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How do I know if my thoughts are real or just ocd

I know I’m not alone on this but I really don’t know why I’m like this. I hate it, I hate overthinking so much. I care too much for everyone even people I don’t know. I especially overthink so so much in my relationship. People tell me “you have trust issues?” No I don’t know how to explain it. It’s not trust issues I just always need to be reassured 24/7 and I hate having to overthink Yk? I don’t know why I’m like this at all and I cry so easily because of how sensitive I am. I just wished I wasn’t this sensitive and such an over thinker.

does anyone else get INTENSE derealization (it’s the worse for me when i wake up from a dream in the middle of the night) and it’s so bad that it genuinely feels like nothing is real, not even thoughts are real, consciousness is not real, what the heck are we doing on a floating ball in the middle of darkness?? i feel like im in a simulation or a dream. i hate it sm ive had it everyday for 5 years, but tbh im not surprised it hasn’t gotten better because I have gone through some traumatic things recently and have had bad mental health. hopefully it could get better soon idk.

I'm not drowning in overwhelming anxiety anymore after starting medication, but I feel... off. There's still this lingering anxiety, but it's like it's blocked or something. I hate the sensation of it. I don't really feel like I'm living, just existing. I'm afraid internally, but I can't express it anymore or experience physical symptoms of that fear. I can't even cry, but I feel like I want to or need to :( Maybe things are just worse right now because I'm on my period, but I'm genuinely so tired. I don't know how recovery is going to be for me, and what if it's not enough? What if this doubt and guilt that surrounds my life doesn't go away? I'm just afraid because I enjoy living and I love my family, but every time I think about having to deal with this for the rest of my life, I get bad thoughts of ending things. I just want peace. I just want to be confident in my own identity for once.

I’m really struggling with suicidal theme ocd, it started off with what if thoughts then it moved on too commands and now I’m getting thoughts like ‘ im going to _____’ I can’t get them out off my head and I’m struggling as I think this is actually my true thoughts right now and I feel so panicky I don’t want these too be true but they feel so real since I have been getting the I am going to it’s been replying in my head all day all night can’t stop it Please can someone help me if this is still ocd I’m really getting frightened

Hello I’m 16 I have had soocd for about a year now I’m convinced I’m gay cuz of the intrusive thoughts or thoughts telling me that men are hot and the gay images and thoughts I have a girlfriend and we broke up and I cried a lot so does that make me gay I kinda have this issue we’re I don’t really feel anything toward her I feel blocked off I don’t know if it’s anxiety and doubt but I cried for her but I feel like I’m gay cuz my attraction is fully gone any opinions on this?

Today at lunchtime, my friend and her boyfriend came over to sit with me like usual. Her boyfriend is almost always silent and we usually are the ones talking. Today, there was a point where he spoke and I felt a sense of attraction. Like I wanted to to touch him. So I made sure my legs were as far away as possible from his the whole time. Yet, I was speaking and trying to get his attention. After I left the lunch table I felt really guilty and I don't know what to do. I didn't say anything inappropriate it was just conversation and I didn't even speak to him directly but I was speaking in a way to get his attention and impress him, to make a move on him. Yet, moments earlier i was thinking of marrying my girlfriend and imagined how the ceremony would be. It made me feel so happy and just imagining it made me want to cry. Literally moments before, I was avoiding looking at others and making sure I didn't touch anyone. So I'm not sure why I did that, considering I don't like him and deeply in love with my girlfriend. I'm scared and feel really guilty.

i’ve struggled so badly with this subtype for a year, i am constantly thinking i have an illness with any slight trigger or symptom but 99% of the time it is something harmless. it’s now causing me to miss work and because i don’t have great insurance or time off policy i ruminate all the time about seeing a doctor, what i can afford, whether something is really an emergency or not, etc. :( my brain jumps from illness to illness too, so it is hard to think of effective exposures for the whole of it and also i’m scared of reading or thinking about an illness i haven’t already thought of before and then my ocd adopting it and telling me it’s the new one i have. has anyone had any luck with managing this? i feel like it is getting worse and taking over my life, i feel really disappointed in myself that i haven’t been able to get a handle on it even though i am in therapy and have used erp before to help panic disorder effectively :(

About a month ago, well technically TWO months ago, I went cold turkey off of my lexepro. Before this, I dealt with a lot of healthy anxiety, constantly thinking I was going to die. But anyways, I have been in a 9 month relationship. Healthiest and most fulfilling relationship I’ve been in. We always push eachother to do better. Something I’ve never had from a partner before. About a month and a half in going cold turkey off of my lexepro, one night, I felt like I was suddenly having doubts about the relationship. Doubts that didn’t even have any logic behind them. I’m glad I didn’t just give into my compulsions about just leaving. But now that I’m learning more about ROCD, I was just curious if going off medications like that can cause a flare up. I’ve been on lexepro for about two years

Please read this. I’ve had ocd pretty much a lot of my life but never knew what it was until my senior year of highschool. I’m 21 with 2 kids and i believe i’ve had pocd a little bit before my daughter was born (which was 8 months ago). It made me start looking at all kids differently and i hate it. But it really started triggering me about 3 months ago. I’ve been thinking if i’d intentionally touched or harmed my kids the wrong way, or any kids for that matter. This started giving me false memories (or at least hope they are). I’ve been having panic attacks, yelling at myself, punching walls, praying, and even thoughts of ending my own life. I grew up in a severe toxic household throughout my childhood and teenage life. I’ve never wished that on my kids since i became a dad. I wanna give them the life i never got. I look back my photos of my children and i feel like i’m a complete fraud of a dad. I cannot look at my kids or be around them a lot of times. I can’t hold my daughter right. I can’t change their diaper when they need it. Even my son came and was hugging on me the other night while i was watching tv and i acted like a stranger to him. I can very little do this stuff sometimes because it’s either i get relief or i push my thoughts as far back as i can. I get scared if i did something to not just my kids, but any other kids in the past. I have such a a great life and such a beautiful family. It was hard and stressful at first being young with a family but i couldn’t be more thankful at all for them. I’m just so lost and stressed right now that i just don’t know what to do anymore

Ive just found out the girl i have a crush on has a girlfriend that she is currently dating. Of course i will support them together and i can continue to be friends with the girl i like, but honestly... im heartbroken... and the fact that my OCD will always make me think I unknowingly explicitly cybered with a minor... and i cant get any sort of reassurance about it... im in a state of hopelessness that will never recover anytime soon... Im done trying to hope. Im done trying to convince myself that anything can be done to make me happy... if people want to call me an incel for feeling this way... think that im a creep... they can... im so hopeless and alone... and no one cares about me... no one...

I’ve had undiagnosed ocd since I was a child and I always wanted things to be a certain way and when they weren’t I would spiral out of control into distress and Terror to the point where I would destroy or distance myself from whatever was triggering me. I got diagnosed a few years ago I am now 24 and initially I didn’t believe it and sometimes I still don’t. I started my first relationship 3 years ago with a girl I’ve known since high school and we loved each other very much but eventually my ocd drove me to break up with her after we went from living down the street from each other and seeing each other every day to me moving far away to live with my mom. I didn’t have any friends and was lonely so I would start experiencing limerence with people that reminded me of her that I saw at school but I didn’t even know them. The thoughts got so bad that I couldn’t focus in class and would skip classes to avoid people. I eventually broke up with her after being long distance for a bit because I felt like I was cheating on her for having these thoughts constantly and I felt guilty and like a bad person. I didn’t talk to her for a year and I missed her very much I still love her so I reached out after I had a better understanding of my behavior to apologize for breaking up with her. They way I did it was really awful I just told her that I was obsessed with another girl and that I felt like I didn’t love her anymore because that’s how I interpreted my intrusive thoughts at the time so I didn’t want to feel like I was deceiving her and wanted to tell her the truth. When I called her and told her the whole story and that I was sorry she was very kind and understanding considering she already knew I was struggling with mental health. She talked about what she had been up to the year we weren’t speaking and told me that she hooked up with someone. I took it very hard since we were each other’s firsts and only. I never thought that she could do that because she always seemed like she wanted a genuine connection with someone and a relationship so doing it so casually especially not that long after a break up hit me hard and she had mentioned it was when she was really drunk and it happened a few times with the same person who was a coworker of hers. I acknowledge that it might have been her way of grieving and that she was hurting. After this initial call we became friends again and started calling regularly and we would always talk on the phone for hours. It felt like our connection never left and she told me she never stopped loving me. But when she asked if there was a chance of us getting back together again multiple times I would say no and tell her to move on because I was so hurt by what she did even though it was valid since we weren’t together. I knew it would haunt me and I would never see her the same not because I saw her as dirty which she originally thought but because she would always tell me I was her only love and she always only wanted me but then my brain would point to her actions and that doubt would make me not trust her and hate her. Then she met someone else while we were still talking who showed interest in her and I still loved her but it had only been a few months since we started contact again and I was still processing her hooking up with someone. She tried to end contact with me because the new guy she was talking to didn’t like her talking to me which I could understand but they weren’t in a relationship and he was just her friend who she only met a few months prior. After we stopped contact I suffered a lot because I still loved her and missed her but I knew I was sick and still resented her for her actions. But I wrote her one final message expressing that I still loved her but that I hoped she would be happy. She reciprocated and then we met in person again to see if she still felt the same and she immediately was physically affectionate with me hugging me and holding my hand as if I was still her boyfriend which caught me off guard because I had my boundaries up since I knew we were just hanging out as friend but to her it was a date. After talking we felt we would try again considering we still love each other deeply and have a strong connection. We acknowledged the challenges we would have to face together like my ocd which is the biggest problem we face in our relationship in the past and more so now. When I’m calm we are extremely happy and see us getting married and having kids and having a future. However, I constantly get stuck in a spiral where I believe she doesn’t love me or that she’s hiding things from me or that I’m not good enough because of her like others and sleeping with another which previously wasn’t the case. I think I’m trying to mend our relationship and make it whole again justifying the gap year we had apart in my head as just a break and that we still loved each other but then I remember her actions during that time and she tell me she loved me even when we were apart and my thoughts are just screaming LIAR LAIR you can’t trust her. Then I feel so much hatred towards her and I feel like I want nothing to do with her. We’ve been working through this together but it takes a toll on her too and I feel bad. During these spirals I try to get control by telling myself maybe if I see her in the old relationship as my old girlfriend and consider her dead then it will justify her actions and I will just see her as a new girl but that didn’t work. Then I was like maybe I’ll just not be physically affectionate towards her to detach from her that way so I stop hurting but I can’t resist her especially when I feel call I am constantly hugging her. My other thought was maybe I should go hook up with someone myself since she’s the only person I’ve been with and then we can just sleep with whoever but still be together that will make this okay. When it gets really bad I just can’t accept that it even happened and feel like I would rather die then I start getting suicidal intrusive thoughts constantly. I’m not going to breakup with her like I did in the past I am committed to staying by her side and beating my thoughts but it feels impossible and I don’t want to live this way. It’s a constant rollercoaster for the both of us. I start therapy again in 2 weeks I’ve had therapist in the past and taken many medications but it usually made things worse and that’s when we would break up before. I don’t know if anyone has been through anything similar but I would like any advice if you have because I honestly don’t know what to do. I’m either in love with her and we are happy or I hate her so much and I want nothing to do with her because I’m constantly getting thoughts about her past and then I don’t want to not live any longer knowing that she was with someone else. It’s only been 4 months since that first phone call since our 1 year apart so I don’t know if I just need time but I feel like I’ll never see her the same ever again.

So, I'm going to share one of my most triggering memory or experience of mine. What I did was, I was reading a sensual story/experience of man on reddit in which he shared his experience that how he got physical with his own teacher when he was 13-14. I then became arosued by reading it and then pleasured myself by putting myself in that scenario. I made such kind of fantasies in which I'm getting physical with my students, sometimes they're over 15 and sometimes over 18 and so and it has happened a lot of times. Now, such things triggers me because I'm going to be a teacher soon (I'm 21), and when I remember about this, I feel disgusted by myself. I feel guilt and this also triggers my POCD sometimes that once I pleasured myself thinking of a 13-14 boy. This makes me feel very disgusted and anxious that how can become a teacher because whatever I did was so ridiculous. I feel like a horrible person. Please someone help me. Am I actually a very horrible person?

This is gonna be a lot about sex cuz idk what’s happening. I have a bf and sex is new as of mid august. But since I’ve been on birth control since end of august sex feels different? I’ve been on 2 types, a patch (forget the name rn) till October, now im on nexplanon. I have no period atm so that’s a nice bonus ig. But mental health is…. Uhhh not wonderful! I feel numb I feel like I’m not horny enough. Or I’m not feeling enough. I feel him inside me and everything but it’s not the same feeling as before And also: eye contact, I don’t get this intense sense of connection but it’s nice to look at him. It doesn’t turn me on more tho Neither does watching his head roll back. It’s hot but I don’t feel anything change down below and I don’t get butterflies anymore My mind wanders. I’m wondering if im enjoying it. If im playing an active part in the sex cuz im very…. Bad at it? I think is how I’d put it? I let him take control cuz it gives my brain a break but my brain is now saying that me not being able to be on top or don’t really like it means I don’t like him and/or im a lesbian depending on the day. Even before this I wasn’t a huge fan of being on top cuz I get embarrassed really easily and I don’t wanna ruin the moment ;-; Like it still feels good but it doesn’t feel as intimate as it used to when we first started dating/before ocd hit/in backdoor spikes (honestly we had some good times and I felt good). Is it just a “im used to his body” thing or am I just not feeling it? I don’t get turned on by seeing him shirtless or naked anymore. But don’t get me wrong he’s still hot I just don’t get aroused unless we start making out Also making out lately- no butterflies, I feel things in my groin but not my stomach or chest and my brain isn’t in it. It feels like im partially not present if that makes sense. I feel out tongues sliding around but it’s not as hot as it used to be and idk if that’s cuz im gay or if that’s cuz im in a depression hole cuz of my birth control and it’s made the ruminating worse and worse Also dirty talk isn’t doing much anymore, no butterflies as well. Maybe we need novelty? Maybe we need to be adventurous? Cuz rn all we really do is missionary lol. I should maybe communicate more as well 😅 Also: I find that when I’m waiting for him to either go to the washroom or get a condom or tie me up or smthn while we’re not touching or doing anything flirty, I start to lose steam and I start panicking which then makes it worse 💀💀 In summary: what am I meant to feel during sex? I know most women don’t orgasm from penetration, which is why a vibrator is always incorporated. What else am I meant to feel? I feel sweaty when he enters Idk it’s driving me nuts. After he and I finished up yesterday I found myself wondering if I liked it. It felt nice in the moment and I did finish. It was kinda uncomfy cuz I was laying on my own ponytail and it was being pulled by me lol😭😭

I’m stuck between wanting to try medication again for my ruminating or if I should not put anything in my body and only continue therapy. Health anxiety is completely new to me and has grown more and more severe over the span of about 5 months now, and it’s made me feel like I’m going to die at any moment and that my heart will give out on me. My mind has completely fixated on my heart and I’ve been to the cardiologist about 4 times within the 5 month period thinking that there is something wrong with me. My test results and MRI results came back fine, but I’m not completely convinced even still that it’s healthy and I second guess my cardiologists opinion and feel like there must be something else, and something was missed. It’s drastically changed my day to day life, as I feel it’ll end any day which terrifies me. I took Prozac in the past, only a few years ago, for generalized anxiety and had no reactions to it, but that was before the health anxiety started, and now I feel like I am going to be the “unlucky” one who dies from it or goes into cardiac arrest even on only 20mg. It also plays into my whole fear of having bad luck or doing something “wrong” or something I’m not supposed to (can be as small as putting the wrong socks on in the morning) which will then lead to catastrophic and fatal consequences that will be my fault. All I want is to get better mentally, but I feel almost as if my thoughts telling me to not take the Prozac and that I’m going to die from it, are actually there to protect me and that I shouldn’t ignore them. I feel so conflicted and wanted to reach out to others who have been in a similar position.

I struggle with rocd, and a big intrusive thought that I have is that I’m no longer in love with my partner. I am going through a depression right now, and I am struggling to feel any kind of passion towards anything at the moment. I am withdrawing from the people I love because I just feel like I want to be alone. When I’m with people I just feel exhausted by it. I guess my question is, has anyone ever felt like this from depression? Does it take feelings of love and attraction away? I can’t tell if this is my ocd or depression or a combination of both. But it’s starting to impact my relationship which makes me panic because losing it is my worst fear.

Hi! Can someone tell me their experience of perfectionism ocd?? I find myself very stressed out over cleanliness and it’s not even everything it’s just like specific things. For example if my boyfriend does the dishes and leaves soap suds around the sink I freak out. If there is some dust on the walls I have to clean it or I can’t relax, I have to vacuum our carpet almost every day because if I see dirt or something else, I can’t see dust on my nightstand or any sort of clutter, etc. I just get so uncomfortable with clutter… I’m not sure if this is just a sensory thing for me? But I’m curious if this is also my OCD?

Im 21 years old, I had ocd seen I was 14 when it started it stopped me from telling anyone I have it. It was really bad at the time and I had no clue how to deal with it I even was able to kill myself at one point but decided to have hope it would get better. In time it did got better but I had no clue what was wrong with me and I didn't want to tell anyone. Until this year I finally found out what it was and my ocd started getting bad again but I'm doing better now. Is been 7 years but I really want my mom to know what I been through but I feel like if I tell her it hurt her and I feel bad for not telling her when it started. I just need same help getting the courage to tell her.

I don’t have much of a support system outside of my bf, so I find myself here a lot. I think I just need to vent, so forgive me if I do this too often. It helps to have a community of people who truly understand. I haven’t felt this debilitated by mental illness in months. There has to be some explanation, maybe it’s hormonal, because I feel like I’ve completely lost myself. The panic hits in waves, sudden and overwhelming, like my head is submerged in lava, burning and suffocating. Then, for a brief moment, I feel almost normal and wonder what all the fear was about. But it never lasts. The chaos always comes back. I even considered going to the ER because I’m not sure I can trust myself anymore. Something has to be wrong, because this isn’t me. My life isn’t perfect, but it’s not unbearable either. Since I withdrew from school, I’ve been so much less stressed that even my cycle, which has been irregular for years, has somehow regulated itself. But even with that, I feel like a failure. I was one semester away from finishing, so close, but OCD hit me harder than it ever has. It felt like drowning, gasping for air, reaching for something solid, only to be dragged under again and again. Now, I feel like that again, but worse. I feel hollow, like something is wrong with me at my core. I don’t just feel sad; I feel broken. I break down into uncontrollable sobs every few hours, and I don’t even know why. I just know that whatever is happening, OCD is taking full advantage of how vulnerable I feel. Is this what MDD feels like? Everyone tells me I have it, and it’s been confirmed by my psych, my pcp, and my therapist, but I still can’t seem to fully see it. I don’t know how to separate what’s OCD from what might be another disorder. I’m sorry to anyone also going through such a hard time, my heart goes out to you 🤍

Hey, this is my first time on here so I’m sorry if the story is long. I will try my hardest to make this short and sweet. About a year and some change ago, I matched with a girl on Tinder and we agreed to an FWB type relationship, but it did not last long because she decided to get back with her ex. Matter of fact, we only ever hung out twice in person, both times having or doing something sexual. Normally, I would not do anything like this, but this was at a time where I felt and still do feel like I don’t deserve a relationship or a girlfriend. Very negative way of thinking that I’m trying to work through therapy, but it was the way I was thinking and felt like I only deserved “meaningless sex” and I was lonely. During those times, we shared a lot of things that happened to us in our lives and we even shared that we were both Christian as well. I’m not sure it was one sided on my part, but it felt like we became good friends. When she told me that she was going to get back with her ex, I understood and respected her decision. Part of me did want to ask why, and almost tell her not to do it, but that was not my place and I did not wanna come off like I was “saving her for myself.” so I completely removed me from that and just wished her the best and we both kind of agreed that we wished we never hooked up because we really liked each other as friends. This is the part that concerns me and also makes me shocked with myself. The first time we met up, it was at her apartment, which was literally down the street from my grandmother‘s house. The second time we hung out, it was at a house. She was dog sitting, and that house was in my neighborhood that mom, dad, brother and sister and myself lived in. At this time, I did not live at home due to a new job, but I did live in the same county meaning that I can visit family if I wanted to. So that meant every time I visited home, I knew I could drive around to the house she said, and every time I went to visit my grandmother, I would pass her apartment complex. This information coupled with the fact I kind of missed her, led to me, wanting to check on her. Before I continue, I did not try to infiltrate her home or steal things or literally anything to cause her harm, as I had no intention of doing anything to her. It was simply driving past her apartment and the house she dog sat at. The best way I can describe it was if I was in town either to visit my parents or just was in town and impulse strike for me to drive by, I would try to ignore and or fight this feeling because at the end of the day, I did not want to do it, but I would end up doing it. This was not an every day thing. Matter of fact, it really only happened when I was visiting family. The best way I can describe my thought process was I just wanted to see if she was okay, while also slightly hoping that she would be single again but I realized it was weird. Mind you the times I would do this, I would be very uncomfortable. Anyway, I bring this up because I started being scared of being a stalker or having stalker like tendencies. I’ve recently discovered I had pure OCD and I have themes such as POCD, HOCD, ZOCD, false attractions, unwanted thoughts, images, things like that. But I also do struggle with ruminating in my past and ruminating about a lot of the mistakes I’ve made often wondering why did I do it and why wasn’t I stronger. So every time I try to remain in the present, I remember something from my past that freaks me out again and now I’m in the cycle. This is one of those things that worries me a lot to where I feel like I’m in a constant state of awareness often feeling restless. I told my therapist about this and he doesn’t think this makes me a stalker, but he’s also slightly glad that it scares me and I think that’s because if I wasn’t scared, he would be much more concerned about it. Yeah, I don’t know if that was OCD or not and I really came on here because there’s a girl named Tia Wilson, who I saw on Instagram, who apparently broke into a house because of their OCD. I can explain why I feel or hope it was OCD but I don’t wanna make this post longer than it is so I’ll just explain in the comments