Welcome to
the NOCD Community

I live in the Netherlands. I am currently on the waiting list for therapy for 8 months. They say it's probably gonna take like 2 months extra. I really don't think I can wait that long. My ocd is getting so much worse. I actually don't know what to do.

How did you decide whether or not to have children? My psychologist tells me that people with contamination ocd can be great parents but I just don’t know how I will possibly be able to handle it. My partner wants children and I think I do too but I’m just not sure if it’s the right choice for someone like me. I can’t take care of a human being if I go back to having full-on breakdowns and constant panic. Any advice or personal experience is appreciated.

I want to split up with my fiance .... don't love her .. I dont think ..... no I do love her massively but she's not right for me at all theres much prettier women around she doesn't love me that much anyway .... I love her so much I dont ever want to be without her .... but u dont love her do u.... yea course I do ... dont I....... 8 weeks of this bullshit is driving me insane I cant see myself without her I dont want to yet my mind is kicking me all over I'm "fancying" other woman 1s I dont even know im getting love feelings I feel.such a bad person

does anyone know how to deal with that feeling your clothes and things you own are dirty and washing/cleaning them doesn't help?

I’ve been diagnosed with OCD (strongest HOCD) and have worked on it with a therapist for the past 5 years. It got better, while not completely going away. But now that I have a boyfriend and the stakes seem to be much higher in my mind, my HOCD and ROCD have big time flared up. I went to a psychiatrist to consider options of medication to someone who said he treats OCD. HE HAD NO IDEA WHAT HOCD OR ROCD OR ANYTHING WAS and told me that I may be bi-sexual etc. etc. etc. My therapist told me that this happens so often due to lack of understanding. Has anyone had a similar experience with someone misdiagnosing you and saying your intrusive thoughts might actually be true?

Has anyone heard of moodsmith.com theres online course to get over hocd and was wondering if anyone had tried it and if it’s worth it?

I know all therapist vary in price but how much is the average u think for a good ocd therapist? Also, how many sessions are there usually? I am struggling with hocd.

Woah my depression is so bad. I feel like I lost the person I was and will never have her back because I have never read a story on here of someone overcoming this 10000% it’s all about how to control it. I’ve talked to people on here that have been struggling for 11 year...I’m a year in and I don’t want this to be my life I’m fucking 19...! I’m scared and I’m tired of this.

Has anyone tried Clomipramine or Fluvoxamine for intrusive thoughts? Im currently on Sertraline 50mg but I dont feel like its working as well as it could. I have tried a range of SSRIs but i never feel quite as well as i should. Have read a lot of mixed reviews, does anyone have any advice?

best SSRI for OCD?

So I haven’t been able to sleep at all lately so I was like what if u think of the thoughts and do them they will bring you peace so I thought of one of the bad thoughts. I am thinking about not living anymore and idek. I am such a bad person.

Has anyone else had therapy with someone who just isn’t working for you?

I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible. Basically I'm just frustrated and venting a little. I've had OCD since I got pregnant with our first child so it's been 8 years now. I've had plenty of highs and lows and definitely rock bottom. Currently feeling like I'm getting worse again and I've made an appointment to get back into therapy. With that being said it's always been a struggle with my husband. He doesn't get it and I don't expect him to, at all. My problem is the lack of respect for what I am going through. Treating it like this trivial thing. The constant eye rolling and lack of compassion or empathy. Not caring and not making any effort to try to understand how debilitating disorder that it is. To see ME. Not to try to wrap your mind around OCD but just see me and what it does to me, and have compassion for that. I know my OCD has an effect on him too and I have always put myself in his shoes. I'm always considerate as how it effects my husband and my kids and what my disorder does to them even during the times where I am in pain myself. Tonight was just rough. I had a rough time cooking dinner. The total event from starting to finishing cleaning including my compulsions took 4 1/2 hours. He did nothing but eat then sit on his phone. To his credit he knows he can't help me in the kitchen, I have to do it a certain way. But when I asked for help when our toddler was fussy, or the boys were fighting he would just get pissy and roll his eyes. Never cared to ask how I was doing, or what if anything he could do to help. I tried to talk to him about his day just as a distraction to how I was feeling and he was just snappy. I tried to explain what I was trying to accomplish and he just huffed and puffed about it to the point where it was just causing more issues than it was worth so I just reverted back into myself and into silence. I told him tonight he needs to go back into a session with me again. He's been once before for a video session when I wasn't leaving the house then again it was brought up during marriage counseling bc it's basically a big source of issues for us. This is long enough.....I'm just tired of fighting for his support and compassion when clearly after 8 years I should just give up.

What happens if you stop getting anxiety after Hocd ?

I am so sick of my mind being so consumed by ocd .. - I hate how if I get an ache or pain I’ll assume I’ve got a brain tumour or a terminal illness. I can’t just have a headache and it be a headache. I look for constant reassurance in this kind of stuff. - I hate how badly obsessed I’ve become with avoiding anything that contains any form of lemon in the ingredients. - I can’t eat chicken because it’s not a safe food - I can’t eat fresh foods if they’re not eaten as soon as they’re bought (milk, bread, cheese) - I can’t eat eggs because I’m scared I’ll get food poisoning. - I can’t eat from anywhere I’ve not ate before and unless it had a food hygiene of 4 and above I can’t touch it or go anywhere near it. - I can’t dye my hair because I’m terrified the toxins are going to eat away through my scalp into my brain and kill me. - I can’t wear nail varnish because I’m scared the toxins are going to burn through my nose. - I can’t take medication or pain killers because I’m scared somebody’s “tampered with it” - I can’t drink a drink that’s been out of my sight for 1 minute. I bin and waste so much food and drinks because of this - I’m scared of being drugged although I could literally have something closing the drinking hole on it. Because I still “don’t trust it”. - I can’t use any bleach products because I’m scared that it’ll soak through things and then later on if I touch something it’ll make me ill. - I’m scared of overheating in my sleep and dying - I HATE ocd I hate the way it’s got me where it wants me. - I am so distraught and heart broken that it’s gotten this bad. I fucking despise this so much and there’s absolutely no way out no escape nothing

Hey this is my first post on here. I have struggled with ocd since i was 5. I didnt know because I repressed these memories I guess but my mom told me I had to see a therapist when i was in kindergarten. Anyways, I finally opened up to my best friends the other day about my crippling OCD. And none of them seemed to really care...at all. I wish people would realize OCD is more than just being “neat” and “clean”. It makes school and everyday things more difficult. People dont take OCD seriously enough. I wish my friends cared so I could talk to them about it more, since therapy is so expensive, but I just wanted to share my experiences with a group of people who would understand.

just need a place to write, if u read through thanks i appreciate it. my whole life i’ve been a very open minded girl. i started watching porn at a young age as it was shown to me by my friend. i watched all kinds including lesbian porn. it did turn me on ofc and i always found women to have beautiful bodies & they are attractive . they also have turned me on before. however my hearts always belonged to men. and that’s who i truly desire to be with and love and have sex with etc. however i do fantasize about women sometimes & honestly if my boyfriend wanted to have a threesome w another girl i would probably go for it since i am open minded and a very sexual person. always ready to explore new things i haven’t before. however even w that i still don’t think of myself as bisexual or lesbian. like my brain keeps telling me i am but i just don’t think so. the idea of not being in a relationship w a man and trading it to be w a woman makes me upset if that makes sense. like it’s just idk.. and i sometimes feel confused bc i am not disgusted entirely at the idea of being w a woman. i don’t desire it like i desire men. if i happen to think of it sure it might turn me on but i have no desire to go out in search for women. it’s just not for me. idk . reply w ur thoughts if u want i’d appreciate it

Does anyone have any mantras they repeat when they have an intrusive thought? I need some new ones

Just don't have it in me to go anywhere, it's been a week. I've gone out once to grocery shop because I had to. I can feel myself getting worse I think. I have been doing a lot of avoiding. I have been avoiding doing things all summer. I hit a wall last week, I had a really bad day and nothing triggered it, it was just a down day. I did a lot of reflecting and realized how okay I'm not. I'm not at my rock bottom, I've been there before. I'm functional for the most part but I'm not okay. Scheduled an appointment with a psychologist last week. It's on the 31st. I'm nervous but hopeful.

I’m super anxious and scared my bf is gonna dump me Bc he said “love you” instead of I love you and he barely txted me yesterday and left me on read for a few and he’s broken up with me b4 and the day b4 he did he said we were fine and he said we were fine yesterday and I’m scared