Welcome to
the NOCD Community

i wish I didn't but my brain has prejudice and i feel kinda bad

Today I’m feeling very down. I lost my grandpa early this morning and I saw him before he passed, it was extremely scary and stressful. Seeing his body and being able to hear his lungs dying is so permanently etched in my brain I’m starting to obsessions/compulsions I haven’t had in years and it feels so so awful. I can feel my lungs and I’m obsessing over my own health now and it’s so scary, I’ve healed myself from that and now it’s back.

it consumes me and I am scared to even type this. All I do Is going on reddit and read articles..even when my partner is sleeping next to me. But there are so many signs this isn't Rocd and the relationship is just dying which makes me so sad to think about. This is my longest relationship I've ever had and we still have loving moments but being with him kicks my anxiety into overdrive. 1. I have loss my desire to have sex and now sex makes me extremely anxious..I'm not as turned on as I use to be as well. We use to have an amazing sex life and I craved it all the time until ROCD came...is this normal I would like to blame ROCD as I had a very high sex drive before these awful doubts attacked me 2. I criqitue, overanalyze, and obsess over every little thing he does. Any slight tone of voice or expression has be jumping to the worst conclusions and it makes me so anxious to hangout with him 3. I'm feeling way less loving. Yesterday when he first came over we laid on the coach and looked into each others eyes saying how much we loved each other and it was amazing. But as the day went on the romance began to slip away. 4. I feel annoyed by him way more often...I do become irritable towards anyone when I spend a lot of time in my head though These just all sound like signs of a dying relationship but I love him (typing this made me feel unsure) and we've always worked so well together. I miss being able to spend time with him without feeling like every little thing was a test and critiquing him in my head. I want to be able to love him for him again with all of his flaws included. Everytime I bring up an issue he is so understanding and makes an effort and I know he is a good healthy partner. I just want this to end.

Hello, I’m 25 weeks pregnant, and I’m having intrusive thoughts. I was molested as a child multiple times and have always been afraid to have children yet here I am. These thoughts came out of nowhere and I’ve been so terrified. I would never harm my child or any child. I’m so distraught, I’m thinking about abortion because I’m so afraid. God please help me, I can’t do this

Is it reassurance if I tell myself “if it happened the way you think it did then you would have remembered it without a doubt” the first part of my memory is real and when I first thought of it there was a feeling of shame attached. Now I’m been wondering if more happened or if i’m choosing to forget the horrible parts but I feel like if more happened then there would be shame attached to that too therefore i’d remember it.

Over the last two or three years I experienced many life changing events. First, I graduated college after taking 11 years to complete my degree due to having dyslexia and processing and developmental delays. Second, I finally garnered the confidence to get my driver's license in my early thirties and eventually bought my own and my first car. Third, I was lucky enough to have enough money saved up to buy my first home. It had not been long before my family noticed that I was taking longer in the shower than maybe I intended. I found myself washing my body and hair four times each and still not feeling clean. This evolved to being ultra sensitive to smells and germs regardless of if they were on my body or not. I wash my hands till they are red and raw. I have avoided going outside or even going to my house and garage. On top of that, if anyone mentions me needing to go outside, whether in my car or not, I get this stinging and tingling feeling all over my body that feels like my skin is burning or on fire. After a rough conversation with my mom, I now can get a hold of it and only feel clean if I run through a checklist of convincing myself that my hair, body, hands, and feet are all clean after a shower and before I get into bed at night. I have never done this before in my life but I feel like its gotten to the point that I have an anxiety attack and my skin feels like it is burning from the inside if I think about even just sitting outside with my dog. I have never been diagnosed or even treated for OCD, but I'm hoping through an OCD therapist, I can get the help I need.

Recently I’ve been feeling like if I look at myself in the mirror and think I look good / hot that this means I’m attracted to the same sex because I’m female and I think I look amazing, so I obviously think other females are hot too then. It feels like such a warped way of thinking 😭. Can’t wait to have my first therapy session soon and finally start to beat this!

I have made so much progress but recently had a set back since the thoughts started coming in not as what ifs but more like urges with commands like “do it” “you’ll be so much happier if you did” “he’ll be better off that way” etc etc.. I’ve done exposures with knives and other things that helped lessen the severity but how can I “accept” the thoughts when I feel like they are the worse thing ever. I had one the other day that was like oh you should take out life insurance on him.. like how can I just sit with that? I don’t get as much anxiety with them and the doubt makes me now think what if I actually have intent to do it now… any moms out here who are going through this… how did you learn to just accept the thoughts as just that.. thoughts?

Even when I fall asleep feeling really good I will wake up in guilt and scared I have harm ocd and it’s like I’m scared I did something in my sleep so I feel better when everyone in my family is asleep I also lock my door at night and it’s always still locked when I wake up which helps a little but I’m not sure what to do all this stems from an article I seen about a guy who dreamt of fighting flamingos and ended up killing his family and this scared me sooo much

Does ocd put these types of thoughts in your head about anyone that’s even remotely attractive… stuff like “they look good or would look good naked” and puts images there of them people like I don’t want to think this stuff it makes me feel actually disgusting. Especially when it’s saying it about people from my past I don’t want to think this stuff at all. I hate this illness. How am I meant to ignore these thoughts I feel horrible I love my boyfriend so much

I'm blaming my substance abuse on OCD. I think my anxiety and OCD had caused me to be dependent on alcohol. Anybody else feel that way?

Anyone else feels like their anxiety causes them low-mood? And which makes you feel depressed and numb? It is hard to get over this feeling.

Anymore. Does it mean it’s not ocd? I’m just frustrated. Those thoughts are different from who I was, but I’m not feeling like myself anymore. Anyway it should pass, but it’s so so so hard. I feel like I survive everyday. 😭

Sometimes after I’ve done something „risky“ on my phone or something that makes me uncomfortable or leaves me insecure, I go on this app here to read/like/comment. This might be a compulsion.

I've been living with OCD for over a decade now. I've tried various methods, seen therapists for several years (and still am), started taking medication in the recent months, and turned to Christianity, hoping to harness the power of religion to aid myself. I've tried all sorts of approaches. What I want to say is that many times, I've felt these methods were helpful, especially since I began taking medication in the past few months. However, I still experience lapses every so often, like in the last four days where I've spent most of my days ruminating. I'm feeling quite down at the moment. Previously, during lapses, I would remind myself to look on the bright side and live in the moment, starting self-care right from the now. But having it continue for four days straight, I've really started to lose some of my confidence. I wonder why, despite doing so much, I still experience such severe lapses. And now, I find myself somewhat unwilling to come out of it. I hope you all can offer me some words of encouragement. Thank you!

I’ve been having this since a month and it’s horrible like I might forget how to breathe it becomes manual, and it’s every second of every day, distractions don’t really help and I feel so hopeless. I am not diagnosed with OCD, diagnosed with GAD but after a bad cold I developed this similar OCD condition being so hyper aware of my breath.

My obsession is so obscure and specific and I’m sure no one else has it bc every time I Google it no one relates so it’s making me think that it’s not an obsession and I’ll never overcome it. I just wish I could go back in time when I didn’t have this obsession

I’ve been struggling for a few weeks in my relationship. I often get stuck in a loop of frustration when my boyfriend isn’t understanding why I’m irritated, but I’m too scared to tell him out of the fear he’ll break up with me, then I get mad at myself for not expressing what’s wrong. It’s become so hard that I sit in silence and cry. He isn’t doing anything different, I just keep obsessing. Any form of advice is more than appreciated.

Anyone else feel like they’d rather have any other type of ocd than the one they currently have bc I swear I can handle anything other than this bs (if it even is ocd)

I feel like now I’m just completely in denial and the next step is acceptance. I love my boyfriend will all of my heart and I really don’t want to leave him but now I’m scared I have to. I also just read something someone left on someone else’s post saying how exploring your sexuality is something you should not be ashamed of and should try. That just completely sent me over the edge. The thing is I want to like boys but I feel like at this point it’s not my choice I was just born to be a lesbian and I have to accept that even though it’s not what I want. I feel like this is something my relationship can never recover from and now I just have to break up with my boyfriend and move away to be with a woman. I don’t want to hurt him ever and that’s truly my biggest fear. Every time I feel happy with him there’s always the thought in the back of my head that I would be happy doing the same things with a girl and it truly ruins the moment. I can’t get this out of my head and I would really appreciate some advice. I just want to know I like boys too so I can stay with him forever but I know I am never going to find the reassurance I need so I feel like I’m never gonna get over this bc it’s just the truth. This is so painful I don’t know what to do at this point