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Does anybody feel like OCD randomly disappears and then comes back? Like as if you can’t picture your life with OCD one second then the next it takes over your whole life?

My boyfriend and I have been having more frequent conflicts. He’s processing things from a few months ago that he’s still working through with forgiving me. The thing is with him if I get overstimulated and snap or ask to go to another room to calm down he starts breaking down. I always apologize and explain why what happened happened. It takes us a while to get into the conversation of “What can we do now moving forward?” Because once he’s in that state he can’t leave or control it so he brings up every mistake I’ve made and tells me to take accountability for it. He’ll then goes on to say how I don’t know him and that he’s changed himself completely for me and that I only know a shell of a person in him. He’ll say how he can never feel loved by me because he doesn’t understand how someone that loved him would treat him that way, and etc. This is extremely triggering and emotionally draining for me. I love him so much and it sucks because I have no genuine idea of why I snap or why I forget so many things. I don’t mean to hurt him but it seems like that’s all I ever do. He even said that the entire year we’ve been together (one anniversary was yesterday) was him in pain and not ever feeling loved by me. He always begs me to go back to how I was right when we started dating. I try to explain that I’m in flight or fight more 24/7 now due to financial instability and other mental health issues that I deal with. I was at a better mindset when we got together so of course he’s never seen me frustrated or whatever. The thing is I want to go back to her too. I want to be myself again. We got into an argument and he said “you always blame me and do things to me because you just want to hurt me” and then started banging his head into the wall. This set off my nervous system and I got scared thinking he was at his limit with me and was about to breakup with me, so I start mentioning a break up. This is our biggest conflict yet because I don’t know how to explain that my nervous system was set off in a way that completely shattered me. We’ve talked that situation out and have been trying to rework through everything else. I love him so much but he mentioned this girl named lolo a lot and one time after an argument he said “You know, lolo never judges me. She never makes me feel like I’m doing anything wrong. She lets me be who I am and understands me” this caused my rocd and bpd to skyrocket into the belief that he’s going to end up leaving me for her even though after talking about it he said he’s never thought she was pretty and was scared that I thought she was pretty because I told him that I was scared he thought she was Anyways, i side eyed him on his phone and saw that he responded to her Instagram story post. This triggered me and I’ve since been crying and smoking cigarettes in discreet setting while he masturbates Please let me know if anyone has ANY kind of advice or just tell me I’m not crazy or what to do with handling all of this

I know this isn’t ocd related- or maybe it is, with how much I think about it. This will be a long story, but I truly need advice, so please read this story in its entirety. From elementary school I became best friends with my current best friend, let’s call her Sarah. Sarah has been my best friends for 20+ years now. All through our academic years she has been a lot more social than me, which I find admirable!! She has always been apart of big friend groups, which I was fine of staying out of. Up until senior year of high school she was with this one group of about 4 girls. For awhile I thought I was apart of this friend group, as Sarah introduced me and we all hung out from time to time. Then I realized they were all in several group chats that I was not apart of- which did hurt. But I never brought it up to her or any one of her friends. As senior year goes by, they added 2 more girls to the group (from other people from the group), and now they’re all inseparable. But…why wasn’t I? I tried (or at least I thought I did) to be apart of their friend group and I was never accepted. And now it’s been 3 or 4 years since high school and I’m still super jealous whenever they post pics together, or snaps about being together. When I have hung out with them in the past Sarah always texts me that they all loved seeing me and missed me, but I’m worried it’s out of pity. I want to get over this jealousy so bad…its been apart of me for YEARS now. And it’s like I don’t want to tell them, as I don’t want to lose any of them socially (I don’t talk to much people anyway). I just want to get rid of this nasty feeling anytime I see them talk about their friend group.

So, for about a year ago now, I started having pretty bad Relationship OCD, doubting lots of things with my girlfriend and her looks, personality, hair, etc. We’ve been dating for about 3 years, so our relationship definitely isn’t new. But I’m just so fed up with having all these intrusive thoughts about her face or mannerisms or whatever it is, trying to let the thought be what it is, and move on. It’s come and gone in waves, but it’s gotten worse again since coming home from college for the summer. I desperately don’t want a repeat of last summer, and I’ve been doing a lot of praying that God would take control instead of me. I just feel so confused, since this has been going on for so long and I’m planning on proposing sometime soon… 😖 Anyone have ERP tips?

I’ve been struggling with the intrusive thought that I cheated on my fiancé sometime in the past, even though there’s no evidence of it and it’s completely against my character and everything I stand for. I don’t remember having these thoughts until about 2 months ago. The thoughts were starting to feel so real that I even started doubting my therapist. I was like “how do you know I didn’t actually cheat on my fiancé and I’m not just sitting here lying to you?” Does anyone else struggle with this?😓

I’m a Christian, but my OCD makes it feel like I’m always disappointing God. I deal with scrupulosity. I remember signing the cross compulsively throughout the night to where I was in physical pain. But the doctrines of, “God died on the cross for you. Stop being in ungrateful.” I was doing this because I had a bracelet with a cross on it, and when I moved my arm in a certain direction it would be an upside down cross. The filthy feeling I felt was so bad, that i felt like it was going being a demon into the room if I didn’t pray. I spent that whole night signing the cross in tears. Then the next morning I got up like nothing happened. I still deal with forms of this. Like feeling God is going to punish me if I sin. So if a bad thing happens in the day, I blame myself. For example, if I listened to a sing with a curse word in it, I would blame myself for things going wrong later in the day. I still do. Not to mention the things I restrict myself from to please Him. Even though I know He is already pleased with me. There is nothing like the depression and dissatisfaction of feeling like a you did something wrong while everyone else can do that same thing freely. I can’t tell the difference between my OCD and conviction. Can any fellow Christians help me out, and give me tips. I already know Jesus loves me, but merely being told that doesn’t help anything.

My brain is telling me to actually k***/hurt someone or listen to my intrusive thoughts because that’s why it keeps coming back to my head cus I’m not acting out on them and I should do it…. I feel so tripped out and confused and they keep like legit fucking urges… this is my second flare from 4 years ago and I’m scared it’s coming back just because I didn’t act out them last time… like what if it’s back in the future??

I talk to an ex on IG from time to time. Been married ten years. Whenever I’ve been upset at my husband I have thoughts that say the ex wouldn’t have done that or said that. I’ve looked at his profile before and ours only focus on what he has that my husband doesn’t. Our conversations on IG messenger have never ever been inappropriate. The content is that I would say with any friend. He has never said anything inappropriate either. He’s also been married a while. I got a hook that keeps telling me I’ve done something wrong when I know I haven’t but then the guilt is killing me for those thoughts I’ve had about him that I mentioned above. I don’t know how to process this. I feel like I’ve committed adultery or something. I can’t function, am having panic attacks, have lost nearly ten pounds over this and am basically non-functioning. Doing the simplest of tasks feels like climbing a mountain. I’m stuck in such bad rumination. I’m trying to figure out if this is a real issue or if this is just OCD. I would greatly appreciate your perspective and thoughts.

I've heard of this theme and I'm not fully sure on what it is. I'm guessing it's when we have a thought and it will happen eventually, which is something that I do worry about sometimes. Like when I'm jogging or doing something I don't usually do (outside my comfort zone) and I'll get thoughts that something bad is going to happen and I worry that it does until I stop doing that thing outside my comfort zone. This happens with a checking compulsion before and it usually always happens with these kind of thoughts.

I’m going to assume something about you.. and correct me if I’m wrong. We all don’t want to have OCD, right? That’s why we’re on this app. That’s why we’re going to therapy. That’s why you’re reading this right now. Well what if I could tell you a tip that would help you not have OCD anymore? A lot of people assume that not having OCD means not having intrusive thoughts. But that’s not true- most humans have them, if not all. Rather, not having OCD means that you don’t do compulsions. You might still have anxiety, you might still have intrusive thoughts…. but you don’t have the behaviors of someone with OCD anymore. So when you ask “How do I recover from OCD?” - here’s what you need to do - cut down on and eventually let go of behaviors that give you OCD - rumination, meaning making, mental review, seeking reassurance, repetition of actions, etc. Because by letting go of these behaviors - you are naturally accepting uncertainty. When you get an intrusive thought and you don’t ruminate about what it means, you are naturally accepting the fact that it could have meant or not meant any number of things. So when you catch yourself in an OCD spiral or right after you get an intrusive thought- (and this has MASSIVELY helped me) - tell yourself “I’m not allowed to do anything about that thought”. I’m not allowed to direct attention to it, I’m not allowed to try and figure out what it means, I’m not allowed to reassure myself. I see it as a thought, I do not attribute meaning to it, I accept its presence and I WILL NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. And in not doing anything - you now have the behavior of someone without OCD. Because think about it - if someone doesn’t have OCD and they get an intrusive thought - they don’t ruminate, attach meaning to it, worry about it, try to seek reassurance that it’s not true - they simply pass by it. They let it be. Examples: If you have HOCD - and you see someone you find attractive - you’re not allowed to ruminate about what that means about you. If you have Harm OCD - and you hit a speed bump - you’re not allowed to ruminate about what that means either. If you have ROCD - and you get annoyed at your partner - you’re not allowed to ruminate about what that means either. Separate the experience from the meaning your OCD is trying to attach to it. OCD is the glue that tries to attach your worst core fear to an amorphous experience - it wants to attribute the scariest meaning to it - but you don’t have to let it. Put the breaks on by holding up a hand and saying I’m not allowed to do anything right now. This will also give you insight into your compulsions - as the urges you have to act tell you if you frequently reassure or ruminate without realizing it. Let there be an empty space, after the intrusive thought, and see how that starts to change your mental landscape. So try this next time. Tell yourself “I’m not allowed to do anything mentally that someone without OCD wouldn’t do.” And the more you do this, and remove yourself from the OCD spiral - the more you will recover. Set some rules for yourself: 1. I do not argue with my thoughts. 2. I do not talk back to my thoughts. 3. I do not interfere with my thoughts. 4. I do not try to get rid of my thoughts. Instead, I: 1. Let them be. 2. Say “maybe” 3. Watch them go by. 4. Accept their presence and direct my attention to what I want to focus on. Let me know if this works for you!! Stay strong❤️ you got this.

how can i deal with what if thoughts, i do have a post up already but no one has commented 😣 struggling

Does anyone else feel like OCD is asking you to ruin your life and make decisions/things that you don't want to do because it's "what I secretly want"? It feels hard to even know what's real anymore.

Hi, my name is Grace and I am a 17 year old. For the longest time my brain has been very hyper focused on little things. I always just thought it was small ADHD because my mom and sister have it. Although, these past two years it has become unbearable. I will be up all night with intrusive thoughts of a variety of things. I always feel wrong trying to figure out what’s wrong because I know some people really suffer from bad OCD. Although, i find myself focusing on small things in life and not being able to stop. For a small example, I play softball and I have to wear my hair up. Although, if there is literally the smaller bump and I feel it, i won’t be able to stop thinking about it. Every. Single. Time. this happens. It’s gotten to the point where I realize I can’t stop thinking about it and try to remind myself it’s not that big of deal, but every time I always end up redoing it. I understand that my hair isn’t a problem, and I can live with it. It’s just that I find it also happening in other circumstances. If something is messed up, i will smack the hell out of myself to forget about it. I know that’s wrong but it’s the only thing that’s helping me. In the end, I don’t even know if this is OCD. It’s might be very light OCD or some sort of ADHD sign but it’s exhausting and I want some things that can help.

Its so weird. Does any Identify as straight yet do to a childhood trauma feel like they should be gay? My OCD goes over drive with marijauana and I find myself forcing myself to watch gay/trans porn. And its strange because for years I enjoyed straight porn and a little anal play but now Im so confused..... I have had many women lovers but.... I just dont know.....then- I always feel like people are staring or talking about me...Who Am I? grrrr

Do you guys ever get like a thought that is so delusional and false. And still find yourself thinking about it over and over again as if it was real? I’m going through that now😔🤦🏻‍♀️

It’s unfair that people say stuff like “ just don’t think about it” , “don’t worry “ , “ don’t be anxious”

Anyone else struggle with rapture/left behind fears, feeling the need to be saved over and over again and fears of being left alone/being alone? I had been doing well for a week or two and then this week has been so challenging. I’m trying to trust God and remember that He keeps His promises.

I’ve been getting a lot of anxiety and ruminating a lot about getting older and “wasting my youth”. I’m turning 21 in July and going into my final year of university in the fall. I’ve been doing a lot better with my ocd in the past few months and even got discharged from therapy with nocd! However I think this may be becoming obsessive and I don’t want to fall back into compulsive patterns so if anyone has any advice I’d really appreciate it. My biggest concern is that I’m wasting what are supposed to be the best years of my life and the time when I will be the prettiest. Due to my ocd and battling a chronic illness, my self confidence regarding my looks has been pretty low however it is a lot better now. I can’t help but obsess over the fact I’ve “wasted” the last few years with ocd (despite the fact that I never let ocd limit me from having fun). I’m scared of getting ugly and having wasted the time when I’m the prettiest hating the way I looked. I feel sad and anxious when I spend a day doing nothing, especially weekends, because I feel like I wasted it and should be out drinking or spending time with my friends. I keep checking people’s ages and seeing what they are doing to reassure myself that I won’t lose get old and boring. I think this anxiety is due to the fact that the “best years of my life” (aka university) are coming to an end soon and I feel like I didn’t enjoy them as much as I could’ve had I not been dealing with ocd. I know this sounds ridiculous given that getting older and graduating is inevitable but I really don’t want this to become a new obsession.

I don’t think I will for a while because I just started dating someone but how do you tell your partner about your ocd? And how did they react?

I’ve had some of my most difficult days lately and would like to know what helps you replenish when you’re at your lowest ?