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I'm going through a rough time. I used to think medication would brighten my world, but if anything, it's muted it. The physical anxiety is less, and I felt okay(ish) for a while, but things are getting bad again. I'm so afraid I'll never get to a point where I feel safe in my body and in my mind. Today is the first day I've cried in... I don't know how long. But I didn't feel the relief I thought I would. Initially, I did, but it morphed into dread, and now I'm sitting by myself, trying not to panic. I really want to begin seeing a therapist for OCD, but I don't know how much my insurance covers. There's just so much on my mind right now. A whole bunch of old themes are resurfacing. I wish I could've been given a different path in life. I'm trying to stay strong. It's just really difficult. I feel like I'm being sent back to square one :(

My OCD has been terrible the for the past two weeks. I have a fear that I will never be able to get out of the thought loop. I am hyper aware of my thoughts and it disturbs me. I haven’t been able to eat for 10 days. I force myself. I haven’t been able to sleep for more than a couple hours. Then I wake up and ruminate for a couple hours, until I’m exhausted. I’m also afraid I’ll never sleep well again. And I’m afraid I’ll never eat and enjoy my food again. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to stop thinking about this enough to enjoy my family ever again.

Idk if im the only one but I've literally just been holed up in my bedroom for the past 3 months and have barely gone out especially in the last 2. I'm too scared to leave and interact with people normally because I feel like a criminal and like someone who doesn't deserve to be around others. But in the same breath, I'm starting to hate my bedroom. It just feels like all my negative emotions are being bottled up and stored in here. I keep telling myself I should go out and take a walk and maybe it will feel better to just be out in the fresh air. But also don't want to because I'm quite lethargic on top of not eating that much either. Just feeling... stuck.

So I was enjoying some “me time” and had intrusive thoughts, but it felt like just for a second I liked it. Like I’m holding myself back from “enjoying” the thought. And the thoughts are related to things I was into when I was younger, but sometimes I feel like I might still like it even though 9/10 I wouldn’t give it a second thought. Is this common? Or is this just denial? Thanks

How to stop overthinking my boyfriend is cheating? He’s cheated before yes.. only once!! (not physically cheating BUT Cheating is cheating I get it)…. I’m still trying to heal and not be so insecure and self doubting myself like I did something wrong or that I’m not enough.. he hasn’t done it again since that day but I still overthink and still feel like I need to check through his social media accounts but I still have this fear but it’s like I know he’s not?? Idk if this makes sense I just need some friendly advice!! Please be respectful!! ❤️‍🩹 I want me and partner to move forward but I constantly keep thinking about it.. that was the one bad thing he’s did in our relationship..we’ve been together for almost two years

I have had ocd for decades! Could I still be cured???? (Of you can call it that?) I have seen different therapists but it never had fully left me...not by any stretch of the imagination. I do want to be free of this ocd and its power over me and all the bad that it brought into my life!!! Some days I am strong and feel like I am fighting it put other days...many days...I don't get things done or if I do I take a long time to-do the things I need to get done. I feel like I know this is just then ocd stopping me and that these are just thoughts but nobody in my family understands and though they have shared my journey and hated it a I do.....it just feels like I want so bad to be the best person I coukd be but I avoid places, people, things, that have any reminder of my ocd.......and so it restricts me from getting better and completing tasks the way I used to. Now UI might go and make 2-3 trips cuz I am worried to shop at a place and therefore it takes my time up. The avoidance I do is bad! When I actually don't listen to my ocd and don't avoid something...I feel great! ,However, it happens so rarely!!! I.dont know how finding a therapist through NOCD will help me. It is not in person and two be honest I almost think I need medicine to push me along. I don't have anybsteady and consistent improvements. However, I don't think I want to be on medication for the rest of my life! I am very confused!

Anyone else feel that when they aren’t experiencing a theme that their ocd is almost non existent. It almost makes me feel like I’ve been faking it, and also makes me feel ridiculous for obsessing over things. I feel sorry for myself :/ I know that my themes are valid and felt very real in the moment, but after I “get over” them I just can’t believe that I was obsessing over something that either wasn’t true or didn’t apply to me. I would also like to know how to prevent themes from reoccurring. Health, religion and existential OCD themes tend to take turns throughout my life, I just didn’t know that was it ocd. Trying to break the cycle.

i was in target and saw this kid who looked like my nephew and i didn’t a double take because i thought it was him i was gonna go say hi to him. it wasn’t him, but then my OCD intrusive thoughts popped in and made me want to throw up and run away and hide. it popped in my brain and i was immediately disgusted with myself. i wouldn’t ever do anything to harm a child. WHY IS MY BRAIN LIKE THIS I JUST NEED A BREAK.

Im just wondering…how many hours a day do you spend thinking about your fear. I spend around 3-9 hours or sometimes more thinking about sexual orientation but i still doubt that i have hocd. I feel like im just in denial and im so scared.

Earlier I posted about trying to get back to sitting on my sofa without a blanket covering it. And I did it, but now my day has been ruined. I left for two seconds and my cat decided to sit there, so now it's not clean anymore. This is because sometimes she's had number two stuck to her and no longer trust that she's clean. It took so much for me to just do that and sit without a blanket and now I'm just so done. I'm also scared to walk anywhere in my house. We sometimes get slugs in our conservatory and I don't walk in there anymore because there can be slug slime trails (it's carpet). The thing is, my mum regularly goes in there, my dad too. And then they proceed to walk around the rest of the house without changing shoes or anything. I'm just panicking because I was having a good day and now I feel like I'm isolated to my bedroom.

I don’t know what I can do. I guess this is more of a depression thing than OCD but who knows. I have been battling this ongoing war within myself for years now and it’s been affecting my academic performance. situation of mine right now: I haven’t done a lot of work for my classes this month and I feel like I’m going to fail the semester again. I don’t know what it is but I can never seem to begin any work. I know I am capable but why can’t I get myself to start? why has this been going on for so long? I don’t understand. I have a history of good grades back in high school before I turned 17. I don’t even know how to describe it. it’s like I’ve been paralyzed and cannot do any work. but I can somehow do offside tasks like pinterest boards or random youtube videos. if I get rid of those, what do I do? I end up sleeping. because I’m tired. I have a low vitamin D deficiency & have been trying to get energy. I’m at a loss. I also bought unnecessary stuff on sunday when I went out with my family. I bought some things for the kids and I ended up buying myself a dress and a few accessories. now I have to work extra to gain that money back doing uber eats because I need it asap. it’s like I don’t want to work, for now. my coworkers who are around my age don’t work as much & I think to myself, “wow, they must be getting in the work done” meanwhile I’m working 3 days a week (which isn’t much) and attending school. I feel like if I change my schedule again, I’ll ruin it for the rest of my driver coworkers. I’m in a lead position at work so having to put on a mask is quite tiring. there’s so much I want to say that I don’t think it will fit in this post. I have booked a mental health session with a school counselor. all I want at the moment is to have my own place and be in a better mental state to take care of my cats. they mean a lot to me but this stupid ass undiagnosed mental issue is getting in the way. sorry for the long rant. I am tired.

So I’m so bored lately I have everything I want and could ask for but I’m a dopamine junkie so I jump from item to item and I’m still bored and I have “toys “ stay with me I’ll explain … so I have actual toys like dolls and stuffed animals because I still enjoy younger things at times … yep I’m still an adult … but that being said I won’t “play “ or interact with younger toys because I feel it’s not age appropriate and I want to fit in with society’s norms … that being said I have a Xbox s I have a Nintendo switch … a legion go hand held system … a portable dvd player and I’m sure other things I can’t remember… no I don’t act like a spoiled brat and want or need for everything and I’m very grateful…. But that being said out of all the things I have nothing really keeps my attention I just impulse buy them… I obsess about buying them for months I buy them and use them for a little bit and get bored …… then I feel ungrateful for not using an expensive item or gift.:. Go back and use that item and then the cycle repeats … I just can’t find anything that truly keeps me entertained and engaged … and keeps me wanting to fool with it every day or interact with it …. I want to find something that gives me a sense of accomplishment and excitement… and game systems and whatever else just don’t do that for me … like I said I promise I’m not a spoiled adult /brat ❤️

I’ve been thinking a lot about how OCD changes the way we see ourselves, but I recently realized that I am not my thoughts. Just because a thought pops up doesn’t mean it’s true or that it defines me. I’ve started learning how to see OCD for what it is—just a disorder trying to trick me—and I’ve become stronger in dealing with it. Has anyone else here had a similar realization? How do you handle these thoughts when they show up?

so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.

I am extremely nervous for my first session with a NOCD therapist. I feel myself tapping and counting more, what if he doesn’t like me? What if I’m not open enough? What if I talk too much? What if I tell things I don’t want to tell. Is this the right platform for OCD/ROCD ? Can’t sleep.

17f Just like the title says. I came to realization that I lost a whole year of life. I remembered my real event in the end of january of 2024. Since then my life has been a living hell. Also kinda made a couple new smaller events through this year. And I know I deserve it cause my event was actually bad. Even people without ocd on reddit agree it was bad. It's still ocd, but I deserve it probably. For this whole year I haven't had a day when I wouldn't think of it. It became my default state to constantly have it on my mind. I walked around, pretended to have fun, talked to people. Most of the time I wasn't really there, I was thinking about my event. My event haunts me when I'm awake, when I'm asleep. I spend this whole year either freaking out, being depressed, thinking on methods to off myself, ruminating, seeking reassurance or trying to distract myself with books, TV shows, social media or daydreaming. Literally barely engaged with reality. So it's so hard to believe a whole year passed... I can barely remember anything that happened during this year. I can't believe this is my life. Probably doesn't really matter cause I don't plan on staying there that long. There is no way I'm going to experience piece with myself. So I will be out in a year or so, since my plan requires some time. Finally will end it all. It just feels very weird. A whole year passed. I was so deep down in my head I didn't even notice. It's scary.

I have been treating OCD for 25 years, which started at a postdoctoral fellowship at the St. Louis Behavioral Medicine Institute in the Center for OCD and Anxiety Disorders. I am a member of the Scientific and Clinical Advisory Boards of the International OCD Foundation, and I am a Fellow of the Association for Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies. People who are struggling with their OCD are stuck - they are being tricked by their OCD which triggers their Fight, Flight, or Freeze response. When this occurs, it "feels so real." We have been trained our whole life to believe that when we feel that level of fear we are in danger. OCD can hijack this system and trick people into believing they are in significant danger when, in reality, they are just experiencing a thought, image, or urge. But, it does not just rely on fear. OCD can also use shame, guilt, disgust, and any other emotion necessary to get someone to do a compulsion. I have been known to say this - will you spend the rest of your life next to your tombstone wondering when you will be under it, or will you live your life and arrive at your tombstone on the day of your death and say, "Well, that was fun"? OCD wants you to live in fear, telling you that you can achieve something that is not achievable - certainty. So, instead of living the life you want, you live the life that OCD wants you to live. When people decide that OCD is full of lies, and take that first step toward learning that they can live with what OCD says while not believing what OCD says, they can start to get better. Helping people take that first step is one of the best things I have had the honor to do in my career. What made you take your first step to get the help you need? Or what’s holding you back? Ask me anything!

From the age of 10, I’ve had all kinds of frightening thoughts taking over my mind. Tell me about a disease, and I’d be on WebMD and Discord, researching symptoms because I was afraid I had it. For a while I even walked around with a heart rate monitor, a pulse oximeter, and other equipment, because I was terrified that my heart might beat too fast—and maybe give out. I would tell people, I feel like I’m possessed. Like there’s someone else in the driver’s seat of my brain. It was a lonely life, because I didn’t know anyone else who was struggling with these things the way I was. Now, at 26, I know it wasn’t simple anxiety and that I have obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), though I didn’t get the right diagnosis for many years—after all, my experiences didn’t match the symptoms most people associate with the condition. But my diagnosis is what changed everything. It allowed me to find the treatment I needed to thrive with OCD. Something I used to hear a lot when I shared my fears was that I was really creative. I’d tell my family about my thoughts and they would say, ‘Oh, you have such a big imagination.’ I have to say: man, that was not it. I had a disorder. I connected with NOCD, and my life changed. My NOCD Therapist explained these weird thoughts and superstitions weren’t me —they were symptoms of OCD, and they didn’t mean anything about who I am. That was a revelation. I spent a really long time not understanding what intrusive thoughts were. I didn’t even know the term ‘intrusive thoughts.’ But at NOCD I was learning that I’m not in control of every thought that I have. This was so pivotal to managing my OCD, learning that you can’t control everything that enters your mind—you can only change your reaction. I’d love to hear about your experiences with Health OCD. Drop your stories and questions below. I’ll respond live in the comments today at 4pm CT!

im going to be vague here, but basically i did something in the past that i regret and it became a huge point of my OCD but i have talked to my therapist and i have mostly moved past it. i watched a video by an OCD youtuber that really put it into perspective. anyway, i have been with minimal worry for a few days, but now im having worries related to i think false memory? basically it’s like “oh but what if i said/ did this and just forgot that means i harmed this person im a bad person”. to me it sounds like textbook OCD but im just wondering if anyone else has experienced false memory / real event at the same time. i have a really horrible memory which is making it even more stressful. any responses are appreciated!

I’m starting NOCD. I had several years of cbt as a child (well over 20 years ago) and I see a trauma therapist. But now I’ll be seeking further help for OCD and just really scared. CBT wasn’t helpful for me. How has ERP been helpful for you? Do you feel like you’ll finally get your life back? I’m consumed by my obsessions 😢 Would love others feedback if ERP helped you ❤️