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Please help I think I cheated cuz I let this girl I found pretty graze me at Starbucks she was just walking by and now I’m scared I wanted the touch to be sexual or that just her grazing me even was sexual HELP

I’ve hade a bad day today kinda of told my person we aren’t dating right now but I told him in just going to focus on my school and let God heal me and see what he does with us I’m so tired idk I kinda give up to ocd today I feel so exhausted pray for me

I was sitting next to my daughter. Idk what happened it was like I twitched and my arm went toward her. But then i stopped middair. I dont recall the details but ocd says i was doing something inappropriate or touching inappropriate. Thats not who i am. It could have been an involuntary action or i extended my arm and than got anxious so brought it back but i tried ignoring it and had false memory now

Does anyone imagine they are doing their harm thoughts during an action, making you feel like you acted on your thoughts? For example, someone gave me a hug and at the last second I imagined I was touching something I shouldn’t during the hug? I want to make it clear it’s something I have zero desire to do! But the problem is, I thought it on purpose and it makes me sick !! Obviously nothing happened but my mind is telling me that was me trying to do it. Even though it was physically impossible to do. Am I a monster or could this be OCD? I’m freaking out and don’t want to be here anymore. I feel like I’m the exception and that this isn’t OCD. I know I post about this stuff a lot but I’m struggling and don’t know what to do.

I was maybe 6 or 7 and she was maybe 5 or 6. The only thing I remember is that maybe I was on a bed and I think she got on top of me (dry humping with clothes on) and I remember we were under a blanket but I don't know if that's true, I don't know if I got on top of her or she got on top of me? Or maybe I wasn't on the bed but I just saw her? or maybe nothing happened? Or maybe it was someone else on the bed? Or maybe she was just on the bed sleeping because, I have a memory of seeing her sleeping because I think she had a skirt on that day? I don't know, it's stressing me out not knowing, I'm scared and what if I really did SA? I've seen a lot of TikTok on COCSA and I'm thinking that maybe I committed this act, didn't I? I don't know Because I was on TikTok and I got three TikToks in a row talking about SA and I'm thinking to myself, what if I really SA this girl when I was a kid, and I'm a really bad person and in reality I don't have OCD. What if this is a sign that I really did it? I don't know, it scares me, I don't know how to tell if I really did it or not. I'm scared, like why can't I remember the details of this scene? Why can't I remember what happened before and after? And was I really there that day? And was it really me in that bed? But if I had really SA someone I'm sure I would have remembered and hated me all my life for putting someone through that

I spiral so much its usually 1. Those mistakes aren't from someone who is not a p 2. But am I really attracted to children? 3. I might be.. but if I don't think about my mistakes then I wouldn't think if I'm attracted to children 4. Well then I'm not a p*do And repeat I'm scared if I'm not changed person now. It's pretty clear that I didn't found I was one? The scariest thing is that I still made questionable mistakes when I got pocd. This makes me worry if they weren't mistakes but genuine actions coming from being a p then it makes me worry because they're usually permanent Basically when I was immature I sometimes used to look up drawn NSFW involving minor characters and m*stur*aited to it. And when I dropped out and few years passed I thought I just want to talk with people that aren't adults(usually teachers. I wanted to talk with same aged people) and I'm lacking of social skills I know I won't do this anymore. I behaved sexually to groups of younger people to get their attention There's even more, like I used to play some game as 14(15?) and there's 9 year old character then when the character gets hit it would sound like moan and I somehow got surprised? And enjoyed? And I got some f*tish then I remembered childhood talk I had(it was some sort of sexual talk and about sexual action) and did that action from talk I had to fulfill f*tish I wasn't doing it for it being childhood talk.. but still scary. I somehow assume that I'm not attracted to children sexually. But it's odd if I'm not too as I explained those mistakes. I'm very clearly sure that there's more. This isn't pocd doubt. I'm sure there's more. I'm exhausted on trying to get help and think about figuring out if I'm p It almost sounds useless to do this since I sounds like one. I'm confused if I am since I'm confused if I'm attracted but there's past mistakes that sounds like I am then I assume if I'm holding myself to stop being a p or I was in better unrealistic case Of course I do not have sexual urge towards children currently but... what is going on I'm trying to stop thinking about mistakes to figure out clearly but it's hard. It felt like genuine actions back then.. so I'm not only offending one. Then I think if I'm attracted to children. Somehow I can't understand attraction towards children but I feel like I do.. I'm trying to not test myself Without past mistakes I wouldn't really think that I'm p*do maybe but I know that's not how it works so it's all confusing And when I got pocd then pocd got calmed down I've eventually found some hentai that have same features to the talk I had with groomer (was a talk about fictional character I created) it was even after I got pocd and then as I felt better and less anxious about pocd topic I Read that. I thought pocd will go away real fast. I think I was thought I decided to read it for PRIZE for feeling better now I feel so horrible. What even I was thinking. I don't want to live anymore. I wouldn't like to read them again. I just feel confused and bad I think I was 17. I don't know what is this called but it's like I can't exactly figure out when did things happened and when was when.. the odd thing is that I think I'm p*do for this and other disgusting mistakes but before pocd I haven't worried if I'm attracted to children (especially real ones. Never been my thing but I consumed drawn nsfw so...)

I got an email recently from NOCD complaining about a recent SNL sketch that apparently made light of OCD, or at least those who may falsely claim to have it. I didn’t see it, but it doesn’t matter, it’s very disappointing to see that the NOCD members in charge of the messaging within emails don’t seem to comprehend that wanting comedians to stop making jokes about OCD is, in and of itself, a compulsion. The email should have encouraged people who suffer with OCD, such as myself, to ignore “triggering” content, practice ERP, and move on. I’m also really tired of the unhelpful Howie Mandel commercials where he complains about OCD jokes. You don’t get better by giving into any compulsions, including the desire to complain about a joke.

I spiral so much its usually 1. Those mistakes aren't from someone who is not a p 2. But am I really attracted to children? 3. I might be.. but if I don't think about my mistakes then I wouldn't think if I'm attracted to children 4. Well then I'm not a p*do And repeat I'm scared if I'm not changed person now. It's pretty clear that I didn't found I was one? The scariest thing is that I still made questionable mistakes when I got pocd. This makes me worry if they weren't mistakes but genuine actions coming from being a p then it makes me worry because they're usually permanent Basically when I was immature I sometimes used to look up drawn NSFW involving minor characters and m*stur*aited to it. And when I dropped out and few years passed I thought I just want to talk with people that aren't adults(usually teachers. I wanted to talk with same aged people) and I'm lacking of social skills I know I won't do this anymore. I behaved sexually to groups of younger people to get their attention There's even more, like I used to play some game as 14(15?) and there's 9 year old character then when the character gets hit it would sound like moan and I somehow got surprised? And enjoyed? And I got some f*tish then I remembered childhood talk I had(it was some sort of sexual talk and about sexual action) and did that action from talk I had to fulfill f*tish I wasn't doing it for it being childhood talk.. but still scary. I somehow assume that I'm not attracted to children sexually. But it's odd if I'm not too as I explained those mistakes. I'm very clearly sure that there's more. This isn't pocd doubt. I'm sure there's more. I'm exhausted on trying to get help and think about figuring out if I'm p It almost sounds useless to do this since I sounds like one. I'm confused if I am since I'm confused if I'm attracted but there's past mistakes that sounds like I am then I assume if I'm holding myself to stop being a p or I was in better unrealistic case Of course I do not have sexual urge towards children currently but... what is going on I'm trying to stop thinking about mistakes to figure out clearly but it's hard. It felt like genuine actions back then.. so I'm not only offending one. Then I think if I'm attracted to children. Somehow I can't understand attraction towards children but I feel like I do.. I'm trying to not test myself Without past mistakes I wouldn't really think that I'm p*do maybe but I know that's not how it works so it's all confusing And when I got pocd then pocd got calmed down I've eventually found some hentai that have same features to the talk I had with groomer (was a talk about fictional character I created) it was even after I got pocd and then as I felt better and less anxious about pocd topic I Read that. I thought pocd will go away real fast. I think I was thought I decided to read it for PRIZE for feeling better now I feel so horrible. What even I was thinking. I don't want to live anymore. I wouldn't like to read them again. I just feel confused and bad I think I was 17. I don't know what is this called but it's like I can't exactly figure out when did things happened and when was when.. the odd thing is that I think I'm p*do for this and other disgusting mistakes but before pocd I haven't worried if I'm attracted to children (especially real ones. Never been my thing but I consumed drawn nsfw so...)

I saw a shadowy figure in my peripheral vision & I AM SO SCARED. I am freaked out of developing schizophrenia- but my question is if I was - would I know the shadow I saw wasn’t real? If I was developing schizophrenia would I be freaked out of the shadow I saw or would I just believe it’s real?

When I first discovered OCD I felt like I was an exception and the anxiety and intense fear I had was just the overwhelming guilt you get after you realize how messed up your life is. Then I learned about what was actually going on and got some relief. And after a while I started ruminating more and more about and turns out what I did was NOT okay. I felt shame for it before that, but now I feel even more intense shame. I’ve been going through the same cycle over and over, being even more cautious of myself than ever. To note, since my event, I’ve NEVER done this afterwards in my life according to my memory and I was young when it happened, but not old enough to understand how serious it was. Since then, I’ve ruminated, compulsive searched, scanned over messages/conversations I’ve sent, look for forgiveness groups and felt like I’m just someone who’s actually shameful for what they did and afraid of consequences. What do you do with this? To me, I feel unforgivable, and my whole life is just an inconvenience to others.

This is the first time I have seen my boyfriend in a month because I have been so debilitated by OCD on top of everything else I struggle with that I isolated myself simply because it was easier. For the first hour, I felt great. Genuinely great. My head was clear, and I was able to just be myself, the real me, for a whole hour. Then the first obsession hit. After that, every other obsession came crashing down, one after another. Now I am standing in the Target bathroom, completely overwhelmed. It always hits me hardest when I am with him. I have realized that the reason I turn into a little compulsion machine around him is because I am so desperate to feel normal and enjoy our time together that the compulsions become even more tempting. I get anxious about being anxious around him, which turns my OCD from a background annoyance into a full-blown supervillain. It is unbelievably frustrating that this is ruining time with the love of my life, who is so understanding, but he should not have to deal with this hell. And yet I keep dragging him into it because I cannot seem to stop. I do not know what to do because I cannot even redirect my attention. I think I am managing it, only to realize I am still ruminating. Okay, I’m venting a bit, but does anyone have any tips? Even tiny ones or theoretical ones that might help make this more bearable?

Hi, my name is Nisha and I work at NOCD on our community efforts here. I’m incredibly passionate about destigmatizing mental health, and in particular OCD. Finding purpose in my career is extremely important to me too. I am truly grateful for the opportunity to work at NOCD, combining my desire to help others with impactful work to change the conversation around OCD. I truly believe in our mission to make effective, evidence-based treatment for OCD affordable and accessible. I just wanted to take a minute to introduce myself. I’m here to answer any questions you may have, connect with you, share a funny story here and there, occasionally provide my perspective, offer you support, lean back on you during those harder days and generally help however I can. Question for you - I know taking the first step toward getting help can feel like a big decision. If you’ve thought about it but maybe are scared, are on the fence about it or don’t feel ready, would you share more about it with me, if you feel comfortable?

I am In a 3 year old relationship. I did bad things towards my relationship with another guy we'll call S. I told my boyfriend everything and for months I'd go back and find new details and tell them to my bf and keep going to exhaustion.This S guy also molested me and blackmailed me. With this said, now I have to talk about my current issue. I'm 17. In class I see S everyday and I get irritated by him. I have thoughts like " what if I don't love my boyfriend?what if I see him as a friend? What if I love S?what if I want S?" And " S I hot" or like when I get ready " would S find me pretty?". I just wanna be with my boyfriend in peace and I don't wanna have these doubts at all or be attracted to anyone that's not my boyfriend. These thoughts are ruining my life. I'm scared they are true, I'm scared I secretly want him, I'm scared I find him pretty or whatever it is. It's been months and when I had something else to analyze I said with confidence that I found S ugly, but now that I "solved" that I'm back at this, figuring out if I find S hot if I want him or anything and it gives me anxiety. Because of these thoughts that persist for months I had panic attacks and tried to take my life before several times. I'm gonna see a therapist in 5 days. Can this be ocd? I just really want this all to stop and never see S again ever. Does someone have the same thoughts or the same experiences?

say something if you could, also seen him today :(

For years, I didn’t realize my fears and habits were OCD—I just thought I was doing what I had to do to feel “safe.” But by my 30s, OCD had taken over my life in ways I couldn’t ignore. I struggled with emotional contamination, especially involving a family member. If she came to my house, I would obsessively clean the bathroom after she used it, scrub the furniture to remove her energy, and even let sunlight in to “cleanse” the space. I obsessively deleted her text messages because I feared they might “contaminate” my phone. I loved her, but my fears left me hyper-focused on staying “pure” and unable to enjoy time with her. It was painful to not be able to be present with my loved ones, but I couldn’t escape the cycle. When the pandemic hit, everything spiraled. The uncertainty and isolation pushed me to my breaking point. I hit rock bottom and knew I couldn’t keep living like this. I finally started therapy, and in 2022, I found NOCD and began ERP therapy. At first, the process felt overwhelming. My therapist, Michelle, was calm and supportive but also firm—she refused to let me stay stuck in the cycle of compulsions. One of my most difficult obsessions was linked to that same family member. Through ERP, I learned to confront the fears I’d avoided for so long. It took over a year of hard work, but eventually, I reached a point where I could sit with her in the car or go shopping without obsessing about “cleansing” afterward. I was finally able to enjoy my time with her before she passed away. I am forever grateful that ERP allowed me to do so. ERP was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but it gave me my life back. I left an abusive relationship, started a career I love, and can now face uncertainty without fear controlling me. OCD doesn’t define me anymore. I want others to know that, while ERP is challenging, it’s worth it. You’re not alone, and recovery is possible.

Hi guys!!! Any tips how we can live with contamination ocd.. it is so bad that I don’t mind going through other themes.. somehow my falsehood ocd was better than contamination one.. I have a phobia of waste water carrier.. I think they r dirty stuff n contaminate everything .. one came to my place to pump the waste water .. and now I feel everything is contaminated.. I can’t sleep in my room today.. all clothes r dirty!! I see poop.. I smell it everywhere and everything is dirty Ik it is wrong but the fact that my dad gave handshake to the man and help out.. they are all behaving it’s normal.. my mom is sitting on her bed folding clothes despite being so close to the carrier.. when I told her she told me .. I should fear god cause my brother is dead and is rotting in the soil so why should I fear waste!!! My ocd makes me things of my dead brother so much that sometime I feel scared… if I see a skeleton .. my mind will instantly tell me that is my brother and I can’t see any movie where we have a skeleton.. My dad purposely touched my AirPods with his dirty hands.. my AirPods is my most fav things I got when I was studying in London.. I don’t know how to clean myself or everything or what should I do !!!!! Even part of my falsehood is telling me that my window was open when the carrier came m.. I want to wash everything.. curtains clothes and I don’t know what to so anymore!!!! Does anyone have any tips about how I can just cure the contamination ocd!!! Or funnily if I can shift to other themes.. Perhaps my family won’t understand me.. but I do know that the person working in that carrier is a human who has his family to feed.. I don’t ignore them or feel disgusted by them .. but my part of my brain is broken..it sees contamination everywhere.. I am so sorry if my post is hurtful to anyone or any profession.. I was never like this OCD just changed me and am ashamed af

How do I know if my thoughts are real or just ocd

I know I’m not alone on this but I really don’t know why I’m like this. I hate it, I hate overthinking so much. I care too much for everyone even people I don’t know. I especially overthink so so much in my relationship. People tell me “you have trust issues?” No I don’t know how to explain it. It’s not trust issues I just always need to be reassured 24/7 and I hate having to overthink Yk? I don’t know why I’m like this at all and I cry so easily because of how sensitive I am. I just wished I wasn’t this sensitive and such an over thinker.

does anyone else get INTENSE derealization (it’s the worse for me when i wake up from a dream in the middle of the night) and it’s so bad that it genuinely feels like nothing is real, not even thoughts are real, consciousness is not real, what the heck are we doing on a floating ball in the middle of darkness?? i feel like im in a simulation or a dream. i hate it sm ive had it everyday for 5 years, but tbh im not surprised it hasn’t gotten better because I have gone through some traumatic things recently and have had bad mental health. hopefully it could get better soon idk.

I'm not drowning in overwhelming anxiety anymore after starting medication, but I feel... off. There's still this lingering anxiety, but it's like it's blocked or something. I hate the sensation of it. I don't really feel like I'm living, just existing. I'm afraid internally, but I can't express it anymore or experience physical symptoms of that fear. I can't even cry, but I feel like I want to or need to :( Maybe things are just worse right now because I'm on my period, but I'm genuinely so tired. I don't know how recovery is going to be for me, and what if it's not enough? What if this doubt and guilt that surrounds my life doesn't go away? I'm just afraid because I enjoy living and I love my family, but every time I think about having to deal with this for the rest of my life, I get bad thoughts of ending things. I just want peace. I just want to be confident in my own identity for once.