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Does anyone else experience mind blankness? It’s like I’m a robot. I’m talking but I don’t feel in control. Fuzzy brain/feel disconnected from reality and myself.

Anyone else feel like they hit someone with their car this morning on their way to work and have to go back and check 8 times before they made it to work? Or is it just me? Asking for a friend 😐

I am tired Every passing fucking moment I am getting bombard with thoughts doubt, CONSTANTLY, I can’t walk talk do boxing without a fucking “you are gay” thought popping, or checking or arguing in my own head with myself, or the numbness or the going over my pass discrediting all my previous experiences with girls I am just done this isn’t a fight one can win I wake up every fucking morning with the same thoughts of you enjoy the thoughts, you would like it The moment I admit it to myself it all freaking disappear and “wow it’s obvious you don’t like men” and you’re hit with clarity, it’s fucking unbearable and driving me over the edge I have admitted to myself I am pan, gay, bi, at least 6000 times and it does fucking nothing because I’ll be hit with the same thoughts over and over and the same analyzing and the same mental compulsions I am straight up losing hope, I can’t enjoy a good conversation I would love with my crush. Because of a fucking “what if you loved it! You would like it”

Dear Pennyroyal. I haven't seen a post from you in a while. I wonder how you're doing? I hope you're great. I have not knowingly while multi-tasking blocked a member here at NOCD. Now I can't unblock them. I hope I haven't done the same to you and that is the reason why I don't get or just don't see anything from you on NOCD. I don't know where to see if you've blocked someone. I've been told unblocking is not an option. Penny, if you have been posting anything in the last 10 days and I still haven't been able to find anything from you, would you possibly be so kind and just change your profile name a bit, maybe put a number, a letter, a star or a heart after the name. Maybe then your posts will go through my block filter. If Nica is reading, would you do the same, pls. I will be way more careful from now on. The ironic part is, that when I blocked Nica, I didn't even know there was an option to block someone. My best to you both, to Levi,... Make my day with one of your cute gifs pls. 🤗❤️

I need advice. ASAP. I am a person who doesn't know how to say NO, when someone is taking advantage of me. I have a neighbor. She has 2 kids. She only calls me when her kids need me to help them with school work. I've known her for 8 months. She promised to pay for my help, but she paid me only for 3 out of 15 lessons. And she knows very well, I am alone here, I am looking for a job and that there were months when my husband wasn't able to come to me for the weekend because we had no money. It was super hard. She didn't give a damn. Well. to be fair, she did offer to lend me money, which I never would, but didn't pay me for the work I had already done. I don't get it. She is not interested in me, when we talk and I talk about sth in my life, she looses attention after a minute or two. As some of you might remember, my birthday was at the end of April. We communicated on the same day by sms/ text messages. She wanted us to get together for an ice cream or coffee. I told her, I was short of time, because it was my birthday and my cat's birthday, and my husband was coming home from the other side of the country and I wanted to get things nice and ready. But, I still promised to find half an hour to see her. I knew she was only interested in what had happened with me and a certain woman she knows ( I was looking for a job, but refused to take it, because a woman who works there started bullying me even before I had my second interview with her boss. And the bully is my neighbour's older son's private instructor). Now she was curious to get all the juicy details. I found the time, but she cancelled or postponed it for another day. Sth came up for her, I guess. But what hurts is, that she didn't say happy birthday to me. Not on the day,not after,... Not by a text message, not by a phone call, not in person,... It's been 2 weeks. Nothing. She had birthday only 2 months after we met. I was struggling to get by. After paying the rent and expenses, I hardly had money for food for my 3 cats and me. There were days I was hungry more or less. But I went and sold sth of mine and bought her a birthday present and expressed my best wishes to her. Half a year later, I didn't even get a text message for my birthday. NOCD members wished me well, she didn't. Today, just now, she called. She sent me a message she needed me. Her younger son needs help for school and her older son broke or twisted his leg and she needs someone to talk to. OK friends. I've been told, that part of the reason I have developed my ocd is my low self esteem, lack of confidence. That's why people walk all over me. I am there for everyone, noone for me. That's why, people who hurt me, become the focus of my ocd obsessions. One at the time. What do I do now? Do I run to her? Do I offer my shoulder to cry on? This is what my soul, my heart, my empathy tells me to do. But then there is the other side ( call it my ego or just the need for self-respect) which tells me, don't be the idiot she thinks you are. I know she's manipulating me, but since I have never had any support in my life from Noone, I don't have the heart to refuse support to anyone. Please, what would you do? She's waiting for me to call her. I would appreciate your input. I hope someone answers. Peace of mind and soul. Have a beautiful day.

Does anyone with this subtype feel like all your memories with the sex you like it was an other person like it was not you bc your brain keep telling you that you want the other sex 😩?

I'm getting so annoyed now. I heard somewhere, that there is a difference between good butterflies and bad butterflies and you can somehow mix them up. Does it ever end??? I know what anxiety feels like, I used to feel it all the damn time. About everything. I would feel it with boys too, nervous, anxious, but also excited, wanting to be near them, and fantasizing about them. I'll admit butterflies used to make me feel good, but it also made me feel like I had a bad stomach ache. Now my head is wrapped around the idea of whether I had good butterflies or bad butterflies. I'm so sick of hearing things like this.

I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 1/2 years and the past year had been really hard for me mentally and just in general - had no friends in my city, living in a different country, moved into my boyfriends house with 3 other filthy boys, no time to myself, intense depression and anxiety yadayadayada the list could go on. I feel like I’ve always had relationship anxiety but this last year has been extreme and has totally made me doubt my relationship and my ability to be in a relationship. We are currently in my home country for the summer but plan on moving back to his home country (which we have been living prior) and I am not super stoked about moving back and to the city. He’s not in love with the city either but it would hold opportunities for us to grow our relationship and careers. I just find myself going through a constant rotation of either feeling annoyed, un-attracted, doubt of my love, and doubt of my future love for my partner. What makes it so confusing is that he treats me better than anyone ever has, we laugh together, and he’s a total babe - so why do I have this unshakable feeling that we’re not right for each other? I’m just so scared that since I’m feeling so icky about our relationship, that I’m making a mistake by doing something that doesn’t make my heart sing. I feel like I’m constantly looking for reassuring moments that make me feel good about us, but every time there is a positive, I sabotage it with my thoughts and view it as maybe I’m being phony. What if the thoughts are true? It wouldn’t make much sense but I just have such a negative feeling about it and feel like maybe I have to accept this feeling and move on from the relationship - I have no idea. I plan on seeking therapy soon, and I haven’t been diagnosed with rocd but I resonate and seem to be suffering a lot with the symptoms. Does this sound like rocd? And does anyone have any advice or clarity on what I’m experiencing?

Hi y’all! I just want to let you know that I struggled and still do sometimes with scrupulosity , (a form of ocd where you have spiritual bad thoughts about God) And The Lord Jesus helped me out of it. I pretty much all of the time felt condemned and separated from God, and saw Him through the “ocd goggles,” where I saw a god throwing burdens on me and looking only at my “perfectness” which no human can be—perfect. So Jesus Helped me by showing me the TRUE Jesus, the One talked about in the Holy Bible—the Kind, Gentle, Living and patient Savior. God sent His Son, Jesus into this world 2000 years ago to die for our sin, cause yes—we all do deserve God’s Just and Holy wrath—but Jesus came to take all of our sin upon Him because He is prefect and sinless, The Spotless Lamb, and God credits Jesus’ Righteousness to anyone who JUST Believes in Jesus, and they will be completely pardoned from that point on. There is nothing we can do to be separated from God, for once we believe in His Son Jesus, He becomes our Father. The Bible says all we need to do is believe, so for those of you who think you aren’t going to Heaven because of some thing you did, yet you believe in Jesus—then that is a lie. Romans tells us we are justified by Faith : Romans 3:21-28 But now apart from the law the righteousness of God has been manifested, being witnessed by the law and the prophets, even the righteousness of God through faith in Jesus Christ for ALL those who believe, there is no distinction; for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, being justified as a GIFT by his grace through the redemption which is in Jesus Christ; whom God displayed publicly as a propitiation in his blood through FAITH. This was to demonstrate his righteousness, because in the forbearance of God he passed over the sins previously committed, for the demonstration I say of his righteousness at the present time so that he would be just in the justifier of the one who has FAITH IN JESUS; where then is boasting? It is excluded. By what kind of law? Of works? No, but by a law of faith. After justification (being pardoned of our sin through Jesus Christ thru Believing In HIM) comes sanctification (the process that lasts our entire lifetime growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ our Savior, producing Fruit of the Spirit, —we can only do all this through Jesus and His Holy Spirit, because Jesus said in Matthew that we can do NOTHING apart from Him. Just remember—refuse to listen to the lies of the devil and your feelings, and look to Jesus and His perfect sacrifice and how He says He will never leave you nor forsake you and “never cast you out” (John 6:37) God bless you and trust Jesus not your thoughts and feelings. Glory to God only, amen.

Has anyone ever told that because of OCD, they think like a robot? My “friend” once told me that I was a “math machine”. He was referring to my mathematical abilities, and how I was incapable of being anything else but a robot. It was very much a backhanded complement. It’s true that I do have a PhD in math and that I have abilities in that subject, but I hate being told that’s all I am. Also because of the black and white thinking associated with OCD, it seems that way and that he might be right. Additionally, some family members think that way too. That I’m only good at math but suck at everything else. Curious as to your experiences, as it seems that with OCD, we seem to fit that stereotype.

I just don’t know how to date with this theme. I see many people in relationships who have this theme but I can’t imagine myself in a relationship right now! I envy those who have relationships while having SOOCD. I’ve just put dating on the back burner for the three years I’ve had this. I just have the fear that I will like someone, they’ll like me back, and then I’ll lose feelings. I fear I’ll never like anyone again. I’ve tried dating these past few years with 2 different guys, I just don’t feel as infatuated as I used to… I don’t know if it’s the loss of libido or just not the right guy or what…

You guys I’m having an episode .. but I don’t need reassurance I just need advice

Hi guys, dealing with SO-OCD for like two months now and of course is driving me crazy since I have a boyfriend that I love more than everything ( even if rn I’m feelling like it was a lie 🤡) but I have genuine question today, I already have this subtype during my teenage year (where I didn’t know I had OCD) and sometimes like a year ago but everytime it was only for few days then I forgot about it but know it’s 2 MONTHS and I don’t understand… Did you guys ever have like a subtype for a few days and then later it became your main subtype ?! Cause because of this I was convince it can’t be ocd :/ ? We got this guys btw stay strong ❤️‍🩹

I don’t do compulsions, I don’t have anything I avoid or anything that really triggers me, I’m just constantly worried that maybe I am a bad person and have random horrible thoughts, can be about anything really? Any advice on what can help?

Cause i feel like mine does.

ppl who teach kids on here: any advice or tips? i feel like i’ve gained a certain amount of trust or acceptance for being there but there’s also this nagging sense of worry that i’m not taken seriously. or worse, they think i’m perverted. i try not to bring nervous energy around them but i’m a dance teacher so i notice a lot without trying. sometimes i can feel fine and comfortable, and other times i’m scared out of my mind to even go there. what can be done to relieve the anxiety other than “accepting uncertainty?” i want them to be safe and feel safe.

It literally feels so wrong. as if im doing something i’ve never done before. letting go feels so scary, it’s like my core fear is acceptance in itself. does anybody know what acceptance looks like? i’ve always been an anxious person so it feels like acceptance is just doing something so out of the blue, i feel physically incapable of it, like sometimes i start shivering. is there any hope for me?

i am really struggling right now and don’t know what to do. need some support/advice

Does anyone else think there is actually some truth to this? I totally get why people hate that phrase however I do know people in my life who seem a bit “ocd” but not enough for a diagnosis. My bf for example is terrified of smelling bad. He will make me smell the same jumper three times to make sure it doesn’t smell (I do try to discourage this behaviour don’t worry) and he has many many more checks he does and also was beyond terrified of infecting his loved ones with covid and barely went out. My sister has this bed bugs thing and fears of STIs that’s kept her up at night at times. My mum had this weird thing with composition in paintings having to be absolutely perfect and charting every single point - to an extent that this is all she did obsessively for about two years. Is it just anxiety? I know it could be ocd but apart from these things I’ve never noticed anything.

Hello, I come from a country in Europe that used to be together with other countries including Serbia. Long time ago. We do not border Serbia, but there is still sort of a collective emotional connection with those countries. News from Serbia from 3.May23 has shocked me. A 13 year old boy killed a security guard and 8 children, 7 girls and a boy. He wounded 7 more. He took his father's guns. His father, a famous doctor, radiologist, in Belgrade, taught him how to use guns. The boy's only regret is not to have killed many more. He had a list with names of the kids he wanted to kill. He claims to have enjoyed watching the kids terrified and screaming. He was/is an excellent student and was always well-behaved. He was successful at school, at basketball, at drama/theater club, has won many awards I science, languages,.... competitions. His mom is a scientist. He had planned the killing for a month. He won't go to prison, he won't be punished since he is not yet 14 years old. He is being kept in a psychiatric hospital for adolescents. But they will probably let him go. His father is in prison, but the maximum sentence he can get is 2 months. For not preventing the access to his guns to the son. So far, he claims that he had followed all the laws and regulations about storing the guns, so he will be out in a few days, I guess. What shocked me even more is that he has tones of kids posting videos of support, awe and praise to him and laughing at the victims, insulting the dead, but admiring him on Tik-tok,... Other incidents have followed: a 21 year old shot a similar number of people a day after, a girl wanted to stab her teacher with a knife, kids film themselves threatening people with guns,..Just today, police have arrested 2 kids for posting the videos of support to the boy who killed. I am anxious. I feel scared. What's going on with kids? I am not scared for my safety or safety of the people in my country. I feel so anxious because I can't stop thinking about how something like that could have possibly happened. How can a 13 year old boy do something like that? He does not get it, but he did not kill 9 people, he killed 4 more. He ruined his own life, his mom and dad's and his 10 year-old sister's. Not to mention the lives of the victims' parents' and family and friends'. I keep thinking about what went wrong. He had it all. But did he? It is claimed that he was bullied by other kids for stuttering. He claims he was ignored by his peers, but there are girls who had a crush on him. He even had a girlfriend for 2 months. He describes himself as a psychopath. Kids develop empathy at the age of 3 usually. Is it possible, that he developed physically and in all cognitive educational ways since he is super intelligent as far a school is concerned, but emotionally stayed at the level of a 2 - 3 year old kid? He feels nothing. No regret. He hasn't even asked about his mom or dad yet and it's been a week since the shootings. All he asks is when he will be free to go home. Can a person be born with predisposition to become a psychopath and it depends on the environment, upbringing, family ties, if he or she one day explodes and does sth as terrible as that? There's been talk of a split personality. Like in the film 3 faces of Eve. There might be something on it, since just before entering school, he got all panicky and scared and intended to call his mom to tell her what was going on with him, how he was feeling, but all of a sudden he changed his mind, didn't call her, there was no fear in him anymore. All he wanted was to kill. A second before he was like a person with ocd - he got scared of the things his brain was telling him to do and panicked. He was on the brink of calling his mom for help. This is how we react. We get scared because we know the thoughts are not OK, not acceptable, not in balance with who we are and our morals. We try to escape them or prevent it from happening by performing compulsions. He understood for a short while, he didn't want to do it and wanted to prevent it by calling his mum. But then the resemblance ends. We don't give in. We don't do anything to hurt others. But he, in a split second turned all his emotions off, became a completely different person, collected, calm, cold, on a mission to kill as many as possible. No mom, no fear, nothing but killing was o his mind. He even called the police himself. He was completely calm and collected when they arrested him. No fear, emotions, regrets. A psychopath probably wouldn't feel like he did moments before entering school. He realized what he was about to do and it upset him, put him in a state of panic. Yet, the next minute the fear and panic were gone. He went on his mission. Like 2 completely different people living in 1 body. It is so heartbreaking to blame him alone for what he did. He is a child. How can we accept that a child can turn into such a monster? Am I a bad person for feeling sorry and sad not only for the victims, but for him and his family as well? People I know don't do that. They choose sides and attack the other side. It is gruesome. Everybody is putting blame on someone else. The politicians on one another, people on parents and teachers. Psychologists on teachers and parents for not noticing anything wrong with him. Only the kids are devided in 2 groups. Those who are shocked, sad, confused. And those who praise the killer as a king, as their hero, a role model. Oh, heaven! The last group causes the anxiety in me. What has gone wrong in our society, that a 10 year old threatens that he will also kill his schoolmates and teachers, just to continue his role model's work? Or that teenage girl, who trided to stab her teacher and a girl in her class. And the one who threatened to kill members of his church? Is it just me, but do you think it would be sensible to set age limit for all social media. Minimum age at 18 or at least 16. Why can't a 6 or a 10 year old child live without Tik Tok, Facebook, Instagram,...? Why are there no filters about violence, sex, threatening, bullying on social media, including YouTube? The boy was super active on Tik Tok, Instagram,.... He played violent games, was a fan of aggressive movies and videos,.... Maybe if more kids spent a quality time with each other in person, playing real games and sports (with a ball, or monopoly,...) they would grow emotionally as well. And if they were prevented from seeing and enjoying any kind of violence from anyone online including their peers, they would find idols and role models in other people - in family or a singer, an artist, a scientist... The only dilema with setting an age limit to social media is for me about communities like ours here at NOCD. These are life saving communities for grown-ups as well as children. And it is very good so. Here are also rules. Noone wants to insult others or blame them,... But FB, Instagram, TikTok.... phones at the age of 5 and on... Come on? Really necessary? I am sorry and I apologize because I know this will upset everyone. I just need your input on something like this, so that I can start breathing again. I can't expect the sadness and confusion will go away just yet, but I need to deal with this pressing feeling of anxiety in my chest caused by constantly thinking about it. My ocd is very happy. Anxiety is a stepping stone for the onset of ocd. So it's just a matter of time Ocd will start talking unless I stop the anxiety. I am so sorry for upsetting you as well. I hope I will wake up and realize it was all just a bad dream. It is not important where it happened. I would feel the same if it happened in London or LA or a small village in India,... what breaks my heart is that the actors and victims in this tragedy are children. Love and hugs. Please love each other, listen to and hear each other, don't ever disregard someone's pain. Not a grown-up's, and especially not a child's. Have a better day than I am having. I just feel like crying. There is this beautiful video of the only boy killed, playing the piano. He plays so beautifully. It just breaks your heart. The killers best friend, allegedly. Uhhh. I think I will stop following what's going on there, since it's becoming to stressful for me. Love you all guys. Bless you all.