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I’m hungry but don’t want to eat

Whenever I laugh or try and live in the moment my mind flashes back to the past or things bothering me and reminds me that I shouldn’t be happy because of x y z. It’s really so depressing. I am 26 and I feel triple my age from stress. Even though I want to relax I dread going home at the end of the day because I’m afraid of what else I’ll remember or what new obsession I’ll have. I keep comparing myself to others saying no one would do what I have done everyone is better than me.

This isn’t really OCD related, it’s just giving me some anxiety. It’s not that big a deal and there’s definitely bigger problems out there, but any advice would be appreciated (only if you’ve got time of course!). I’ve been looking at a lot of universities recently. It kind of inspires me to look at the top top top ones and aim to go there. But then I begin to wonder why... I would consider myself intelligent (I feel vain saying that!), but I know I’m being wayyyy too ambitious looking at the Ivy League and Oxbridge. And yet, something in me really really wants to knuckle down and do really well so that I can go to an amazing university. I feel motivated. I live in London. I like the idea of change though, so studying in America sounds appealing. Meeting new people, living somewhere knew, all of that. But then as I was thinking about it all, I suddenly wondered about the boys there. I thought ‘hmm it’d be cool to date an American boy! Plus he might like my accent’. And now I feel 1) narcissistic and 2) absolutely stupid. It just defeats the point. I’m being so naive and dumb. The second thing is, I then began to wonder if I only want to go to a top university to show off about it. And if I’m only going somewhere for the name, and not the actual quality of education, I don’t deserve to go there at all. I don’t like the fact that at times I wish to show off. I always chose to ACT very humble, but within me, I sometimes feel this sense of superiority. Which (of course) I hate. Because at the end of the day, the people that go to top universities DESERVE to. They go because they want to extend their learning. They’re worthy of it. But if I’m just going for stupid childish reasons, what’s the point? I’m clearly not smart enough if I’m thinking in that sense. Boys... showing off... it’s so stupid.

help :((. this is another thing i keep thinking about because of my hocd. so i’ve known a few people who were pretty obviously gay, but considered themselves straight for a long time. and then suddenly they woke up one day and were gay. so they were probably in denial for that long time. so now i wonder if i’ve been obviously gay my whole life and this is just me in denial. i’ve never liked girls or looked at them the same way as i do guys but now i can’t stop wondering so now whenever i see a pretty girl my brain says “omg are you attracted to her? do you like her?” and i don’t think i am cause it’s not the same as i am with guys but i’ve also lost attraction to guys bc of my hocd so this is all really freaking me out. idk what to do anymore.

does anyone know anything about dbt and if it can be useful for ocd? my counsellor referred me to a dbt skills group at my uni cuz i have trouble maintaining relationships and am overly emotional and i started it but dont know if it’s right for me/worried it may make me worse. im having trouble finding an affordable ocd specialist in my area that can do erp

I'm starting to believe that I might be attracted to my sister in laws son. I'm afraid that my fiance will leave me still. I don't like children. They don't turn me on. This is post three that I've made on this app. I've breaking down for three days now in fear that I will lose my fiance because of these thoughts. I don't know what to believe in anymore. He's my everything and I would never touch that boy. Or even want to have intercourse with him. But my Brian keeps telling me that I do. I'm scared

My dad said I should never have been born yesterday. He also wanted to kill himself because of my OCD. I feel heartbroken.

Real event ocd is one type I have. I’m in full relapse now after a traumatic break up, moving back home, and rebuilding my life with no friends around me. I’m thinking of all kinds of past things as far as 8 years ago haunting me. I think how could I have moved on from this event and lived normally not worrying that it will come back to haunt me? Does anyone go through periods where they have no ocd symptoms and then some stressful things happen and your ocd just relapses? I’m trying to figure out why things from years ago are randomly making me obsess. If it’s not one thing it’s another.

I have comorbid bipolar disorder and OCD. I can’t take SSRIs or SNRIs because they destabilize my bipolar disorder and act against the meds I’m taking for that. Does anyone have experience with non-serotonin-based medication for OCD that has worked for you?

I don’t want reassurance but need helping changing my thought patterns.i texted my buddy last night to get together to do something today and I haven’t heard from him all day today. My mind is running into various reasons as to why he didn’t text and they are all negative reasons. I automatically assume he doesn’t want to be burdened with hanging out with me or he found something better to do. I stress myself out wondering if I’m supposed to text him and ask again. Wtf

My parents threaten to kick me out all the time because of my severe OCD. Each time they do I come back worse with new compulsions. They say I'm crazy for my OCD thoughts which is like, duh, does not make them feel any less real. Sigh. So tired of this life. My dad said he wished I was never born (just now), that I'm killing them physically with my panic attacks (I can't help it) and he said I'm the reason they smoke. I feel guilty and just want to die at this point. He also said he'd hit me if I'd not stop crying. They almost seem to think I like doing my washing compulsions and I can't stand it anymore. I feel alone in the world, even when so many of you struggle too, the fact that my once loving family is falling apart and that I feel so lonely in their company... it is tearing me down. OCD on its own is enough. This is too much.

I find myself aroused by athletic guys and skinny “twinkish” guys. It’s very specific. Wonder if could be due to wanting to be athletic and/or skinny growing up as I saw them being the “hot” ones who got girls.

Guys I need help!! Two days ago my hand bled from cracked skin from hand washing too much. I got on a train with my fresh bleeding hand and as I sat down, my hand with the fresh small bleeding cut on banged against the plastic head rest. I didn’t notice before If there was any blood on the plastic, but when I looked up there was what looked like fresh blood on the area I think I knocked my hand on. Since then I’ve had this overwhelming fear that it might have been someone else’s blood, and now I’m riddled with hiv etc. I phoned the hiv helpline and sexual health helpline numerous times and they got frustrated with me and said it’s not transmitted like that. I’m terrified I’ll ruin my partner’s life

Yo can I vent for a second? People on tumblr piss me off so much. And by that I mean the fucking people who go “oh I had an intrusive thought about eating a leaf lol!!!!! My icky poopoo brain said to draw a peepee on my forehead xd”. Like. That’s. Not an intrusive thought but ok skinny legend. Like that’s so fucking funny right? It’s so funny to read that shit when you have literal obsessions over calling people slurs you can’t reclaim or wanting to hit people you know and love. It’s so funny when your intrusive thoughts make you think you’re unworthy of love. It’s so hilarious, right? Because intrusive are so fucking quirky and cool right? Yes, wow. It’s so funny that ppl will panic to hell and back because they’re scared they’re pedophiles, or that their sexual orientation has been a lie. Or that they hate their partners. Yes, so quirky./s

Anyone got contamination ocd recovery stories? I heard this is the hardest form of OCD to overcome from my doctors and I feel honestly discouraged.

I don't know I stopped feeling numb now to the thoughts and I feel like I'm starting to enjoy them , I don't know who I truly am anymore

I’m o.o Okay. So if y’all have followed my posts, you might know I have this weird form of harm ocd consisting of slurs of any kind. So, I was asleep right. And reminder: I’m on prozac and from what I’ve seen vivid dreams are a side effect I think. So, I’m asleep. But then I remember thinking those thoughts almost intentionally but when I tried to stop them they came out at rapid fire. I woke up from that sleep cycle and figured that that was probably because my intrusive thoughts repeating while I’m sleeping was common for me. Except, this happened again right before waking up. And I was frightened, not by the slur itself, but by this fear that I intentionally thought that. After some rumination I’m almost sure that this was both dreams but I seriously don’t know, and if it turns out it was actually Me thinking that I’m gonna feel fucking terrible. Tl;dr idk if I intentionally thought an intrusive thought and at this point I’m too afraid to ask

Dose anyone else experience POCD? If so what steps did you take to recover before seeking therapy? And will you lose loved ones once you've told them?

It’s been a few months since I’ve been on here and I’m happy to say it’s because I am pretty much pure o, ocd free! This app really did help so much! I want to share the things that helped me get a grip on ocd. I don’t want to use the words “recover or control” because ocd is a part of our brains but it doesn’t mean it has to be a distressing part. I had my first ocd flare up in Nov and it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was crying and panicking almost every night for weeks, looking back I can’t believe I made it through the things I needed to do in life because I was a mess. But now I look at things like atleast I know what it is and how to deal with it when it comes. So here are my tips. 1. Reading about intrusive thoughts and pure o online and in books. I consumed as much knowledge about ocd as I could. 2. Starting erp therapy on my own and with a therapist. Though I do have a therapist to guide me 100% of erp is the work I put in. I would try all the recommendations of erp from accepting the thought, to making myself have the thoughts as practice, resisting compulsions, changing the way I reacted and thought about an intrusive thought, now this isn’t easy... but I did it all the time even when I felt the panic feeling and even when the ocd was strong, even when I didn’t believe it. I faked it until I made it 3. Practice is helpful, it took days of hard work especially in the first few months but that’s what I did, I considered every day, every intrusive thought as practice 4. Once I stopped the compulsions, (luckily mine weren’t very strong and I cut them off quick) I began thinking the thoughts that bothered me, and slowly added more disturbing content into my life (my ocd was harm ocd mainly) 5. I told myself that “yes that bad thought is real” and didn’t try to comfort my intrusive thought or push it away, if ocd said I was crazy and going to be locked in a facility then I agreed, I would say it in my head and sometimes out loud “yup your right ocd I’m crazy” 6. After acceptance and exposure I began working on being kinder to myself, I didn’t think that this step was crucial but it is.... ocd wants us to suffer and in a way it’s like by giving it power I wanted to suffer too, I told myself that ocd is a liar and I don’t want to suffer, it’s ok that I have ocd I accept it but now I must be gentle with myself 7. Learning to always default to these things when an intrusive thought happens, so much so that my brain does it naturally now ...a) hi ocd that’s cool but I’d rather not think about that and I continue doing what I’m doing, this is hard in the beginning but gets easier b) sure ocd I am definitely crazy but again I think I’d rather keep watching this show c) I am okay with the possibility of that happening but now is not the time for me to figure that out d) you are a liar and separate from me but thanks for the interesting thought ...8. Remembering these things: ocd is a liar, a thought isn’t sumthing u control but what u do with it is, if you don’t want to do something you won’t because of your morals and free will, this concept took me awhile to grasp but repetition is key. Almost everyone get intrusive thoughts so you aren’t unique or alone. I’ve learned through the ups and downs of erp how to combat my intrusive thoughts, how to be kinder to myself and how to change the way I think in order to live a better life. I still get an intrusive thought occasionally when I’m sticky but the way I think about the thought is so automatic now and so relaxed because of the work I’ve put in! If you are working towards erp don’t stop, keep going! I feel you, I know it’s hard and exhausting... 11 months ago I thought I was going crazy I was in the worst place of my life flash to today and it’s like I never even had ocd! You can do this I promise xx

I have liked boys all my life but I am fully convinced that I have a crush on a girl I work with. I think of being with her and involving sexual acts and it doesnt bother me and sometimes I like it. I then want to cry because it scares me so much. Sometimes it makes me happy and I dont even recognize myself anymore.