I feel like I should punish myself for these awful thoughts thank you I hope you all find good doctors

Idk what to do anymore I’m literally stuck I mean today I went out saw a lot of girl got close to them nothing happened I was ok but I my attraction for boys is gone fuck nooo help plzzz

very sexy and hot of the most important people in my life to listen to my experiences with ocd and then try to convince me that i don’t have a disorder

Hello everyone!! I’m a Musician, i must say i’ve been dealing on and off with OCD, before saying the negative of my specific situation i must state that in the past OCD has helped me, for example, i can play in my head every single instrument like a CD separating each one and knowing what notes come along, this has potentiated my hability as a musician. On the business side i graduated law school and helped me towards reaching my goals. I believe when chsnneled correctly this can be of help to many. On the downside i must admit i am currently on a small relapse, i’ve gotten a mixture of these: Health OCD (my gf wants to get breast implants and i’ve been worrying she might die from a complication of it), Past sexual experiences that i find not honorable OCD and well sometimes OCD about having OCD (i know right) that feeling of “am i sick, will this get better? will i go crazy? will this cripple me? honestly thats all part of the instrusive thoughts, i am in CBT and Pristiq, although i would like to hear some techniques that have worked for you guys as we are on the same ship. I normally fall in the trap of googling for information (thats my compulsion) about everything, its a trap i try to avoid, and im just learning to accept the anxiety and thoughts rather than fighting them. If you feel identified please let me know what techniques you have used in the past i would appreciate, and well remember this too shall pass and we will learn, life is ups and downs, this shall make us stronger. Best wishes M

I really am starting to feel like the old me :) I’m so proud of all the work I’ve done to get better. I know I’m not fully recovered but I feel better!! I’m so ready to be me again!

My boyfriend resents me for what I put him through after I lost my job. I would lash out in his company accommodation and have melt downs, plus a few drunk meltdowns in public. I had gotten off my meds and was living abroad so when I lost my job I just lost it. The calm person he used to be turned into a monster. Now he lashes out at me. When I bought up his ex once while he was mad he even said she looks much much better than me. He told me he didn’t mean it and it was for revenge but it replays over in my head. He was packing and leaving the apartment once and I had no money I didn’t know when he would be back. I tried to hold him and he couldn’t hit me so he spit on me so he could leave for some space. He gave me the world and after what I’ve done he’s so bitter. He sent me home for a few months while he travels for work. He says we will work on our issues but I seem to be getting all the blame and he says he’s a reaction to my actions. Idk how to get the same guy back or prevent myself from resenting him after all said and done.

I’m really scared..everyone in here is talking about a specific type of thoughts or an known theme ..i think off all things in an crazy way

Does anyone else try accepting thier thoughts and just thinking whatever to them? I have severe pocd and I can understand the concwpt of just accepting them as thoughts. But what do you do when you see a preety little girl for example? I just think she's preety abd the I think does that mean attractive??....

The fact that Im googling to see if that Im feeling numb towards my partner and that Im scared because I dont feel anxiety anymore so Im thinking my thoughts are real and that Im feeling that my partner is not real is normal could be considered as a compulsion? I think Ive been going through the backdoor spike for almost two weeks now and I dont even know what to feel anymore

Question, anyone have a day where there’s no intrusive thoughts or irrational worries, but then you start to feel a little anxious for no apparent reason; so your mind immediately jumps to the thoughts that usually bother you?

Looking for opinions please. Suffer from Intrusive Thoughts related to speed (not the drug) due to past trauma as a child. However, experienced something different and peculiar.  I have been with my girlfriend for 10 + years, she's funny, beautiful and very sweet. I admit that I plan to get engaged end of the year. I recently returned from a trip abroad with my family, then soon took my girlfriend on a trip that involved a long arduous drive. On the day we returned we sat with her family having a nice time (even if I was a little tired) and suddenly a thought hit me from nowhere (paraphrasing) "you're laugh is annoying" or "you're not likeable". I was so taken aback that I even thought this. I love this girl, so where did that even come from?! Because of these kind of thoughts, I started to have an anxiety attack that I attempted to conceal from those around me. I felt sick to my stomach, sweating and even moderately shaking. I'm sure you all know anxiety, so I won't detail it further. But the idea of these thoughts still churns my stomach. Whenever I see her now I feel guilty, I feel anxious that I'll think something like that again. It's a vicious circle of course, the more you try to avoid these things they seemingly get worse. Is this even something related to OCD or Intrusive Thoughts? Usually such thoughts are images, not this. I have been looking up online what it could be, even considering whether it's voices in my head, afterall I don't know what that would even be like. I feel dreadful about it, I want to propose to her but she deserves better surely. Really confused and ashamed. My other intrusive thoughts are not like this, nor related to anyone. Would appreciate your thoughts. Thank you.

My therapist just said something that absolutely triggered me and now I want to cry. She said that some of my thoughts may not be intrusive, if a thought makes me feel good then it means that I have to accept it so that the world can too. But my thoughts don't make me feel good, they make feel uncomfortable and distressed what the heck does that mean. She's great with helping you having a more positive mindset but I desperately need a cbt therapist right now

I’m coming off of 1/2 mg of Klonopin and originally I was on 2mg a day about a month ago. How long do withdrawal effects last specifically the heightened Anxiety. This really sucks.

Having a rough morning, can’t figure out if I’m gay or straight. I miss men. I used to know my orientation now I’m so confused. I know it’s ocd because every female I see is attractive but i just want this to go away. My ocd is looking for new ways to bother me for ex. I had the thoughts what if I get cancer or what if I kill someone but nothing bothers me except for hocd

I'm literally just exhausted, I just to cry and rip my brain apart. I either get sexual images or gay ones or weird ones. I'm literally worn out, I don't see the point in keep doing this if I have to stay like this. I would rather die or lock myself alone for the rest of my life than being with someone of the same sex. I truly feel like I'm gonna do or say something screwed up. I just want this to stop please

i have a date tomorrow! which is exciting but also really fucking scary. like they’re so nice but we’re watching movies together and im worried they’ll make some move i can’t abide bc of my ocd like if they try to like. Put their arm around me i might freak out i can’t can’t can’t handle touch and i don’t know WHY

I’m about to sit with the thoughts and let them be there. Here goes nothing. I’ve had some weird anxiety all day and I just want to cry. I haven’t really thought about the thoughts to much I’ve just noticed them all day. Ugh I want to be better already. Wish me luck!! I’m about to go through hell letting these thoughts be here but it will be worth it

Rocd! Anyone else ever have a worry that they’d rather be with their ex? I don’t actually think it, but I worry that I would want that, and then I feel guilty, like my minds already made up. It gets me super anxious and upset. Makes me feel as if I’ve betrayed the girl I just married, and that my life is ruined. Now. I would never leave her, I don’t want to leave her, I don’t want to lose her, and I certainly don’t want to go back to my ex. But my mental obsessing over that scenario is driving me crazy, and causing me to doubt myself.

Ok so just now I got a really bad intrusive thought it was “what if I’m actually gay” but I’m trying to handle it as good as I can. I’m always nervous that I don’t actually have ocd and I’m just denying that I’m gay. I almost did a compulsion, it was to look at pictures of girls (not naked just normal pictures) to see if I was attracted to them in a way that I would be considered a lesbian, but I stopped myself. I’m going to allow these thoughts to sit and make me upset. I’m not anxious but I think that’s just because I’m getting over the thoughts. I’m not going to look through this app and try to find reassurance I’m going to make sure I don’t make myself feel better. I’m home alone right now so my thoughts are wondering, I’m thinking a lot. I’m going to play games to kind of separate my thoughts, and make myself feel calm. Games have always been a big part of my life, I love games so that will bring me joy. I wanted to post this just so I could show myself that I can get through hard times, and hopefully this will help someone else!