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the NOCD Community

So I was given fluoxetine for my OCD and I'm worried because you know I'm a Christian and I do believe one day God can heal me but what do I do with my meds my mental health doctor prescribed it to me I was wondering should I keep taking it many say I shouldn't because it is too much serotonin and it doesn't help like natural serotonin and now I'm worried

I am 22 year old straight male. In 2020 I had an OCD theme about if I am gay or not. It took me 6 months to beat that OCD. Recently when I was swiping through NOCD and a sudden glimpse of the word "Bisexual" caught my eyes. And a ocd feeling started growing with the question," If I am bisexual or not." Now there is no reason for me to think myself as bisexual. But whole day I try to tell myself why I am not bisexual. Things like, "Well, I get erection when I see a girl and I dont have feelings towards a boy. So, I am straight male." Can anyone suggest a solution. I have financial issue. So I can't reach any psychiatrist. Please help.

I wish I could get a brain scan or go back in time and see all of my thoughts and behaviors and know for sure if I’m straight or gay. I just want to know. I keep thinking back to when I was younger and I’ve only ever liked guys but I obviously can’t know that for certain. I can’t know if I forced that, I can’t know if maybe I had a girl crush and forgot. This is so hard and I’m so jealous of people that haven’t questioned their sexuality and just know. I just want to be certain I’m gay … at this point idc if I’m bi bc at least I would still like guys

Good morning everyone. I struggle with uncertainty in general and am looking for mantras or ways to respond to anxiety when I feel like I need to know the answer right now. Sometimes the sense of urgency can make it hard to focus on other things aside from the thoughts so I will often engage in a form of reassurance seeking. Going to be starting NOCD therapy this week!

Hi everyone! I wanna share something that’s really helped me & it’s to stop the cycle of rumination. It’s easier said than done but that’s usually what gives me the most anxiety. A thought only lasts a second… it’s what you do with that thought that brings a whole deal of anxiety… at least for me. Of course there’s times where I catch myself ruminating and stop myself from it but I’m working on it. It’s hard when the thought feels so real that I have to check and analyze the memory that comes with the thought to figure out what I was thinking at that time but obviously this gets me now where. Thankfully after two long, hard weeks the sensation I had in my chest and body lowered immensely. I still don’t know how to accept the fact that I can be gay bc I have a boyfriend that I am terrified of losing so if I just accept that I might be gay that will ruin everything. If anyone has any tips on this lmk!!!! I think what’s the hardest for me is getting memories from when I was younger and trying to figure out why I did some of the stuff I did. Sometimes I get reassurance that I’m straight but often I get even more questions and anxiety. It’s like this is the one thing keeping myself from living a happy life with my bf… once I figure this out I will not feel anxious about anything else. It’s hard man. We can do this & we got this!!!!

So I've been struggling quite hard with my self esteem and life events which have exacerbated my hocd, pocd, negative thinking this past so many months. I'd put my life on hold, while trying to do things to build my positivity as the waiting list for therapy is ridiculous. I've been trying to push through ot by doing things I normally enjoy, like theatre. It's still been a struggle but I've been trying not to let this deter me. My mind right now just keeps thinking of the worst possible outcomes, with a helping of self critism. I've just found out I've got a new job that I could be starting as early as tomorrow, as a teaching assistant, something I've never done before but want to try as I've been in a rut in my life for so long and want positive change (even though change scares me too) Then I read NOCD's article on distractions becoming compulsions and it's giving me anxiety, which in itself I worry triggers more overthinking. My big issue right now apparently is confidence and a huge lack of self esteem, which has brought on my HOCD, POCD, SOOCD etc, pretty much anything negative my negative ninny brain can get ahold of and overthink. This job is new and anxiety inducing, but also wanting it to be positive and negatives give into the fear of it and the unknowns it creates. Building my self esteem (trying to change my brain's automatic switch to negativity thought patterns around me, get out of my own head) and trying to discover a purpose in my life could help aliviate my anxiety and OCD symptoms. Right now, I'm just sitting in them and letting them swallow me, despite my know I have to accept whatever thoughts come my way. I need to move forward with my life and do something. I know this isn't an overnight thing. With NOCD saying that distractions or doing other things becomes a compulsion in itself throws my head into more negative thinking, as if you're saying doing this is going to fail and there's no hope for me. I can't let myself believe that, because I don't want to live in fear, I want to face them. I want to live my life again and get my brain out of this pattern. Surely distractions or doing positive things (that are initially scary) will help to break my catastrophising thiught spiral and find it easier to manage my symptoms and get on with my life?

How do you guys deal with emotional contamination?

Good morning! My name is Zach and I currently suffer from what I believe to be harm OCD. I constantly have thoughts of hurting myself or others. It has really become exhausting and I need help. I’m currently seeing a therapist for it and just started ERP but I want to know more about this program and what it has to offer. I want my life back and I want to be in better control of my thoughts and compulsions.

Does anyone have any advice on how to best practice ERP? My ROCD revolves around constantly worrying about “what if I start to like someone else” and feeling like the scary awful feeling of having to break up. I do a lot of talking out loud and envisioning the scenario happening (my therapist and I do this) but the thoughts and worries are loud and that’s not really helping right now. Anyone with ROCD have any advice?

So I’ve been dealing with severe ocd for the past 3 years.. I’ve dealt with it all my life but had up and downs and thought I was finally getting my life back and now over the weekend I got a huge trigger. It revolves around being intoxicated and having holes In my memories of that night. I was fine the next day and hangin out and then started to look back on the night and that’s when my brain picked the blank in my memory. It got really dark with the what ifs and the anxiety went thru the roof but now it has stuck and I can’t stop trying to figure what happened in those blank moments. Everyone I was with said nothing bad happened but I just keep having false memories. Anyone have these moments?😣😣😣

I have intrusive thoughts in my mind practically every minute of my life. I exhaust myself fighting them. I dread the night. I cannot sleep . Most evenings I lay awake trying to distract my mind until the sun comes up. I am so very tired. I had OCD since I was a child. But back then I didn't think anything of it because I didn't know that something was wrong. I went to a doctor once. He prescribed medication that made me feel like a walking zombie and even that didn't work 100%.

How can you tell if a thought pops into your head or if you are conjuring it? And does it matter that I can't tell? I am tying my brain in knots trying to work out if the thoughts I have are simply there or if I am creating them/bringing intrusive thoughts and images to mind. It's like I can never truly relax my brain and see it for what it is. It feels like there are a million thoughts in my head at the same time that haven't even materialised into thoughts, but then by being aware of that I am thinking about those thoughts. It is also like my brain is constantly scanning for intrusive thoughts and then inevitably thinking them. Do I need to just accept not knowing/fully understanding my brain?

https://youtu.be/ZXsQAXx_ao0?feature=shared Love you all 😂 have a great Monday

Does anybody else feel like they have to go pee just one last time except it happens over and over again at night time? I usually cave and go to the bathroom after feeling like I have to for a long time but it’s always just a dribble like I didn’t actually have to go. I was seeing a physiotherapist for pelvic floor exercises and she said that it wasn’t a physical issue and that it was most likely psychological. Wondering if this is OCD? Somatic OCD possibly?

I'll be 31 this year and I'm such a complete failure as a human being. I just had a breakdown over doing dishes. I have four specific cups that I use and normally I try to wash all of them at once, it really reassures me knowing I have three backup cups in case the one I'm using gets "dirty". Lately, though, I've only been able to wash one at a time and that causes a lot of stress only having one usable cup because if it gets dirty I have to spend the next half hour washing it, my hands, etc. Well tonight my cup got "dirty" and I thought everyone was asleep so I thought I'd try to wash them all. I don't like doing it when people are awake because it takes so long, I have to do it in a specific way and I'm embarrassed by it all. So I started and I was really struggling. I kept having to rewash and rewash because the bubbles just wouldn't go away and then my mom came into the kitchen and we were talking. My anxiety spiked because I was afraid she'd mention how long I'm taking or try to rearrange my cups or touch my arm and I just felt like a horrible person thinking these tboughts when all she's doing is talking to me but it just makes an already really stressful situation even more so. Then she left. I got two done, so I was half way through and then I thought the next cup was clean and I put it into the stack of clean ones but then I noticed it still had bubbles and now I had to start all the way over again. I wanted to cry and I thought I was going to have a panic attack. I just wanted to be done and get something to drink and lay down. I tried starting over but my mom came back and I just couldn't deal with it so I quit and she smiled at me and said "finally done?" She knows and tries to understand how much I struggle and tries her best to help me and I love her so much for that and I'm so awful for feeling more anxious around her and having thoughts of just wanting to be left alone. She looked so proud of me, thinking I finally got done with my stupid little task and I just couldn't handle knowing how much of a disappointment I am and I started crying. She hugged me and offered to clean my cups for me and I wish I could let her but I can't. My OCD won't let me. Only I can clean my cups. My OCD isolates me and makes me feel so alone. I need help but I can't have any. And just facing the realization that I'm having a breakdown at 1am in the kitchen over not being able to clean cups properly just made me want to die so bad. Every little victory I have doesn't mean anything because I'll never get better. I lost so much time, I'm old and I don't know how to be an adult or take care of myself and I don't know what to do anymore. I hate myself.

Once again I fell into the trap of using porn and eroticism as an escape valve, even though I knew that this was never a good thing. And as always, I got worse than before, sadder and more disappointed with myself. I'm a failure

this is going to be a strange post but bear with me!!!!!!!! a therapist i had once suggested looking at my ocd/intrusive thoughts as being in a car with some weird guy in the back who says all the upsetting ocd stuff. theyre back there and are annoying or offputting BUT ultimately you are driving and can just ignore the weird guy and remind yourself YOURE the one driving, basically. does anyone else personify their ocd thoughts/impulses/fears/etc? if you do, do you get along with this personified guy? or do you argue, or ignore, or shame it? i am currently in the camp of "i hate that guy and he scares me so i dont want to socialize with him" hahahaha. but i wonder, would being curious or empathetic towards the guy maybe help him chill out? i wanna know if anyone else has a personified relationship with their ocd too, and how you treat this personification. :) much love ☺️🌈✨🌷

my boyfriend is perfect. i cant believe how happy i am. but my ocd has this image of his ex gf and doesn’t drop it. Even tho she went insane at the end, they dated for 4+years. it just makes me feel like our experiences even cute aren’t original. i just want to let myself be happy but her face and etc is stuck inside my brain. i even stopped stalking but it didn’t really help. help.

I’m in a really good heathy relationship and have a completely supportive partner but I still always go out of my way to try and find stuff from his past to upset myself. Mind you my partner doesn’t even have much of a past but anything that has to do with another female will drive me absolutely up the wall. I try to find his ex’s and see their social media accounts and try to upset myself. Meanwhile these girls have no idea I even exist and don’t even care about my boyfriend. We’ve been together for 5 years and I’m about to be engaged and I’m STILL doing this to myself. Why?

i have severe existential ocd and get plagued with existential thoughts especially when i’m stressed. I have exams this week for finals and all i can think about is the existential thoughts and it’s causing me immense distress. i’m crying 24/7 and having multiple panic attacks a day. i don’t know what to do? does anyone have any advice?( please be gentle)