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the NOCD Community

If you had to pick one piece of advice from your therapist, or otherwise, that made the most dramatic impact on your recovery, what would it be? For me, maybe not "the most" but something my therapist said that radically changed my mindset for the better was that OCD is not an expert on anything. It doesn't know something, literally anything, that I don't. It doesn't have a medical degee, a law degree or any other degree. It's not a theologian, an astronomer or even a psychic. OCD is a small-minded stranger who knows nothing about anything and, maybe because of that, they have something to prove. They come up to you (knowing nothing about you) and they start acting like they know more about everything, including you and the kind of person you are. Being able to remind myself that OCD is a random, unknowing (for lack of a better word) idiot and being able to reframe its intrusions through this lens and this voice has significantly helped me in being able to talk back to OCD and even to prevent compulsions before they start. Looking forward to hearing what piece of advice has helped you all the most!

I had a 3 year long relationship (I was 15 when we started dating). I always wanted to get married young, he claimed that we could do that a few years later. There were problems at the end of the relationship (he was really into sports, it was almost his priority, his mother didn't want that we would spend so much time together...). I started to feel that he is lying to me (about his wishes regarding our future) because he didn't want to loose me. He proposed (2 months before we broke up) but it was probably only to make me happy (a shut up ring basically😆). After our breakup it was a hard time for me, I also lost my only and best friend and I was alone after 3 years. I focused on myself, but because of my loneliness I had dating apps. I met a lot of new people, it was never serious. It always somehow ended. 6 months later I met my now husband, he was (and is) amazing, caring, loving...he is everything I wanted. He understood my trauma from the previous relationship. Unfortunately my ROCD has started that time, it was awful. But he was there for me. We soon ended up getting married despite my anxiety. I love him, he is like my best friend. But now my OCD got worse. I have thoughts like I don't love him, how do I know for sure that I love him? What if I'm in denial...The last month I have really often thoughts about my ex, a lot of things remind me of him, I dream about getting back together, I'm comparing him to my husband. I have really bad anxiety, I have thoughts like what if I love my ex, what if I have to leave my husband because of this...it is so bad. I don't want to loose him. I had also urges to stalk my ex on social media in the past, yesterday I had to do it to analyze if I'm feeling something (he has a new girlfriend and posts her a lot). I can't even describe what I felt..anger, sadness, jealousy?, but it was so weird, I have also thoughts that I hope that he knows that I'm married, that he is jealous, I wish that they break up...I'm so ashamed, I don't want to lie to myself, to my husband...I don't want to hurt him, he is such a good person, I don't want to leave him, our marriage...I don't understand what that all means... I'm so sorry for the long text...I just really need to talk with someone about it...

My OCD has me feeling suicidal. I don’t have suicidal OCD (if that’s a thing) but I have lived with OCD my entire life, it’s gotten so bad that it is unbearable. I have just right OCD, and the constant feeling of things needing to “feel right” is eating me up inside. I don’t want to live this way. Even when I try to live with discomfort, I physically cannot. My head will actually hurt until I get things to point of feeling right. It’s to the point where I feel as though my brain chemistry has been altered. When I do follow through with a compulsion, I’ll sometimes have dreams of those obsessions and it’s so scary. I don’t know what to do. I want to live. I want to be happy and healthy. But this OCD is really making that tremendously difficult. I can’t do anything for myself, nor be a support for those around me, and whom I love. I don’t know what to do anymore😞😔💔💔💔

I think I’m going through the hardest depression right now. I’ve never felt so compelled to just stop getting up and stop living. I know it’s hard to hear, I just really feel bad. Right now I even feel like an attention seeker. I just wanted to know, are there any tips to raise me from this hole im in? Has anyone else felt like this an pulled themselves out?

i have uninstalled this app for one day bc someone here told me so but i dtarted talkinv to chat gbt again after one week of not talking to it. i am scared and i dont know what i feel but i do at the same time, i know i love my boyfriend but i still have this strange feeling in me, and so many emotions, i sometimes think he is cringe and annoying and i dont like it i dont understand what i feel now. I am scared that i will mot have anxiety anymotr and the thoughts will be true. i wamt to cry but i cant im so confused, one moment im happy one moment im confused and i feel strange

Is it just me or is reddit and quora the worst things to be on when you’re in a spiral or just in general when you have OCD? Why is it always mostly negative replies on there or just ‘move on, get over it’ ‘break up’, ‘what’s wrong with you?’ responses? I’ve accidentally made it a habit/compulsion to go on there when I’m freaking out about something and it always makes me worse - especially when it comes to ROCD! It always make me doubt my own thoughts and emotions :(

For the past couple of weeks I’ve been having these anxiety induced thoughts about me liking women, I have never been attracted to a woman. It started with one of my friends saying he thought i was a lesbian when he first met me, then one of my teachers asking him if i was bi. When he told me that I started overthinking and now i’m scared. I don’t want to be a lesbian and i’ve only ever liked guys. My brain is telling me i like girls but i know I like guys. When i’m distracted i don’t think about it but when i’m alone it starts up again, it makes my heart ache which is really annoying but I know it’s just my anxiety. I’m not really sure what to do and it’s stressing me out.

HELP! Relationship ruminating worries Hi all. I am diagnosed anxiety, depression, ADHD, and recent in the last year PTSD. No OCD diagnosis, yet I’m having rumination struggles that have caused me to join this app seeking maybe some help or tips. I’m 20 and in my first ever committed relationship, we’ve been seeing each other about 5 months, and dating about 2-3. I’m in a huuuuge anxiety episode right now. And all day I ruminate about how to find relief in my own mind. However, recently my rumination has latched on/moved towards questioning thoughts that I’ve never had before about my relationship. I’ll be sitting normally, and ‘remember’ that the ruminating thoughts exist from a pang of anxiety, and then start thinking them again, with the goal of ‘figuring out’ how I feel about him. It feels urgent that I figure it out, and it makes me feel like I’ve lost everything I know about love to be true about our good relationship. I love my boyfriend, and it’s been a very positive, nice first relationship experience so far. Whenever I am with him in person, I have never had any of these thoughts. Another variable that has potentially changed this thinking for me is that we have been apart nearly a month for the first time, since I am on holiday with family. However, it’s been tolerable, I miss him, but a normal amount. The thoughts are things like, “am I making the right decision to be in a relationship?” “Is he really the one that I want to be committed to?” “Is this how a relationship is supposed to feel, is it right for me?” “I don’t think I want this long LONG term, isn’t that bad? Aren’t I making the wrong decision, then?” “Is what I feel truly love? Is this idea of ‘love’ truly strong like it might be with another person who is ‘better’ for me?” “Have I been zoning out this whole time, and made a decision of commitment that is totally not my style and not my thing?” I don’t really believe that most of these are true. I chose this relationship at the time based off of true gut and heart feeling. I love my partner. But when I’m worrying, they start to feel potentially true. I ruminate for hours and days trying to figure out and come to a better mental feeling about it. Trying to answer all of these questions has proved useless- I never feel better after spiraling into thought. However, when I think about these questions, I start to believe that they really might be true, and for some reason that scares me a lot. My main fear that Comes from this process is that I may really truly feel this way, and just not clearly know it yet. Just wondering if anyone else has had these thoughts. I told my partner about them but it didn’t help too much, he just told me I have nothing to worry about and that he loves me a lot, he has no mental health issues and doesn’t really understand my severe ruminating anxiety yet. I start therapy again in about a week and a half, so I will bring this up to them next session, but I have been a worried wreck. Let me know if you have any pointers/similar experience.

One minute I’m crying over the thoughts the next minute I’m “enjoying” the thoughts

No one cares about me everyone keeps leaving me! I wish I was never born why do I have to suffer like this why am I alone i want love so badly I want to be normal! Why was i born like this I'm having a breakdown and I'm idk how to change

I often have very visceral and horrifying images of myself dying, usually in an accident that nobody expected. Sometimes I imagine images of my family or friends dying in the same situations, and it drives me nuts. I tell myself I think this way to get attention, like it feels like I have this voice in my head that tells me I want attention so bad that I create fake scenarios in my head that make people feel sympathy for me. But I don’t want to believe it, I don’t believe it. I feel like I’m in a constant battle in my own head!! Does anyone have this same issue?

no clue if this is compulsive, but I’m interested to hear any obsessions others have that aren’t the “common” ones you see online about what ROCD is? a few for me: - thoughts about their partner being with someone else instead (sometimes a specific person) and then trying to analyze your reaction to it? e.g. does it *feel* more right than us, do I actually feel happy for them, etc. - trying to imagine your partner in your current situation or maybe a specific future situation (when they’re not around) and trying to decide if they “fit” in it? - being super scared of losing them, then suddenly feeling like you don’t care much for them at all, and just constantly cycling? - I almost never fully enjoyed sex because I was constantly obsessing about whether or not I was turned on, turned on “enough,” if I was just having groinal responses and wasn’t actually turned on, looking at his face just to decide if I find him attractive enough, comparing my experience with how I feel watching content alone, etc.

I've been posting and commenting often, and I've developed this weird fear? Like, what if one of my posts or something I've said has made someone uncomfortable, or maybe they didn't agree, and they blocked me or just disliked me in general? It's so silly because this is a place where you should be comfortable to share anything, and there's always going to be people in life who have different opinions than you or maybe even dislike you. I know that, but I'd just hate to make someone upset or uncomfortable. I don't think I have, but... it's just been this reoccurring thought of mine. I'm also afraid of accidentally offering reassurance. I'm sure I have at some point... It began after I made a vulnerable post on here, and I felt self-conscious about it the next day. It's just been nagging me ever since. Has anyone else felt this way after posting or commenting? Just wondering, thank you! 🤍

I’m fairly new to this, by that I mean I’ve had it for a good long while now but it’s only gotten bad and gotten diagnosed recently. With that, what’s some stuff I should probably know right off the bat?

I’m literally freaking out.I had made a post about this before but I met this man months ago and after I got home from seeing each other,this video on TikTok popped up saying “God says don’t be with this man,he’s going to give you HIV” etc. I’ve been having this fear since that day I first experienced things but no vag intercourse.and then last night I had a dream of the video and the man is wanting to see me tonight and we haven’t seen each other in monthss so I still think about him here and there and miss him. What does this mean? Should I gout with him or no? I feel like I’m going to have a panic attack. STDs scare me.just hearing about stds just terrify me.please help!!

I’ve been ignoring the googling urges I get. They’re the strongest urges I feel. I’ve been distracting myself and going on about my life without considering them or ruminating. All for what? I had to go into a public bathroom to have a panic attack that had been building all day. I’m so sleep deprived, so tired. My sisters say I resemble sadness from Inside Out. I believe them. I feel so drained.

This is my first post- I’ve had ups and downs with OCD but my anxiety around my fears is particularly strong when I wake up to the point that I struggle to get out of bed. I also struggle to eat because of how intense the anxiety is. I tend to be so stressed when I finally do get up that i’m nauseous in the mornings. Any tips for these two things would be much appreciated!

sorry for repost. I don’t know if people aren’t answering because they think im weird or gross. but here I am going to upload a post that I made, it has contents of trauma, sexual themed ocd, zoophilia ocd. I need some help, or advice on how to forgive myself or if I should even forgive myself? Some actions are unforgivable, for example (abusing animls, pdo philia , r4pe) and I’m scared that I am unforgivable and irredeemable. This compulsion happened a couple times. I’m scared I morally failed myself and my pets Here’s the post:

So i play in a band, and we were having practice, and my girlfriend was there listening to us, then this girl around our age walks in, and my head tells me to cheat on my girlfriend with her. I know i would never do such a thing. And it bothered me for days. And i ended up telling my girlfriend, and tried to explain my ocd. It hurt her and she believes that the instrusive thoughts, are my thoughts so in that, i must feel something behind them. And she feels hurt because i explained to her the obsessive part of ocd and how this thought wouldnt leave my head. And she got upset knowing that i was constantly thinking about cheating on her. I cant help but feel its all my fault. And now that she doesnt understand i feel really guilty for my thoughts and they are coming more often and worse. When i was fine for months, but my ocd always acts up right as i get in relationships, then i usually tell my spouse and tell them i cant feel guilt for my thoughts or they will get worse. And they usually just accepted it and it was easy. But with her it seems she just cant seem to understand, ive tried to explain it to her countless times, she isnt willing to do research with me to help better understand it or anything. Maybe for my first ocd issue telling her that wasnt the best idea.

How do you tell the difference between real guilt/shame verses something ocd. And what if it’s both? What if your real event ocd is something that really is very bad. And not just ocd.