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Guys i feel like struggling with this on and off for 6 years makes me actually believe that this is not OCD and im just going through sexuality crisis or discovery phase😔

Today we had a win. I’ve been struggling with false memory OCD for about 2 months now. One of my compulsions involved compulsively praying. I have a really complicated relationship with religion and god. Like, REALLY complicated. And on top of that I always worry that I’m not praying right or I’m not being thankful enough or that I’m not deserving enough to be religious or that I’m a bad person, the list goes on. So today, I had the urge to compulsively pray. But rather than give in, I asked my husband if he would do something really out of our comfort zone. An “anti-prayer” if you will. Where we just pray WRONG. He was skeptical at first. And I was too. But we told god now mad at the world we were. How we were mad that the OCD was something we have to deal with. How our loved ones have been taken away. How we are worried about the state of our country. How we hate everything that’s going on in the world right now. And how it’s really hard to see the positives when we’re so mad at god. How we don’t understand why he’s putting us through all these trials. How it’s frustrating us to not know what the future holds. How my husband hates that I’m suffering with OCD. At the end of it, we told god that our anger MAY be misdirected, but that we figured it’s best to just be honest with how we’re feeling rather than sugar coating it and being thankful when we are just plain-ole MAD. After we finished, my husband said that he never really just SAT with his anger like that before. And how he’s always so worried about who he was and who he wants to be that he’s never really focused on who he IS in the present moment. And that taught me a lot about mindfulness. I may not have it all figured out. I may make mistakes. I may want to be better. But who I am right now is someone who is growing and learning to love herself. Take it easy on yourself, be honest with how you’re feeling. And remember that it’s okay to feel mad, upset, etc.

Does anyone else feel like OCD has completely taken their life away? I used to be so full of joy, so hopeful for the future. Sure, I had some anxieties and intrusive thoughts here and there but ever since my triggering event a few months ago I have completely spiraled. I honestly don't even know who I am anymore, all I can think about is my thoughts and my brain tells me to be afraid of everything i do. Daily activities that I used to not give a second thought about have now become a struggle. I feel like I can't even go to the store or work because of the constant fight against my thoughts. I miss the person I used to be and I feel every second of my life being wasted because of this debilitating disorder. I feel so stuck, I can't even live life anymore. The depression and anxiety makes me feel like I can barely get through the day. I can't stop thinking how I was a normal person just earlier this year. If anyone is going through this or has advice please comment🤍

Well I haven’t been diagnosed with ocd, but I have had themes in the past (health, and sexuality, as well as magical thinking) and to be honest if you were to ask me in april-may I would’ve told you that im super confident this is ocd. Now, I just don’t know, I know I shouldn’t be asking here and telling strangers to diagnose me and that I should go see a psychiatrist instead and I will soon enough. These Violent Thoughts have not gone away, only my emotions have. Thankfully I think I can classify the thoughts as intrusive (altough I think I involuntarily bring them up) and not ideation, but this again comes to me feeling numb, I think this is depression, but I just feel like I just don’t care anymore about anything. Just typing that I feel like I don’t care but also makes my stomach feel a little wierd. Recently I feel so off, Brain fog, and constant headaches on the back and top of my head, I don’t know if this is psychosis, dissociation, or a brain tumor. I don’t drink nor do I smoke and I’m glad I don’t but it makes me wonder what is the root of these mental problems I’m currently having. But it’s also bad because when people try to give me supportive words and advice, I cant feel anything when they do. I know that I’m not myself in the moment, and that I desperately need help. I’m sorry for those who have suicidal thoughts or ocd, but I wish my thoughts were more about myself rather then others (again sorry if you’re dealing with this and I hope you recover from these thoughts) and only two of my friends know what I’m going trough, and a few online strangers. I haven’t told my family because the fear of how they’ll view me on my thoughts. I just never thought that I would hit a mental health crisis when I’m about to be 18 going to college. I’m desperately trying to find a job so I could pay for a psychiatrist on my own. I think though I’ll ask my college to see if they have any there. I do want to get better and be normal like other people, but sometimes I wish I was just dead. Sorry for the long rant but this is the truth on how I’m feeling

struggling to feel anything w my bf like genuinely nothing struggling to tell if i even wanna text him or talk struggling to feel like i miss him even tho we've barely hung out and we have been more independent recently but i wanna feel like i miss him :( i want to feel like i need my person and that comfort i had with him but now i dont feel any affectionate feelings i feel blocked completely. please can someone tell me if this is normal is it even ocd can someone tell me if they ever got over this and regenerate those feelings. i'm genuinrly going through it so so badly right now i want to feel stuff for my bf so badly and i can't feel ANYTHING like completely numb. but im concinced that means i don't love him anymore which hurts me too much. please help

Hi everyone i have harm ocd to my cat and tonight i had a intrusive thought about burning my cat to death with a aim a flame and after that i did erp with that so i sat with my cat with the aim a flame in hand and i was okay but my ice didn’t feel right so i had to do it again and then i started thinking i could accidentally start this and kill him and then my ocd started to get very real almost telling me to light it i got so freaked out i had to go outside can ocd make you do this

My OCD has latched onto my dissociation/derealization/whatever the fuck i’m feeling. And I’ve been doing non stop research for the past 3 days trying to understand what this is I’m feeling. I know its just stress, anxiety, and the effects of me repressing and shutting out my intrusive thoughts. But theres just a specific feeling, that i cant put my finger on, and its fucking keeping me down. I don’t know how to not feel like this. Ive tried almost everything. I just want to feel okay again.

Hey everyone. I have suicidal ocd. About 6 weeks ago I started on medication (citalopram) for my ocd. I had rough up and downs for the first week weeks, then about 2-3 great weeks, and now I don’t know what’s going on. I feel as if I’m thinking constantly but my anxiety response is gone. For suicidal ocd, it’s scary because I based the fact it was OCD off how much anxiety I’ve gotten. Now I’m really concerned with myself over all the thoughts. Any advice? Anyone have ups and downs with meds? Any kind words are appreciated

I wanted to push off writing this, but last night I wanted to escape by drinking when I literally couldn’t because I was in a random offskirt area in Osaka. I was feeling awful about me making out with that guy in Korea. And I catch myself doing behaviors relating to ocd. Getting reassurance from my partner without realizing it. Reassurance because he doesn’t know what I did. He trusts me and I fucking was playing. I had the urge to want to tell him. I feel like I can’t I’ve forward without telling him. But at the same time should I? I want to work with him and not fuck it up again. But I don’t want this secret to make me fall into old behaviors bc I really feel like I can’t spend the rest of my life with someone and just not tell them. I don’t get why I let my impulsiveness get the best of me. For awareness, I think it was the edge and the high from it, I didn’t think of the consequences, but now left with them. I think my ocd was obsessive that I find people attractive, and I like the attention I receive fr those I am attracted to. I find it reassuring to know that I can have the one I think is attractive. It builds my self esteem. In other ways, I must find other ways that build my self esteem. I love my partner I wish I never cheated in the first place. I was always scared that someone would do that to me, and I have projected that onto several people yet here I am doing exactly my fears. I just want to know how to live with rocd and have a healthier relationship with it

I tried talking to my mom and we did it on a phone call so it was even harder to get my point across but I don’t even know what my point was , the whole conversation was confusing and it seems like she thinks OCD can just be thought through and I was gonna share some of my thoughts with her but they’re so bad I don’t know what she’ll say or how she’ll treat me I feel like I literally have no one and that I deserve it and every night I’m crying cuz it hurts in my head to be in my head Like some of my thoughts are that I’m a p-file or that I’m gonna get graped if I don’t sleep on one side through out the night or maybe since I’m 16 I’m gonna drive into the highway when I get my license and it’s all very hard

Hello! I am fairly new to nocd and I was recently diagnosed with mild ocd. I’ve always subconsciously pulled my eyelashes out (not all but like 1-5 at a time) for as long as I can remember and thought it was a completely normal thing until pointed out. If this is something you also experience, what things can I do on top of therapy to hopefully nip this habit in the bud quicker because I love my lashes so much. Thank you :)

Does any one get intense OCD about harming their boyfriend/partner? Im struggling right now because when we were kissing he had a different look on his face and Im obsessing about whether I checked in with him or not and maybe shouldn't have immediately started kissing him again. We had an awesome moment after though and a really great day together but Im obsessing over whether I made him uncomfortable. Ive had multiple of these obsessions before, and wonder what people think is best to help me get through this as it ruins my life practically.

I’ve been dissociating because of OCD these past two days. It’s been very bad it’s almost like I just don’t feel like myself. Tonight’s it’s gotten really bad, I’m so scared of like losing control of myself or like blacking out and not having control over my actions. Does anyone know how to make me feel like myself again. My ocd has been so good, I’ve never been better I hadn’t been doing compulsions I was able to push away intrusive thoughts easily, however I got discharged from Camhs recently and now I’m realising I can’t go to them with this. Anyways I got home from holidays two days ago and since that really stressful day at the airport I’ve had nothing but rlly bad days full of dissociating, a lack of routine as I had no work and loneliness as my favourite people aren’t able to hang out. Tonight old obsessions I had when I was younger came back and I’m getting really scared and I just want to feel like myself again. I just feel loopy and anxious and not like myself at all. Anyone know how to stop this feeling?

so last night i was scrolling through tiktok and it was a teacher setting up her classroom and her young child was in the video and i didn’t think much of it and then got really anxious and was hyper aware of how i felt down there. i kept focusing on how i felt and my body started to create a turned on sensation which i experienced before. then right after my mind was like omg did you just orgasm and completely convinced myself i did. and then my mind was like it was better than the orgasms you had this weekend. (i was with my bf all weekend and have had difficulty with orgasms and intensity of them). either way i feel completely awful about this. i’m not even sure if it was an orgasm i experienced or not because i can’t even fully remember what i felt in the moment. can my brain convince me i had an orgasm. i really don’t even think it’s possible for me to without any stimulation. so now im just freaking out.

Hello all! This is my first post. I’m so thankful I’ve found this community. I was diagnosed with OCD in 1999. Back when I was first diagnosed, SSRI’s were just coming around and it was a leading treatment for OCD. I am SO THANKFUL for these meds, but for the most part, I’ve gone for almost 21 years unmonitored on Zoloft. Sometimes adjusting my own dose. I know this isn’t the correct way to do things. I have also never tried any other form of therapy along with it. I would love, at some point to get off of Zoloft to just see how I function. I e raised two children and been married 26 years on these meds and the side effects. Maybe in conjunction with other therapy, I could reduce the meds, who knows?Have any of you been on an SSRI for that many years?

So this is probably the dumbest thing I’m stressing over because I know the answer already. I have bad driving anxiety. Earlier today I was driving out of a parking lot. I got to the exit and stopped. Then someone beeped their horn. No clue if it was at me or if it was at someone else. Idek who beeped. I ignored it and drove home. When I got home however I had a thought like “what if they beeped to get my attention because I hit their car” which I know for a fact didn’t happen. I simply just drove up to the exit. I know for a fact I hit nothing but for some reason my anxiety isn’t leaving. Pls help

I’m terrified of the dentist but have to go because my tooth is broken off in a spot and I’ve been in pain for a week. I’m worried about bleeding to death or pain or freaking out cause I feel scared of something. My appointment is tomorrow morning.

I am having a panic attack and crying because my mind is telling me to actually do it and it’s like my body wants (urge) to do it but my mind doesn’t? What is this? What if a mind of a serial killer and I don’t want to accept it? Can it be possible? I want to just have a happy life not be in this dark hole that I am in. I feel like I always been a good person. I tell my self that before I do anything to anyone, I’ll check my self into a hospital or something. It’s getting really really bad.

I keep a digital journal, and this is one of my entries. Does anyone relate to this? I’d like to know your thoughts. 🩷 “A video on Instagram heavily triggered my OCD today, and honestly my instinct was to skip it which I did initially, but then I thought “You know what? No. I need do an exposure.” So, I went back, and I rewatched it, and I sat with the (horrible) feelings that came along with watching this video. It has been really hard for me to sit with anxiety, guilt, and uncertainty. My heart rate has been extra high today, which has been frustrating and annoying because I have POTS so my heart rate is already chronically high majority of the time, and it being high due to anxiety when I’m laying down and trying to relax too is just frustrating. I’m very tired today, but also very anxious, so I feel like I haven’t been able to unwind enough to sleep. I laid down for a few hours but probably only stayed asleep for one hour total. My OCD is also making me feel as though I not only deserve the physical symptoms of my mental disorder(s), but that I also deserve to suffer with chronic health issues too. I have realized this is how I subconsciously deal with my physical health issues, mentally. I tell myself it’s okay because I deserve to bear these physical burdens and I deserve this suffering. All in all, today has been rough. But I’m surviving.”

I’m religious and kind of practicing, unable to fully commit because an inspirational message shared by a prominent member of the religion turned into a trigger for me. Essentially, the central message of the address was that, when it comes to how we spend our time, we could be engaged in good things, even better of things, or the best things, and it’s up to us how we want to spend the time God gave us It’s caused me to develop the phrase “good, better, best” as a mantra and I feel constantly overwhelmed now. No matter what I’m doing, in the back of my mind I know there are better things I could spend my time on and it causes me to feel intrinsically guilty for simply trying to enjoy my leisure time It extends into long-term things as well. For example, last year I had to change jobs because my OCD was affecting my job performance. I went from a web developer to computer repair and it feels like I dropped from a “better” career to a “good” career. It feels like I’ll never be satisfied with myself in terms of my profession until I can get back to coding, which I don’t even know would be a good thing for me, mental health-wise I wake up most mornings already feeling like I’m failing to measure up to some impossibly high standard that no one even set for me, and it’s exhausting. I don’t know how get by when I feel like all my energy is spent stressing that I’m not the most productive person alive