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Does anyone else fear they may die in there sleep?

When I was 13 (4years ago) I went through a period of time in lockdown where I was obsessed where I was obsessed with the idea that my parents would get COVID and I was sure they would get it and die even though they're young/not at risk. I had: prayers repeating in the back of my mind 24/7 Everytime I went downstairs I'd say a prayer, everytime I reached the top id put my phone in a risky position to show id sacrifice materialistic pleasures and say a prayer, I prayed in multiples of 5 (4people in my family plus God,) I assigned all of my family a teddy bear and said a prayer whilst hugging each one, I kept praying by shutting my eyes every second, when I was about to go to school id have to quickly take my shoes off and pray which meant od be late but I couldn't not do it and ignore the prayer for my parents to not get COVID Then I became obsessed with the idea that I could be gay- my brain told me this 100X over and I couldn't concentrate on work Then I thought I'd definitely have cancer and I thought every little thing wrong with me was a big scary illness- my screen time on google was 10+ hours a day during the second lockdown HERE is where I don't know if I have OCD. All these went away but I still pray all the time and if j see a picture of god I can't ignore it I have to pray. I'm so obsessed with the idea that my dad could get cancer now and I keep praying that he won't. Materialistic pleasures (e.g smell, taste, sight) are ignorance in my religion so I keep thinking if I give them up my dad won't get cancer. Everytime Im about to do something like a play a song my brain thinks 'give that up' or sacrifice it and I have to or else I think my dad will get cancer. It got so bad I couldn't eat or sleep or even study Now I can do things like listen to music if I 'promise to God to do it' (not on my Dad's life) The thing is I don't know if these knew symptoms look like OCD. They just look weird and I'm scared I don't actually have OCD because j can't get diagnosed until next year ( I don't want to tell my parents) and I was just wondering if anyone could help me figure it out :)

Hi guys! I’m Kells I’m 25 and I was diagnosed ocd when I was around 16. Ever since I can remember I’ve been terrified of losing loved ones. It was about my parents passing away when I was young and now I’m worried constantly that my fiancé will pass when I’m not with him. It’s magical thinking like I have control. But I know I don’t and that’s terrifying. I know logically it’s not likely, but ocd works with fear. And I’m terrified of losing him. I even had a dream when we first started dating saying he would die young and I’m petrified that was a “sign”. The other aspect of my ocd has been religious and afterlife fears. I’m scared of dying and what it’ll feel like. I’m scared that if I don’t believe in a religion like Christianity and it becomes true I will burn in hell. I’m just scared.

I feel like I dont see a whole lot about this specific type of ocd so I just wanted to see if anyone else out there has this same issue! I constantly fear that I am pregnant even if there is absolutely 0% chance that I could be. Im a very safe and cautious person and still I have taken more pregnancy tests than any person I know. I will stare at a clearly negative pregnancy test for like 15 minutes trying to see if i somehow missed the second line on the test. I will even send pictures of the test to other people to make sure they only see one line too. this truly causes me so much distress. ocd sucks.

Hello all, I’ve started ERP about a month ago and I kind of feel like my subtype doesn’t work well for it plus I’m on an antidepressant and it blocks a lot of my anxiety and when the person asked on a scale of 0-100 how much that certain things makes me anxious, I don’t know because I’m not anxious. Anyone else felt like that with doing ERP? Maybe when I’m not taking meds it will be easier better because the med helps my intrusive thoughts as well and anxiety so that’s part of the work I’m not doing?

I feel like there’s two versions of me. I feel like there’s an evil version where my OCD wants me to do urges and be bad and prove I am this person and it is so convincing and it feels like me. Then another version of me where I’m like “duh that’s not me”. But I’m terrified the bad version will win. It feels like “I want” to think of these thoughts. I had a moment today where I was like “yeah I would be this person if it wasn’t illegal” and believed it. Then came out of it and was like “no that’s not true”. I also found myself feeling like I wanted to think of a bad sexual thought during sex.

Question for ya’ll… so when you have Sexual OCD & ROCD do you think these thoughts are related to that?? I have this thing where if I somehow don’t try my absolute hardest to (very consistently) concentrate on imagining my partner and I perfectly during intimacy, so then I don’t feel like I’ve gotten off over someone else which I wouldn’t do, but ocd can be very convincing. An also I have accepted in a way that you can’t picture everything perfectly in your head our minds eye/camera is not perfect, there will always be details that are slightly off etc, I never used to worry about these things before ocd. But because I get lots of intrusive images and thoughts that seem to pop up almost all the time it makes it hard because I’m laying there just feeling so sad because all I want to do is picture my boyfriend, I know all I want to do is think about him or him and I, so That’s what is turning me on, but what if I don’t picture him perfectly is that me pictureing someone else then?? What if I think or feel lieonthe image I’m trying to create is of me and my partner but it was actually subconsciously a body part I’ve seen in porn or something in the past, I’m sure this isn’t even possible as my intention is to picture my partner and I? So even if the image is a bit off isn’t the fact it’s the intention to think or picture us so that means it is us in the images? I know this is reassurance idc I don’t come on here all the time anymore I just need some today.

I’m finding it really hard to comfort my long distance boyfriend he’s really low but I’m also feeling so low and I feel really guilty because he says I’m not there for him I’m trying to comfort him I’m getting so angry at myself because I just am finding it so hard to be there for someone when I’m getting sh thoughts Feel guilty and he thinks I’m making it about me Idk what to do I have no one to talk to because I can’t talk to him about it as he’s going through stuff

Does anyone else struggle with sitting in public seats. I always have to check if the seat is clean or sometimes I wipe it before I sit. At home I have designating “clean” chairs. If there’s a stain on the chair I freak out and assume it’s bodily fluids.

Does anyone else have some “fun” ways they’ve noticed their main reoccurring thought/fear with SO OCD or OCD in general change as you’ve worked on accepting your thoughts? When I really fell down the rabbit hole of SO OCD at the start it centered around, the possibility, that I repressed my sexuality due to a past experience I may have blocked out as a child. As I got started with ERP my main fear of repression then went to that of being in denial. Eventually that moved to a main fear of being a late bloomer with OCD then to a centered fear of not having OCD at all However if the passing thought that caught me after my therapy session today was anything to go by, it may me switching now to using my comfortability of seeing gay scenes and attacking me for not acting on my thoughts if I’m so comfortable with them. Like I’m not truly comfortable with it unless I go out and act on my same sex thoughts It’s funny to see OCD switch tactics/reasons as I grow more and more comfortable with my thoughts, but also frustrating because it still got me distressed for a moment with that new thought after my session today and wishing that that thought doesn’t stick.

A bit hopeless. I feel like my efforts to overcome ocd are mostly in vain.

So I recently got a bf and we were hanging out. And then I had to leave and I think he wanted to kiss) make out and I was like well I have to dip, so I think he said maybe like "it'll be quick/like a quick kiss." or something like that and then I was like "dang I have to get back" (I acc did) and he was like "just one kiss? " and I pecked him on the lip. My ocd is like oh that's sexual assault or coercion. I didn't mind kissing him and didn't feel harassed or anything. I don't remember the encounter very well and feel like my ocd is distorting my memory . he mightve just asked once after I said I was late instead of twice. I can't really remember. My ocd is like oh this is sexual coercion and assault. I don't feel that way at all. I didn't feel forced to kiss him whatsoever. I've been coerced before and he's nothing like that. Idk how to tackle this.

Does anyone else struggle with sexual orientation OCD? I am a male who identifies as straight but for awhile Thought that I was bi sexual cuz I thought I was experiencing same sex attraction, but now that I’ve become aware that sexual orientation OCD is a thing and has a name, I can see that that is what I was struggling with. Yet, I’ve still had people say to me that I am gay and this n that, and I don’t know why. Maybe it’s cuz I am not as masculine as other men? Maybe cuz I have a higher voice? Maybe cuz i don’t have that strong alpha male posture? I overthink this. Just cuz someone told me that they think i am gay, doesn’t mean I am. This is where my Sexual orientation OCD kicks in, & I start thinking oh my gosh well if this person n that person n that person thinks im gay, then maybe i am! But the thing is is IM NOT! I am attracted to women and I wanna be married and have kids, & I can see how I have been obsessing about my orientation because of what others have said about me. Anyone else dealt with this?

Hi everyone, I recently went on vacation and had dinner at the hotel's buffet. I selected some seafood and placed it on my plate. After that, I used another spoon to add some fruits to my plate, I think the spoon accidentally touched the seafood on my plate. I'm now overwhelmed with anxiety over the possibility that someone allergic to seafood might use that same spoon for fruits and have a reaction. How do you handle these intrusive thoughts? Thank you.

I wish there was a meet up local to me where I could make friends with people who know/ experienced ocd that I could be friends with? Not for reassurance but just so I can message like ‘you ever think about what faeries do when it’s raining’. I also have adhd so I have intrusive and random impulsive thoughts 😂

The other day I was in the kitchen and the children I work with were in a rush and I was trying to push them out of the kitchen. When that happened, I was nudging them out with my hands and legs. When I was nudging a child forward, I noticed a sensation in my leg near my crotch area that I was pushing, but it wasn’t gratification and it wasn’t sexual. But I feel awful because I recognized the sensation but didn’t move my body. I continued to push forward. Now I feel like I’ve committed a heinous crime. When it happened it was very subconscious and unaware. I was not imploring myself to do anything else or really anything at all. It was just that weird feeling in my leg but I still feel awful that for 2 seconds I continued to push them forward. It’s driving me insane that I feel like I tried to continue to push forward. Now that I’m writing this, I can recognize that I was not trying to be weird or anything and I think my mind is tricking me. But it still SUCKS!!!!!!! I hate having OCD!!!!! I know I didn’t do anything and I’m a good person. But I don’t know how to be comfortable with this one.

i hate the way my eyebrows look and i can’t get them to look right. on the tops of both i keep slightly trimming it because i keep seeing one looking higher than the other and i’m trying to get certain pieces of my eyebrows to be the same height. one looks much more shabbier than the other. I have nobody with me right now. I started a little more than an hour ago and i’m scared it’s going to go on all night. This is so stressful and i’m scared i’m going to ruin something in my eyebrows. Everytime i see my eyebrows I feel they’re uneven and ones thicker than the other. for the past few days i’ve been avoiding even looking at them and i even put a headband over my eyebrows while brushing my teeth. The urge was getting to me because i kept feeling them with my hands without looking at them and i felt something to be wrong. additionally i saw them accidentally a few times and i didn’t like how it looked. eventually i gave in and fully saw them bc i couldn’t stand the feeling of walking around with uneven eyebrows. i need help correcting them, i’ve asked family and nobody can help rn. I’m still standing in front of the mirror trying to make them perfect but i’m scared to ruin something. pls help what can i do to make myself feel it’s correct

Does anyone else’s have like at least one false memory every day? And do anyone else ruminates about something that just happened because at the time the event happened you had an intrusive image and you don’t really know what happened at the moment ? I’m not diagnosed and I’m working really hard but this is super scary and I worry I’m just in denial or being a really bad person

I’m struggling to understand how ERP will work for me, I’m new to this. I’m 2 weeks into therapy and this session we start my first ERP steps and I feel like I can’t seem to grasp the concept because often times I understand my obsessions are illogical but then again I think I ruminate often with it so in a way it’s also self reassurance. For example, my one goal is for POCD and to sit with the discomfort of maybe seeing a kid on social media and immediately panicking over what people may think if I like the video or if I shouldn’t find the kid cute, etc. Well, I feel like sometimes (which I’m not in a super bad depressive state) I sort of stop myself and remind myself things logically to sort of push that stress away… I can’t tell if maybe this is just another compulsion. Writing it down sort of makes me feel like maybe it’s leaning toward compulsion and I just thought it was logic… whoops? Ah idk.

I’ve been with my partner since I was 20. I had one relationship prior to him and little dating experience because I was religious/ covid happened. I’m having extreme OCD that I haven’t dated enough people to see who is truly out there for me/ everyone else has more experience than I do. On top of this, I believe I am bisexual and have never been with a girl (but I have sexual orientation OCD as well so who knows.) What is the best way to go about this that aligns with ERP? Would breaking up my perfectly healthy relationship be giving into my compulsions just to go date others?