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So I haven’t been able to sleep at all lately so I was like what if u think of the thoughts and do them they will bring you peace so I thought of one of the bad thoughts. I am thinking about not living anymore and idek. I am such a bad person.

Has anyone else had therapy with someone who just isn’t working for you?

I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible. Basically I'm just frustrated and venting a little. I've had OCD since I got pregnant with our first child so it's been 8 years now. I've had plenty of highs and lows and definitely rock bottom. Currently feeling like I'm getting worse again and I've made an appointment to get back into therapy. With that being said it's always been a struggle with my husband. He doesn't get it and I don't expect him to, at all. My problem is the lack of respect for what I am going through. Treating it like this trivial thing. The constant eye rolling and lack of compassion or empathy. Not caring and not making any effort to try to understand how debilitating disorder that it is. To see ME. Not to try to wrap your mind around OCD but just see me and what it does to me, and have compassion for that. I know my OCD has an effect on him too and I have always put myself in his shoes. I'm always considerate as how it effects my husband and my kids and what my disorder does to them even during the times where I am in pain myself. Tonight was just rough. I had a rough time cooking dinner. The total event from starting to finishing cleaning including my compulsions took 4 1/2 hours. He did nothing but eat then sit on his phone. To his credit he knows he can't help me in the kitchen, I have to do it a certain way. But when I asked for help when our toddler was fussy, or the boys were fighting he would just get pissy and roll his eyes. Never cared to ask how I was doing, or what if anything he could do to help. I tried to talk to him about his day just as a distraction to how I was feeling and he was just snappy. I tried to explain what I was trying to accomplish and he just huffed and puffed about it to the point where it was just causing more issues than it was worth so I just reverted back into myself and into silence. I told him tonight he needs to go back into a session with me again. He's been once before for a video session when I wasn't leaving the house then again it was brought up during marriage counseling bc it's basically a big source of issues for us. This is long enough.....I'm just tired of fighting for his support and compassion when clearly after 8 years I should just give up.

What happens if you stop getting anxiety after Hocd ?

I am so sick of my mind being so consumed by ocd .. - I hate how if I get an ache or pain I’ll assume I’ve got a brain tumour or a terminal illness. I can’t just have a headache and it be a headache. I look for constant reassurance in this kind of stuff. - I hate how badly obsessed I’ve become with avoiding anything that contains any form of lemon in the ingredients. - I can’t eat chicken because it’s not a safe food - I can’t eat fresh foods if they’re not eaten as soon as they’re bought (milk, bread, cheese) - I can’t eat eggs because I’m scared I’ll get food poisoning. - I can’t eat from anywhere I’ve not ate before and unless it had a food hygiene of 4 and above I can’t touch it or go anywhere near it. - I can’t dye my hair because I’m terrified the toxins are going to eat away through my scalp into my brain and kill me. - I can’t wear nail varnish because I’m scared the toxins are going to burn through my nose. - I can’t take medication or pain killers because I’m scared somebody’s “tampered with it” - I can’t drink a drink that’s been out of my sight for 1 minute. I bin and waste so much food and drinks because of this - I’m scared of being drugged although I could literally have something closing the drinking hole on it. Because I still “don’t trust it”. - I can’t use any bleach products because I’m scared that it’ll soak through things and then later on if I touch something it’ll make me ill. - I’m scared of overheating in my sleep and dying - I HATE ocd I hate the way it’s got me where it wants me. - I am so distraught and heart broken that it’s gotten this bad. I fucking despise this so much and there’s absolutely no way out no escape nothing

Hey this is my first post on here. I have struggled with ocd since i was 5. I didnt know because I repressed these memories I guess but my mom told me I had to see a therapist when i was in kindergarten. Anyways, I finally opened up to my best friends the other day about my crippling OCD. And none of them seemed to really care...at all. I wish people would realize OCD is more than just being “neat” and “clean”. It makes school and everyday things more difficult. People dont take OCD seriously enough. I wish my friends cared so I could talk to them about it more, since therapy is so expensive, but I just wanted to share my experiences with a group of people who would understand.

just need a place to write, if u read through thanks i appreciate it. my whole life i’ve been a very open minded girl. i started watching porn at a young age as it was shown to me by my friend. i watched all kinds including lesbian porn. it did turn me on ofc and i always found women to have beautiful bodies & they are attractive . they also have turned me on before. however my hearts always belonged to men. and that’s who i truly desire to be with and love and have sex with etc. however i do fantasize about women sometimes & honestly if my boyfriend wanted to have a threesome w another girl i would probably go for it since i am open minded and a very sexual person. always ready to explore new things i haven’t before. however even w that i still don’t think of myself as bisexual or lesbian. like my brain keeps telling me i am but i just don’t think so. the idea of not being in a relationship w a man and trading it to be w a woman makes me upset if that makes sense. like it’s just idk.. and i sometimes feel confused bc i am not disgusted entirely at the idea of being w a woman. i don’t desire it like i desire men. if i happen to think of it sure it might turn me on but i have no desire to go out in search for women. it’s just not for me. idk . reply w ur thoughts if u want i’d appreciate it

Does anyone have any mantras they repeat when they have an intrusive thought? I need some new ones

Just don't have it in me to go anywhere, it's been a week. I've gone out once to grocery shop because I had to. I can feel myself getting worse I think. I have been doing a lot of avoiding. I have been avoiding doing things all summer. I hit a wall last week, I had a really bad day and nothing triggered it, it was just a down day. I did a lot of reflecting and realized how okay I'm not. I'm not at my rock bottom, I've been there before. I'm functional for the most part but I'm not okay. Scheduled an appointment with a psychologist last week. It's on the 31st. I'm nervous but hopeful.

I’m super anxious and scared my bf is gonna dump me Bc he said “love you” instead of I love you and he barely txted me yesterday and left me on read for a few and he’s broken up with me b4 and the day b4 he did he said we were fine and he said we were fine yesterday and I’m scared

So I saw this discussion about gradual exposure VS flooding... and uh... I am kinda in a situation where I am forced into flooding. It has been very hard, but I do still see more results than at home. I am just stressed it'll harm me, this manner of ERP that is probably not the mosy desirable of them all. I mean, I guess it works for some people, I have heard of people who need to quit almost everything at once and I kinda have to too right now... it is quite a lot to take in. Most things go surprisingly well but the big ones on the hierarchy... my god it makes me super stressed. I dunno I could use a pep talk. Trying to be strong here, I need to be, but yeah. For context; I am not in my own home anymore due to abuse and the crisis service intervening to make sure I was safe from well, getting hit again. But I basically cannot practice my contamination OCD at the place where I stay right now. I showered for hours at home, washed hands like crazy, used so many wipes... and using a toilet thst is not mine is my biggest fear. I am doing it all but... idk man it is very overwhelming. As well as trying to process what happened (I was being choked, hit and kicked at home) on top of that, it is a lot. I try to be positive but my god... What a life lmao.

Anyone else feel hopeless because they know they’ll never be able to afford proper therapy? It honestly scares me so much knowing that there’s no possible way I can get the help that I need.

so i have a weird compulsion and i’d love it if y’all could comment on it. so i have compulsions like “if you do this (at the moment brushing my teeth) you’re a bad person”. so my therapist a while back told me to do it anyway. now i’m in a rut where i’m scared i want to do the thing more when i have a bad thought.

OCD is not chronic. Stop this myth please, it discourages people from getting ERP. You can fully recover loves :)

I’m pansexual and non-binary but I worry that, I’m straight and female... is there anyone else going through this?

For the past month and a half I’ve been getting horrible thoughts that I’m going to die soon and I keep seeing things on the news about 18 year olds dying and I’m scared it’s a sign because I’m 17 and my head keeps telling me somethings going to happen before I turn 18 or when I turn 18. I’ve also got a constant feeling in my gut that something bad is going to happen to me and it never goes away it’s a horrible feeling and I don’t know what to do. My head also keeps telling me I’m ready to die which I’m not I don’t want to, I’m living my life in fear and I’m really scared it’s not anxiety. Could this just be my mind daring me to think these things like the feeling I’m ready to die etc or is it my gut trying to tell me something and it’s sending me signs. I’m really scared. Please help.

Does anybody obsess over their depression/anxiety? I’ve felt so depressed lately and I feel like I’m obsessing over it and I can’t get out of it

I really want to be in love with my girlfriend it makes me so stressed out because I don’t know if it’s ROCD or not. She’s so nice and sweet and she always has the best intentions but my brain is tricking me into thinking that I don’t like her anymore. The only thing I think about all day is if I love her or not, why do I love her, would being with someone else be better and I’ve been dealing with it for 6 months now and it hasn’t really gotten better. I think about being in other relationships with other people and it seems so real to the point where I would be happy or better off that way but it does end up making me anxious. I hate it so much and I just want to be happy again and I feel so lost. I’ve been on 20mg of Prozac for a little over a week and it hasn’t really done much and I used to be on 100mg of Sertraline but I switched because it wasn’t doing anything anymore. Ever since I’ve been on the Prozac I felt worse, the OCD/depression/anxiety has been awful, I haven’t been able to sleep well or eat and I feel so out of it and not myself. I’ve tried therapy and I didn’t really experience any help and at this point I really don’t know what to do. Also I’m sorry if this doesn’t make sense

Having so much trouble handling the anxiety that comes along with erp when it is something that is extremely disturbing. I feel exhausted mentally and physically and the depression kicks in. How am I supposed to accept that my obsession might come true without going into a full blown panic. My counselor doesn't really go through exposures step by step with me so it's hard to do it alone.

HELP! How do I stop tensing my neck and head? It's this weird constant tic I have, and I do it constantly to the point where my neck hurts and feels like it needs a massage. I found that supporting my neck with a pillow helps, but it still hurts and I just want to stop it.