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the NOCD Community

I’ve been struggling with the intrusive thought that I cheated on my fiancé sometime in the past, even though there’s no evidence of it and it’s completely against my character and everything I stand for. I don’t remember having these thoughts until about 2 months ago. The thoughts were starting to feel so real that I even started doubting my therapist. I was like “how do you know I didn’t actually cheat on my fiancé and I’m not just sitting here lying to you?” Does anyone else struggle with this?😓

I’m a Christian, but my OCD makes it feel like I’m always disappointing God. I deal with scrupulosity. I remember signing the cross compulsively throughout the night to where I was in physical pain. But the doctrines of, “God died on the cross for you. Stop being in ungrateful.” I was doing this because I had a bracelet with a cross on it, and when I moved my arm in a certain direction it would be an upside down cross. The filthy feeling I felt was so bad, that i felt like it was going being a demon into the room if I didn’t pray. I spent that whole night signing the cross in tears. Then the next morning I got up like nothing happened. I still deal with forms of this. Like feeling God is going to punish me if I sin. So if a bad thing happens in the day, I blame myself. For example, if I listened to a sing with a curse word in it, I would blame myself for things going wrong later in the day. I still do. Not to mention the things I restrict myself from to please Him. Even though I know He is already pleased with me. There is nothing like the depression and dissatisfaction of feeling like a you did something wrong while everyone else can do that same thing freely. I can’t tell the difference between my OCD and conviction. Can any fellow Christians help me out, and give me tips. I already know Jesus loves me, but merely being told that doesn’t help anything.

My brain is telling me to actually k***/hurt someone or listen to my intrusive thoughts because that’s why it keeps coming back to my head cus I’m not acting out on them and I should do it…. I feel so tripped out and confused and they keep like legit fucking urges… this is my second flare from 4 years ago and I’m scared it’s coming back just because I didn’t act out them last time… like what if it’s back in the future??

I talk to an ex on IG from time to time. Been married ten years. Whenever I’ve been upset at my husband I have thoughts that say the ex wouldn’t have done that or said that. I’ve looked at his profile before and ours only focus on what he has that my husband doesn’t. Our conversations on IG messenger have never ever been inappropriate. The content is that I would say with any friend. He has never said anything inappropriate either. He’s also been married a while. I got a hook that keeps telling me I’ve done something wrong when I know I haven’t but then the guilt is killing me for those thoughts I’ve had about him that I mentioned above. I don’t know how to process this. I feel like I’ve committed adultery or something. I can’t function, am having panic attacks, have lost nearly ten pounds over this and am basically non-functioning. Doing the simplest of tasks feels like climbing a mountain. I’m stuck in such bad rumination. I’m trying to figure out if this is a real issue or if this is just OCD. I would greatly appreciate your perspective and thoughts.

I've heard of this theme and I'm not fully sure on what it is. I'm guessing it's when we have a thought and it will happen eventually, which is something that I do worry about sometimes. Like when I'm jogging or doing something I don't usually do (outside my comfort zone) and I'll get thoughts that something bad is going to happen and I worry that it does until I stop doing that thing outside my comfort zone. This happens with a checking compulsion before and it usually always happens with these kind of thoughts.

I’m going to assume something about you.. and correct me if I’m wrong. We all don’t want to have OCD, right? That’s why we’re on this app. That’s why we’re going to therapy. That’s why you’re reading this right now. Well what if I could tell you a tip that would help you not have OCD anymore? A lot of people assume that not having OCD means not having intrusive thoughts. But that’s not true- most humans have them, if not all. Rather, not having OCD means that you don’t do compulsions. You might still have anxiety, you might still have intrusive thoughts…. but you don’t have the behaviors of someone with OCD anymore. So when you ask “How do I recover from OCD?” - here’s what you need to do - cut down on and eventually let go of behaviors that give you OCD - rumination, meaning making, mental review, seeking reassurance, repetition of actions, etc. Because by letting go of these behaviors - you are naturally accepting uncertainty. When you get an intrusive thought and you don’t ruminate about what it means, you are naturally accepting the fact that it could have meant or not meant any number of things. So when you catch yourself in an OCD spiral or right after you get an intrusive thought- (and this has MASSIVELY helped me) - tell yourself “I’m not allowed to do anything about that thought”. I’m not allowed to direct attention to it, I’m not allowed to try and figure out what it means, I’m not allowed to reassure myself. I see it as a thought, I do not attribute meaning to it, I accept its presence and I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. And in not doing anything - you now have the behavior of someone without OCD. Because think about it - if someone doesn’t have OCD and they get an intrusive thought - they don’t ruminate, attach meaning to it, worry about it, try to seek reassurance that it’s not true - they simply pass by it. They let it be. Examples: If you have HOCD - and you see someone you find attractive - you’re not allowed to ruminate about what that means about you. If you have Harm OCD - and you hit a speed bump - you’re not allowed to ruminate about what that means either. If you have ROCD - and you get annoyed at your partner - you’re not allowed to ruminate about what that means either. Separate the experience from the meaning your OCD is trying to attach to it. OCD is the glue that tries to attach your worst core fear to an amorphous experience - it wants to attribute the scariest meaning to it - but you don’t have to let it. Put the breaks on by holding up a hand and saying I’m not allowed to do anything right now. This will also give you insight into your compulsions - as the urges you have to act tell you if you frequently reassure or ruminate without realizing it. Let there be an empty space, after the intrusive thought, and see how that starts to change your mental landscape. So try this next time. Tell yourself “I’m not allowed to do anything mentally that someone without OCD wouldn’t do.” And the more you do this, and remove yourself from the OCD spiral - the more you will recover. Set some rules for yourself: 1. I do not argue with my thoughts. 2. I do not talk back to my thoughts. 3. I do not interfere with my thoughts. 4. I do not try to get rid of my thoughts. Instead, I: 1. Let them be. 2. Say “maybe” 3. Watch them go by. 4. Accept their presence and direct my attention to what I want to focus on. Let me know if this works for you!! Stay strong❤️ you got this.

how can i deal with what if thoughts, i do have a post up already but no one has commented 😣 struggling

Does anyone else feel like OCD is asking you to ruin your life and make decisions/things that you don't want to do because it's "what I secretly want"? It feels hard to even know what's real anymore.

Hi, my name is Grace and I am a 17 year old. For the longest time my brain has been very hyper focused on little things. I always just thought it was small ADHD because my mom and sister have it. Although, these past two years it has become unbearable. I will be up all night with intrusive thoughts of a variety of things. I always feel wrong trying to figure out what’s wrong because I know some people really suffer from bad OCD. Although, i find myself focusing on small things in life and not being able to stop. For a small example, I play softball and I have to wear my hair up. Although, if there is literally the smaller bump and I feel it, i won’t be able to stop thinking about it. Every. Single. Time. this happens. It’s gotten to the point where I realize I can’t stop thinking about it and try to remind myself it’s not that big of deal, but every time I always end up redoing it. I understand that my hair isn’t a problem, and I can live with it. It’s just that I find it also happening in other circumstances. If something is messed up, i will smack the hell out of myself to forget about it. I know that’s wrong but it’s the only thing that’s helping me. In the end, I don’t even know if this is OCD. It’s might be very light OCD or some sort of ADHD sign but it’s exhausting and I want some things that can help.

Its so weird. Does any Identify as straight yet do to a childhood trauma feel like they should be gay? My OCD goes over drive with marijauana and I find myself forcing myself to watch gay/trans porn. And its strange because for years I enjoyed straight porn and a little anal play but now Im so confused..... I have had many women lovers but.... I just dont know.....then- I always feel like people are staring or talking about me...Who Am I? grrrr

Do you guys ever get like a thought that is so delusional and false. And still find yourself thinking about it over and over again as if it was real? I’m going through that now😔🤦🏻‍♀️

It’s unfair that people say stuff like “ just don’t think about it” , “don’t worry “ , “ don’t be anxious”

Anyone else struggle with rapture/left behind fears, feeling the need to be saved over and over again and fears of being left alone/being alone? I had been doing well for a week or two and then this week has been so challenging. I’m trying to trust God and remember that He keeps His promises.

I’ve been getting a lot of anxiety and ruminating a lot about getting older and “wasting my youth”. I’m turning 21 in July and going into my final year of university in the fall. I’ve been doing a lot better with my ocd in the past few months and even got discharged from therapy with nocd! However I think this may be becoming obsessive and I don’t want to fall back into compulsive patterns so if anyone has any advice I’d really appreciate it. My biggest concern is that I’m wasting what are supposed to be the best years of my life and the time when I will be the prettiest. Due to my ocd and battling a chronic illness, my self confidence regarding my looks has been pretty low however it is a lot better now. I can’t help but obsess over the fact I’ve “wasted” the last few years with ocd (despite the fact that I never let ocd limit me from having fun). I’m scared of getting ugly and having wasted the time when I’m the prettiest hating the way I looked. I feel sad and anxious when I spend a day doing nothing, especially weekends, because I feel like I wasted it and should be out drinking or spending time with my friends. I keep checking people’s ages and seeing what they are doing to reassure myself that I won’t lose get old and boring. I think this anxiety is due to the fact that the “best years of my life” (aka university) are coming to an end soon and I feel like I didn’t enjoy them as much as I could’ve had I not been dealing with ocd. I know this sounds ridiculous given that getting older and graduating is inevitable but I really don’t want this to become a new obsession.

I don’t think I will for a while because I just started dating someone but how do you tell your partner about your ocd? And how did they react?

I’ve had some of my most difficult days lately and would like to know what helps you replenish when you’re at your lowest ?

I woke up in early morning, I tried to go back to sleep but can't and I look through the phone. Then, I still have intrusive thoughts and I'm eating peppermints, using crystals trying to deal with it. My grandma (we shared in one room) aks me why I'm making noise, because tli using crystals on my desk and I saying"shut" to those thoughts. And then I don't want to disturb to try to deal with intrusive thoughts and then I throw my soft plush toy at her and I scream and told her to stop and I trying to deal. My mom woke up and she got pissed why I'm like this bc I deal with intrusive thoughts. And she made me go sleep in her bedroom and I apologize to my grandma and I didn't meant it. And I cried that why I'm like this? I still dealing with those intrusive thoughts that made me like this? My mom tried me to calm down and told me wait for grandma to woke up as if I go back to my room and never go to sleep at my room with my grandma now. It's it my fault?

My ocd started as postpartum ocd and now it flares any time my hormones are wack. Like right now, it’s the worst it’s every been but there’s a pattern with my cycle. It’s worse around End of period until ovulation and lets up completely when I start. Anyone else have this?? When my hormones are normal my ocd is almost nonexistent

Today was the first day in 4 months I blasted my radio and sang from my lungs and felt happiness … a pure happiness again. My healing journey hasn’t been linear, but I can say things DO get better and only will continue to. OCD doesn’t define you . You can live a beautiful life once you learn that you are not your thoughts , let go of the reigns, and trust your inner wisdom to guide you. I promise you it gets better. ☀️ People with ocd are the strongest people out there. You have the courage to get through this. The hardest thing I did was switch to sarcasm when the thoughts came my way “oh I’d love that!” “Oh yes that’s true” BUT once I started trusting my inner wisdom, it got easier. I KNEW at my core they would never happen and this was the only way to fight back at the bully. Even at my darkest moments (I didn’t even know what ocd was at one point during my struggles) my inner wisdom is what guided me through me safe. I also knew learned that physical sensations were a love letter from my body saying “ hey this isn’t right , switch your thinking!” Your body loves you. It wants to keep you safe. Your little pea brain though, just doesn’t know the difference. Keep that in mind as you work on healing. I love you all . You ALL deserve a beautiful life of happiness, and peace. And from someone who’s suffered— You will get there. Xo

I was wondering if you guys agree. I have PTSD, GAD, depression, an eating disorder and OCD. I feel like every time, OCD is taken the least serious, while to me its the worse... Also, my OCD makes it hard for me to search for help cause my OCD tells me Im a bad person, I dont deserve help, Im not allowed to show my emotions Because of that I cant show how bad it is, especially cause its pure ocd, so people dont mention my struggle or take me serious. But i feel like, in general, of all my disorders, OCD is taken the least serious, while to me its the worst of all. I hate it... i hate OCD so much, its debilitating and nobody can see it.