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the NOCD Community

Please someone help me Read my last post, I am in a dark place right now, I feel like it would be easier to just end this suffering

Anyone with HOCD in the stage where you're just accepting the thoughts and now It just feels like you're a lesbian. But I'm trying not to engage with this "feeling". So wierd. Idk if this is normal

do gay people get ocd similar symptoms when coming out ?

I’m scared that I’d be happier with a girl or I’m meant to be with girls or something. I hate this, I only ever wanted a boyfriend and had feelings for boys. I’d be so jealous when they would be with other girls. What’s going on ..? Anyone else the same?

Saw a post that triggerd me so much!! A story about someone having HOCD and suddenly found out they were gay. Freaking out, im not gay!! I dont want to leave my boyfriend, dont know what to do.

Hi guys and gals, this is my first post here. Let me introduce myself. Sorry if this is a bit long. I have a question to ask, but I want to give the context. If you read it, I thank you for your time. I was (mis?)diagnosed with OCD a few years ago. Since then, that diagnosis has been discarded by three different psychiatrists and two psychologists, one of them being a specialist in OCD treatment, after several personal interviews and a battery of tests. Yes, I did do the ink stains one, but I did probably seven others. They all, however, agree that I have an anxiety disorder with OCD-like traits. So, it's not really OCD, but I exhibit many of the same symptoms, although not all of them. I want to say that in the last few years I have gained a lot of respect and sympathy for people who struggle with their mental health, especially those with OCD, because I can relate so much. If I have, in their words, "only traits of OCD", I can't even imagine what it feels like to have full blown OCD. I'm on a ton of medication and even then, on my worst days, I could spend up to 5 hours doing rituals and mental checking. It was hell, and some days it still is. My compulsions are mostly mental. I would say about 95% of them are mental. I seem to have in the physical realm only one obsession, and it's with symmetry. But I can go days, even weeks maybe, without actually feeling that urge. Mental compulsions, however, torment me every day. I have decided to treat myself. All the professionals I have visited over the years refuse to treat me like you would treat a person with OCD. I know they have their reasons, but I feel like I need treatment. I am under CBT treatment but I feel it's not specific enough. The obsessions bother me so much, and they depress me. A lot. They tell me, literally, to "not give importance to your thoughts". I think if there's a group of people who understand how ridiculous that sounds it is you guys. So decided I would buy a few books and download this app, to start. I have taken the first two tests and aced all the questions (yay me) and I am somewhat familiar with the concept of ERP, but I wanted to know if you or someone you know is in the same place, that is, mostly mental compulsions or OCD-like traits. A combination would be ideal of course. I guess what I want to know is what can I expect, what my prognosis would sound like and if ERP is worth the initial anxiety spike in a case like mine or if I should stick with more "basic" CBT approaches. Thank you all

Anyone up and able to chat? Im struggling so much right now.

Hwo should I react to the ocd thoughts? I tried many different things but all of them didn't work out

Does anyone with hocd ever get thoughts or doubts that they “faked” their feelings for a guy they used to love or something? Idk I used to be in love with this guy then he broke my heart 2.5 months ago and now I’m wondering if I ever even liked him and am just in denial; idk if that makes sense lol

Just got off the phone with my after hours therapy center. I’m trying not to ruminate or seek reassurance, but even after I spoke with the therapist I can’t help but worry that I’m not just or moral enough. I asked if I should turn myself in, and they said no. I wish I could enjoy the holidays but I’m by myself right now and I’m going through a familiar thought process of the world would be a better place if I had been a different person. I’ve been feeling depressed and thinking about different ways in which I’m inadequate and incompetent. I can’t seem to figure out how I’m actually worthwhile. I don’t know if I’ll ever get out of this, my mental illnesses and my current failures at my work and internship. I’m sorry this all sounds dark and I don’t feel like being drastic. Rather I just feel extremely stuck. Kind of like, oh shoot I’m not someone anyone likes and I’m unfortunately a waste of oxygen.

Does anyone want to text and talk about ocd? I really wish I knew someone else who suffered from this illness and was able to talk about my feelings and struggles with this.....

ROCD making me numb and feel like shit.

Can somebody PLEASE ANSWER? Okey so I have this big big hocd trigger for me. It all started when I get into masturbation and well I got addicted about it. I did it almost all the time etc. But then it turned into ritual/ compulsion. So I liked to watch video edits in instagram about my farvourite show once upon a time. The thing is I was so addicted to masturbate that I many times mastubated watching literally anything even it did not turn me on. My mind were like if I “cum” before this edit ends nobody does not die or I get happy life. The think is that one of my farvourite character was girl..like I forced myself to masturbate to edits of her even it did not make me like turned on. Like back then I did not know about sexuality I just knew I liked boys and I did still masturbated about them too but it was not like compulsion thing it was natural. But like I said there would be edit about her and it last maybe 30s. My brain was like if you ”come” before that you can have bf or you are gonna be pretty like her. The think is i forced myself to do it every single time. Back then i did not even think i was lesbian because of that because i had crush on boys etc and they turned me on irl. This make me think i HAVE TO be a lesbian or atleast bi like i can not be straight even i want to. I do not have any desire to be with women or do sexual things with woman ?? what you guys think? It would be nice if somebody answer :(

Did anyone ever have a ADHD diagnosis before learning that it was OCD? The ADHD symptoms appeared as secondary to OCD? I never fully fit the ADHD diagnosis, however I knew something was extraordinary about my mind. According to my research, ADHD and OCD cannot occur together despite conflicting stats. Anyone have anything to add?

Any bisexual people on here, I got some questions ?

My current boyfriend is great and sweet and loving and kind, I love him but I don’t know if I want to be with him for the rest of my life. We’ve only been dating for 1 month and he’s already talking about marrying me one day. This kind of freaks me out. Like we just started dating. As the days go by I think more and more about how something just doesn’t feel right with him. Like I love him and think he’s amazing but something just doesn’t feel right. Idk if it’s my gut telling me that it’s not meant to be, or it’s just my anxiety taking over. Everything just happened so fast with us, and I’m struggling to keep up. Sometimes I think about life with someone else and that feels more right then when I think of life with my current boyfriend. Does this make me a horrible person? I just honestly don’t know what to think anymore. Thoughts??

Anyone willing to help with my speech on OCD? :) So I have to write a speech for my English exam and my topic of choice is OCD and the stigma around it. The title question I’ve given it is: ‘Should society be more conscious of the ignorance and prejudice circulating obsessive compulsive disorder?’. In the speech I’ll then argue why more should be done to tackle the misunderstood nature of OCD and the impacts of this! But there are two things I need help for. Firstly, I need to give examples of the problems and consequences of the stigma. So any ideas and first hand experiences would be greatly appreciated! And maybe some solutions to this too. It’d be great to embed some real quotes and stories. But secondly I need some help on a more personal level. I’m having a lot of doubts about this speech as I feel like a part of me is only writing it for attention. I know so so much about OCD because I have it, so I know I could make a really powerful speech. But I just feel like I’m ONLY doing it to make a powerful speech, not to raise awareness on the severity of the stigma. And I feel so wrong for this. Even worse, a part of me is EXCITED to reveal my struggles to the class. I don’t even know why. Very very few people know about my OCD, because I worry I’m faking it for attention. I’ve always felt special for having OCD and feel so wrong for that. So advice on this would also be appreciated as I’m really devoted to this speech, I just feel like my intentions are impure. Thanks for your help (on either of the two issues!!).

A new fear has arisen that I’m a latent racist. I hate this. The worst part is, I’ve actually thought some racist things in the past. I can only remember about two, because they worried me, but that’s still wrong. I had one about an hour ago hence I’m writing this. I want to love everyone and not judge. I’m wrong for this. It’s not right nor fair.

Does anybody else get triggered with post about finding your true self while under drugs? I had a bad experience smoking some weed. I was telling my self I wanted to be with a guy. That I wanted it.

anyone else on here with hocd, can we talk? please