Welcome to
the NOCD Community

If my OCD is trying to convince me I’m gay due to past compulsions. Every time I have that through I now repeat in my head that I’m straight several times to battle it. If I continue to do that am I just creating a compulsion??

Last year my dad got Covid and I went to the movies a day after. I did not even test to see if I had it. Not maliciously for some reason it just didn’t cross my mind to take one. I wore a mask at the movies and only went because I thought it was low risk. I got sick a few days after. I could be the reason people are dead. I’m the same as drunk drivers who harm others due to being mindless. I deserve to be in jail. I deserve to never be happy again. I deserve to lose everything. And anyone who disagrees is just being illogical. I’m the only one who sees this logically it seems because people tell me I deserve to forgive myself when I don’t.

I have severe emetophobia, and last night my partner threw up. They had taken too many edibles (completely legal in my state and we’re of legal age) and asked me to go downstairs so I wouldn’t have to hear. I was panicking, going through all the times I had touched/kissed them that day, trying to work out how contagious it might be, etc. I definitely fell into the reassurance seeking/googling trap for a minute, asking them if they were SURE they weren’t sick, that it was just the edibles, but eventually I managed to put away my phone, tell myself “If it does end up being contagious, I can worry about it when it’s actually happening,” and go to sleep. I certainly didn’t handle it perfectly, but for where my mental state has been, I’m glad I was able to calm myself down and go to sleep.

Hi everyone, I’m new here! I have struggled with OCD on and off for many years and all different flavors (SOOCD, POCD, Pure OCD). I am in a happy relationship of 2.5 years and feel supported and loved by my partner. We have been wanting to move in together and now that we are officially going forward with it, I’m suffering from extreme ROCD, at least I think it is. Out of nowhere I just feel absolute fear around moving in together, thinking that it’s going to ruin my life and our relationship. While he is normally someone who comforts me and I now find him to be a big trigger of mine, as every text and “I love you” now triggers thoughts that he might not be the one or that I am deceiving him. I’m finding it so difficult not to talk to him about it. What I think is my OCD keeps telling me I should not move in with him, break up, and move back home, even though I don’t want that. The hardest part of this is wondering if it’s OCD or my gut. I’m even terrified to post here because I’m worried someone will tell me I should break up with him. I feel so tired and depressed. I’m having trouble doing my job, enjoying things, and eating the past couple days. It’s really just popped up.

I have been with my partner for about a year and 4 months. My ocd symptoms started in February. Recently, my ocd is making me seem annoyed by everything my partner does… I have a bad problem with forming my opinion off of other random people instead of making my own, possibly fear of perception/upsetting people with an opinion so I have to follow like a sheep. This frustrates my partner. My ocd might latch onto a random dark humour joke he made or an opinion for example about social issues that is different to me where we have to agree to disagree and I end up going searching on mainly TikTok. If I see a comment where some people are against what my bf said I have to go and tell him and it’s almost every day my ocd manages to nitpick something. A lot of the time it’s me setting it off by asking his opinion or something where I can feel my ocd being like “let’s scan for things in this conversation to latch on to 😈” and starting a convo where something could trigger my ocd. He might be playing a video game and says things, for example if he’s shot in the game and gets a little bit annoyed. My ocd will instantly latch onto something. I try to hold it back but I ocd tells me I NEED to tell him off for it. If I bring something up while communicating and my boyfriend asks why I think something is bad, it usually always starts with “well I saw a tiktok/instagram comment-…” and my boyfriend stops me to tell me I’m going off a small group of people’s opinion and I need to be able To form my own opinion and it’s okay for me To have my own opinion. A lot of the time I can’t form an opinion because I’m scared what people think so I resort to looking at random peoples comments on posts. 😞 My ocd convinces me he’s a bad person because he has dark humour. Is all the need to confess my thoughts and tell him off ocd? Is the best thing to do sit with the uncomfortableness? Does anyone relate

I have health OCD, and my brain LOVES to interpret random things from my day as “signs” a certain thing will happen. Like, if I hear someone talk about vomiting more than usual, my brain says that’s a “sign” I’ll be sick. Or if I hear about a certain medical condition randomly or repeatedly in a day, that’s a “sign” it will happen to me. It’s taken a lot of effort for me to step back and tell myself basically: “I’m not an oracle. The universe is not sending me signs. My brain is just grasping into things I’m afraid of whenever I happen to hear about them.” My latest coping skill has been to exaggerate the intrusive thought sarcastically. Like, if I start to worry about having an aneurysm because I hear someone talking about it, for example, I might get the thought “That’s a sign your headache is actually an aneurysm,” and I’ll respond, “Oh, totally, my whole head is gonna explode, it’ll be crazy. I bet that twinge in my wrist means my whole hand is about to fall off too, right? Gotta look out for the foreshadowing.” Sometimes it’s so ridiculous that it helps me reframe the thought to be less threatening! Just thought I’d share.

This may be a little taboo so discretion advised. I stumbled upon this Twitter community that’s labeled to post 18+ Porn content and I’ve went in there a few times to view the posts. For some context I’m 19. For those of you who may not understand how Twitter communities work here’s some context for that as well. In these communities they are separated by a topic and everyone can join the community to then collectively converse or share media/pictures about the topic. Of course people made porn communities and anyone can post in these communities. Obviously knowing this I try to be as careful as possible by only viewing videos of individuals that are obviously above 18. I should also add this particular community has moderators that are supposed to be verifying videos and deleting anything that is suspect or not compliant with the rules but sometimes i worry the people in these videos aren’t actually 18 like they are supposed to be. I have every reason to believe they are of age except the fact that anyone is aloud to post in these communities so I fear I masturbated to a minor or viewed child porn without knowing they were underage because I misjudged by the video. I am currently in therapy and I have been for a while now so I know I should stick with the facts and really try to stick with my core values but this really is sticking with me and I don’t have a meeting for a few days can anyone help? (Also I should add I don’t have any of these videos saved and I didn’t share them either only viewed)

hey has anyone ever had like groinal responses but it always happens at weird times? Like when someone is fighting, when ur mad, or when ur stressed out. i’m scared i get turned on by bad things happening. my parents just fought and my mind keeps trying to tell me that them doing that makes me happy and then i got a groinal response. really struggling with this lately.

I may have brushed up against my bed with my outside clothes on. Will this contaminate my bed? Also has anyone else felt that they had breathing problems from spraying excessive Lysol?

Has anyone had saris make there OCD worse then before they started them. I've always noticed a mental increase when taking ssri or ssnri. But that's the medicine for OCD and anxiety since most doctors dont like benzo and for good reason but still.

Hello everyone. I recently discovered that I am bisexual and I've had a lot on my mind lately. One of my biggest worries would be if my parents found out. I come from a Christian household. Growing up Christian, I've never really discussed my sexuality until recently with my best friend who is also bi, as well as my therapist. I do at some point want to have that conversation but I need to get over the fear to an extent. Any tips?

hey so i had a really bad intrusive thought about the cross and Jesus’ resurrection, am i going to hell :( im so scared i dont mean that but it just happened

Hi guys, I think this was bugging me before.. When I close my eyes, fast images and outside thoughts hit me like I’m just about to go into a dream. But the awake part of me is still too sharp and identifies it as “false” or “that’s not true, it’s the beginning of a dream.” Why would dreams be coming in so fast like that? I’m really beginning to think it’s more like hypnagogic hallucinations, since I have been known to hear noises, voices, and even slams while drifting off. These are like dreams that rush in and try to convince me to go along with them. But the awake part of me opens my eyes because it knows it isn’t true. I’m not overtired when it happens. It’s more like a certain stubbornness in me that refuses to just drift off with the dream. If it is a dream, that is. It not only causes anxiety, but annoyance. Gets the heart pumping.. pure frustration Took 3 hours to fall asleep last night, and about 20 of these false/fake sleeps that couldn’t follow through to dreamland I Hate It

Do any of you have lots of trouble “accepting uncertainty” as part of your ERP because as a Christian sometimes you wonder if it’s really OCD or true conviction? I’m struggling with this right now.

my aunt gave me edibles to help with my anxiety from my intrusive thoughts. well i think i ended up greening out and i woke up this morning and my brain feels all fuzzy and i still feel like im going to die. has anyone with ocd ever been through this. im so scared right now.

My Ocd turns everything innocent and normal into something horrible. Sometimes when my daughter and I are watching tv she will want to play with and brush my hair. It feels so nice and relaxing or she will cuddle up and rub her feet on mine which is relaxing and makes me feel sleepy but ocd ruins it by telling me it’s inappropriate and that i’m enjoying something inappropriate. One day I saw a snapchat video my young grandson made of himself just out of the shower looking at himself shirtless in the mirror and I was thinking that he thinks he’s so cool and is probably going to flex like all boys do and laughed to myself but then the ocd kicked in and said that I was attracted to him and it made me so upset because I never have and don’t think of any child in that way. I don’t feel that way so how can ocd try to make me believe that I do?? How can ocd be more powerful than my own actual thoughts and feelings? This disorder is so debilitating and upsetting. I can’t live like this.

I feel like cancel culture is the enemy of OCD. It goes against everything so many of us have difficulty accepting- forgiveness, self-improvement, and feeling like a morally good person. Does anybody else get severely triggered by people being “cancelled” over small things and thinking: “That could be me someday”

Possibly tmi but one thing i’ve been really struggling with lately is using the bathroom and I mean #2. It seems like one of the worst germs to me. First of all I wipe and wipe and wipe more than I assume a person without contamination ocd does but I feel like I must know that its completely clean. Also, I then feel that when I shower and wash down there that my hands are contaminated and I need to wash them multiple times and I spend way too much time doing so. I know this is abnormal but I have trouble understanding how someone without contamination ocd would deal with this situation. I wish I could watch the process of how I should wipe and then how to wash that area in the shower. If anyone else has struggled with this, what did you do to improve? I feel like I don’t know what a “normal” routine would be that is considered clean enough.

Is it normal to be flattered when the opposite gender gives you attention and to like to feel pretty? I have a loving boyfriend and I would never cheat on him. I feel like I emotionally cheated because I was dancing at a wedding reception and was enjoying that this MUCH older, popular, “attractive” guy was noticing me. I tried to move my butt or dance “better” when he was looking?? My boyfriend was not at this reception and I was drinking. When the older guy left, I was sad because I wasn’t going to get the attention that I was getting. But we didn’t have a conversation other than him saying a few words to me. I did not say anything back to him. But I did enjoy his attention because I felt pretty. I never ever wanted to cheat on my boyfriend. I just wanted to look good. I don’t know why. This sounds awful. This incident was almost two years ago and I still feel horrible about it. My dad has told me this is human nature and I’m just overthinking it. I’ve already told my boyfriend and he was hurt but he said it would be like him wanting to look good on the beach in front of people.

So, I was exposed to pornography at a very young age and it ruined my childhood. Of course, at the time I saw those disgusting, horrible and even illegal things and I liked them, but now I have to deal with the consequences of that, and I feel disgusting. When I got professional help, I was told that even if when I was a child and watched lolicon, for example, it is okay beacuse I didn't harm anyone. But I still feel guilty, I do not want to hurt real children, I had never had these intrusive thoughts about children, it is only now that I am overcoming my addiction that I realize how awful and harmful the things I've seen were. How do I forgive myself, and accept my past mistakes?