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I’m having a really bad day with OCD so I just need to get all this out. I wonder if there’s some deep underlying cause that triggered my ROCD. I had these thoughts about other boyfriends too, not just the one I currently am with. So, here’s some of what I experienced as a young child/teen. My parents never hugged or kissed and I never really saw them interact in fact. My dad would work all the time and he’d fall asleep on the couch when he got home. One time on Christmas when I was like 7 years old, I asked my mom “why don’t you and daddy ever kiss?” I would see them fight a lot and I’d see one of my brothers also fight with my dad a lot. It always made me very anxious. My parents got divorced when I was 8 years old. They kinda just acted like college roomates who never got to know eachother instead of a married couple. (I just wanna say everyone in my family are AMAZING people that I admire, but they do make mistakes just like everyone else) When I was 10/11, my mom got remarried to my step dad. They love eachother very much and got along real well and we had fun. But a few years later, we learned he’s an alcoholic and I’ve heard and seen things that were heartbreaking from him. The things he’s said to my mom just are absolutely awful when he’s drinking. He’s a great guy when he doesn’t, but I don’t think our daughter-step father relationship will ever be the same. I guess all of the toxic things I’ve seen my mom go through with my dad and step dad affected me more than I ever thought. I vowed to myself I’d never get a divorce or get in an abusive relationship and I think my mind took that inter overdrive and that’s where my ROCD was born. (Ps, I did end up getting into a really mentally/emotionally abusive relationship which probably also influences the ROCD thoughts about my current boyfriend) So, I guess if anyone has any advice or kind things I’d really appreciate them. I hope you guys are all doing well ??

Do you remember your first intrusive thought?

I'm so scared of my therapist reporting me for my real event :( wish me luck everyone

I've been told by a few people they think I have Real Event OCD..but before I go to speak to someone about it (I'm still anxious about doing so and don't know if I have OCD) I have a question. Can you have real event ocd if you did said events more than once? And its more than one event??? Or am I just a horrible person??? ( Sorry if my spelling or grammarIs bad!)

You know what I'm done with everyone in my life. No one understands and worse they dont want to take the time to understand. So I'm taking a vow of silence. I'm done talking with no one listening. This is officially my only outlet and even then I'm too scared of offending someone. I'm not brave enough to take my life because of the catholic guilt of going to hell so here I am.

Today my OCD is worst I feel I lost the battle I can’t take no more Is impossible this contamination is all over in my house I can touch nothing no more Way I’m so worthless This is not a life I say God take me

Going to start nofap today... can't hurt at this point...

I'm reading the scripts over and over but I'm not getting anxious Is that a problem?

It’s so hard to deal with this theme (Suicidal OCD) because the slight chance that I may not have OCD and be actually suicidal is frightening. This is my whole life at stake. I’ve been diagnosed multiple times with OCD but I just can’t believe it. I think I’m truly suicidal and in grave danger. I truly feel like I am going to do it and that I just don’t want life anymore. I feel bored of existence and disconnected from everything. People keep telling me to be patient but they just don’t understand how hard it is to be fighting this on a daily basis. Quarantine is truly making everything worse. I can barely grasp onto the little bit of hope I have!

Hey guys I’m feeling very down right now I could use some support. My dads an alcoholic and today he told me I was faking my ocd and was just dramatic. I feel like I have no one and I’m just feeling like there’s no purpose anymore. Like everything is just so dark. The thoughts are bad and I’m feeling worthless and like a terrible person. I don’t feel like anyone cares. I don’t feel like anything can help

I don’t want to delete all social media’s, but since tik tok is my main trigger I deleted it. And as for twitter I’ll just block hashtags I don’t want to see, Instagram isn’t a problem and neither is Snapchat. So I guess I should be good here. I’m deleting tik tok until this whole thing cools down and if they just stop talking about race and if it doesn’t then I just won’t have tik tok at all. I’m rlly tired of going on my fyp just to only see stuff about racism. Tik tok was supposed to be the escape from my anxiety, not cause it.

I can’t even handle this anymore, on Instagram there was a post with the names of black men that were killed and I had a thought that said my brother (who is 2) is gonna be on that list. I’m actually sobbing right now, what the actual fuck...I can’t even handle these thoughts right now....??.... its not even the brutality that’s triggering me, it’s just the thoughts that make it seem like the things that are happening are my personal issue, which they are not, I get it this is sad and terrible and needs to stop but at the end of the day, ocd is turning this into something that it’s not? I don’t wanna talk about this anymore... I’m done

Idk how to feel safe here I know that everyone here is entitled to post what they want to/need to Bc everyone is here for support. But as a lesbian with SOOCD telling me I’m secretly attracted to men, ive found that I’m actually just really triggered by hocd posts on here.. I unsubscribed from the hocd section but I still see tons of posts about it. I don’t want to make anyone feel guilty it’s just frustrating Bc I feel like this app is a good resource for support and helpful reminders but I’m too scared to use it a lot of the time Bc I feel hated for no reason. :(

Anyone on here to speak?

Anyone on anafranil or Prozac who deals with HOCD ?

I feel like I'm the only one on this app who struggles with alcohol. It's literally the only thing that stops my intrusive HOCD thoughts. How do u all cope with this disorder in a sober way. I'd love to hear ur responses because I truly want to live a happy sober life I just have no idea how to. I've been self medicating with alcohol everyday for the past 6 years.

I'm having a dilemma right now where I have trouble distinguishing between ocd symptoms and general life problems. I would love to get some insight. So, my husband and I recently moved into an apartment in an old building. The walls are quite thin and we can sometimes hear the neighbours going about their day — talking, cooking etc. I quickly got used to it and didn't think much of it. However, a few weeks ago the neighbours downstairs put a note in our mailbox. It basically said that we had been disturbing them constantly for months. It wasn't signed, but it was worded in such a way that I concluded it must be from the person in the apartment right under ours. I panicked, but decided the best thing to do was make amends right away so I went down to apologize. It was a very confusing conversation, because the person answering the door wouldn't tell me if she had written the note or not. But she said she appreciated the sentiment and we ended up on reasonably good terms. Of course, I then spent days ruminating about the whole thing. I am now terrified of disturbing her or the other neighbours again. I try to avoid anything that could potentially make too much noise (playing loud music, clattering with dishes etc). The trouble is, I feel like I also have to monitor my husband in case he does something that could disturb someone. I asked him to stop working on some of his hobby projects late at night because they involve tools that would clatter loudly if dropped on the floor. He agreed to that, but I am still really anxious he might do something loud.. I don't want to ruin our relationship by being a control freak, but I also don't want to be an awful neighbour. I realize I am having excess anxiety over this, but I don't know where it crosses over into ocd territory. Could I work with this using ERP? What would the exposures look like?

I find it so hard to accept I have OCD. My OCD tells me this isn’t even OCD, that I’m just in denial. It’s hard because my OCD fails to separate the difference between being in denial and being gay. I can’t do it and my OCD needs certainty - I’m not content with not knowing. I feel so scared that I’ll get over this and then when I’m happy boyfriends and kids and whatever that this will come up again and I’ll realise all along I was gay and in denial and I’ll have to divorce my husband and my kids will hate me. My OCD is never satisfied either. Like I’ve always been content with boys, sexually and romantically but it keeps bring up the need to experiment and try it out to be sure you’re not or whatever and it’s stressing me the fuck out. My OCD pretty much sexualises everything so it’s no wonder I find women sexually arousing because when my OCD is bad I have images of me being with a women, I don’t hate it but I know I don’t want that in real life or as a relationship but also the fact I’m having these thoughts - my OCD is like are you sure though, because you might like it? Maybe OCD will go away if i am gay yanno. Fucking hell - I wish OCD would just be quite for a hot minute so I can enjoy being intimate and having a laugh with my boyfriend. I’ve named my OCD Regina George because she’s is fugly slut and is ruining my life ? Anyone relate?

Has anyone increased from 150mg to 200mg of sertraline and noticed an improvement in their symptoms? I am also undertaking therapy alongside medication.

To all my female HOCD sufferers, please do yourself a favor and never look at Comphet. One of them was like getting crushes on boys all the time because you confuse crushes for friendship and I would do that, but I was also really lonely and desperate for male attention. But bc I found comphet now I’m like great I’m gay. WHATEVER YOU DO, DO NOT LOOK