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Hi, I wrote yesterday but I delete it because it was to long the message. I just need a little help and support with this. I was diagnosed with pure OCD a few years ago. I manage to get through but recently I experience a traumatic event that felt mostly as an emotional abuse. From that day on my mind stuck on that experience and it doesn’t seem to let it go even after a year and something. It’s like everyday my mind relive that experience trying to find the why’s and the how’s. My difficulty is that recently it started to become very painful any thought about that experience provokes very strong emotions of fear and sadness and brings me a huge migraine and actual physical pain in my brain. It’s worth to mention that through that experience I started to doubt myself and blame myself for the abuse. I believe that I am experiencing PTSD and have OCD thoughts about the PTSD and it’s really painful. I was wondering if anyone of you experience something similar. Any advice would be appreciated, I just need a small breath. Thank you.

OK! I am going through the weirdest thought process and it’s kinda TMI but I just don’t know who else to talk to. So I’ve been dating this guy for a while and he is sO goofy. He sent me a snap video of him in a bath and he was trying to make me laughing peeing in the video too. And it was cute seeing him in a bath because he’s a grown man in a little bath all by himself I thought it was cute. But when he pee’d it reminded me of my nephew. Sometimes when I take my baby nephew to the potty I have to carry him to pee because he’s so tiny and when he finishes it’s this funny little trickling noise. And that’s the noise my bf made in the video. So when that came in my mind I had this idea that I’m like a pedophile or into children because I thought... Like I don’t even know I can’t even explain it. Like when my bf sent me that video I didn’t think of it sexually or turned on by it. I genuinely just thought it was adorable that he was in a bath like a little boy. And then it made me panic like do I think it’s cute because I’m into children?! I don’t really know what to do. I’ve always suffered from POCD but I’m really scared about this...

Does it make me crazy that i miss someone who was emotionally neglectful and abusive to me ? I sometimes Worry it was my fault and that i made them neglect me.

Good morning OCD users and welcome to our NOCD community platform. I’m a therapist here at NOCD and I had a wonderful conversation today with a client I’ve been working with. They told me they didn’t feel the need to monitor their thoughts any longer because they are not feeling anxious all day, everyday! They were so grateful for the peace in their days, the easy laughter, the connection to their family members - all these things were missing from their lives because of HOCD. But not anymore. We went through the NOCD treatment plan, we did self monitoring worksheets and built a hierarchy and they worked very hard and it paid off. I’m not going to say they will never have another HOCD thought, but today they feel in remission and for that we will shout from the roof top in joy and hope for more days of remission. For that client and any other who is feeling hope today, continue to do your ERP and continue to break that cycle! It is a good Tuesday!

I'm feeling really shitty! I'm so afraid that all of a sudden I turn into a pedophile! And that I'll have to see cp! And I'll need to go see a therapist for sexual perverts! I am so afraid! Not even the fact that pedophiles find out they are when their about 16 relaxes me! It only makes me scared that I haven't realised yet! I really like kids and love spending time with them but not in a sexual way! Just in a mummy way! I would love to be a mother and I'm afraid that I'll never be because before it I'll will turn into this huge monster!

I know that OCD can manipulate our feelings (I call them intrusive emotions) but then for me comes the question, what if I do something whilst experiencing those intrusive emotions? Sorry if this worried anyone as well. I just need some support please

I feel like im in hell. I feel so bad and i feel so doomed. For 1.5 years i fighting with ocd, mostly pure o. 3 2.5 months ago it start to attack my relationship. She is the most precious thing in my life and i understand thats why the icd attack it. Im struggle with maintain love, attraction, emotions the most. In the last days i started to feel very numb and its "connect" me to the idea i dont love her and not attracted to her. It made me to be even more scared to my life when i noticed that ive short breath while kissing her, because im so scared amd ashamed that i kiss her while ive got all of those thoughts. I noticed that i check my emotion stability toward her which make it worse. Also, i read on wikipedia about pure o and they wrote there about that pure o relationship ocd is in most cases lead to break up and it triggered me so much. I dont want to loose her, never, no matter how much im suffer. She gave and giving me the powet to cope with this demon. I know its all ocd and i try to live my life without ocd and my love in my conor and something teying to hurt us and its makes me crazy.

How do you believe it’s just ocd, when it doesn’t feel like it’s just ocd?

how come with hocd i get these gross sexual thoughts and they make me super uncomfortable and i cringe but something makes me think i like it. and i don’t even know what it is that makes me think i like it

Keep having gay dreams and I either wake up crying or wake up really uncomfortable and confused. I saw someone in here say that lesbians only watch straight porn which I know is completely false, but now I keep having dreams that I'm witnessing a porn and focusing on the girl. I've never had dreams that I wasn't in before this. I watched porn once by myself when I was 14 and I'm 21 now. I get turned on by these dreams because sometimes I wake up aroused, but it's not a happy feeling it makes me feel kind of nauseous. Please help.

I found a dm I sent to Bella Thorne in 2017 asking for advice on if I could be lesbian or bi and how lesbian porn turned me on and how girls were intriguing and turned me on sometimes but I even said in the message I never thought about girls in a relationship way or had liked one and I still wanted to be with guys. This is just more proof that I am gay or have been and just have been denying it. Now I’m crying. I can’t stand this. If I had thoughts before, why did hocd happen out of nowhere and the obsessing got so unhealthy just recently?! This hocd shit is so confusing and so stressful. I hate not knowing who the fuck I am.

Has anyone here before ever had swallowing ocd? What is the rep treatment for this and what are it’s compulsions?

Everything was so lovely and im afraid im gonna miss out of feeling the amazing feelings being in love gives you. Im so afraid, i wanna feel the same like i used to. Genuinely wanting to he with someone

This is Rizwan Hanif, i am in 37 th year of my age, suffering with OCD since 2009 approximately. Taken Paroxetine for 5 Years and upto 50mg approx At start paroxetine made some difference but still i was struggling to recover, tried many other herbal treatments but not recovered. Near about three montha ago i quit taking Paroxetine and surprisingly it didnt effect noticeably but not recover either. Its about 10 years of OCD, it ruined my life, quiting paroxetine has not much noticeable effect, its like same as i was taking so i am not taking it Hoping that may i will find some solution of it. 10 Years of my life ruined.

I have anxiety from a past mistake I made. I tried a sugar baby site with a friend, only to be used like a prostitute and not paid anyway. I deleted my account shortly after. But I was bought to motel rooms by one and bought to the basement of a bar by the other for sexual favors. I was drunk so I didn’t think anything at the time. I even went to NYPD special victims unit about this 3 years later and since i consented there’s nothing but a police report I can put. Anyway, years later I have obsessions that I’m secretly taped and that the bar had security cameras in the stock room basement. The bar has since closed and has sister pubs but I became agoraphobic being in NYC and can’t live happily without reassurance that there’s nothing wrong and everything is perfect. I’m working with my therapist but it’s hard just sitting with uncertainty about things. I always have the urge to go to great lengths for reassurance. Even though I’ve never been blackmailed and never saw any videos of me, I fear the worst case scenarios. Most likely even if there was s security camera it’s nothing that would be leaked. But I still have that ocd reassurance seeking inside of me.

Now I’m starting to worry I’m asexual goodness gracious

Can someone explain what this means or use an example, I'm a little confused. "Ocd hijacks feelings, if you're trying to workout what you feel, or feel a feeling, remember ocd is in the control room."

Hey guys, I just wanted to mention this as it seems to be an important point in recovery. I’ve noticed that doing exposures only when you get the chance isn’t always helpful, it helps a bit but then you have to wait for the next trigger to come along so you can do an exposure. Deliberate exposures help me, so putting yourself in those situations daily is good because you will recover quicker. ??

Real event OCD. I have this real event from 2 years ago, that when I begin to fall back into a pattern of intrusive thoughts this is what tortures me. Its about me failing to flag/report something on an adult website I was on because I wasn't sure if the content was appropriate or not. I didn't click on it to check or anything, I was just scrolling past and saw it briefly for a split second so I could have been mistaken. It still bothers me to this day. I sought so much reassurance after the event and everybody told me websites regulate themselves in line with the law so they will have taken care of it if it was anything bad. But I still can't get over the feeling that I failed to do a moral duty of mine and that makes me a bad person and feel so much guilt for it even though rationally I know I'm not responsible for anything and it's not my fault. Please help. It's starting again...:(

I'm afraid that I might all of a sudden turn a pedophile! I would never hurt a child and I'm so afraid that all of a sudden I turn into one of those monsters! I feel like I'm near the end of the world! If I notice a kids voice I think that makes me a pedophile! I'm so scared! Today O was having sex with my boyfriend and every type of the intrusive thoughts came into my head and I didn't let it affect me! I remembered saying to myself ok than I quit I'm going to be a old lady which like 17 year olds! And I kept with my sexual intercourse! But at the end I felt bad for thinking that and keep going! I felt like I should have stopped the sex immediately! It doesn't even makes sense my boyfriend is older than me and I'm constantly asking myself are you looking at him because you think he is a little kid!