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I'm sure that after 25 years of OCD I have developed schizophrenia. What do I do?

My ROCD has been super prevalent lately. This is kind of hard to explain, but a recent thought I can’t seem to shake is the fact that I could be just latching onto the fact that I have ROCD/“making it up” to avoid “the inevitable” or “my real feelings” meaning a breakup/ that I don’t love my partner. So like intrusive thoughts about the OCD itself if that makes sense? Kind of meta LOL - Has anyone else experienced this?

I’ve been wondering a lot these past two months have been really bad. I’ve had just about every theme of OCD from harm, sexual, existencial you name it. The only theme I haven’t had is germ OCD, I think it’s because I’m a nurse and I literary live around germs. This time around I’ve been obsessing with sleep and not being able to sleep, which has caused me to have depression. And now I’m like obsessed over my depression to the point where I’m literary questioning my own sanity, and my own experiences almost as if I’m over analyzing every experience and feel depressed over it evened good experiences feel like ass cus I just start doubting them. Has anyone experience this before? I got started on sirtraline and now I am obsessing over the fact that I need a pill to get better which I hate cus I’ve been able to beat my OCD unmedicated. Am I beyond help at this point ? I feel like I am a completely different person I don’t even remember what I used to be like.

I can’t believe I’m writing this, I feel I’m starting to get attracted to children, I don’t believe I’m writing this, what shall I do

hi everyone! i struggle really badly with pocd. today ive been trying to not avoid places where i know there will be children and watch harmless videos that have come on my feed on social media instead of scrolling straight past them and it has helped a bit. but i keep getting awful thoughts of like thinking i like these thoughts and i do actually want these thoughts and that i really am a p*dophile and i feel like it’s setting me back but i know i have to face that and just carry on. i also keep having doubts of whether this really is ocd and i really am an awful person. i hate it so so much and i keep having panic attacks which make me overwhelmed and i just see no way out. is this normal? if anyone could share their experiences or just some advice it would be very much appreciated!

Waking up in a panick everyday thinking if this is real life or not, the thoughts never stop, I just want to get better, I had a panick attack yesterday thinking this wasn’t real life, I coped with alcohol for the past 4 years, now when I wake up it’s straight to this isn’t real life and you should just hurt yourself, am I going crazy ?

I’m wondering if anyone can relate? I often overanalyse my feelings/emotions and check that I’m feeling happy enough. If I’m not, it makes me super anxious that I’m not enjoying life enough. In the past, Ive been known to keep diaries when on holiday to keep track of my feelings so I can check back afterwards to make sure I did actually have a good time. In my brain, everyone effortlessly seems to enjoy life, social gatherings, big events, holidays…enjoyment seems to come to easy to other people? Whereas I, whilst I do enjoy myself at times, find myself obsessing over enjoying stuff enough or being happy enough. Like if I’m not euphorically happy or crying from laughter every 2 minutes, I’m clearly not living life. I’m not sure if it’s an OCD trait or…? It certainly feels it, what with all the checking and monitoring of feelings. It’s definitely heightened around big events (parties, social gatherings, weddings, holidays). It’s a theme I come back to quite a lot and I find it quite distressing. Most of my themes are very internal and a lot of compulsions are mental, I spend a LOT of time ruminating if I’m having a bad day. Hope someone else can relate or maybe has some tips? :)

can those who struggle with health concern ocd tell me about their stories with it? i dont want to feel alone

This is something very difficult for me so I suppose I'm just looking for a bit of support. A bit of context before I get into my current situation: I'm not sure what facet of ocd this is, but one of the many things I struggle with would be worrying about intruders in my home, specifically mystical ones that would be disturbing in appearance. For a long time this made me afraid of my room, under my bed, the hallway, etc around the nighttime. I've done exposures around this with my therapist and it has gotten better. It's been a few months without incident until now. I just got triggered by a video on tiktok which sounds silly to say. I am also autistic and there has been a change in my routine (parents aren't home) so I think this has made me feel more vulnerable. I feel very afraid and unsafe and it's late at night, I'm trying to force myself to watch the video to prove it's not going to hurt me but I can't bring myself to look at it. I just feel like all of my progress has gone down the drain and I'm feeling very low. Wondering if anyone can relate or has any advice, sorry for the drawn out post here.

Which type of therapy is recommended for pure o, pocd, socd and moral ocd? I have tried cognitive behavioral therapy but it didn’t work.

Hi! (first post lol) wondering if there is anyone else here that also deals with medical/ health concern type of OCD with also having chronic and sometimes scary health issues? if so, any advice on how you might help yourself through a OCD flare up and fears over symptoms and unknowns? (But mostly it would be great just to know that I’m not alone in this <3)

this is non ocd related but I really need to vent. I talked with this guy for a month and some days, every day, shared a lot of deep convos, i ended up catching feelings even tho I said that I wasn't going to because he's from another country, last sunday, he told me he still loves his ex, and that's okay, but ofc I had hopes and I was heartbroken, I tried to comfort him best as I could, but next day I decided I needed to move on ofc, and told him I catched feelings so it's better if we just talked from time to time, because I really felt like shit, I really liked him and idealized this wonderful story with him. I think he's a great person, and I never actually felt like this for no one, that was nice to know, that I could feel love so deeply, I really wanted it to be him yk, or at least the idea I had of him. I tried not taking it personal, because he's a human too, he makes mistakes, so when he was dry, when he treated me one day like I was his dream girl and next day like he could care less about me, when he hid the fact he was actually waiting for someone else, I didn't take it personal. Yesterday, he asked me what did he do wrong, why did I decide to stop talking to him, I decided to be completely honest and told him how it makes me feel, how I wish I could take my feelings off the table to be his friend (because he really doesn't have friends, he's alone, that's why I don't wanna hurt him), he didn't reply to my text explaining, I thought, that's okay, this is the end, at least I told everything I had to say. but today, he sent me a video about finding his ex on tinder, completely ignoring my text explaining how I feel of yesterday, and when I told him, what do you expect me to say?, he said "idk, I don't have anyone else to share stuff with", all I said was, you're being selfish so I'm gonna be selfish too, rn I'm not available for you, and blocked him, I know I took the right choice, but I feel so bad, I feel like he used me, like he never cared about me, and that sucks, because I really thought we connected, was it just me? he never really felt anything? I'm so sad, I feel humiliated and disappointed, because everytime I did something I thought about how he was going to feel, and he doesn't care at all about making me feel bad

I struggle to think of ERP messages to anchor myself to when trying to avoid mental compulsions. Anyone have any to recommend, especially in regards to ROCD fears and moral scrupulously?

How do I deal with bed rotting? I have been bed rotting for so long due to severe depression to the point where my back hurts and it’s hurts to walk from lack of movement. Pls help

A girl on tik tok basically confirmed my biggest OCD fear of being gay. Her video said “if you feel a certain way about {masculine female athlete}, you’re not straight. This is your sexual awakening.” Iv ALWAYS been triggered by this female athlete because she is an open lesbian and very masculine and I get intrusive thoughts and feelings that i absolutely HATE. Im so triggered right now because now OCD is saying this is more than intrusive thoughts/feelings and is actually sexual attraction. I absolutely hate the thought of me being gay.

What was your most absurd obsession? I’ll start. I once convinced myself I didn’t have blood. Yes I am fully aware that you need blood to live, but I just didn’t believe I had any and I was resisting the urge to try and find out.😂

I need help, please. I cannot stop ruminating and I'm still not getting medicated, and that's the onlu way out I can see right now. I cry everyday out of distress, I feel sick, and I force myself to get arcades so I really feel that I'm not attracted towards women. It’s torturing me, I cannot take this anymore. It makes me think that the slightest thing I notice on a woman means that I'm attracted towards her. And it also makes me obsess over certain people which I found something interesting in, and tries to make me believe that I like them, it's disgusting, sickening, draining. By the way, I have a boyfriend, and I love him, so this makes everything worse. This all goes against all my values, morals, everything. It makes me look for things that happened in the past and alters them, and makes fake scenarios and tries to make me feel as if I'm actually attracted and it makes me suffer a lot. It takes almost my whole day, and it starts over and over again every time I wake up. I'm going insane, please, I just need to get rid of this. I cannot find any reasons to slay alive other than my boyfriend, I could never break his heart, so this is really making me feel like a really bad girlfriend and a failure.

Do you A. Just let yourself keep yawning and learn to not care B. Try to stop or suppress the yawning Trigger warning only because I don’t want all the Somatics to start yawning

I realised I did a bad thing when I was a kid ... I hurt one of my friend.. I didnt realised then what I did. I am ruminating constantly about it ... I cant get over it and I feel like I dont deserve to get over it. I keep ruminating and ask myself questions ... What should I do?

I'm scared I've become my thoughts or I think I'm scared, why does it feel like I genuinely want or like these thoughts. Anytime I remind myself it's OCD or that I don't like it, it feels like I'm lying to myself and that I've liked these thoughts. Please someone give me advice, I'd appreciate it