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I posted recently on this app about my false attraction Someone told me to stop obsessing and you'll know whether they're really false..! it triggered me But when i tried to calm down and asked myself am I really attracted to girls i heard a voice YES..😓 Like i havent been professionally diagnosed with hocd And also im too young they say im just exploring.. but how??I've always been interested boysand i ve always had supportive background but i dont want to am into coming out process? Im going crazy now, cant feel anyting almost out of breaths...

Yesterday was a very difficult day. And today I woke up as if I had never experienced OCD. I kept asking myself, do I really have it? How come I don't have a single ounce of anxiety in my body today? I don't even have the patience to think about anything else. Is it normal to have days when you just don't care? Because it's not on purpose. I wanted to think about what happened, but it's like I don't want to do it?

I’m really scared that if I stop panicking about my thoughts, they will become real. Lately, I’ve been feeling irritated by my boyfriend, and sometimes I even think he annoys me or disgusts me. When these thoughts come, they feel so real, like I genuinely don’t want to be in this relationship anymore. And now I’m terrified that if I stop reacting with fear, it means I actually don’t want him, and I’ve just been in denial this whole time. What if the fact that I’m getting used to these thoughts means I’m actually accepting them as the truth? What if my fear was the only thing keeping me from realizing I don’t love him anymore? I’ve read about people saying that, with ROCD, thoughts lose their power over time, but I’m scared that in my case, that will just mean I’ll end up accepting something I don’t want to be true. On top of that, I had a situation where I noticed a guy at school, and my anxiety made me obsess over it. I remember seeing him last year and paying attention to how he dressed, which made me panic and think, ‘What if I like him?’ The thought wouldn’t leave my head, and I even thought about it at home, which made me feel guilty. Recently, I had to go to his classroom for a project with my teacher, and when I saw him, I felt like I got nervous or something. Now I’m terrified that I like him, and that it means I don’t love my boyfriend. I don’t even know his name, I don’t want to know, but my mind won’t stop obsessing over it. Meanwhile, my boyfriend told me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and that breaks my heart. I feel so guilty because I’m constantly thinking that I don’t like my boyfriend, and now my brain is telling me I like someone else. What if I’m only with my boyfriend because I don’t want to hurt him? What if I’m in denial? I just want to feel normal again. my boyfriend is amazing he dosent deserve this

hi this is my first post on here and I’m in desperate need for anyone to hear me out and offer support or advice or just about anything even though I’m fully aware reassurance is a nono A little about me : early 20s, straight female (my soocd would disagree lol) and mild to moderate autism I started seeing an ocd therapist a couple months ago and she was lovely. I was coming out of a difficult period of my life where I had stopped my ssri and that decision bit me in the ass because my ocd came back in full force (soocd, real event, pocd, rocd, pure ocd thoughts, statements, etc ) For the most part all of my themes have settled but today my rocd has struck so hard I can barely function, I’ve been a crying wreck all day feeling sick with shame and guilt over my fears with my bf and not finding him attractive all the time or when I notice other attractive men and sometimes I question if he is it for me because he is my first everything so I have nothing to compare to and all these thoughts are so overwhelming (even normal curiosity about dating other people freaks me out) I love him so much (at least i think i can never be 100% certain) and that’s what *obviously* scares me. No one here can tell me how I feel but I’m just so scared and the guilt and shame is eating me alive Another trigger of mine is the fact he wasn’t my type physically when we first met (we weren’t dating then) but overtime I started to like him a lot his personality complimented mine and he became attractive to me and I felt all the lovey feelings and excitement Essentially I’m scared I don’t really love him because if I truly did I wouldn’t notice or fixate on his physical flaws or the things he does or doesn’t do that bother me sometimes I try to think logically he probably has similar thoughts about me but doesn’t bat an eyelid Im just so tired and I can’t see my therapist till Friday :((

Hello there. I’m new here and think I may have OCD I’ve struggled with anxiety my whole life. However, in my early teens, I started experiencing obsessive fears and engaging in compulsions because my brain convinced me that if I didn’t perform a certain action a specific number of times, it would “prove” that I wanted something terrible to happen. When I was 17, I began seeing a therapist and opened up to her about this. She diagnosed me with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and I accepted the diagnosis But last night, I became curious about whether people with GAD engage in compulsions and have specific fears, so I looked it up. I was shocked to learn that these are not typical characteristics of GAD Now, I would love to find a therapist who specializes in OCD so I can get a formal diagnosis and the appropriate treatment

Finding this app has helped me a lot in feeling like I'm not isolated and I've definitely met so many kind and helpful people here. You guys have helped me on my darkest days. However, because of my fragile state of mind, I think scrolling on here is becoming a compulsion and I feel like I end up triggering myself more by scrolling through some posts. I think it just ends up adding more to my intrusive thoughts and more ammo for my false memories and POCD to latch on to. And I know exposures are good for treating OCD, but this level of exposure seems to be doing more harm than good. So I will try to be less active (maybe I won't, who knows lol).

I want to have a crush on Pennywise cause I just think he looks good character wise but people say his true form is female but the Robert gray is also supposed to be Pennywise which is male. I don’t want to have a crush on a female character eww. So I need someone’s help on the it lore I’m ruminating on this character cause I have a fictional crush on Pennywise and no one understands me. And the IT creature is supposed to be female so doesn’t that sadly mean the clown is female? SOS please send help

i just installed this app so i dont really know what im doing, but if you see this please reply: do i have ocd? when i was younger, i believe i had ocd, due to me have to do things a certain number of times, for example when i got in a car i would have to tap the chair in front of me at least 4(or an even amount) times or else i was just feel..incomplete? i dont know the name for this feeling, but it is very stressful. there were many others things i had to do like this. then after awhile this symptom went away until this past 2 years, but it is much worse. i still do the thing where i have to do things a certain amount of times, but now i also am just really afraid of things being out of order, not necessarily messy, but in a place which i dont rmeber where it is, and i dont trust my self if i did something, for example shutting a door behind me, i have to look back like 3 times to make sure i actually did it even thought i definitely did, but i just have to make sure or else i have the feeling of being incomplete. sometimes i have to shut jt over and over again. i make sure i do these little things such as putting one coin in my pocket everyday and if i forget it so stressful to me to the point of tears and breakdowns. this stuff makes me extremly stressed and sometimes i have to go back to harming myself to relieve this feeling, which isnt good, but its like the only thing i can do to solve it. there are many more things that i do that i think is ocd but the paragraph already long so just please let me know if this is ocd?

Hi NOCD community. I am a U.S. citizen living abroad and have been struggling to find online therapy that could explore topics such as intrusive thoughts and compulsions. I am not officially diagnosed with OCD but have considered seeing a Psychologist for about 3 years now. However, a lot of the therapists on here are only in America or Canada. Has anyone experienced or found a way to seek online therapy abroad? Also, what did the process of getting diagnosed look like? I am not seeking to “have” OCD. I’ve only been curious because if it was something I’m diagnosed with, it would answer a lot of questions I have about myself and my intrusive thoughts. They can be debilitating and harmful and I’m wanting to seek help. If you have any information let me know! Thank you 💓

TW// mention of pdf, Reddit Long post Feeling gross and icky. In the past I made an in detailed Reddit post about my pocd and trauma and sxual theme ocd including mas/turbaton as a compulsion. Anyways I had a full blown IN DETAIL convo with someone who progressively was being weirder but I ignored red flags because people with ocd sometimes talk as if they are criminal and like what ocd throws at them, I’ve seen it on here on NOCD with people who vent . Anyways I was relating to them from an ocd standpoint, they immediately mentioned they do not want to do these things etc. also mentioned rocd and asked if they had a partner and had normal feelings and still was able to have sx with them normally but still had pocd and it make things weird. and eventually as convo went on once they said something that I couldn’t ignore and was actually in my face that they were a pdf I stopped responding …. I think I blocked them but then they deleted their account as a whole. Everytime I re read , I can understand what im saying from an ocd standpoint, but a PDF reading my msgs would think I agree with them, and I think that’s what he thought, and was sortve maneuvering around what I was saying until he saw that I actually was weirded out cause after he said something weird about controlling himself I said wym? He explained that’s when I stopped responding. That’s when he disabled. There’s so many msgs im reading where I shouldve just STOPPEDDDDD RESPONDINGGG. I was just trying to talk about ocd and my own experiences and didn’t just want to assume he was a pdf bc I’ve heard it all on here NOCD and still thought the person had ocd and wasn’t a pdf I just feel terrible. Like a P enabler. I guess all I can say is maybe maybe not. I stopped responding bc I felt uncomfortable and that he was an actual p. If me continuing in convo for longer than I should’ve bc now im uncomfortable looking back on it, then I can just take that as don’t continue a convo that ur trying to dismiss as being uncomfortable… Don’t try to excuse weird things people are saying because you want to be open minded and not judge.

There’s something that happens that keeps me stuck in a thought, it’s when I can see some part of myself agreeing with or relating to it in some way. That’s when the doubt creeps in. If I can understand *why* the thought is there, doesn’t that mean it’s not just random? Doesn’t that mean it actually reflects something about me? For example **(TMI/TW)**: I had the thought, *“I wonder what other people’s kinks are (including friends, family, even teenagers).”* And then I caught myself thinking, *“Well, I guess that could be interesting information… maybe I wouldn’t even stop someone from sharing it with me. Does that mean I actually want to know? Wait—does that make me perverted or incestuous for even having this curiosity?”* The same thing has happened with other thoughts, like wondering what someone’s privates might look like. I recognize that, on some level, that could be interesting—but does that mean the thought is truly mine? Maybe the answer is super obvious and I just can’t see through my OCD smoke. This was a bit embarrassing for me to write 🥲, but can anyone provide some insight?

Whenever I have a non flirtatious, friendly interaction with a male my brain accuses me of cheating. I go into a full panic attack until I tell my husband then it goes away Same thing with intrusive thoughts. I'll have a random sexual thought about someone and my brain tells me that since I thought that it must be what I wanted and accuses me of cheating. Sometimes these thoughts come with actually physical feelings of what intruded. Thoughts of "what would it be like .." but I stop myself and then freak the flip out. With erp am I just supposed to let the sexual thoughts or accusations play out in my head?! It's excruciatingly painful. Also if I sit there and give into a sexual thoughts paired with the "mood" feelings how is that not mentally cheating 😵‍💫

TW: people being okay without me. Only read if you are doing really well! I got triggered earlier and now I'm kinda just thinking about how people don't need me. If I wasn't around, my friends and family would continue life like normal.

I’m on my period and o think my ocd feels a little worse today… I feel anxious and like something bad is about to happen, like I can’t move or talk cause I’ll freak out or snap and do something. Also I had a gronial response about an SA topic and I feel horrible, I’ve noticed that I do have these gronials as if I’m actually into that but idk if it can happen that you have the gronial and think “oh I’m horny, not about this but I am” is that possible? Idk how to say it… also I think I just want reassurance but I’m also scared…

Tw Tw Tw Tw Tw So obviously that person earlier has blocked me which whatever fine I think it’s the same person from months ago still seeking reassurance but I keep thinking I’m as bad as the person who caused them harm because I probably seemed callous and I’m basically saying oh well that … that stuff happened that person … I wasn’t trying to be rude but assuming it’s the same person they have been posting the same post under different accounts for months and we have all given advice and some people reassurance but it wasn’t good enough … so now I feel bad and I feel just as responsible as the person who hurt them … but at the same time it’s like they don’t want to get help in a sense… they blocked me after they said they couldn’t receive help but I mean there’s free hotlines out there … I mean I don’t know I just feel like trash and reassurance for myself won’t do crap but now I’m stuck in what if I pushed them over the edge

When recovered from a theme, will the doubt still sort of linger? I don't think I'm anywhere near recovered, but I've been doing a lot better. There's times when I still doubt whether it is or isn't OCD, though, and I'm wondering if that ever goes away? Recently, my thoughts always seem to wander in that direction, and it's bothering me :(

Does anyone else fear that when they beat their theme, just the thought of discussing it again will somehow cause a relapse? I fear that once I conquer my existential theme I’ll end up talking about it and then all the fear will come back.

I have bad dreams, weird dreams, normal dreams. I dream about everything I can think of, watch or read. I wake up with panic attacks from the dreams every night and it’s hard to go back to sleep. I’ve talked to my psychiatrist, I may start a medication to help with it anxiety and depression but I just can’t stop thinking negative and I’m terrified of falling asleep. This has been going on for a month now. A month without any good sleep. I feel so tired and afraid of this. I don’t know how to make my brain stop. I’ve seen my cardiologist and even a sleep specialist the past few days and they said it’s more likely anxiety. I’m losing my mind. How do I shut my mind off? Am I going crazy? What is this? I want to sleep. Psychiatrist thinks I have a combination of everything. This is affecting my life in ways I didn’t know it was possible. I can’t stop crying. What can I do?

I don’t understand why I don’t feel happy, why my mind keeps making me think so negatively about him. Nothing makes me feel joy anymore. I keep thinking that he’s stupid, that I don’t like him, and when he speaks kindly to me, I feel nothing. The worst part is that I feel completely numb, like I have no emotions at all. And that makes me think that maybe I really don’t like him, that I will eventually reach a point where I realize my worst fear is true. I keep fighting with him because of my attitude. I treat him badly, and I know it’s because of my thoughts. I can’t see the good in anything. Today, he told me that I would be better off without him because I always seem so sad. He moved to my city for university just to be with me, and instead of making his life better, I feel like I’m making it worse. The thoughts don’t stop, even when I’m with him. I see people posting about how they feel calm when they’re with their partners, but I don’t. I can’t look at him without having intrusive thoughts, and I can’t even kiss him. Today, he told me that he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, that I treat him poorly. I am constantly afraid because I feel nothing when he says things to me, because I don’t feel like I care. When I look at pictures of us from when I was in a better place, I feel like I was a completely different person. I start thinking that I’ve “matured” and that’s why I don’t feel anything anymore—like maybe I only liked him because I was young and naïve. Everything he does and says irritates me, but he loves me. What if I’m only with him because I don’t want to hurt him? What if I’m just used to him? I feel scared all the time. I don’t understand what’s happening. He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place . He keeps trying to apply logic, but it doesn’t work on me. So many times, he has tried to make me feel better, to tell me that I still care about him and that I don’t need to feel love all the time. But my heart breaks when I see how attached he is to me while I feel like I don’t feel the same way. I feel like I’m hurting him, and I don’t know how to get out of this dark place

TW!! I’m not doing well i dont know what’s real and what’s not so basically i get really really bad disturbing sexual thoughts abt family unfortunately and it feels so real and OCD makes me think I want or like the thoughts and sometimes family members touch me which sounds weird but I mean like on my arms and stuff I start laughing and smiling and I get rlly frustrated like I literally start to laugh and smile and grin and stuff and it makes me think i want these thought even more anyways so I purposely started to think of harm OCD intrusive thoughts to try and counter the ones I’m dealing with which ik it sounds like a compulsion but at least it’s working a bit and so I’m worried I don’t feel disturbed by these thoughts and I have no anxiety around them and I want to go to a mental ward but “my condition isint serious enough ” aghhhh