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the NOCD Community

Anyone with misophonia? Any therapy or treatment that workes, medical or not?

It makes me feel super isolated when I have to function happy around others and have panic and crying sessions when I’m alone

Is it possible to experience all sub types of ocd ??iv gone thru pocd then rocd then hocd now I'm struggling with rocd again I'm trying really hard to not give into it it's basically telling me to break up with my fiance as we wont last I split with my ex wife after 5 years of marriage she cheated and was physically abusive was a messy situation ... if been with my current partner 5 years we plan to marry next year the thought of marrying her makes me so happy we have custody of my kids from previous relationship.. I just cant seem to shake the intrusive thoughts and thinking is it down to my past etc etc

My boyfriend and I celebrated an anniversary yesterday and we exchanged cards. He wrote the sweetest things on it, telling me what he was loves about me. Of course my OCD brain tried to look for loopholes. Does anyone experience this? At some point it finally “clicked” for me and the OCD disappeared but later wiggled its way in again. How can I just enjoy my relationship for what it is and not analyze every single thing that is said?! My OCD beats words and meanings to the ground and nothing makes sense sometimes.

So I’m just getting scared because every time I do something with my boyfriend I say is this what I want? Am I happy? Then I think about this kid I had a thing with over a year ago and I’m convinced that I like wanna be with him and not my boyfriend and it’s just so hard I’m so worried and so afraid that it’s just how I feel.. then I get worry to settle even tho it’s like a switch just flipped from one day to the next..

So basicaly Two days ago I found a video on YouTube about astrology, and the woman speaking said smth like: you should look inside yourself because you have a tendency to ignore your own identity and your own true feelings. Instantly I thought of this endeavouring rumination about me being bisexual. Cause now I’ve kinda come to terms with the fact that in no way am I gay. So okay, the thing is, recently I’ve started to think that girls especially have an inclination towards bisexuality, mainly because they are affectionate with other girls. Bear in mind the fact that, since this hocd started, the lines between normal dating actions and behaviours between people are blurred to me. Now I realize that I am ruminating more and more this possibility of me being bisexual, but there are counter arguments like : I would never ever date a woman, I would never ever have sex with a woman and to me they are beautiful yes, they are sexy etc but I don’t want to do anything with them. Then, my consequent thought is maybe I have internalized homophobia idk. This is all soooo distressful and irritating and confusing. Deep down I know that I am a straight girl, but I feel guilty every time someone asks about my boyfriend because of these intrusive thoughts. It feels like I am lying to them, telling them that I am straight, when in fact I am not. Have you ever had such experiences?

Quote:Why put off until tomorrow what you can do today Me:Because anxiety Because depression Because lack of sleep ???

Anyone else have contamination OCD about sin? Whenever I do certain sins I feel like everything associated or touched while doing so or after is dirty

It's driving me crazy, my husbands in the kitchen cooking and I know im3going to have to clean up everything behind him. He's going to mess up the stove I'm so stressed I want to go off.

I just got saved today and I feel pretty good. Ocd is trying to get in my head and tell me that I don’t mean it, and that I’m not ready and that I’m gonna fuck this up again like last time. I already piss off God as it is but if I mess this relationship up again I’m really just gonna loose it. Now I’m confused and I’m crying because idk if I was ready, if I just said that I wanted to. I feel like ass because I really do believe in God and I wanted this relationship because I was fucking scared he’d leave me or I’d leave him. I feel like shot cause idk if I made a huge mistake or not, I was doing well earlier but now I’m a hot mess and I’m really embarrassed because idk what I just did. Of course coming to God isn’t a mistake but idk if I meant it. Ocd is telling me I didn’t. And I told my grama I came to Christ which was a huge mistake because she fucking confused me and now I just regret everything I did today. I’m starting to wish I would’ve just left all this alone. I’m hysterical and I can’t stop telling God I’m sorry. I feel like I just fucked up eveything

Sometimes I really wish I wasn’t gay. It’s dumb but I get incredibly upset over dumb things that shouldn’t cut so deep. Pink News grossed me out because they implied they were against republicans making child drag shows illegal. And in my opinion children shouldn’t be involved in any beauty pagent esque thing at all. But some people in the twitter comments seem to think that this proves gay men are predatory and it cuts me deeply. It doesn’t matter if most gay men don’t even know child drag queens exist, it doesn’t matter if the kids aren’t actually being harmed (not that it shouldn’t be banned for that), it doesn’t matter if this is an incredibly uncommon occurance. My OCD screams at me saying it’s proof that gay men are pedophiles and I hate it so much. It sucks especially because I was feeling mediocre and ugly when I woke up already. But even then I felt like maybe I could find a guy who could make me happy. Now I just wonder if we’re all monsters.

I’ve been in a long relationship with this guy and I love him so much like I really want to marry him everything about him is perfect l. I suffer from hocd and when I’m not worrying abt it I love my life but hocd is ruining everything I’m constantly living with anxiety and I get panick attacks over the stupidest stuff like seeing a pretty girl. I don’t want this to ruin my life or my relationship because I’m so happy with him and I love him so much but these compulsive thoughts are making me go crazy. I also have never told anyone about my hocd. Can anyone relate

Is anyone here dealing with Harm OCD? What helps you the most when the intrusive thoughts are there?

I'm living in mental torture. I take my meds, go to therapy, try to eat well but yet here I am struggling so bad. OCD is terrible. So misunderstood. Such a life sucker. I'm in physical pain from the anxiety it leaves.

I got cbd oil Holy shit Nothing is phasing me now Therpay here I come ? Best 60$ of my life. Do it get off pharmacy drugs and do this. I hope I can see a difference after a week !

Has anyone ever told a friend they are struggling? I’m thinking about telling my friend but I don’t think he’ll understand

I was switched to Prozac from lexapro and today marked 1 month of the Prozac and I think it was causing my anxiety to increase. I have been dealing with two relationships one being an ex and one just a fwb and I have been obsessing about the fwb for the last two weeks so bad that it’s made a pit in my stomach and I’m constantly nauseous. I went to urgent care and the ER and convinced myself it was something internal. All tests came back fine but I can not stop thinking about my ex being in a new relationship and my fwb seeing other women. I create assumptions and I don’t know how to make it stop. I want to focus on myself but I can’t. Distracting myself doesn’t help because I can still think about my stresses. Then the anxiety kicks in and I cry and all I want to do is sleep so that not thinking about anything. I can’t eat and I’m sure I’m starving. This is a mental hell and I hate it!

In having suicidal thoughts. And i wouldn’t ever do anything to myself but I sometimes wish a bus would hit me or something to end my pain. It’s a dark feeling. My ex that played with me and I thought was gonna be my husband is secretly married with two kids, and was chasing his ex after a drunk outburst I had from depression. He put me through mental abuse and I was jobless and financially dependent on him. Deep on the inside I felt like I didn’t deserve better than him because when I was working multiple jobs and in debt once a friend told me to try a sugar baby site. I couldn’t make it past two disgusting sexual encounters in a motel room and a bar basement. My dad has beat me up at the time and was emotionally abusive so I was in a rebellious period of my life where I wanted quick money to leave the house, except I was only conned and not paid and just used. I feel like if I ever open up to anyone ever again I will be rejected and judged from my past. I met my ex while trying to start a new life in Dubai and he sent me back to the US for a break after abusive fights erupted. I discovered his secrets and he broke up with me saying he lost feelings and was faking after my drunk outburst. I still can’t find a job in my field and am working as a cashier at a grocery store. I got offered an off the books job that pays more money and my mom is so controlling and a perfectionist she told me if I did that I wouldn’t have my car, so now I’m walking 40 min to my grocery store job in the suburbs. I’m so overwhelmed with depression and stress. My entire life fell apart. I have zero self esteem left.

I don’t really know how to start this honestly. It may be long winded. I’m not sure that I have OCD, I’m not trying to take away any experience from anyone but I don’t know how else to explain when I obsess and feel consumed and disturbed by thoughts like this. I’ve been good for a while, thoughts have been at bay, I haven’t googled anything either or had any bodily responses/urges. But I saw something in the news today that brought it back up and disturbed me and I’m back in that headspace again if worrying I’m a danger or a freak or gross. I’m feeling alone in this, I don’t know how to talk about it, and I don’t know how to move through it.

My dad and I got in a physical fight today. I was screaming in a panic attack, frustratedly yelling and he decided to spit at me (contamimation OCD so that was awful), it eventually escalated to the point where he hit me, choked me and kicked my leg. I peed myself from fear when this all happened onto the floor. My mom and sister had to restrain him from hitting me more. My leg still hurts hours after. I'm at my uncle's now as the crisis service did not think me staying there was a safe situation. I can't stop thinking about it. My relationship was great with my dad before I got OCD. But ever since it has gotten to this point. This is not the first time it has happened either. He promised last time it wouldn't happen again. I still love him and want to forgive him as we had a great relationship before OCD. I don't know how to cope with all this. I am trying to sleep but my leg hurts and it keeps reminding me of what happened today. I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be able to trust him again... certaintly not while having a mental illness I feel like. I wish I could sleep but I just feel like crying.