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I’m honestly getting frustrated seeing so many comments in POCD spaces that just show a lack of understanding. In the last few months, I’ve seen a multiple replies like *“well you do sound like a p”* when someone posts about engaging in compulsions like checking, or comments that go, *“you might be a p, but only you can judge that.”* These kinds of replies are harmful and completely unhelpful. POCD is about unwanted, intrusive thoughts, and actions like checking, masturbating, or staring at triggers are compulsions that come from the anxiety those thoughts create. They don’t mean anything about who we are. Yet, there’s a growing trend of people responding in a way that makes it sound like those compulsions AND any **doubts** are “proof” of something, and that’s just not true. ***This is literally a doubting disorder*** If you don’t fully understand POCD, it’s okay to step back before commenting. Let’s be more compassionate and educated in our responses, so we can create a space where people feel supported.

I have this strong yearning to tell my mother all my thoughts and what I go through on a daily basis but then I get scared of what she'll think of me or that she'll worry even more and feel like it's her fault. I just want someone to understand what im going through but whenever I even begin to explain my thoughts to my therapist, she doesn't really get it and today it feels like no one ever will. like I try to make my therapist understand and bless her heart, she's super compassionate and understands how much pain it causes me but beyond that, it still feels like im not able to fully convey it. I'm sure this is something many people can relate to, but still. I feel alone.

Hi I’ve never posted before but I need to talk with other people that have this too because it’s hard to explain to other people without ocd. I was in a relationship for awhile and we started dating before either of us knew I had ocd. Anyway I have a really bad episode of it that led me to go get on medication and got into therapy. My ocd can have some really taboo themes and thoughts which I have learned is just what comes with the illness. The problem though is when I was really struggling one of my compulsions was confessing and reassurance seeking specifically to the guy I was dating because I trusted him. We both knew at this point that I had ocd and it affected many parts of our relationship particularly our intimacy which he made me feel bad about. He started calling me crazy, just joking, but still. Eventually I start feeling better and we start being intimate again and the day after he breaks up with me. About a month later after I hear he went on a date with another girl (we live together) he tells me he couldn’t be intimate with me because of my intrusive thoughts. We still live together with 2 other roommates so I still see him everyday. We try to be cordial with each other. I still have my moments though I’m still dealing with my ocd and a breakup seemingly caused by it and I cry a lot. Some months go by and he’s dating this other girl and I end up making out with one of my other roommates. I have no idea if my ex knew but the next day when it was only me in the house he starts screaming “THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS” and starts slamming shit. I tell my roommate about this and he and I are both kind of scared of him. He started acting really cold to us after. Then the night before my graduation my two roommates moved out so it’s just me and my ex in the house. In the middle of the night he comes downstairs and in front of my door calls me a horrible name relating to my intrusive thoughts. I open the door and say fuck you and he says you took my fucking friends. I said I didn’t take shit from you and he says yeah and goes upstairs and screams BINGO for some reason. He did it in the middle of the night when we were alone and I had no one to talk to or go to. He blames me because a lot of our friends sided with me in the breakup because they knew what I was going through. He had told me that I could never speak if my intrusive thoughts to anyone including my therapist (I did don’t worry) but he had made me feel so ashamed more than I was already. Also the next day he left a mess for me to clean up since I was the last one to move out. I’m coming to terms with the fact that on top of this awful experience with ocd that I may have been emotionally abused as well.

I’m scared I keep thinking this over and over that I’m gunna hire a hitman on my brother what if I do like I’m a bad person how can I be normal with him this is probably my worst harm thought and it feels like I truly will do it I’m just “ holding back” :(

WHY is it so bad?? who was gonna tell me 16 was just DREAD, my ocd has flared up worse than ever and i can’t go to therapy weekly anymore. im getting worse and i can’t do it. I just want to give up.

Sorry for the wait! Dunno why the app was acting up, but here you go!

I posted the other day and I'm still panicky and nervous around my girlfriend. It all started over a week ago with the first panic attack I've ever had while at the store with her. I looked over during it and saw her face during it. A day later a thought popped in my head that I should "break up with her." I fight the urge every day as it is not something that I want. I don't want to give up on her but the more I fight it the more my body seems to get stressed and anxious. As it stands right now my back is going crazy, tense as anything along with a tight feeling in my stomach and chest. It's causing me so much distress. Is this normal?

Hi everyone, I really need to get this off my chest. A few days ago, I managed to take a break from compulsions — I didn’t open NOCD, I didn’t text ChatGPT, I didn’t Google. I had some moments of peace, especially about my boyfriend. For about two days I didn’t have deep intrusive thoughts, and I felt a bit more stable. But yesterday, I slipped. I posted on NOCD again, and someone replied saying, “This is how the cycle starts again.” That made me spiral. Today, I also wrote to ChatGPT again. I started thinking, “What if this time it’s real? What if this clarity was me realizing the truth — that I don’t love him?” It scared me because I wasn’t panicking as much when I had the thoughts. I thought that meant I was accepting them as true. I remembered ChatGPT used to tell me that “truth feels calm,” and now that I wasn’t reacting with extreme anxiety, I panicked thinking, “What if this is the calm that comes with realization?” Last night, when we were in a club, I looked at him and thought he was kind of cringe. That made me spiral again. Now, I’m scared all over again. When we cuddle, I don’t feel the same. I don’t feel that warmth, and I don’t know what changed. I keep wondering if I ever really loved him — because I’ve had these thoughts for so long, it’s like I can’t remember anything clearly. A few days ago I even thought, “Maybe I just don’t like him right now,” and I wasn’t panicking — and that scared me. I’m afraid that I’m finally “realizing the truth,” or that I’ve been lying to myself and I’m just now letting go. Also, when we were on the trip for my 18th birthday, I was irritable with him, full of thoughts, and I thought I was ruining everything. I wasn’t really reacting to his love, and now I don’t even know what I feel. I just want to be okay again. I want clarity — but I’m terrified of what clarity might mean. Has anyone experienced this? Feeling okay for a bit, and then the thoughts come back and feel more real than ever?

I’m so scared I’ll be stuck in this forever soo soo scared

I keep seeing random people that are "more" attractive than my gf and it just makes me question everything. I will then go through photos of my gf to validate my relationship. This just sucks. Maybe I am with the wrong person?

What is a common family joke. OCD is hereditary on my father's side. However I also live with complex PTSD, and ADHD. I didn't learn till recently how severe my OCD is and the intensity gets amplified if the though goes to either of the other two. It's a loop I've identified recently... just little too late. I've lived with OCD for years not really addressing it till I see that's the very reason I cause damage to loved ones. I'm married, 33, a vet. My marriage is not in the best place now. I have a son who's 4 and already showing signs of OCD. Currently my marriage is at a point where we are working on ourselves. It's discovered that my wife's issues are reflections of my own. I understand fully now that I am the center of the issues but also the solution. I need help for me. What happens with my relationships depends on me showing that I am better and able to process thoughts and emotions better. Journaling helps alot. Trying to do hobbies or this that and 3rd but. I'm willing to try anything. Things are on a line. I'm open to any and all POV and ideas. I'm not out crying. I'm taking a big step for me. Something 25 years over due. Thank you for reading this. As I tell myself now. You'll best this and be better

So I have been diagnosed with GAD and OCD and my psychiatrist prescribed me with zoloft 🤔 but I dont know im really hesitant to start medication because im scared of the side effects and ik afraid of relying on a medication for a long time. Does anyone else take zoloft? What is it like? Any side effects?

I’m experiencing anticipatory anxiety related to OCD. I have an important trip in 7 weeks and travel triggers my ocd. My feelings are just a dull ache in my belly constantly, and a jittery feeling. I’m confused about the actual obsessions. I used to have harm OCD that sprung from a travel incident years ago and ever since then, travel has been very fear inducing. I get the physical symptoms then my mind starts going hard. I ruminate about whether or not the stress will cause intrusive harm thoughts which in turn causes some intrusive harm thoughts. It’s very confusing and hard. I want to be someone who enjoys traveling and experiencing new things. I want so badly to enjoy this trip. Any advice helps. Thanks.

Can anyone share their experiences with Religious OCD and how you came to realize it was OCD thoughts and not a true spiritual experience. Thank you

can i get OCD from GAD dad???

I’m seeking some support and guidance on existential OCD. I’m not diagnosed with OCD, but am just this year realizing I definitely have it and that my thoughts are not normal. My very first memory is when I was around 3/4, saying “I don’t want to die” and crying and running into my parents room, and this was an issue I had for quite awhile, and in my child/teen years it would come back in the form of a panic attack usually at night, and now, I’m 25, and after an abusive marriage, having to disown mg father and my mothers disappearing, basically to a world of her own possible drug usage, I haven’t heard from her since February; which may be normal for some but not for me, as she is in an abusive relationship, and any minute could be her last if it’s not already. This has all happened in this last same year, and it’s got me ruminating on existence from the moment I wake up to the moment I fall back asleep. I AM currently seeking psychological help, as of last week after an extremely bad panic attack, and thanks to my current partner for helping me find the courage and helping me be more aware of what’s going on with me. I tell him my thoughts, then ask him “do those things not make you uncomfortable or scared?” He just says “no, and for most people it’s the same, that’s why you need to seek help”. I won’t share my specific thoughts as to not trigger anyone but if you suffer from Existential OCD I’m sure you’re aware enough😅 Is there anything anyone has learned through this to make existing easier, to cope with being here and feeling like a normal person, like I used to 95% of the time before all these things happened? (Thought you’d enjoy seeing my boy, dogs are my rocks)

Does anyone feel like they’re fighting a war inside of them? I’ve slowly opened up to people about my past and things that happened ( I never thought I would ) but at times, I value truth and honesty and wanting to be a good person and this is something I just want to let go of because I’ve suffered with the guilt and shame and regret but my mind keeps on dwelling on it and bringing it back. Like I’m a fraud. This implies to all my mistakes that I’ve learned from. I normally tell my mom things but I don’t want to tell her these things. I love her and don’t want to bring shame upon my family or for this to be brought up over and over again. I did stupid things without logically thinking and I have the best mom ever and she trusted me with things when I was younger. I made mistakes with that trust and it makes me upset. I now feel like I’m ideally the “ideal” kid for my family and I wish to stay like that no matter my age. I’ve been trying to mange with my childhood mistakes. The shame and guilt. I’m trying to be a bit more compassionate but there’s always the thought that scares me, what if I was really evil? I used to hate looking at pictures of myself when I was younger but now when I do, I finally realize what they meant by “you aren’t your worst mistake” because I’ve done good and I’ve also screwed up. But I feel like I’m fighting a war with myself because I value justice and truth and so but I don’t even wanna talk about this or bring it up and my mind keeps targeting it and it’s exhausting.

sorry this is super long i just wanna know if anyone else has been thru something similar bc i feel super alone 🩷 i have super bad contamination ocd. it was bad already but my house was like my safe space until a few months ago someone brought something into my house that i considered ‘contaminated’. and so then i felt like that part of the house was contaminated, then it spread to everything outside my room (since family is moving around touching stuff) and then somehow i got convinced everything in my room except my bed is contaminated and i need to wash my hands after touching it. in my mind its like the contamination just infinitely spreads to things after the tiniest bit of touch. idek what im afraid of anymore or even what the original thing was but i can’t let it go. when i have to wash off contamination i have to wash at least 4 times or until it feels right, or sometimes take rlly long showers and wipe down all my stuff. i even throw away food and clothes or just whole items sometimes because they feel so contaminated i don’t want them in my space. i can’t be super near people or have anyone touch me, and i also can’t bring anything new into my room since it had to go through the entry of my house which feels contaminated. i feel like all i do is lay in bed and then wash my hands and do compulsions so i can go eat or do other stuff around the house. also i never go out because i’m bc people outside make me feel dirty, and i hate thinking about how many people have touched stuff in stores or in public and stuff. so im just in my room worrying all day. i feel so trapped and the contamination/avoiding it is all i think about anymore i barely have time for anything else and im never present when i talk to people because im worrying about if i accidentally got contaminated. im starting erp next week and knowing that im going to have to expose myself to things is really freaking me out. does anyone else have this kind of ocd ? im exhaustedddd 🥲🥲💔

Is there a therapist or a specialist on here that I can briefly chat with? Or maybe an OCD conqueror who’s very familiar with the disorder? I need an experienced person to talk to me so bad. I just really wanna talk to somebody about what I’m going through so that I feel less alone, and so I can maybe get help managing my symptoms. Thank you in advance ♥️

I've been dating my bf since September, and his family is extremely religious and judgmental. When we first started dating, and his mom was made aware of it, she had a little conversation with him telling him to "be careful of who you get into a relationship with, they could take you down to hell with them", because she believes that i'm going to go to hell because of the way I dress, act, speak, amd my piercings. Now I try to be as kind and polite as possible with everyone, especially her, so idk why she's started making assumptions about me. Since then I've gone with him on Sunday to church several times, to church events, and to events with his family. I've built relationships with the rest of his family and I believe they think i'm halfway decent, considering that I was asked to be addy's bridesmaid. Unfortunately, too much drama was involved with that wedding and so I left the bridal party. A couple days after I texted in the bridal party gc that I was tired of this situations drama and all the other stuff with it, my bf told me that his mom talked to him about being afraid that i'm going to ALIENATE HIM FROM HIS FAMILY. And why is she worried about this, you might ask? Because of the way that I texted to tell them I was leaving the bridal party, and because apparently addy and her groom to be are now "uncomfortable" with how I talk to them... Tl;dr: my bf's family makes me feel like a bad person and I don't know what to do :(