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the NOCD Community

How do you tell friends and family about ocd? Like it makes me so anxious and I feel like such a terrible person. A lot of my intrusive thoughts are on my kids. And I hate every single thing that comes into my head.

I wish to transfer all my staff from the old to a new phone. I did it. Of course, there are some issues with the apps on the new one. Basically you have to sign up everywhere from scratch all over again. The NOCD app : after I write in my email and password, it does not accept my username. It says it's already taken? No kidding?! Duhh, it's taken by me, my email address and password. What am I supposed to do now. I can still access NOCD from my old phone for a while, but then it goes into someone else's hands. Any suggestions, please? And in the same spirit, but not related to NOCD. Is there a way you can find your password in your yahoo email account while using it? Since I have the fingerprint proofing, I have obviously forgotten what password I chose. I was sure I knew, but again, on the new phone, it says I am wrong. I hate changing phones, but out of respect of the person who bought it for me, and will take my old phone, I can't say no to it. If it were up to me, I would use the old one till I or the phone dies. 🤣😁. I am super happy with it. It has an amazing battery. It might be a year and a half old, but for me and my needs it's perfect. And furthermore, it is beautiful. No edges, only curves, super thin and light. Honor Magic5. Might not be enough for more demanding users, but I just love it. 😍 I have been using it for 12 hours straight today, read news, watched tons of videos, sent mails and mms and the battery is only down to 79%. All my previous phones would require recharging long ago. I feel so sad that I have to give it up, but I can't win the argument for the old one, since the new one has just come out. Who in their right mind would keep the old one, right? Well, I know one person.... me. 🥴😊 I am grateful, though. I just don't like changes when things are good. 😊 Hope you are doing well. Wishing you a great day.

The things my brain convinces me of are so horrible idk how im going to get through this this time. I feel like I tell my self all the obsessions this episode u don’t even know or you definitely didn’t do but then I just start ruminating on simply the idea of them existing for me to worry abt being enough to keep me in the episode and I can’t even remember them all which doesn’t make sense how I would just forget but ocd makes it make sense yk. Sometimes they feel so real and there is nothing I can do to know and I just want to be happy so bad ik my core values and how I actually feel but it’s just a dark lonely terrifying cloud raining on me all day and night long.

My ex and I were definitely not the best match for each other, even though we convinced ourselves we were for nearly seven years. We said some things to each other we probably both still carry on now. One thing he’d tell me always was that I was mean when we fought/argued. But I only ever got that way when he didn’t listen…cause when I did soften my tone, or showed my vulnerable opinions he never took it seriously. I’ve realized over the years that my OCD usually gets heightened/worse either when I’m stressed, PMSing, or am on an estrogen related birth control. Sadly my life has changed drastically and so near the beginning of this month I switched to an estrogen/progesterone combined birth control pill. It has been great so far, up until this past week. My current boyfriend truly is a saint, and is the genuinely sweetest men I have ever had the privilege of knowing. But, I still get angry. Thankfully I never EVER get angry at him. I will talk my feelings out to myself (like at my job when I’m alone or in the car on the way to him) and work out my anger before I even see him: cause 9/10 times…it’s all in my head, with whatever is wrong. I’m just so worried that 1) one day that angry and mean side of me will come out again. I never ever want to make him cry, or make him feel unworthy (which is how my ex told me how I made him felt) and 2) that he’ll see me for who I ‘truly am’. He swears to me that I’m a sweet girl, and that I don’t have an angry bone in my body. But I see how agitated I get, I see how bitter I can be. I don’t know what to do. I’m so scared of hurting him. I’ve been nonstop thinking about this past week and I just want relief or a break from me.

Anyone take medication for OCD? The only medication I take is adderall but I had to stop due to heart issues so now my anxiety and intrusive thoughts are also back and adhd symptoms. My psychiatrist recommended I take antidepressants for my OCD like lexapro. The thing is I never ever thought I would take medication in my life. Here I am suffering from these mental illnesses which is also something I never thought would happen to me. I notice people that have OCD say that they wish they have taken medication sooner made life easier too but idk I’m still hesitant about it. How long do I have to take it for? Do I or should I take medication for OCD with therapy? Overall no adhd meds rn and man I feel so low and depressed lacking motivation and also overwhelmed thinking of doing other work related things.

i’ve been having harm ocd thoughts for like a week straight. graphic images of hurting my family. i would never ever want to hurt them. i dont think i can do this anymore. they wont go away.

So, I weight 67kg and I am trying to lose weight, but I can't do a diet cuz If I go too long without eating I almost pass out of anxiety, I have a traumatic response due to not eating and then staying in bed and having to do treatments to be able to eat again. I eat a lot of rice and nowdays I am eating much less, cuz before I used to eat ALL the time, and I mean it. I am having problems leaving my house due to my anxiety and I am only able to go out for small walks or a grocery store nearby, months ago I was still in this state, but I was able to really go out, now I can't, cuz at some point I start to automatically have anxious responses and I feel bad. That being said, I am dealing with physical limitations, I can't exercise for more than 10 minutes, and can't go to a gym. I am trying to eat less, and less but I am losing hope that I will never get better and will turn into a fat slob. How can I improve?

I got diagnosed with adhd about 2 months ago, I started vyvanse and it was amazing at first. So much motivation, ocd intrusive thoughts were easier to let go and would not consume me nearly as much. But then about a few weeks ago I started noticing I was getting super irritable, anxious, intrusive thoughts taking over again. I had already gone up and down to try and tweak the right dose for me so I know it wasn’t the dose. So I stopped a few days ago, and all of that instantly subsided. I feel like I’m back to square one:( I do take Prozac, only 20mg becuase I have to slowly increase to reduce side effects but it does help me a lot. I still want to take adhd meds though because I’m back to feeling unmotivated. Has this happened to anyone else on stimulants? What did you end up having to try instead?

I feel like I m*lested my brother in his sleep because I was thinking if me touching his area disgusted me and I’m trying to remember if I got up and touched him but I don’t remember I was laying down I asked my brother if I did anything he said no but how would he know he was sleeping? It’s like what if I did something that I don’t remember?

this is probably kinda jumbled but over the past almost year or so i've slowly realized i have ocd (i'm diagnosed audhd but over time i started feeling like those alone didn't cover the whole issue yk?), and recently i've been kinda worried i guess. it’s just that i’m turning 21 in 6 months and i’m afraid that this disorder is going to rob me of joyful adult milestones in my life. honestly being 20 has sucked, i can’t even remember wtf being 18 was like, and my childhood in general wasn't the best either, but i've been struggling a lot as of late and i don't want how i feel now to be the same as how i feel next year. my meds have helped quiet my compulsions a significant amount (i literally felt like i was going kinda cray cray when i was off them 😭) but they’re not completely gone. sometimes it just seems like this is all it's ever gonna be forever and i’m always gonna feel ashamed of myself for just like… existing. my 21 year old self deserves to be happy but idk if i’ll be able to give that to her 🥲🥲🥲

I’m getting gronial responses by listening to an ancient Egyptian podcasts I love ancient history I was listening to one and they were talking about how he got married at such an early age and his wife was around 12 and my head is just hoping for him to say something inappropriate about them and immediately thought that if I wanted to listen to it that meant I was listening to cp and I got gronial responses and I just speed the podcast I had to take my head phones and lay down or eat a chocolate bar because the gronials it’s annoying I can’t even listen to music or do anything with my head phones on Then yesterday I was thinking did I touch my brother? Because when I was laying down I was thinking if I would get disgusted by touching his area it was just a thought because I don’t remember standing up and actually doing it but it’s like I feel like I did

Even if I think I truly like someone else and think something negative about my partner & have found all the evidence I’m going to sit in the discomfort. Has anyone else had to do this in a similar situation? I love my partner to death. So hard.

I can't explain my obsession to anyone without it sounding crazy and no one understands the obsession, so I won't try to here. But has that happened to anyone? An obsession that you can't put into words and no one understands? I was making a tiny bit of progress with my NOCD therapist, but I couldn't afford it anymore. So I'm just feeling alone, scared, and crazy. Just wanted to reach out here. Thank you

Can you share a time you’ve seen God use your story with ocd for good? I don’t mean your experience with it was good in itself, but has there been times your life story has helped others open up, you’ve learned something about God’s grace in the process, or something like that? It’s one of the hardest parts of my own story, but there have also been so many times I’ve seen good come out of the hard stuff. I just would love to connect with others who have also seen this!

Hi everyone. I need someone to talk to right now. My parents won’t like to what I have to say and it is making me feel hopeless. I really want to have a life this year if examples in person school, doing a job, or doing something that will make friends. I don’t have anything. For the past 15 months I have been all alone in my room. My parents forced me to do online because I had ocd. And I have gotten a lot better over this past year. And I feel 100% confident to go to in person school. My parents said that I can’t. And that you can do a program and online school again. I said to myself that I will have a life this year. And I am trying to make that happen. I am begging my parents to let me have a life, but I just feel trapped in my room and in my head. I want to go out and live. I don’t know if I should leave or stay. But at the same token I want to be able to have a life and not be in my room, but then I don’t know if my parents are right or not. Someone please say something cause I think I am about to give up

Hey everyone, my dad and I are going to Japan in about a month and I found out about a month back he went through a hard time financially back in the winter I was not made aware of (he purposefully kept me and my sisters out of the loop). We just booked our plane and hotel yesterday and my sisters have been making me feel and think differently about everything. My sister said it was a lot of money which I was aware of and that instead of Japan my dad could take me to Mexico (our home country) to visit his parents gravesite (since he hasn’t visited in years and frankly, I have not gone) and since it is also cheaper to do so. Despite this I still wanted to go to Japan and didn’t suggest Mexico to him partially because I was thinking that since we are from Mexico and it is cheaper to travel there, there’d be more opportunities to go compared to Japan. I feel selfish for this as my dad and I aren’t on the absolute best of terms which makes me feel worse about the fact that he’s paying for everything (I am very young and starting college next month and do not have a job). I talked with him on the phone and he reiterated to me that he has saved money for the past months just for our trip and that despite us not being on the best of terms it, in other words, wouldn’t change a thing in terms of us going or him making this effort for me. My sisters thought he might’ve taken out a loan for us to go and he reassured me he did not (if that were the case I would’ve absolutely made him cancel) and since his hardship I was worried overall I just feel really guilty and I don’t want my ocd to interfere and keep making me run through the details or ruin my time when we go because of the guilt I’ll be feeling. Any advice or wise words?

Two years ago, I went to a concert of my favorite artist. I listened to this artist every single day and was super excited to go, even though I saw him numerous times to that point. I went with some friends and my now ex-boyfriend. Admittedly, I drank WAY too much. I do not recall the last hour of the concert (I do not drink anymore). Of course, my OCD ran with this and for two years, I have been worried I did something awful that I do not remember, like hurt someone, etc. Since the concert, I barely listen to the artist because it causes me so much anxiety. I am supposed to go to a concert tomorrow for this artist, but I am terrified to go because I am worried I will be recognized as the drunk girl who kept requesting songs or if I did do something awful at the last concert. I really do not know what to do. What would your advice be?

constantly when I deliberately imagine sex scenes looking at the photo that triggers me (my sister's face), it's like I'm imagining, projecting how I see myself how self pleasure myself, and I feel like I can, I have some drive, and it's like there are no limits, like the more I imagine the stronger it is... it scares me a lot, and I think I'm the only one who has it that way, and that it's not part of ocd...

Hello, I've been really struggling with my relationship with God since I believe He is coming soon. I've made alot of mistakes I've turned from but I don't think I've sought or advocated enough for hurt I've caused I don't know if God will help me or has His back turned from me. I don't know where I stand with Him and I pray He restores those I hurt truly

Hey everyone — I just want to say upfront that as someone who actively deals with real events OCD, most of the posts I share here are going to come straight from my personal experience. Just real & lived reality. Because I know how lonely this type of OCD can feel, and if there’s even one person out there who reads my words and feels less alone — then it’s worth sharing every piece of it. Now… let’s talk about the kind of OCD that doesn’t get enough attention. The kind that doesn’t just whisper scary things — it reminds you of real ones. Real Events OCD. This isn’t about bizarre or outta nowhere intrusive thoughts. This is the kind that takes real things you’ve done — whether it was a genuine mistake, a cringey moment, a bad decision, or even something you already made peace with — and it replays them on a loop like a horror film in your head. It’s the constant questioning: “Am I actually a good person?” “Was that actually wrong and I just didn’t realize it?” “What if I’ve hurt someone and don’t deserve to be okay?” And it’s exhausting. I’ve had moments where I can’t focus, can’t sleep, can’t breathe because my brain pulls up something from years ago and convinces me I’m evil, dangerous, unforgivable. I can be having a good day, laughing with people I love, and boom — my mind hits me with “Remember this? You should feel horrible about it forever.” Even if I’ve apologized. Even if I’ve changed. Even if I’ve done the work. Real Events OCD doesn’t care. It thrives off your guilt. It uses your conscience against you. And when you’re young — still figuring out who you are, still healing — it makes you question whether you even deserve to move forward. That’s what’s so cruel about it. It doesn’t just make you anxious. It makes you feel like you’re a danger to the people you love. That you’re secretly the villain in your own story. But let me tell you something I’ve been learning — slowly, painfully, but honestly.. You are not your past. You are not your worst mistake. And you are not the voice in your head trying to punish you forever. You’re a person with a heart. A person who cares. And that’s exactly why OCD picked this flavor to mess with you. ERP is SOO helping. So is community. But the biggest help? Giving myself permission to stop chasing reassurance and start living again. I do not have to confess, over and over, for the rest of my life. I do not have to torture myself to prove I’m good. I can grow — and growing is enough. So if you’re reading this and you know exactly what I’m talking about… I see you. I am you. Let’s keep showing up. Let’s keep living. Let’s keep healing — even when OCD tells us we don’t deserve to. You do. I do. We all do.