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What is everyone’s favorite alcoholic drink if you drink and if not what is your favorite kind of juice!? i like beer honestly and good tropical sweet cocktails like lychee martinis!

I am dumbfounded by how my whole life has been laced with OCD, and I never thought my anxiety was OCD-esc, since that’s not how it is portrayed in media or discussed in society. I also never truly gave therapy a shot for 25 years since I didn’t think I was mentally ill enough. It took being diagnosed with severe ocd, and depression that made me take a step back. I was not expecting OCD or depression, since i thought i was just a “high strung anxious individual” and since i do, on paper, enjoy life - how the hell could i be severely depressed (when literally i spend an allotted 5 hours a week on crying and being a disgruntled emotional mess) I’ve been through 4 sessions of therapy and each time I cry, even though I never think I’m gonna when i enter the session. I’ve been told i ruminate and all the planning, and thinking and attention to detail and journaling on journaling is not helpful how does one stop ruminating? when rumination is the only thing i do in my brain i am ruminating about ruminating if i don’t keep myself occupied with some form of stimulus i’ll think myself into a panicked state anyone break free from rumination, or have any perspective to share thanks 🫶🏼

I can't seem to find someone going through what I am going through, so if you are 1) currently worried that the Israelites are special in some way compared to the Gentiles (or similarly about men and women, etc), and 2) no verses seem to completely disprove your worries, then please let me know! Especially if you, too, don't feel heard whenever you talk about this. I thought I heard that some Christian women sometimes feel off about the whole men being the head thing, but I haven't seen anyone having a hard time about it like I have a hard time about my somewhat similar situation (I'm male btw)

I feel doomed. I don’t know if God is real. The ocd shows me no other option that He isn’t. I read my Bible every single day as a routine not a compulsion. I just don’t understand why it won’t change. It causes me to question all things in existence to the point of making me feel like this isn’t just ocd it’s schizophrenia which is then going to cause me to never know the truth or my family or why I am here again. The Bible explains why we’re here but my brain says it’s not enough. This world has been flipped upside down to me since 2020. I am exhausted from all this misinformation we have now. It breaks my heart. I just want the Lord to help me. I don’t want to question who He is and I don’t want to believe what my mind is saying but it feels like I have no hope if I cannot distinguish between what is false and true. I just don’t understand how this could even remotely be a good thing but God says He will finish a good work that He is started. I just find it so like. Untrue. Now. Like. I don’t see Him 😭😭😭. And day 7 of dreary weather. It’s making me so angry today. I know that’s the anxiety but I’m just fed up. I’m tired of the lies feeling so real to my mind that my reality gets distorted.

MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING ⚠️ this happened 2 years ago after i was sexually assaulted, it started of an obsession for me where i was scared i would do the same thing and i was overthinking and kind of physical contact but this memory of feel like i did something wrong, my mum was coming to say goodnight to everyone and i think this was a compulsion and i put my hand spread out on the bed and i thought if she leans over she will see the hand and i remember thinking it will be okay and then i remember she leaned over and he r body actually touched my hand and i remember i froze and i don’t know why i didn’t move there was lots of thoughts racing and i thought if i was touching her private area she would of moved but she didn’t but im scared i did and i don’t know if it was just her stomach don’t know, but this has plagued me for so long i remember wanting to commit suicide after it happened and i couldn’t sleep the whole night and i was extremely distressed the the point of self harming my self, in the moment when it happened i completely froze i don’t know what happens but i know for a fact i wouldn’t of wanted to make my mum feel uncomfortable or anything and in the moment it’s like i blacked out i don’t really know it’s very difficult to explain but i told her which i know was a confession and i shouldn’t have but she said there was nothing wrong and she wouldn’t lie to me, and i remember telling her and she was completely unphased and even hugged me, but i feel absolutely broken i don’t know how i can heal from this or if i even deserve to

I'm trying to fill out my hierarchy and I keep running into things that I thought were just me being weird. How much of me is me and how much is OCD? Is there anybody left after you remove the compulsions?

The past two weeks i’ve just felt like i’m better off gone and no one would care. I just feel like no one appreciates me or wants me around. I want to bring this up to my boyfriend who is always there for me and knows me best but i’m not sure if this is something i should bring up or not

I’ve come sooo far with my OCD I honestly can say it does not bother me anymore. I haven’t dealt with OCD for about over 4 months now? To the point that I’ve literally forgotten it existed no joke XD It’s so crazy looking back on the past when it started to make me feel depressed. Even looking at my posts on here throughout the years. I couldn’t do anything. I was staying in bed all day scrolling endlessly on social media, I wasn’t hanging out with family or friends, my appetite was gone so much I threw up as soon as food touched my tongue and I couldn’t sleep. It was a very difficult and depressing time. I only remember patches of it because I was so dissociated… at the end of last year was when I really started to recover. As happy as I was about recovering, healing also comes with change and I hated change. I started wishing I could go back to how things were bc I was “used to it” if that makes sense. Everyday started with “i wish my days felt/looked the same”, “i wish nothing changed”, “why am I changing as a person I wish I could go back to the old me”. It started making me feel sad because I thought I was losing myself, but little did I know I was literally on the path to finding who I am and what makes me happy and what I’m capable of. Until this year I’ve learned to accept the past is the past and the present is the present. Change is good and now I’m glad that things have changed. I feel in full control of my life again. Last night I was sitting in my bed just thinking “wow, I’ve changed and didn’t realize how much I was stuck inside my head the last few years”. As much as we all hate change we need to accept it. You cannot heal without change and you can’t be happy without change. It can be a journey for a lot of people to face it, but believe me your future self will definitely thank you for not trying to run from it. You all are so strong and brave and I’m so proud of you for how far you’ve all gotten. It might feel like you aren’t getting anywhere with recovery, but that’s not true. Each small step matters and is getting you somewhere. ❤️

A few days ago I remembered that when I had to hold my little sister because my mother was doing sth and I already didn’t want to touch her so I decided to grab her around her arms and like the shoulders but as I was holding her my brain started telling me I was touching her chest and from what I remember I then changed the way I held my arms in order to hold her better and not touch her but like a lot was going through my mind bc I think it also started telling me to touch her chest and everything got so much I don’t even know what thought belonged to which. One of those thoughts is because she was pretty heavy and while all these gruesome thoughts I also thought of holding her differently so my arms wouldn’t collapse at some point but since I didn’t want to touch her anywhere I hesitated and like a lot was going through my mind and suddenly I also had the „should I do it“ thought. And like the second that happened I started panicking because I was scared my brain might have meant touching her and not switching the holding position. I remember instantly feeling sick and like crying and since we were at an airport and had abt 2,5 hrs until we were home, I was silently suffering into myself trying not to cry and constantly feeling like an absolute monster. The next day I did some research on this and luckily managed to calm down but now I have another problem I’m scared I might have let into those thoughts of touching her and might not have realised it or even not seen it as a bad act. Like I know what’s wrong, disgusting and absolutely bad but I’m scared I might have thought to myself that it’s not that bad and might just simply have forgotten about it until now. And now I keep on trying to remember if I had touched her. Like all I can remember is that when I was holding her my brain started telling me I was holding her inappropriately and that’s when (from what I remember, idk if that had actually happened anymore) I put my hands to the point of only touching her arms. But now I’m really scared if I might have like touched her while holding her and that I’m some disgusting monster who touches children and should go to prison. And whenever I remember this and that I still don’t know if that had happened I start to get a stomachache, start feeling bad and really tired and dead, feel like I’m gonna have to throw up soon and like crying. Rn as I’m typing this I’m crying bc of it and I just feel so bad. I feel like I might be a threat to people and that I’m an absolute monster in case it had happened and that I’m just walking around and having friends while being somebody who has hurt another person. I don’t know what to do.

anybody else, while in recovery of a flare up question if they even have OCD or just anxiety became out of whack and then start questioning themselves and get nervous because they might be getting treated for the wrong thing? This is talking a toll on me ..

I think I have to admit that I have some problems with seeing God as a Father. My biological dad left when I was young about 4 years old. It seems to me that because I never really had a healthy relationship wirh my dad I cant have this basic trust in God who is a Father. In my mind He is more a just judge who only waits for us to sin in order to punish us. I know that this cant be true and that this is probably my scrupulosity. Im currently struggling again with sexual thoughts more than usual and I dont know why. The only thing which annoys me is that I wanna believe that He still loves me. Does anyone experience difficulties with similar things about parents etc.?

so my lovely bf and i have been dating officially 7 months, but the whole time about a year. he is amazing. i have an intense fear of him cheating on me or me cheating on him. my compulsion is to check his likes (which i’m very ashamed of), and i’ve been doing well the past week or so /not/ doing it until tonight. i gave in to the urge tonight and lurked and found something that is sending me on a huge spiral. initially it was him just liking a girls tweet about her close friends story, which i would then imply he understands bc he must be on her close friends, and then questioning why, etc. over text he could tell i was weird so i opened up about my ocd for the first time, no specifics but just telling him i’m struggling knowing what’s real and what isn’t. he wasn’t understanding at all and made me feel so weird, said it really worried him he went to bed and i went back to the girl’s twitter account and kept checking all the likes on her media. he hasn’t liked any recent selfies but i found a nude of hers he liked 2 years ago, and a profile photo she had of the two of them together 6 years ago. i’ve never met this girl and don’t know their connection but i have a pit in my stomach. i can’t stop shaking and thinking that he wants to cheat on me with her, or is cheating on me with multiple women just thru online stuff like insta dms and twitter. i want to check his phone so bad but i know it won’t really help me. i’m feeling so intensely distressed and disgusting and hopeless to say the least and i have no idea how to react or how to even bring this up. he is an AMAZING partner otherwise and my best friend, but he once had an abusive ex that would emotionally and physically abuse him and accuse him of cheating. i am so scared of being that. and i also am afraid of bringing this up and somehow being labeled as controlling or untrusting or even abusive. like obviously it’s not right of me to be checking his likes and i know that. it’s also not right of him to be making gestures (bc we all know a like is so much more than giving a tap) to a girl he would probably label as his “friend” that i’ve never met that he is attracted to and has some kind of history with, even if it was only friendship. we’ve never talked about those kind of boundaries before, but he seemed like a great guy and i thought it mostly went without saying. i wanna respect myself, but not self sabotage and lose a good thing acting from a place of hurt. please help :(

So for context, I was part of a friend group for about three years and it felt like I had finally found my people, the sort of friends who would be with me through thick and thin, friends I could rely on. Then one day I said something gross and embarrassing that made me leave our group chat in shame, wanting to cool off and just come back later. In my absence it turns out that most of my supposed friends actually found me annoying for various reasons (venting too much, oversharing, acting entitled, saying weird things sometimes or not reading the room) and so they decided to just not let me back in. I was also told that me leaving was an overreaction and treated like I had done something horrible by basically running out of the room crying. Ostensibly I was told that I could come back in about a week or two but I did not take this well at all, as I felt like a huge part of my life that I had been building for three years was just being ripped away from me. I periodically sent apologies to the various people involved, in one case needing to ask one of the people who would even talk to me to relay it as one of them unfriended me as soon as I left. After a while of the situation not improving I ended up sending "Well forget all of you, I hope you have good lives without me" messages that I very much regret as that just played into their perception of me, but I was just in such constant pain over the situation I wasn't thinking straight. As a result of those messages, I was called immature, self immolating, impossible to deal with, told that it was a relief when I left and they were happier without me there, and told I was spitting in the face of one friend whose way of talking to me after leaving I called cold. After a couple of weeks just letting it be because I was so tired of hurting (not that it really made it go away) I sent a level headed message showing understanding of how I made people uncomfortable and that I was very willing to improve, only to be told by the person I sent it to that there was no chance and he never even really considered me a friend, more on the level of a coworker or schoolmate who you only hang out with cause they're there. After this I stopped even trying and decided to make a separate group of the people who would still talk to me. Unfortunately I screwed up royally by telling one of them that I clearly was not as good of friends with those people as I thought, which lead him to ask why I would lead with that, noting that this was the only thing I had talked about with him for the past month (which is fair), and to keep their names out of my mouth around him because they are his best friends. So now here I am, three months after that last bit, still feeling the pain whenever I see or hear anything that reminds me of anyone from that group and I'm extremely tired of it. I've been ruminating over it a lot today and even messaged some of the people from the group to see if we could be friends outside of that group context, to which I either got silence or "lol lmao" followed by being blocked. Regardless, the whole point of this is, this has caused me to have extreme trust issues because I thought I could trust these people completely and that was absolutely not true in the slightest. Do y'all have any thoughts on how I can try and put this behind me despite how deeply I've been wounded by it? Sorry if this ended up being too long, I just felt the context was necessary.

Is OCD more centered on your reactions to thoughts? It’s bothering me so much because it won’t explain my past or past reactions to stuff, there’s no way that it can. Idk what to do anymore but I know I’d rather not exist. OCD only explains me ruminating and spending so many months googling 24/7, but that’s it

Hello all. I am a 24 year old female suffering from pretty severe OCD. Although my OCD is exhausting and takes a toll on me, I have been able to lead a healthy and normal lifestyle. I was able to graduate college cum laude while being a dual sport athlete and a member of multiple clubs and organizations. I am proud to say that I now hold a full time job post graduation and live on my own (with roommates). My compulsions are primarily mental (counting, repeating, ruminating) and I also tap, go back and repeat things, and reread (to name a few). My main obsessions are the following; scrupulosity, fear of sex/sexual things, bad luck, death, and doing something until it “feels right” or I stop feeling that terrible feeling of fear and anxiety inside. I feel that I often “get stuck” mentally with my obsessions and my compulsions and I am not able to “move on” from thoughts and continue living my life. This has worsened over the years and I feel very alone with it. I’m not sure if anyone else gets that “stuck” feeling but it’s the absolute worst feeling ever. It’s important to note that I have kept my OCD a secret since my diagnosis. Only my parents, brother, and therapists know of my condition. I have never told any friends, boyfriends, or other family members as I am embarrassed and ashamed of my disorder. I often feel extremely alone suffering with OCD. Now to the rOCD, I was dating a 24 year old male until a month ago. We dated for 6 months. When I was younger, my first OCD therapist told me that one day I would most likely suffer with rOCD. Although I did not experience this when I was in my first relationship in college, I am undoubtably experiencing it now. My current therapist I am seeing has told me that I often ruminate about him. Once I start talking about him, I get “stuck” and feel I need to continue to talk about him/share details of our conversations, adventures, etc. and it makes no sense to me why I do it, but I am aware I do it. That’s another thing that I believe is OCD, is that I feel I must know the “why” behind everything and I often feel I NEED to get answers to things. I have talked about this in therapy, and my therapist says I need to sit with the “maybe.” This is quite difficult for me. I often think about the past and the future and I worry and obsess about both that I cannot focus on the present. Being mindful is hard for me. Back to my relationship anxiety, as I write this post seeking advice. I’d like to preface by saying although I’m about to disclose all of the terrible/ugly things about my boyfriend, I was with him for a reason. We had fun, I enjoyed spending time with him, I found him extremely attractive, and we had common interests. When my boyfriend and I first started talking (we mostly snapchatted) and his location is visible to all of his friends on Snapchat. I saw that he was at a strip club. As I mentioned before, sexual things trigger me (although I have been able to have consensual, safe (GOOD) sex with my 2 ex boyfriends and that has truly helped me heal). I noticed that he ended up being at the strip club many nights. I know he was still single at that point, but it made me uncomfortable and anxious. Since he is trying to make it as a pro athlete, he goes to the strip club with his 60 year old (single) male sponsor which I find totally strange that a 60 year old and a 24 year old are hanging out all the time, but I digress. Flash forward, there were a lot of problems in our relationship and I broke up with him a month ago. I found out that he has issues with alcohol (and though I hate to call him an alcoholic, I believe he is one). I have communicated my concerns with his drinking and I have asked him to seek help, but he refuses. One night he was so drunk he pissed the bed and I woke up covered in pee. There have been many nights where I’ve had to drive him, help him get dressed into his pajamas, or even help him stand upright and walk. We dated long distance for about 2 months. Now we are in the same area again. I have broken up with him 3 times throughout our relationship. The first time I broke up with him was because he got so drunk one night he started to become verbally abusive and aggressive in my face. I really thought he was going to hurt me. He screamed at me for no reason and called me a cu**, f***ing b****, and other hurtful things. I minored in psychology in college, and truly believe that he suffers from multiple personality disorder or Narcissistic personality disorder. The multiple personalities are heightened when he’s drunk. He apologized profusely and I took time to reflect on everything and decided to give him another chance since he was so drunk that night and had never treated me like that before drunk or sober. The next time I broke up with him was because he ignored me and disappeared. We had plans to get dinner and spend time with each other when he was in the area (while we were doing long distance) and he chose to ignore me for an entire day (and I could see he was active on social media). Then I forgave him again and we got back together. Not even a week had passed and he had promised me he was going to treat me better, turn over a new leaf, never get aggressively drunk and verbally abusive again, and not go to strip clubs (he hadn’t been at all for months since we started officially dating!) but he called me one night and said he was at the bar and I looked at his location and saw it was the strip club and I screenshotted his location and sent it to him and said “we’re done.” He blocked me on all social media after that. A month went by and I tried to call him to talk and get answers as to why he did that/why he lied to me and broke his promises. I didn’t get too many answers and was left completely broken hearted. I thought about him every day for a month and cried about him almost every day. He reached out to me on my birthday and I cried most of that day thinking about him. I stupidly asked him to get together last week and we met up and talked. I thought I got my closure but then I felt the urge to ask him to spend time together again the next night and we did and ended up having so much fun like the good old times. I stupidly slept with him (I wanted to!) but I feel terrible/guilty for doing so after how poorly he treated me. Things have become very complicated now and he has asked me out on a dinner date tomorrow night where we plan to discuss getting back together. After I slept with him the other night, he fell asleep and I went through his phone to find that after we broke up, he has been texting a stripper. He invited her over to his sponsor’s house (the 60 year old man) at 4 AM and I confronted him about it and admitted I invaded his privacy and went through his phone and I apologized for that, but I told him I don’t trust him after his lies and broken promises. He claims that all he did with the stripper was kiss but I worry they had sex and I worry that now I’ll get an STD. I have been experiencing very severe and heightened levels of anxiety since he and I reconnected. I have been obsessing about all of this and worrying about this stripper and him going to the strip clubs. In fact, he is at the strip club right now. He and his sponsor are “VIP” there and I googled what happens VIP and was very anxious and triggered to hear what they do in there. He apologized for everything and for blocking me and admitted that he has had a hard time with this breakup/he has cried about it many times. He told me he still loves me and cares about me and he has been talking to me every day and he doesn’t want to hurt me. I know it would probably be best for me to not put myself through any more hurt, but I love him (I could be obsessed with him?) and feel that it was so miserable and lonely without him that I want him back in my life. I fear that I will be cheated on, hurt again, and he will continue to drink, lie, and break promises to me. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? If so, I would really appreciate your advice.

If I wrote a short story, and it was easily triggering, should I post it? Or would this be a bad platform for short stories, do you think? Also, I think it might be one that's harder for most people to relate to.

I feel like i am all alone in this whole big world of people. Although i have my many people around me physically but i have zero emotional support. I have so much on my mind. Whenever i want to express my emotions, i feel even more bad bcz nobody understands me and everyone just put the blame on me like everything is my fault. But i just cannot keep inside anymore. Its really hard for me. I litterally wanna cry alot and want someone who should understand me. Like there is no single person on earth who can make me feel understood and give me just a few words of encouragement and emotional and mental support. I sometimes tell this to the AI chatbots or sometines post it here just to get it off my mind. People here who dont even know me, usually tell me that they understand but people around me never understands. Although its a great support that i recieve positive words from here but i really want someone in my life to understand me and be on my side. I wish that to happen in my life atleast. Sometimes i feel so overwhelmed and now i am crying while writing all this. I dont know what to do and where to go. I cant bear this anymore. I cant hold all the pain inside all alone 😭😭😭😭😭😭

I want to “beat OCD” because it deeply affects my daily life and the lives of those I care about.

I’ve been pretty bad with eye contact lately, and it’s gotten worse… I’m afraid to look my mom in the eye lately because I’m afraid I think I might look at her chest or her lower body. I notice I’m doing some things on purpose like when I notice her in my peripheral, I’ll look when I don’t wanna look, or I’ll find an excuse to look at the areas I want to avoid but I know I don’t wanna look there, so am I using this as an excuse? Am I lying to myself? Do I really want to look at my mom like this? Like I’m avoiding to look at her by looking the other way or when looking down, but I’m looking down, I’ll purposely start looking near the area I want to avoid but I know I don’t look at my mom in any other way. I’m just distressing myself, it’s stupid.

I have real life ocd about an event that happened during the talking stage when my partner and I were just getting together. It’s been 2 and a half years and I still feel so much guilt and shame. I talked to my partner today and he said maybe I need to focus on myself but I don’t want to it because of this feeling. He thinks I don’t love myself, but I know it’s ocd and it’s something that I’m trying to manage how to learn but it’s so hard and I don’t want this to ruin my relationship. I want to live a good life with my partner by my side but sometimes it feels Like I have to choose between my peace of mind, or my relationship. I know my guilt Will always be in my relationship but idk what to do. Does anyone have advice