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For those who have stepped away from religion, did your OCD and scrupulosity become more manageable? Where you able to stop thinking about spirituality?

I'm ruminating practically all day and because the subject affects every aspect of my daily life I can't just "be in the moment." I'm thinking about designating a specific part of my day to allow 30min for rumination and journaling. I figure having that time period well give me a chance to go over whatever I think I need to figure out and allow for me to "table" my ruminations when time is up until the next day. Any thoughts or feedback on this?

Why is reassurance a bad thing for OCD?

So I think I came to a big breakthrough today in my struggle and I want to share it with you guys in case it’s helpful. For the past six months or so, I’ve been dealing with crippling real event and false memory ocd. This event happened almost two years ago and ever since it reappeared in my brain at a particularly anxious time of transition in my life, and all of a sudden a switch flipped. I decided that, despite the concrete evidence that factually lets me know I didn’t do something punishable, I’ve actually done something that warrants punishment and led to the belief that I was being watched and someone was out to get me and punish me for what I “did wrong”. This has made my life pretty unlivable and led to some severe anxiety, depression, and agoraphobia that resulted in me getting a prescription for Prozac about four months ago. I’ve been feeling a lot better, and had a lot of support from my family, friends, and partner who I opened up to about it. However, in the past few days I’ve had to confront some direct exposures in my work that have left me feeling super raw, triggered, and anxious. I’m tired of burdening my people with my constant fears that they see as irrational and can’t fully understand, and the realization that I was doing that left me pretty depressed. I realized I needed to do a brain flip to get back on the right track, but didn’t know what that meant. That’s when I came to a massive realization: what if I proceeded through life with the belief that I am innocent. It crossed my mind that in the months since this obsession came to me that I’ve decided to live with assumed guilt as if the fears my ocd has made me believe are real, as opposed to believing the material facts of the situation. This has taken a significant toll on me, and not just me, but the people I love as well. I can’t believe I’ve let myself acquire such low self esteem by believing what in all likelihood is really a massive lie my OCD has told me instead of what is actually, tangibly and overwhelmingly evidence based and true. Realizing that I haven’t allowed myself to believe I’m innocent of this act and letting myself live as though I’m guilty and burying that guilt day to day is actually not a protective measure, but instead has robbed me and the people I love of so much time and done damage I may never be able to fully recover from. However, I’m inviting myself to move forward with this idea of assumed innocence as opposed to assumed guilt because it makes my life much more livable, and I hope if it’s applicable to anyone reading this you can do the same . 🫶🫶

So a week ago a dog licked the side of my lip quickly, I don't know where the dog came from and he was very calm and playfull and friendly and didn't show any signs of rabies. And after he licked me I cleaned my face multipule times. Later I took the oppinions of 3 doctors and they all assured me it's fine But I went into a spiral and couldn't stop thinking about it and started googling it and google says other wise.... So should I let it go and trust the doctors or should I get tested.

i feel like crying. i keep coming back here but it’s the only place that calms me down. i keep getting thoughts and feelings that i’m going to give into these thoughts today. all i get is images of me harming my family members and i’m panicking so bad. i don’t want to hurt them, and now it’s saying that i actually do want to. it feels inevitable. i feel like a terrible person. i know i don’t want to do these terrible things. i was just fine a few minutes ago but it all just came back like always.

Almost a year ago I was diagnosed with Leukemia. I have been in remission since August. But now I am afraid of everything health wise and convinced something is wrong with my heart. I went to a cardiologist and he had me wear a heart monitor for 2 weeks. I just took it off today and won’t get results for another week at least. I still have to do chemo once a month for another four months. But I’m obsessively checking my pulse, I’m constantly worried and I’m convinced that there’s something wrong with my heart and that I will die before anyone can help me. I’m terrified all the time. It’s debilitating. I’m seeing two therapists and I’m medicated and nothing seems to help. I feel crazy and that no one is taking me seriously because they think it’s all just health related anxiety. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to live my life and be happy that my cancer is in remission but I can’t because of this never ending fear. I’m hoping to find some help here, or at least find someone that can relate.

The thoughts I’ve been stuggling most recently is ”is the world real or am i really in a simulation” (solipsism and such) of course i dont truly belive in it but it feels impossible to disprove, and the thought of being completely alone distresses me greatly. I know i shouldnt ruminate but it feels nearly impossible to not when everything i exprience is in doubt. It also relates to my original harm-ocd. Anyone who can relate?

So I was outside with my mom buying fruits and i was enjoying it and no really bad thoughts were in my mind.Then we went to pay and i just looked up and there was a doll (one that appears in a horror movie,i don’t want to write the name because of anxiety😭)and when i first saw it i just thought it was cool and that’s it.then after a minute my mind said that its going to kill me or my family, or harm me going to poison my food (another type of intrusive thoughts i struggle with) and it just kept repeating itself even when i was thinking my own thoughts it interrupted and i couldn’t stop thinking about it.I told myself it literally makes no sense and to stop being scared about it but it just made it worse and i just started being really mean to myself for being scared of these thoughts i’m still anxious about it 😭🤦‍♀️

this is probably the worst thing I've ever worried about just because everyone says "people don't give in to their intrusive thoughts if they did then they aren't intrusive' After I mostly seen that it has me freaking out because then it makes me think it was really me because in the moment it felt real and felt like something nasty took over me to make me keep looking and then the nasty thought I had with it it's like usually when I have a nasty thought I'm like nah but this time I can't believe I actually listened to the thought and went along with the thought not even thinking about it twice just went along with it like I said it was like something nasty took over me and I literally TURNED MY HEAD I turned my head! to look more because my thought you'd me too like I was almost into it and then the nasty thought appeared then I freaked out and have been since then What's crazy is I can't even Remember exactly what the thought was I had I just know it was nasty Me turning my head more and look more because my thought told me to and then the nasty thought that I had about what I was looking at it felt like me felt so real and it's scaring me I don't want it to really be me and I dont know if anyone can help me on that which scares me even more I just want to cry and go back to what I was before I'm just so scared it was actually me trying to get into it like Get INTO IT and turn my head to look more because it felt like me Please I hope someone can help i don't want it to be actually me because it was something a person shouldn't like and it's freaking me out

Hi I have had OCD for a while and ive had this worry on the side for a fair bit. I started going gym a few weeks ago and Ive noticed myself getting excessively tired. Its likely due to me not getting enough sleep and obviously doing a lot more exercise but I am worrying if its cancer as Ive heard a lot of stories of people with cancer having extreme tiredness before theyre diagnosed. I almost want to go to my GP to ask about it but I dont know if its OCD or if this is a completely justified worry. If it is OCD im almost glad as it reassures me that I do have OCD as one of my big doubts is that I might not even have it. Ive seen many therapists who all said I do have it but they didnt give me an official diagnosis so I still worry about that. I know that worrying you dont have OCD is a common thing but It doesnt matter to me for some reason and I worry regardless. Thanks.

my harm ocd is saying that i have to carry out my harm thoughts and that i have to do it. but i don’t want to? i don’t know how to sit with this it makes me believe that i’m genuinely an evil person :(

So after taking a break from this app for a little over a month I thought I'd make a decision to cut out bad habits that I feel I can't moderate or affect my dopamine. (gaming, TV etc). I did this cold turkey and it highlighted a compulsion that is never really considered, avoidance. I used to think the days were never long enough and how can I possibly do everything in a day. Now they're incredibly long and I find it hard to fill up the time. I joined a new gym and now go for runs. I've started reading which I find enjoyable but can only do it for so long until my brains screaming at me to do something else. I went over some work stuff and found out since the passing of my nan, my financial situation wasn't really kept on top of as ocd went full throttle. I lost thousands... Numerous panic attacks and suicidal thoughts. Stressed me beyond belief. Then there was a light at the end of the tunnel and thought I can get myself out of this ocd hole... And my car starts playing up and causing me to lose thousands more. I took it in to get worked on and they handed it back "fixed". It almost killed me a few days later. If I wasn't experienced enough to deal with the issue I could've died. I took it back and did my best to stay calm and didn't raise my voice. I wanted reassurance but I know its bad for ocd, but I think in this case it's acceptable because it's just reassuring me that my car would be fixed properly and I'd be able to eat and pay the bills. Car issue is almost resolved but omfg the stress over the last month was unbelievable. I got better after therapy without a doubt and I know I can get better again but this all brought it back. Once I got rid of daily distractions and looked at improving my life I didn't realise how much ocd and these habits kept me from looking at the huge hole I buried myself in. I made a deal to give into some compulsions whilst I sort this out as I'm struggling to fight on all fronts at the moment. It's too much. Once my finances are sorted, ocd is going to be a priority to work on again. One thing I learned was you cope with stress, and manage the stressors. I feel as if thats not clarified enough anywhere. Oh and one more thing, I watched a video regarding to me being depressed naturally because of the suicidal thoughts and it was interesting. Basically asked if I was depressed or just have a terrible life. I'm both, but it's because I have a terrible life at the moment. But that will change. Just wish it changed faster 😅 And I think a woman at my gym class has a crush on me so that's one good thing. Can't all be negative

I'm depressed, sad, angry, fucking livid... For some context my OCD has gotten to the point of not making any noise or light in order to do prevent my parents from being distracted when opening or closing the freezer and potentially trapping a stray cat inside, which would be my fault since I'm the one who made the distraction. Since it was becoming impossible to live correctly, because I would stay in one position watching videos with my headphones for hours while they were making food, I decided that I would just check the freezer once a day, a tedious process involving me having to record the entrance of the freezer with my tablet while removing everything and recording the insides of the freezer with my phone. After two days, I had enough and decided to just be careful but two days ago I was pissed off because I was waiting for my parents to go to bed which they usually do at midnight but it was 2 am and my dad had been dozing on the couch for almost 2 hours with my mom telling him to go to bed every 5 minutes. In anger, I squeezed my phone and it slipped, the bright side was now facing the window and could've been a distraction. I took it upon myself to not check the freezer and I haven't since, but I feel super guilty because I don't know if I did squeeze my phone knowing it would potentially make a distraction or not. Since then I feel like I lost, I've been trying to be as careful not to hurt a cat for a year with compulsions, a failure to do so would "corrupt" my hobbies, rendering them "bad" to do (I can't explain that feeling, it's like when you try to play a RPG but you mess up and it feels off, especially with perfectionism OCD). I also have kind of the same thing with my windows where it takes 30 minutes to close them because I need to check if a cat isn't on the windowsill with the same tablet and phone setup. I told my mom she shouldn't open the window in my room because it takes me a while to close it but she doesn't care, and today while returning home I found my windows half-opened because she returned my plant I had left on the balcony, and it's driving me crazy because how dumb can she be, she knows not to open it bit she does it anyway, and it's not like it was an urgent matter to return it and she could have placed it on my desk but nooooooooo... I'd check the windowsill now but I can't, I'm afraid my tablet makes ultrasound or EM waves that will distract my cats in the kitchen and that they will brush against the freezer door which could cause it to open and trap a cat inside, and it would be my fault because I would have made some noise with my tablet... I feel like I'm losing no matter what...

I’m making a psychiatrist appointment finally to get medication and I’m mortified. Talking to an OCD specialist about my POCD is one thing but with an psychiatrist who can easily doubt that it actually is is horrifying. I don’t know what’s gonna happen and I have no idea even if/when i do get the medication if it’ll actually help or just prove that I am a p. I already feel like I am and I don’t know what to do.

Would love to hear from someone what managing OCD was like before taking medication vs after! I'm considering restarting a medication but dragging my feet. I think being reminded of their usefully would help! 😊

I feel like my ocd about my looks is sort of fueling my ocd over race and beauty. I have this one friend who isn't into Asians or Indians and that's his preference and is fine. Me and this other former friend (ugh he's so annoying wouldn't stop hitting on me and anything else he saw) Anyways I'm bisexual and we were talking about our preferences in dating. I said I have a thing for dark skin and I liked Indian women and black women. He listed specific European countries, and some middle Eastern countries. He was super specific about the certain regions and countries so I think he knows Europe well or something. He wasn't talking about white people as a race just specific countries and he's mentioned that race has nothing to do with attractivness, skin tone has nothing to do with attractivness . But my brain is automatically going to "everyone thinks white women are more beautiful and you're not gonna be anyone's type". Is this a reach? Even the friend who said that said I was objectively quite good looking, and said he'd date every race. Odds are he was talking about style and aesthetics rather than festures. Idk how to get over that weird racial insecurity I have. What helps is my Indian friends are gorgeous so if someone doesn't like them that's their problem

My most obsessed thought is am I going to be like this for the rest of my life. I have no desire to do anything nothing is fun I'm serving a life sentence in my head. I've lost every friend I've ever had because fun doesn't exist in ky life its what if we get in trouble what if someone gets hurt how will that person feel will the think I'm a bad person and 200 more what ifs and by what if number 6 you've lost someone else u cherished. I've had countless relationships with some of the most amazing girls and every one of them always say I did not know it was this bad and they disappear. If theres some kinda help out there or any way I can help someone else that is living anything close to my life sign me up. I often feel like there's only one way out and that there is no help for me but I keep faith and hope that there is. Stay strong there's gotta be a cure for this. Thanks

What should you do when OCD stops you from doing the things that you love the most, for instance, before OCD happened I used to be a huge fitness enthousiaste, going to the gym 4 times a week and now I can barely find the energy to do so, it's not the same how I was prior to OCD and I'm so scared that OCD would rob me of my life

so a few months ago i heard about “the lamp” story on reddit. it’s sent me into overdrive since and i’ve been struggling extremely bad since i heard about it. earlier today i was showing my friends my tattoo, i was telling them what it said off memory but they corrected me and said “no it’s says “until being strong is the only choice you have” and i can and have only remembered it said “strength is the only choice you have”. (that is not the full tattoo that is just the part that was mixed up). it instantly brought me back to the lamp story … in the story he saw a lamp was looking “odd” or “warping” and it caused him to wake up from a coma. in his dream he had a family and a whole life and a job and all and came to find out none of it was real. since then i have been struggling with nothing being real and convincing myself i am also in a situation similar. my brain instantly brought me into hyperdrive and has told me the tattoo is my “lamp” and it is going cause me to wake up from a coma because it’s not what i remember it being. please tell me someone understands. i am really not okay and in all honesty i feel like im going insane.