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the NOCD Community

So I know a lot of people search for the cause of OCD so to speak. And while no known direct cause is really scientifically stated and it just seems to be a huge puzzle right now (like the human brain in general honestly), I'd like to talk about where I think my OCD roots from. I'm unsure why I'm posting this, writing my thoughts off probably. I digress, I think for me it started actually after getting bullied/isolated at school. I don't hear people on this app talking about this a lot but I bet a lot of us have been bullied/ignored/isolated before. I've read in a study before that the odds of developing OCD after bullying is from what I can recall 10 times more likely (I think it was even more). It was a higher odds than with depression, which shocked me at first because everyone knows that bullying can onset and that it increases the chance for that depression. But then I gave it a thought. The bullying made me become more perfectionistic, making me feel like I couldn't do anything right, lose self confidence, doubt myself a lot, etc. Perfect recipe for OCD, it sounds like. If anyone's interested I'll post below what my experiences at school were, but honestly I am more interested if many of you guys also went through something similiar.

how to deal with uncertainty about events you can’t particularly remember

After searching for a private therapist and having a hard time finding one that specialises in ocd I think I've managed to find someone, she has experience working with ocd patients one with harm ocd trained in cbt but doesn't seem to know much about erp. Also she's more of an online therapist uses Skype I worry it won't be affective what do you guys think? Has anyone had any experience with online therapy? She does do face to face but she's quite far away and I'm not ready to travel on a bus yet

any resources on Real Event OCD? Basically my OCD will make me remember things I said in the past, that were sexual (innuendos, jokes, conversations, etc) and make me answer the question “did you cheat?” or will say “you are a cheater because you said X.” The only relief I have found has been from 1) confessing things I said/did or 2) checking the message or figuring it out. I can only stop my thoughts when I say “I have already confessed that.” Or “checked that.” Yesterday I had a meltdown because I thought of something else I said to one of my guy friends and hadn’t confessed it - I basically made my boyfriend read 90% of my messages to this guy because I was so afraid I had cheated. My boyfriend said it wasn’t a big deal despite all the sexual jokes / innuendos / conversations. I was clear with this guy that I wasn’t single and we were usually just joking about stuff or just talking about it. So my boyfriend said “I don’t really care” with an exception that we cleared up. So you’d think I could say “well I already told him about it” but my OCD keeps saying “but what if this thing you said + didn’t confess really is cheating, you meant to turn him on, you were asking about stuff, that’s inappropriate, he would definitely dump you for this...” and if I don’t fix it, it threatens me with “you’re going to worry about this forever, you did something wrong and didn’t confess it, it must really be cheating if you don’t confess it because you’re keeping it a secret...” I am suffering so much ): I will take any advice at this point. I have been seeing a OCD therapist for about 3 months but can’t let go of this.

I feel so unlovable. After going through an abusive relationship and having my ex throw my past in my face, it really throws all my years of therapy out the window. I really am scared to open up again to anyone and i feel worthless. The current dialogue in my head really makes me feel like a crap person.

maybe a trigger for rocd-people: Right now I should be working on an essay I have to hand in but my thoughts drive me insane... for the last hour I‘ve searched the internet about the difference between (r)ocd and general anxiety disorder, because I wasn‘t sure, cuz maybe I do not have ocd and its just anxiety, which would mean that my worries about my boyfriend not being the right partner for me are indeed true... and I couldn‘t stop researching, it was so hard to close the browser because maybe maybe the piece of advice I was searching for would be behind the next link... Now I feel so fucking drained and tired and my head still keeps going: what if you do not have ocd, what if you are just acting that you have ocd, what if you do not love your boyfriend, what if my googeling is not reassurance seeking what if it’s just a way my mind is telling me that I do need to leave my boyfriend, what if rocd is not real ocd and everyone just pretends that it is, what if what if what if... and it‘s so fucking draining and I‘m so tired of it? any advice on what to do? (no reassurance obviously)

Hello Everyone! I could really use some support, or perhaps advice with how to deal with this! 3 nights ago, I was at a house party and a girl offered me her e-cigarette. I rarely smoke except for a select few occasions, but decided to take her up on it. I noticed a small red bump on her lip, and politely asked if she gets cold sores. My OCD revolves around contamination and a fear of illnesses, and I also wanted to be a bit safe. She replied with a no. Later that night, she explains to me that she LIED and didn’t think it was a big deal. I met this girl through a family friend and presumed I could trust her. We even both shared something in common: OCD. She blatantly lied to me, knowing about my fears, because she hated the “stigma of oral herpes”. At my expense. At this point... I am enraged. This entire incident has me giving into my compulsions... I am terrified I have it, and I am terrified I could spread the infection to my genitals. I was wondering if any of you ever had a similar experience? Or have cold sores and have any tips on how to resist compulsions? Am I taking the contagiousness of the virus way out of proportion due to my OCD? Or is it generally pretty serious? Any advice or support would be greatly appreciated! I know the disease is common and nothing to be ashamed about! I would just love some advice from someone who may be going through something similar. Thanks!

My anxiety is so bad right now should I go to the ER ?

No one just “has a little OCD,” just like no one “has a little schizophrenia” or “a little diabetes.” It’s important to not make light of a condition that affects so many people. Let’s keep spreading the word!?

Anyone here really struggle to sleep due to their ocd thoughts?

Any tips guys? ☹️ I’m going on holiday with my boyfriend tomorrow for 2 weeks and I need to NOT confess anything while I’m with him 24/7 ? how do you not confess something that you feel guilty about?

I read something where someone had TOCD and they actually became the opposite sex. I don’t want that to happen to me . I keeping begging god that I go back to normal . It’s freaking me out all of this . I literally feel like my heart is popping out of my chest because every time I get images of myself as the opposite sex I feel like a different person. I look unrecognizable, I feel sad . And I know if I did something like that I would regret it . But I really don’t know at the same time . I can’t do this . I’m supposed to see my psychiatrist today and I’m so afraid of what she will tell me

im not getting anxiety from ANY of the thoughts anymore. not even all the secondary questions, is it weird to want the anxiety back? i still dont feel like myself though, and i keep repeating the same mantra over and over in my head.

Does anyone else feel like their intrusive thoughts become more like an urge and a feeling? That's what's so hard for me to overcome. Not the thought itself because I know I can't control or stop that. It's when it turns into an unwanted urge that I can't handle

Tried the GG ocd app not really sure it's beneficial to me, can see it might be for some people but not for me and my theme of ocd (harm ocd) it just seems to be swiping thoughts into negative and positive categories. Very basic.

How do you stop yourself confessing to something you did wrong? Nothing good would come from it and I know it wouldn’t make me feel better. I’ve never wanted to confess it before but suddenly today my perspective on it has shifted and I feel an overwhelming urge to sabotage my whole relationship.

Looking for answers: I went to a very good medium (known around presidents) on that time i didn’t know I had HOCD, and I told him that inside my mind it was a voice telling me: “you are gay” and he told me very secure that i was bi! And he asked me if I had gone to a therapist. And i was 1 year and a half going with my psychologist, i was soo angry and confused, he told me that I was denying myself, so he suggested me to go witg his psychologist. It costed me like 4 months to cover from that. But now my mind is part with his voice: “you are bi”. So I learnt that nobody can give me the answer of who I am, even though he was a good medium.

I need to vent. Hopefully someone will relate to this- that would offer me so much comfort. An obsessive fear I’ve had for quite some time is getting poisoned. I have struggled with that obsession for years, but its peak manifestation has persisted ever since a “friend” gave me laced marijuana. It was the worst I’ve ever felt. It topped all of the trauma I’ve ever experienced because the drug enhanced the worst attributes of anxiety that would otherwise be somewhat manageable in a sober state. Now almost every time I eat, I have a panic attack. Almost every time I touch a foreign object (gas pump, door handle, etc.) a panic attack follows. Often these bouts of severe anxiety have to be internalized due to situations, making the physiological fixations far more severe. I fear that I may ingest some kind of oral poison or come in contact with some topical poison. I fear my food is laced with psychedelic drugs. Of course I understand these fears are unwarranted and irrational, but lately they’re the most prevalent obsessions in my mind and body. I don’t trust any food, even if I make it myself. I do have a history of anorexia (I was diagnosed with anorexia at the same time I was diagnosed with OCD) and the analytical part of me wonders of my illnesses have coincided to breed some kind of new combative way due to my successful efforts to manage both issues. I just feel like I’m going crazy sometimes. If you read this whole thing, you’re a champ and I thank you. Can anybody relate in any capacity?

This TOCD is really fucking me up in the head . Putting me in a really dark place and just fucking me up mentally feels like I’ve turned into a different person.

OK so I need some help. How do you accept uncertainty? I'm freaking out and can't go anywhere to help