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the NOCD Community

I posted yesterday about a false memory. I know everyone is super busy but if anyone could help, it would be greatly appreciated. I’m stuck and I just need to push through.

Yesterday I was sitting on my couch with my son enjoying time and suddenly my mind goes “what if you just killed him right now” and then I was going back and forth in my mind just do it, you don’t want to do it, what if you do, what would happen…..obviously I have control and didn’t do it but my fingers got all tingly I really was very upset by how real the urge felt. I’ve tried all my coping skills but I feel like a crazy person and can’t stop thinking about it. Any tips?

I was hoping my impulsive shower haircut wouldnt be that bad but it looks horrible i wanna cry

I went looking for information and reassurances 🤦‍♀️ to taper off Ativan. Now I'm scared. Has anyone taken Ativan for less than 4 months and tapered that can give me some feedback? I was on .5 I dropped dose to .25 for past few weeks. Unsure of what dosage to jump off at. I read so many horror stories. I was prescribed it for nocturnal panic attacks. Now scared to stop taking it and scared to stay on it 😔 I know lack of sleep and ocd isn't fun.

I will have a sexually intrusive thought while eating a granola bar for example, and I can't throw the wrapper away because I feel like that thought will be "stuck" with it forever. And these thoughts do not fit with my values whatsoever. So I hold onto it until I throw it away and make sure I am not having any intrusive thoughts while throwing it away. Same thing goes if I have an intrusive thought when I throw literally anything away, I will literally take it out of the trash and throw it away later taking very cautious actions to make sure I do not have that thought while throwing it away. I mean it sounds ridiculous now that I am writing this out, but I know OCD likes to make something not very logical mean something to you. I do not know what to do. Should I just throw it away despite what I am thinking? It is really hard for me to do and it makes me extremely anxious because I know I will never see that thing again most likely. I fear if I throw something away while having an intrusive thought, in the future if I throw away the same thing I’ll think about “oh remember when you threw this away last time and you had an intrusive thought about X and it’s gone forever and you can’t change it or fix it”. I also get these thoughts while eating and drinking, and have to keep taking sips/bites of food until I don’t have the thought, but now that I’m stuck in this cycle, every time I eat I get these thoughts. I’m not sure what to do. If anyone has any advice to help me progress through this OCD it would be greatly appreciated. I have had success in the past with Self-ERP and no longer suffer from counting OCD and am a lot better from my perfectionism OCD, but the intrusive thoughts associated with throwing stuff away is so disturbing to me and it’s so hard for me to let it go. But, now every time I throw something away that thought comes back so OCD is doing it’s thing and coming back stronger. Thanks in advance for any help, I appreciate it greatly.

I feel like my guilt and confession ocd is driving me away from my partner. I am so tired of years of guilt, and only getting relief from confessing. I’ve associated him with my ocd, and I become angry and randomly start arguments him, it’s like I’m seeking a way out. I’m so lost. This is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, but I can’t handle the anxiety and depression. The guilt and anxiety of just finding other people attractive is too much for me. I feel so stuck. I want to get better, and want to be with him forever. If anyone has advice I’d really appreciate anything.

I just wanted to ask a quick question. I love my partner and have ocd but whenever I feel pretty or try to dress nice, an instant image pops in my head of another guy at work. This makes me feel like it’s proof I like that guy but I have no interest what so ever, I love and am obsessed with my partner. What is happening, and is this normal?

I just dont trust myself enough to make a decision on my relationship. Today i did ERP and i couldnt stop hyperfocusing on his looks and how hes not my type. But it doesnt feel like enough to leave. But staying it affects me so much I feel like fleabag in that scene where she says i want someone to tell me what to eat what to wear what to think. I dont trust myself to know the difference between a normal level of being bothered by someone or not. And i hate myself. I wish i didnt have to do any work to be a normal person

I may sound crazy but on Saturday I choked on a bit of my drink and then my anxiety began Sunday night. I’ve had this unrealistic fear that I have some type of pneumonia and the liquid went into my lungs. I woke up at 3:30AM on Monday morning with a huge panic attack and then was anxious the entire day with chest pain. I’m still worried about it today but don’t wanna succumb to going to urgent care - is this a crazy thing to do just to calm me down? ugh!

I feel hopeless I feel like I’ve been living a lie my whole life or repressed it I don’t want to be gay I don’t want to be a lesbian I feel like I’ve lost all attraction to men and now only focus on women :(( I get so anxious that I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t focus And now when I see social media posts about couples i automatically see myself as the guy and the girl being a girl :( But I feel like it’s now my reality and I don’t want it :( I hyper focus on lesbian couples when I’m out in public or on social media or in movies I stare at pretty girls and get intrusive thoughts I just wanna be happy again with my boyfriend :( He makes me so happy and he makes me feel so loved I hate that I get anxious when he texts me sometimes even though I know he loves me with all his heart and I with him I want to marry this man but with all of this, I can barely imagine it I miss not having these flare ups :( I wanna give up so bad

Has anyone been fired from a job because of OCD? Were you able to get another job?

Hi guys, Has anyones rOCD been caused/gotten worse because of how complicated in the past your relationship has been with your current partner? Sometimes I feel so lonely and isolated because I think it’s only me that’s had a rough start to my relationship with my current partner - rOCD and RA stories online usually talk about how it’s usually people with stable relationships from the beginning that experience this type of anxiety and obsession

I think I’m spiraling and hitting a low point. I started ERP a few days ago. Now that I’m finally in therapy, all I think about is how i won’t be able to do it or it’s not going to work and I feel like I’ll never get better and I’m going to be stuck with this for the rest of my life and be miserable forever.

To those with Harm OCD. Do you see triggers in like every situation even the ones that don’t really have a link with the Harm obsession. My latest obsession, the one I’ve been struggling with for the past 6 months, is of killing my wife. I am afraid I want to do it. I am afraid I might do it. I’m afraid I’m a psychopath. Etc. What I find weird and distressing is that I’ll be reading about going on vacation and then I might think “you’ll kill her on vacation”. Then I might watch the news and the reporter says a new breakthrough in neuroscience shows we have no free will and all we do is based on biology, memories, education, etc. And then I’ll think “See, you’re gonna kill her, it ain’t your fault, might as well admit the inevitable”. Then I might be doing an activity with her, like jogging, and she accidentally hurts herself tripping and the thought might come of “well, she’s hurt, might as well go all the way and finish her”. All of this makes me stress out and I spiral out of control countering these thoughts by saying “never”. “I love my baby”. “She’s my sweet pea”. “I will never hurt family”. And it goes on and on all day. Does your harm OCD adapt and modulate with so much variety to so many events?

I'm so tired of not being able to just enjoy my relationship without worrying and doubting. I never pictured my love story to look like this and to bring about these emotions. I feel robbed of my experience.

Tell me about the silly things OCD is bothering you about!

Hi! I’m new here and have trichotillomania. I’ve had it since I was about 6 but in the last two years it’s become a huge problem. It used to just be a stupid habit that I did here and there and now I have full on bald spots and can’t wear my hair down or only up in one style. I’ve shaved my head before for different reasons and don’t want to do it again. My pulling got worse when I started taking antidepressants for the first time and it tickled that part of my brain just right and helped so much with my Major Depression disorder but my pulling was put into overdrive. I started doing it without realizing it until I looked and there was a huge pile of hair next to me. I’m in traditional therapy and I speak to a psychiatrist regularly, but I found this site through a google search so I’m hoping this will be different. Most of my therapy is me trying to teach the therapist and psychiatrist about the disorder rather than getting real assistance with it. Does anyone else here have trich? They’ve also done research that suggests it is more closely related to Tourette’s syndrome than OCD but it’s different for every person.

I searched about this, but all i found about religious ocd is questions like "did i commited a sin?", "do i go to hell?" , but not questioning God's existence. Do i struggle with my faith or this is ocd? How should i deal with this cause "maybe God exist, maybe not" will not work, it just makes it worse. I dont know if this is ocd or i actually realized that maybe believing God is just a choice,its imagination, and i feel bad... What should i do?

It’s annoying, how come when I’m having a good time and enjoying myself it has to act up?

Anyone else get a racing heart feeling when they try to sleep? I feel like I'm hyper focused on my breathing and it's been preventing me to go to sleep tonight. Now I'm scared that it'll come up and bother me if I try again. I have a bad headache due to this happening for 3 days straight. I know it's my anxiety disorder, but I don't know what to do.