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the NOCD Community

How long did it take you to start feeling like Zoloft was helping your mood/helping to cope with intrusive thoughts? And what dosage seemed best. I’m on 50 MG now. Thanks!!!

So this is why I hate this app. It’s designed to help people with OCD. But God forbid you post something that makes someone “uncomfortable” News flash: we’re all uncomfortable. You post something and people report it. So I guess only people with lesser forms of OCD receive support on here.

i’ve been cheated on and left a 3 year relationship august 18th, its now almost a month later, my dads birthday to be exact. and i went out to eat with my parents. and i kept having the intrusive thought that if my dad cheated on my mom. and now i feel like i can’t trust anybody. because i told my ex how fragile my heart was and everyday for 3 years he reassured me how he would never cheat on me. he said he couldn’t even cheat on me because he only has eyes for me and that i mean more than anything to him. he said why would he want to ruin us. and then guess what?? he ruined us and now my trust is shattered and idk anything anymore.

I’ve had a really awful day,last night I researched and I know I shouldn’t have and it was at night time, I was left feeling extremely anxious to the point I felt my insides were burning,then I woke up feeling the exact same,I started crying when I woke up and I was reching and now I feel so physically ill, my stomach hurts so much and I feel as if I’m going to throw up,i also feel so weak,and I’m not sure if it’s an ilness or just anxiety,but all I know is that I feel absolutely awful in every way

How does one live a nuanced life…it feels like everyone on the internet (and thus everyone irl) uses black and white opinions to simplify morality and I feel like a bad person if I don’t just blindly agree…all these simple platitudes that people on twitter use to make morality into this simple easy issue. I find it hard to believe that the people around me are living with nuanced thoughts on these polarizing issues until they start talking about it and I feel like my brain is breaking cause I want to say “bad person!!! Cut them off”, then if anyone is trying to promote nuance they’re “anti-cancel culture” and basically alt right…Does the world really work this way can someone actually hold nuance in todays day and age or is it just my OCD brain

Recently my rumination has been so bad that my ocd doesn’t focus on one thing. It feels like my brain is just flipping through a theme book and obsessing over every theme there could be… does anyone else suffer from this

I’m really struggling to know if I’m doing ERP right. My therapist is away for 2 weeks and I’ve been given homework. However I suffer with POCD & I’m not sure what it is I should be ‘sitting with’ as I don’t really have an initial intrusive thought. They’re immediate groinal/whole body responses and severe anxiety - there’s no sentence in my head initially. It’s just general panic then my brain starts to study the child & what it is I find ‘appealing’ about them. I’ve had a few successful ish days and then today it’s making me think it’s not OCD at all and it’s actually me attracted to children but trying to convince myself I’m not.

I’m in a relationship, 8 months now, and my narcissistic (diagnosed) ex and I had broken up about 6 months prior. We would sometimes drunk call each other but that’s about it. Anyhow, my current boyfriend is everything I could ask for. He treats me better than my ex ever could and I love everything about him. I randomly got a feeling about my ex the other day and hyper-fixated on it. I know continue questioning if I still have feelings for my ex even though I know I don’t at all and want nothing more than my current boyfriend. I don’t want reassurance because I know that won’t help, I just want to know if anyone else has ever had this OCD obsession of convincing themselves they want a toxic ex or just an ex back while with someone else? Most of my OCD obsessions are so obnoxious I’d know they couldn’t be true, but this one, while still obnoxious, isn’t as crazy as the others but it hurts 10 times more.

id love if someone could interact with me, stating their opinions on what i should do & if anyone has ever experienced this. i am in the most healthy, healing, loving, & spiritual relationship ever. i love him so much. we’ve been together officially a month in 2 days and i’ve known him for 6 weeks. my brain is telling me that i’ve terribly cheated on him because i had a brief conversation with someone on social media that i once found attractive. in the moment i had no intention to come off as flirty. it was a subconscious conversation like i’d have with anyone. i think because i have found her attractive that i’ve done something wrong. this person is still attractive and is my type but i’d never presue it. i’ve had a total of 2 very short conversations with this person. i’ve seen them one time in person for about 5 minutes. i do not know this person. when this happened about 2/3 weeks ago, my bf was actually right next to me, that’s how i know it wasn’t like i was trying to do something bad or inappropriate. this did not start bothering me until a week ago. i went a whole week without thinking about it and then all of the sudden my brain is now trying to convince me i did something wrong and that i’m a bad person. my brain is telling me that i should tell him what’s going on and possibly ruin the relationship. or it’s saying i should break up with him. it’s telling me i don’t deserve him. when i’m with him, the girl from social media keeps popping up in my head subconsciously. i’m not forcing this thought, it’s not me who’s thinking this. i feel like i’m fighting myself. none of these things are my reality. i feel as though i shouldn’t have even interacted with her but i can’t go back now. my thoughts are saying “well do you want to be with her. break up with your bf and be with her.” it’s trying to self sabotage. my other compulsion is to block her but that would be so out of pocket because nothing is going on. i keep asking myself how would it feel if it was vise versa & then i start to feel bad & believe that i actually did cheat. in the conversation with her, i made a joke about my bf. me and her both know it was a complete joke (just like girl talk) but if my bf read that, he’d be hurt/wouldn’t understand the joke. so much is going through my head and i cannot release this guilt. does anyone have advice? thank you so much for reading. anything is appreciated. i cant do this anymore.

I was told I had attachment disorder.

I find for me personally the biggest assistance with my health both physical and mental is my little cat 🐱 that I adopted as a kitten 12 years ago . If you have the resources and your situation permits it please consider adopting a pet from your local animal shelter. It makes a huge difference for the person adopting and the pet !

Hi, I’m a broke college student. I’m in a relationship with someone I care so deeply about but my OCD has latched onto it and distorted my thoughts and feelings about him. More over, my thoughts about feeling like I actually exist. I want to feel alive, I want to love myself and my lover, I want to be okay. But I can’t afford therapy. I want to try ERP but I am not sure where to begin. I’m an artist too and drawing has been so much harder because of it. Music makes me feel the worst. Help?

i haven’t been diagnosed w/ ocd but my therapist says i have like symptoms of it but i recently just stared dealing w/ Pocd (hell) that my therapist says was triggered from the sound of freedom which absolutely breaks my heart bc i was so excited to support the movie but now i feel like it’s one of my biggest regrets. i feel as if i would’ve never watched the movie i would’ve possibly never started dealing w/ this. But my biggest scare now w/ this is having my own kids . i’m F18 and throughout my whole teenhood my biggest goal and dream was to become a mother a GOOD mother. everything i tried doing was motivated by the thoughts of giving my kids the absolute best one day. Now i feel like it’s my biggest fear w/ dealing w/ this and i don’t know how i’d even explain to someone like my bf for example, of the reason why i don’t want to have kids anymore ( though i still really do but i just literally feel like can’t because of this 💔💔) are there any mothers out there w/ Pocd w/ kids out here? how do you cope w/ this? should i even have kids?? i also feel as if it kinda bad rn. i was doing good for a couple weeks and last night it just rushed back for no reason. i’ve learned what groinal responses are ( it absolutely scared the shit out of me before i found out what it was and i was just not okay and sort still am not when it happens. it just feel too real and i end up sobbing god i hate this ) and i feel as if i’m constantly body checking myself especially when i see a cute baby or children tiktok i love babies n kids id never wanna hurt them in such away i rather pass away. i just can’t believe why this this happening i used to be so much more happier before this and i really don’t know how to deal w/ this and what i should do😖💔💔

Hello, I will try to describe an obsession I have sometimes and then an example of it. I wonder if someone can recognize themselves in this. First of all I am in a relationship. But I have a problem that I get very interested in other women in my surrounding, even though I don’t want to since I love my girlfriend. It gets to almost an obsession that I need to check, for instance a colleague out (not doing anything physical just check them out). And I can’t relax when they are around because I know they are just outside my vision. Can someone relate to this “obsession”? I don’t want to feel this way since I love my girlfriend but this is eating me up…

Ok so my main theme is SOOCD and it eats me alive. When I was being bullied in school I became obsessed with talking to strangers on Omegle and began sexting people- including girls and idk if it’s because I thought it was wrong in my head or something which is why I enjoyed it? But immediately after I’d be like ew can’t believe I did that because I was just so horny for everything. I also watched lesbian porn too so this is something that I did for a couple of years since I was 16 but never something I wanted to do in real life. At the time I didn’t care it was some fun but I’m really traumatised by it ever since. I know I’m straight but my mind tells me because I did this online in the past there is no way I am straight. I feel so alone in the world I’ve been to therapy, had advice from several people but I just can’t listen to anyone because I know I’m the only one who has done that. I feel like it is sooooo hard to move past real events when you have OCD because people’s worst fear for me actually happened. So my OCD will forever convince me that I’m gay because of these events. I hate myself so much and always have- I don’t see a way past this and my life is slowly going downhill in every aspect because of it.

Most of my intrusive thoughts ( most, not all) are in English rather than my mother tongue. Now I wonder if that actually means something. Like it is a fact that people tend to have different personalities talking in different languages. Now I wonder if the English speaker me is more anxious ? 🤔

Depression is hitting really hard tonight because of my Harm OCD, I feel like it's never going to get better

there are 2 degrees to erp 1. You still have automatic mental compulsions to cover the triggering thoughts that are bothering you but despite that you choose to continue with your day while feeling distress instead of beating yourself up. That's a big step already 2. You stop doing the mental compulsions as well and let those specific triggering intrusive thoughts be there and be just thoughts and nothing else. This is maximal exposure. You'll feel more distress, you'll step further away from your comfort zone, but the more risk you take the greater the long term progress will be. It's a gradual process.

I know I need to face these emotions to gain understanding and resilience to them. But what happens when the emotions are just way too great that you almost find it impossible?

Ocd is making me to think that the morals and values of me have changed since it’s trying so hard to make me totally change the way I perceive myself even tho I know I love myself and every aspect that makes up who I am wholly . It’s cause me to have intrusive feelings I know aren’t real like ; lacking remorse for myself and lacking sympathy and putting myself into the perspective if I were someone else or if I had been born differently and how it would be so kick differently vs than what I am now. Omg my anxiety has flared up due to this when literally all night all I could be thinking about how literally my brain has been addicted to obsessing no matter what. I don’t wanna feel like I’m dissociating from my normal self or fading away from who I really am. My head is physically hurting from obsessing so much , in and out of episodes continuously throughout the day ruminating so much and eventually jus getting sucked back in after noticing how im slightly recovering from an episode . I try my best to acknowledge and accept that at the end of the day, really these are all jus irrational thoughts and they’re not a reflection of who I am nor will they change me at all. I recently got a new job after not working for so long and im worried my ocd will interfere with it and cause me to not wanna go in due to drainage and /or anxiety interruption I’ll feel tomorrow. I was literally getting ready to go to bed 🛌thought free and of course :( it had to think of something to pre-save for tomorrow to ruminate about 😔😞oh lord plz if you’re seeing this make it stop. Lord knows I’m not religious but this has gotten way too far I’m tired and desperate. I think ima check myself into the psych ward. I hate I can’t afford treatment and the fact that not many places can even accept my insurance, let alone provide ocd treatment therapy. I got off the phone with a place earlier today asking if they took my insurance and they said yea but they only provide talk therapy for ocd and I know it was a major red flag so I kindly declined it.