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So is thought action fusion connected to the feeling of also feeling like the thought is ur own desire and feeling? Then feeling the absolute worst and yk the usual. All the emotions of hating the feeling and thought.

I’m trying to remain calm and not frantic. I’ve been doing really well with compulsions but spiraled a bit this week and it may be from pregnancy hormones. I got married in March and a week after had a “memory” that I cheated on my husband with his friend. This was distressing especially because I got pregnant and of course I did the deed with my husband (sorry tmi) but still convinced I cheated and it is his friends. A few months later in May I found out my best friends fiance cheated on her and they called off their wedding. I was so mad at first and honestly wanted to message him something mean but was never actually going to. Then I suddenly latched onto the idea that maybe what if I cheated with him instead and now I feel like there’s evidence. 1. I told my friend of my cheating fear around same time (like a week or two before her fiance confessed to his cheating) and convinced she told her fiance (while they were still together) because shortly after he admitted to her about his affair and I’m convinced what if he lied about who it was with and it was actually me. 2. I also added him on Facebook around the same timeline when I told her my fears and am scared between me adding him and him finding out I’m pregnant/thought I cheated that he had so much guilt he had to tell her because he though I knew 3. Pretty sure he blocked me and my husband on fb or at minimum deleted my husband (I deleted him myself) 4. We saw them the morning after the wedding and now I’m like was he having a weird vibe? 5. He apparently ended the affair right before my wedding because the girl he was hooking up with wanted him to not go and to call of his own wedding. Then she went and hooked up with his friends/coworkers and I’m like well what if he wanted revenge too. 6. He lied and said it was a nurse at first and later confessed to it being his partner at work. Am I crazy or is this truly false memory ocd because I feel like it’s a different feeling than previous false memory ocd events.

CW: Mention of Kink I just got back from a week long vacation with no internet. I don't really know how I feel about the trip yet, as I was dealing with intrusive thoughts the entire time, but the physical things I did on the trip were fun. I did experience a slip-up, and had some very distressing urges come about due to constant triggers, but I think I handled it okay. Probably... Regardless, now that I'm back, I feel like I have changed somewhat, and my physical and mental responses have become much less intense. But, as I enter this new mental phase, I can't help but wonder what life will be like if I have to worry about if I'll ever experience an intense mental storm like this again. In the recent past, I was a part of a kink sub-community that I have recently realized that it was wrong to be a part of. Now that I'm changing and trying to make it to where I only want to indulge in the ethical parts of that kink community, it makes me question if that's even possible. The community has blurred the lines of what's okay, and there are only a handful left who have been vocal about their intolerance of the problematic part of it, which makes it difficult to enjoy when the part of the community that wants to remain on the safe and ethical feels like the smaller portion now. And even if I stay in that safe part of that space, I have to make sure what I'm enjoying never crosses a problematic mental boundary, otherwise it's all for nothing. On top of that, I can't erase my past and just pretend I was never part of the problem, because I was. I felt pressured because all my at-the-time friends were just okay with it so I tried to be to, and I thought I was up until when the spiral kicked in and opened my eyes to my wrongdoing. Now I have that mistake etched into my history forever, and I don't know how to forgive myself for it when I know a lot of others won't if they ever found out that used to be me. Hell, I can't say it isn't part of me now because it feels like part of my brain wants to go back still. I'm not sure if that's my ocd or some twisted nostalgia, but either way, my emotions feel very fickle about the topic and I can only trust my values right now. The point of this post being, how do I go on when it feels like I don't have a place in the world because of what I've done and what I am? How do I move on and not want to look back?

i think i’m just freaking out over nothing again, but whenever i consume any type of NSFW content, i get so worried about if it’s problematic, because i’ve made mistakes before reading problematic content when i was younger. i don’t want to get super into it, but i read a NSFW writing recently where it had some vague parts of “puppy play” which was really just the character’s attitude towards the other, and some nicknames. now i’m wondering if puppy play or general submissiveness is bad to like or bad to be into. is this overthinking? i do think certain porn is very destructive to some communities, but this is so vague that i don’t know how to answer it.

i was told somatic excersise are better for ocd than medications (luvox) could this be true????? this was told to me by a therapist who does both but specializes in somatic exercise.. idk what to do now i have false memory and contamination ocd

So I was better for 1 week probably but thoughts attacking eachother when Im stuck on one I convince my self or feeling them less my brain Jumps to another bulls*it I feel like trapped and wanna confirm everything by asking to the people that around me in that thoughts or scenes like forgettin and act like nothing happened is hard for me cause I feel guilty in my head my heart even in my lungs I have false memory, ocd, rocd so should I forget and keep going what should I do ?

i think i’ve had about every OCD image or thought imaginable. It really does suck. My worst OCD thought i latch onto the most and then i go into a full blown panic just shaking.

Im realizing over and over again that everything leads back to Erp, DBT, and CBT. Ive been really hyperfixated on this one witch youtuber and binge watching her videos to test the waters of witchcraft and shadow work research (I have adhd so my version of "research" is binging one youtuber, writing whatever I feel is important, search whatever I don't understand, hop to another YouTuber, get even more info, rinse repeat, often going back to youtubers before as well) Anyway. So through working on Shadow Work and how all of that works im realizing a lot of it also applies to ERP. Discover the shadow -> OCD's notice the feeling. Talk to it, find out where its coming from -> acknowledge its ocd and feel where these feelings are (head, heart, etc). Then, for both, begin to break the habit. For example that was used in the video I'm watching: If you're a people pleaser, your shadow may be scared to upset people, so your shadow will convince you to stay put when you want to leave. Acknowledge its fears, begin to leave anyway. Disclaimer : this is not to say at all that your ocd is just shadows wrapped up in a false diagnosis. For some, theres no shadow involved at all. But for me, my ocd was developed through trauma in combination with BPD. For me it's a mixture of the two.

For the first time since OCD set in for me 10 years ago, I have gone 6 months without partaking in any compulsions purposefully (I have caught myself starting to a few times and stopped as soon as I realized it). I am living my life as a normal person and I am happy, but, in part because my recovery is so fresh and I am about to leave home for college, I am dodging doing compulsions for thoughts coming at me left and right. The thoughts are not nearly as prevalent or scary as they used to be, and I am by and large proud when I dodge them, but they are a reminder that even though I am out of the metaphorical room of crazy, I am standing right by the door on the other side, hearing the thoughts knock, and I would rather be at least a bit farther away from the door. I believe that over time, I will mostly attain that, but I don't like still being this close to the dark scary spirals and thought loops that I used to consume me. Can anyone relate?

Hey everyone I want to feel safe sharing and not judged. I am diagnosed with both OCD and Schizoaffective disorder. I am dealing with persecutory delusions which is basically paranoia. For example, I feel paranoid around people. This occurs when I am outside in my neighborhood or any public place outside. I feel like I am being watched and judged at all times when I am walking. It feels like I am being monitored by people. I also have excessive fears of being mistreated by other people and it is extreme that it impacts my daily functioning and my behavior. For example, I isolate myself from everyone. I live alone. I am not working. I am not going to grad school anymore. I fear talking to people including phone calls. I have an upcoming phone call this 30th of June and I fear I will be mistreated. I really do believe people want to watch me and judge me and people are bad. I see evidence of it too including when a couple of people I spoke to in person said people these days have gotten "meaner" and I see posts online of people criticizing society. When I am outside in public people seem to mind their own business or act normally, but I think they watch me and judge me secretly the same way I look at others and make small judgements about them. I had to end a friendship recently because I think he was neglecting me by not even reaching out to me once per week like we agreed and he seemed nice and receptive. But I think it reveals how he is emotionally neglecting towards me by not being available. I also think he was secretly judging me or hiding judgements about me and loved me less now (he is a Christian who loves people) and so I told Rick about all this and I want to end communication with him and he simply said he will pray for me.

Hi everyone, As you know most of my posts have been about my partner. I haven’t spoken to them for 24 days- in this time, I’ve travelled, cried a lot, been in therapy, started flouvoxamie, written letters I didn’t send, processed a lot, and kept busy. I personally feel like this time has made me miss them more than I ever had. It’s showed me I was unhealthy codependent, but I feel like now I’ve learned to self regulate. And yes, I’m not perfect all of the sudden in three weeks, but I feel different. I want to reach back out to my partner soon, because I feel like I’m ready to try again. My mindset is that we take things slow, focus on only the positive, and really try to contribute happiness to each others lives. I feel like if I keep my own intrusive thoughts and personal problems to myself 90 percent of the time, I can really make them feel more at ease, and able to spend more time working on themselves. Of course if I needed them I’d hope they’d be there for me, but I’d rather go to them less with my problems. Any thoughts?

1. The healing process is messy, but progress is still progress. 2. Sometimes you have to be a little sassy with OCD. Don’t let it boss you around. 3. ERP is what has helped me the most. Getting yourself to start ERP can be the hardest part, but every small step counts. 4. Nobody is in your shoes. People may misunderstand your experience, and that’s okay. Let them. 5. People don’t have to understand what you’re going through for you to heal. 6. Thoughts are just thoughts. They don’t define who you are. 7. Healing isn’t linear. There are ups and downs, but don’t give up on yourself. 8. You don’t have to believe every story your brain tells you. Sometimes the strongest thing you can do is let the thought exist without trying to solve it. 9. You don’t have to feel certain to keep living your life. Waiting for 100% certainty only feeds OCD. 10. Recovery isn’t about getting rid of intrusive thoughts—it’s about changing how you respond to them. 11. Anxiety can feel unbearable, but feelings aren’t facts. They always change eventually. 12. OCD will always ask for “just one more answer.” Don’t negotiate with it. 13. Healing takes courage more than confidence. You don’t have to feel ready to take the next step. 14. Comparison is a trap. Your recovery doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. 15. Setbacks don’t erase progress. They’re part of learning. 16. You are not your thoughts, feelings, urges, or fears. 17. You don’t have to prove you’re a good person. OCD will never be satisfied with proof. 18. Some surviving is enough. Not every day has to be productive. 19. Healing is uncomfortable because you’re teaching your brain that you don’t need to fear uncertainty. 20. The more you chase certainty, the more OCD grows. The more you practice uncertainty, the smaller OCD becomes. 21. Self-compassion goes further than self-hatred ever will. 22. Celebrate the little wins. Going somewhere, resisting one compulsion, or sitting with anxiety are victories too. 23. It’s okay to ask for help. Recovery doesn’t have to be done alone. 24. You are stronger than you think. OCD has shown me parts of myself I never knew existed, and it also showed me how resilient I could become. 25. Keep living your life while OCD comes along for the ride. Don’t wait for fear to disappear before you start living. OCD introduced me to my darkest moments, but recovery introduced me to my strongest self. I hope everyone’s journeys are going okay.

I get like less stressed for a day but then it peaks again, will using magnesium help me calm down? I've been overthinking about useless things for hours, my stomach starts beating like my heart and It stings when I think about something im afeaid of or something i hate, like when u get butterflies when ur in love, but its constant, its making me dizzy and wanting to fall asleep i cant focus and my face just gets more bloated because of it, please someone help me, tell me what to do

I stopped confessing to my gf months ago because she asked me to stop since it was upsetting her, but in the months that passed the amount of stuff that I want to tell her has only grown and the urgency has grown as well. my main obsession is cheating OCD, ive spent years afraid that i cheated on her with a friend of mine and these past few months a memory has resurfaced ( I know OCD can theoretically distort actual memories but I don't know if this one is like that it doesn't seem to me, like at all ) about me cheating. I even stopped feeling doubt around this topic I just feel so sure of this memory it seems so real to me so I can't pretend that I feel doubt about having cheated. what makes the most sense to me is that I did it. I do have low insight tho, my therapist told me that. my therapist ( she is specialised in ocd ) told me i have free will lol so I can do whatever I want but she told me that confessing not only is a compulsion but that it would just upset and overwhelm my gf. I don't want to hurt her but not telling her feels so deeply wrong to me. keeping her in the dark about my memory just seems manipulative and horrible to me, I cant even have intimacy with her anymore because I think that doing that with her when she doesn't know something so crucial about our relationship is r@pe by deception, cus she would never do that with me if she knew about the memory. but please I cant handle being told "maybe you did it maybe you didn't" that only makes me freak out more, not only because I don't feel doubt anymore at this point but also because it feels insane to be to just be like "oh well maybe yes". that's just not acceptable to me. I don't know what to do anymore I feel restless and like I want to crawl out of my own skin I don't deserve any pity tho I did this to myself

I have a pulling hair disorder that has been going on since I was 10, I am now 13. My hair is different lengths on the top and on the right side of my hair; however, I kinda slowed down this past year but still having a week of just pulling. Well, this past week I have stopped pulling my hair and got on NOCD ( ERP therapy), but I fear that me pulling my hair will come back the second I close my eyes. My mom has been by my side for the last year and a half being my biggest supporter, she even made a hair appointment for me today to see how I can hide my spots I have been pulling! It was nice and all and I feel a little more confident, it’s just not my style I tried to curl it but it is too short for how I want it to look. And the more I tried to fix it the more sad a got, I even watched my mom in the corner of my eye feel bad for me as a stood there tearing up over my hair. And as I finish my first post I read it to my mom; however, when I finished she told me something that made me have hope in my journey of not having to pull my hair. She told me that instead of being quiet for the rest of the evening, I went on this app and told my feelings instead of hiding them. Thank you for reading my first post it means a lot to me!

This is going to be a mouth full but I’m really trying to see if anyone can relate to this. Growing up I was always a good kid, I stayed out of trouble and made good decisions, treated people with kindness, and have always been a very open minded person despite living in a conservative area. However recently my OCD has been making me question everything I’ve ever said and done in my past. I came across old text messages, old arguments, and old ways of speaking that are extremely shameful and would undoubtably get me canceled today. When I found these messages, it had me questioning whether not I’m a total fraud for what I believe in and what I preach. I never used terms AGAINST people but regardless of its intent, it was still bad language. When I went away to college and realized people who align with my beliefs don’t speak that way I stopped entirely. Years and years later my OCD had me searching for a digital footprint to prove to myself I’m not a bad person, which then had me come across these messages that has sent me into a whole spiral and makes me believe I am not worthy of friendships or relationships with new people because they don’t know about those old messages. All I can picture in my brain is the kids I work for or new people in my life reading these messages, how much they’d hate me after seeing them, and how much they’d question who I really am. The terms and words I used to use years ago DO NOT align with my beliefs and never have, which is extremely hypocritical and makes me feel like I need to confess to everyone about how I used to talk. It makes me think everything bad that happens to me is deserved. I feel guilty even seeking comfort because this is all caused from my past wrongdoing. I know I have a reputation of being a good person but I can’t help but think I’m not because of what I found on my phone from years ago, it has sent me into an total identity crisis. Has anyone ever found old texts that made them question their own moral? It’s hard because these messages exist, there’s no getting rid of them which scares me the most. Knowing people most likely have these messages deep in their phones as well terrifies me. What if I get exposed? Or even worse, I truly feel like everything good I’ve done for others, or any time I’ve ever stood up for someone is a total lie because I am just a huge hypocrite. No matter how much people could reassure me those messages will always be in the back of my mind.

I am recovering from a trauma, and what keeps on bothering me, is the feeling of doom along with apathy and sadness, it is a deep feeling, and seems to consume me physically. I want to do things again like before, to go out, go to collage. But any type of sickness seems to paralyse me. Has anyone been able to move on and live again even with your trauma?

guys I was too social when I was a teenager and I was talking (in flirty way ig but not so serious) to someone in my country from another city but I dont even remember his name now I have 1 year and 1 month relationship with my lovely partner and due to memory loss like I even forgot when did I talk to him it can be 2-4 years, I wanna now the exact date but idk I cant even remember but my sick brain says that what if I talk with him when my partner was in my life and feel sick...

After reading posts on here and looking back over my life, i can spot how I can generally feel the urge or need to not have any secrets or private life. Its like i feel that im keeping things back or doing something wrong if I keep anything to myself. And it got me thinking, this is such an ocd trait ? Am I right? I see posts about confessing, but even just about having a private life. Everyone is entitled to their own private life. I feel like people without ocd, would rightly think this is my business, personal. And someone with ocd feels they owe people unlimited access to their private self and life. Im currently struggling with this urge to say things to my cpn and psychiatrist. But I realised I feel an urge to tell them things which, after some thought, is actually my private life. Its like oversharing gone wild.

Went out with friends last night which was very cathartic and won bingo!!! I feel guilty that in the throes of this I feel I prefer being around my friends than my partner. But I’m not allowing myself to ruminate on a reason for that :) I was wondering if anyone experienced general doubts, questions about their sexuality/relationship before developing OCD symptoms. It was reading a piece on repressed sexuality in women that caused the spiral, as I had some of the experiences outlined in the writing. I’m treating my resonance with the article kind of like resonating with a horoscope. You can align on traits and topics, but there’s no declarative proof that only people with a certain zodiac sign will experience those things. I’m not asking for reassurance - but I’ve noticed a lot of folks have said “I never thought about this until now” which in my case is not true, but I feel like there are others like me out there :)