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I’m worried because someone came out gay on this app and he thought he had hocd. Now I scared I don’t have hocd and the thoughts are true pls someone comment

Does anyone else have an ocd theme that is about someone else rather than themselves? My whole theme is my husband. Not in an ROCD way, the opposite in fact! I hang on his every word, take everything literally, create false memories, feel insecure at times for absolutely no reason. Intrusive thoughts changing all the time, but always about him. He’s a wonderful man and been happily married for 35 years. Just don’t get it. Would welcome anyone’s experience of how to deal with this.

I've been pretty mad at myself lately. Recently, my therapy appointments haven't been going the way I'd like them to. I've been having my sessions over the phone, but today I got to go back in person which was nice but kind of awkward. Anyways, I can't get myself to talk about the important things. I end up spending most of my time talking about small stressors from the past week and I never get into the tough stuff, especially my OCD. It's so frustrating, but I always feel so stupid and embarrassed to have these thoughts and I can't get the words out of my head whenever I talk to him. They've been ending 15-20 mins early because I don't have anything else to say, or so he thinks. The truth is that I am filled with different things to talk about, but I physically cannot get myself to say anything. Does anybody have any advice?

Does someone have a call a partner that downplays your OCD or doesn’t believe you have it? How do you handle that? Background story: my partner comes from a background where he was not raised with discussing mental health or expressing feelings, and especially has never heard of OCD. Every-time I’ve brought up concerns about my OCD tendencies were affecting my life, the most common answer is “well everyone does that, you’re overreacting” or “I think you’re overthinking it”, or “it’s not a big deal”. Have any of you had this before and how do you address it? I feel undermined and frustrated.

How can I stop feeling “off” or stop being so aware of life if that makes sense? I mainly deal with existential and suicidal OCD so I’m guess that those two themes are what make me feel weird because I can’t even watch how someone’s life is going or think about my own life without having intrusive thoughts and feelings about how none of it has any meaning or none of it matters and how being excited to get a your favorite latte or going to the park to bask in the sunshine is meaningless. And I want to reiterate that I HATE feeling that way, I want to do all these cute and fun things but it’s such a downer when the thoughts and feelings come in anyways and try to rain on my parade. Sometimes I feel like I’m up above looking at everyone else living their “trivial” lives while it doesn’t mean anything but I don’t want to feel that way I want to enjoy every moment no matter how small, but I don’t want to be so hyper aware about life and what it means and what I do, that’s why I think that has to do with the existential ocd, and of course the suicidal ocd plays in there saying I should kill myself and I DONT WANT TO! This is all so annoying. Sometimes I wonder if starting meds would help stop these feelings and thoughts and fears. I normally do all the things I want to do, I go out with friends, watch my favorite shows, eat my favorite foods, have general fun, but can I stop having the thoughts and feelings saying otherwise?

my therapist recommended i write down an anxiety producing thought and then write a rational counter-statement to that thought. the thing is i fear that wont that only fuel my OCD? i asked my therapist this and they said that i should still try it because i have to teach myself to believe rational thoughts. what should i do? a lot of what i learned about OCD is to not give it power or attention but wont this give it attention?

Hi everyone! I’m not sure who saw my post a couple days ago about rocd attacking my boyfriends friends lol.. they’re not unattractive and I had some horrible thoughts (I call them horrible even though they’re “normal”).. I’ve had the fear or cheating, flirting, etc even though I know I would never. Sometimes I worry myself because I like impressing them but I only do that because they’re his friends so I want them to like me lol! Anyways, ever since then they’ve been still hanging out with my friends and I’ve been tagging along because I feel like hanging out with them is a good exposure but then my mind also picks at the idea that me hanging out with them is wrong since my boyfriend isn’t there with us.. he’s in the army and he’s helping at the elderly homes but he knows when we hangout and he seems fine with it.. anyways I just need someone’s opinion on this, thanks!

Im really involved with my church and I ya youth ministry. Something I am doing is researching and looking into the Bible and what is says about the LGBTQ+ community. Personally, I don’t think there is anything wrong with same sex attraction it marriage. I’m not one of those people who says “I don’t support same sex marriage but I still love you” no I support all of it. I struggle with HOCD, and it used to be very very very bad, but then I got treatment and after intense ERP I was able I get a bit of my life back. I was able to like boys without worrying that I secretly liked girls and didn’t know it. Of course I still struggle from time to time, but not as much as I used to. Doing this research is kind of triggering, but it’s important to do because I want to make an argument that LGBTQ+ marriage and rights is ok and there is nothing wrong with this community. But I was doing some research online, I searched “what’s does the Bible say about being LGBTQ+” and I clicked on a website that said it talked about the Bible, but then it randomly took me to a sight that was for gay men to find other gay men and it had random pictures with men holding there penis’s out and such. Even though I am 17, I have never really exposed myself to stuff like that especially since I’m saving my first time for my husband. But then when I realized I wasn’t attracted or aroused by those unwanted and sudden images, I began to freak out. I started getting that feeling in my stomach that I had when I first got HOCD. When I was about 11 or 12, I was exposed to lesbian porn and was aroused by it (this only lasted for about 1 or 2 months and then I stopped because if felt icky to do it. Also I didn’t masturbate or anything I just watched it and was a roused). Even as a young girl I knew I liked guys and wanted to marry a guy one day, I mean I was boy crazy. And despite being aroused by that lesbian porn stuff, it didn’t make me doubt I was straight. But then when I was like 15 or 16 the HOCD started and that stuff came back to nip me in the butt and I constantly worried that because of the porn stuff that meant I was attracted to woman and was just in denial about it. Which made me feel sick because I didn’t want to date a girl because the idea of doing that didn’t feel right to me. But now because of what happened with the website leading me to that gay dating site thing, and I wasn’t aroused or attracted to the stuff I saw, my HOCD I starting to freak me out again. I know I’m attracted to guys, all I ever think about is having a boyfriend and getting married, I’m kind of a hopeless romantic. But because of all that stuff in the past and then what happened today does that mean I’m actually gay and just in denial of it? My worst fear is that either I will have my first kiss with a guy and then realize I’m gay, or one day a random woman will just come into my life and I will realize I am gay and want to be with her. This really sucks and I’m scared because within seconds now I feel like I’m back at squarer one after battling this OCD stuff head on for 2 years :(

Hi guys, I've been suffering with POCD for quite a while now. Because I reached a point where I was ready to commit suicide due to the continuous stress, shame, guilt and (self)disgust caused by my OCD, I have recently decided to start therapy. I'm happy with this decision as I want to learn how to cope with my thoughts in a healthy, effective way. However, there is one thing that slows me down. There is always this thought/question running through my mind that makes me doubt more than anything about my values: 'do I actually want to recover from OCD?'. Whenever I ask myself this question and answer with 'yes, of course, there is no doubt in that!' I get a really strong feeling of me lying to myself and/or being in denial about whether I want these thoughts or not. I know it sounds confusing, and I apologise for that, but why do I feel that I don't want to recover from this bad, unhealthy state full with terrible thoughts, urges and sensations?! I would really like to know your opinions. Thank you so much for reading this. And I apologise if it's confusing. Take care x

Has anyone else told their therapist any anxieties about porn or sex? It's a subject I feel awkward talking about because it's so personal and I'm nervous to being it up. Will she judge me if I mention I watch taboo porn? Am I a bad person because of it?

We have a son with OCD. He doesn’t want to get help at this point. My husband and I are desperately trying to find a way to help him and to best relate with him.

Does anyone else have the constant ocd thought that their significant other is going to cheat on them in some way? I started realizing this was an ocd thought I have because there is absolutely no ground for having that thought. It’s just persistent every day. Ugh I want it to go away.

i notice i do this thing were my brain relates to ANY post then links it with “what if i did that? what if i feel that way?” to try to shift some kind of guilt or blame on myself random example: if i see a twitter post about how a person went to jail, my brain would ask “what if you went to jail before?” when i have no memory of it. I try to connect dots to make myself relate in any negative way. another example would be if someone were to say “i dont like my sister” and i would say “what if i dont like MY sister???” when i dont have any problems with her. does anyone please have advice on what to do about this?

Another Reddit thread that I want to share with you all that I think is immensely helpful, especially for the ones that think they're just in denial and using HOCD as an excuse. Also for the record, I'm an actual homosexual female who has straight/bisexual OCD and I can verify that the OP is fully right. I couldn't have put it into words better myself. --- This is going to be in a heterosexual female’s POV, so it’s going to be slightly different from males, and the vice versa gay people who are afraid to be bisexual or straight. But the logic behind this is all the same. Also, this is not meant to be reassurance, but more of the knowledge that I’ve accumulated after having this experience which I wanted to put into words for a clearer understanding. If you want to remove this post it is totally fine. Gay people know they are gay since a young age. They feel attractions to the same sex, but they may try to hide it as they get older as they fear that their attractions might be wrong. But deep down, they know who they’re attracted to. Bisexual people also know that they’re attracted to both sexes. To gay and bisexual individuals, feeling attractions towards the same sex is very natural to them. And even though they might feel it’s wrong, they still can’t help but feel an attraction. They feel the need to hide a part of who they are, which is their sexual identity. To them, thoughts about the same sex are enjoyable and pleasurable, even though it might spark guilt, but the key difference between a HOCD sufferer and an actual gay or bisexual person is that they do not fear these thoughts. These thoughts for gays and bisexuals are ego-syntonic. Here is the definition of ego-syntonic from wikipedia: In psychoanalysis, egosyntonic refers to the behaviors, values, and feelings that are in harmony with or acceptable to the needs and goals of the ego, or consistent with one's ideal self-image. On the other hand, HOCD sufferers have ego-dystonic thoughts. Egodystonic (or ego alien[1]) is the opposite, referring to thoughts and behaviors (dreams, compulsions, desires, etc.) that are in conflict, or dissonant, with the needs and goals of the ego, or, further, in conflict with a person's ideal self-image. Let me clarify this part about morals and values part of pure obsessions. Gay and bisexuals may feel that it’s wrong to feel attractions, but those thoughts are acceptable to them because it’s their true feelings towards the same sex. It’s all about how you feel deep down inside. To HOCD sufferers, these thoughts are not pleasurable and causes them discomfort, disgust and fear. I feel that the main component of distinguishing the two is the fear. Why would you fear what you are attracted to? No matter how wrong and forbidden it is. I don’t know if you’ve ever been there, but it’s just like having “inappropriate” crushes. We know it’s wrong and forbidden to have feelings for them, but we can’t help it because we can’t help feeling attracted to them. So this is the case for gay and bisexual people. They might feel wrong and disgusted of themselves of feeling this way, but not disgusted at the thoughts themselves. And they do not fear those thoughts like HOCD sufferers do. Gay people, when questioning their identity, might feel like it’s always on their mind. However, they do not spend hours and hours ruminating and checking. They may constantly question themselves, but it is part of their conscious efforts to be questioning themselves. For HOCD sufferers, we get constantly bombarded with unwanted thoughts and images, and we try to avoid and fight them because we are fearful and disgusted by those thoughts, and then we get stuck in the thought patterns because the more we try to stop these thoughts, the more it stays on our mind. And then we ruminate on these thoughts and check to see if we are attracted to the same sex. So there is a difference between actually questioning one’s identity and having intrusive, obsessive unwanted thoughts and images that triggers compulsions. Gay people fear that they won’t be accepted by their family, friends and society. They don’t fear being gay. They might wish they were straight, but only because it is accepted in society. But overall, they still enjoy their same sex attractions. They are not afraid to be gay, they might just be ashamed to be gay and afraid of the rejection. HOCD sufferers fear that they might be gay. They start to panic that they might not be straight after all. It causes them negative feelings. Personally, I ended up crying when me, as a heterosexual female, can no longer be with men if I were to suddenly “turn” or “realise” that I am bisexual or lesbian. Because I desperately want to be with men, and I love being with men, it feels natural and it feels right for me. Losing that opportunity to be together with men and having to be with women, feels forced and not something I would want, which causes me to be upset and depressed. Even if I were bisexual, it wouldn’t stop me from being with men because it’s still attraction towards both sexes. But it seems like my HOCD is stopping me from being with men altogether. It’s so clear that you want to be with the opposite sex. Nonetheless, HOCD will still make you feel like you were somehow gay and need to start being with the same sex, which doesn’t bring happiness despite you being accepted by society, because that’s just not what you really want. When speaking of heteronormativity, it might force naturally gay people to have heterosexual attractions. Hence, they force themselves to date the opposite sex, sex and marriage. It feels like something that they must do, not what they want to. They might not mind going through the motions of it, but they do not enjoy it. I believe everyone is capable for caring and loving everyone, but in different ways. So they may love and care for the opposite sex platonically, but fail to habour romantic, sexual bonds and intimacy. And this is why eventually, people start coming out as gay and leave their opposite sex partners. For HOCD sufferers, we enjoy having relationships with the opposite sex. We are comfortable having emotional intimate bonds and sexual activities with the opposite sex. It is what we want and what fufils our desires. This is why crushes are so important to determining your sexual identity. It’s about how we feel towards each sex. Heterosexuals grow up naturally feeling attractions towards the opposite sex, developing crushes, which is the desire to be with someone special in the romantic and sexual sense, not just platonically. Homosexuals feel the same way, just towards the same sex instead. Bisexuals have it more fluid, hence it might be confusing, but nevertheless, they are fully aware that they like both sexes, even if they are at different times. They just feel that liking both genders are natural to them. But they never realize that they are also doing the same to us. With social media and influences, I wouldn’t say it’s a bad thing, especially if it’s helping actual gays and bisexuals come to terms with their sexuality and come out and feel accepted. But it has became a trend and some people even feel that it’s cool to be different in that sense. And they say that we straight people are homophobic when some of them also diss straight people, or saying gay is cool and straight is boring etc. And they are also trying to find ways to tell people to accept themselves, and although it is good to accept oneself, they can’t base their experiences off themselves and label someone else’s sexuality and tell them to accept themselves that they are gay unless they genuinely feel that and want to. When people talk about it’s not just a phase, I understand that those who have felt that it’s truly a part of them, well, it’s not a phase for them. But however, it might be a phase for some naturally curious individuals who wonder what it’s like, but it doesn’t reflect anything on their identities. Next, I want to talk about the difference between identity crushes and romantic crushes. As girls, I believe that we are more susceptible to comparison, especially with beauty standards. I am aware that some people who are confused about their identity may question if they want to be like her or be with her, and the bisexual or gays may end up saying that it’s both or mainly the latter. For straight people, it’s the former. We want to be like them. They’re our ideal types of how we want to be like, not our ideal types of who we want to be with. We want to be more feminine like them, prettier, curvier, more confident, popular etc. We admire them for the qualities they possess which we wish to mimic. However, we don’t desire anything more than that. For bisexuals and gays, perhaps they fantasize about kissing them, holding hands, loving them, having sex etc. And they feel natural about it. Back to the explanations at the front, they might feel bad about it but they don’t fear it the way HOCD sufferers do when we get struck by these kinds of thoughts which previously didn’t even occur to us pre-HOCD. Basically, we never thought of the same sex this way until HOCD struck. Whereas gays and bisexuals think about it since the beginning and again, feels natural. So side note here: it is normal to find the same sex attractive, without being attracted to them. The reason why we fear these attractions so much is because all our lives, we’ve been straight. We’ve been crushing on the opposite sex, enjoying relationships with the opposite sex, everything with the opposite sex. When we suddenly have thoughts about the same sex, we aren’t used to it. It doesn’t feel like us. Hence, it makes us fearful. What if I were to be attracted to so-and-so? Gay people don’t ask what if they were attracted to someone. They just naturally feel attracted to the same sex, and perhaps wonder why they feel this way. Also, sometimes, when relationships don’t go our way, we fear that maybe we weren’t meant to be straight. But I believe that I truly have not found the right guy yet. Just because you have had negative relationships with the opposite sex, doesn’t mean you’re going to become gay. Just because we are straight or gay, doesn’t mean that we are going to be compatible with everyone of the opposite or same sex. Just like we all have types, or at least, we don’t just feel attracted to just everyone so long as they’re of the same sex. My HOCD has made me believe that I’m attracted to all same sex people, of all ages, attractive or unattractive in my opinion. And therefore it doesn’t make any sense. Gay people don’t just like everyone of the same sex either. If you’re not suited with some people of the opposite sex, don’t worry, you’ll find the one someday. You won’t become gay just because someone’s not right for you. Now we’ll go on to porn habits. I know that many HOCD sufferers are triggered by porn. I realized porn at a very young age and they were solo videos of females, and they got me off. Not because I imagined having sex with them, but because I imagined having their bodies, which was my ideal body type to have, and feeling sexy like them, and seducing men. And that turned me on. Lesbian porn does not get me off, but I know many straight females who do get off to lesbian porn, because they relate to the pleasure way more because women understand women’s bodies better. Maybe they don’t like violence in heterosexual porn, but I do because I’m a submissive person. I heard that lesbian porn is more sensual. But other than that, I heard that women are easily aroused by all types of porn, gay or straight. But in real life, they are still attracted to men and want to be together with men. It’s natural to be curious when we were all younger, so even early childhood experiments does not signify anything, or say things we discovered on the internet, example, lesbian porn. It’s only more than curiosity if you feel compelled to take it further than just be curious. So the bicurious label is for those who actually want to experience more to see if they are straight or bisexual, but their curiosity is making them want to experiment further. If the curiosity never goes any further, you may just be sexually curious. For me personally, my fantasies are what we desire but can’t have. I have fantasies about men all the way, never women. But I can understand people who have same sex fantasies. Again, they might just be curious and wonder what it’s like. In our minds, we are free to explore anything and everything, which is amazing! But it doesn’t mean that we want to pursue it in real life. They say that sexuality is a spectrum, and rarely people are fully heterosexual or homosexual, but we still nonetheless, identify as heterosexual if we are mainly attracted towards the opposite sex, and homosexual if we are mainly attracted towards the same sex, and bisexual if the attraction towards both sexes are prominent enough, not necessarily equal, but prominent. In the end, it all boils down to yourself and your own happiness. You’re not forced to do anything against your will. It’s your thoughts that are forcing you to be something you’re not, something you don’t want to be, something that you fear. To me, labels are only important if you want to go out and pursue same sex relations, or if you feel attractions towards the same sex which feels like a part of you where you’ve hidden all your life. Then you come out. If you don’t like the same sex and don’t want to be with them, it should be as simple and straightforward as you’re just heterosexual. Being gay is not a choice but your actions are a choice. Just do whatever the heck makes you happy. Be with whoever you want to. If you’re straight, just be happy with the opposite sex. If you’re bisexual, be happy with both sexes. If you’re gay, be happy with the same sex. It’s just as simple as that! What’s the need for the constant troubling thoughts that does nothing but to haunt us and cause us immense anxiety and pain? There’s absolutely no need for that. You are not your thoughts. You are suffering from pure obsessions. You are not gay, nor bisexual. Your thoughts are not going to stop you from living the life the way you want to. You got to believe in that. I believe in you, that you can make it out of this mess. We are all in this together. I know that as sufferers, we still do tend to check and stuff. Please try your best not to. If you’re trying exposure therapy, it teaches you not to link with other’s experiences with your own. You don’t search things up only to confuse yourself even more. I know the thoughts are absolutely disturbing and hard to shake off, but please try your best to just accept these thoughts, so the mind eventually loses its natural fight-or-flight responses to your perceived dangers of your thoughts. If you don’t feed the thoughts, you don’t give them the power to control you any further and trigger you. It’s tough, there’s going to be relapses, but things will eventually get better. Credit: https://www.reddit.com/r/HOCD/comments/awq3r0/what_i_learnt_from_having_hocd_for_almost_a_year/

@sanzida? Hey, here we can chat

I have exams in this week, and after this end,i plan that i will buy myself an xbox or ps. I had the motivation to study because of that, i was happy, until today a random though and feeling ruind it. My though was that you don't need that, you won't be happy with that, you will be still sad,even that i don't was, but this made me... And my thoughs always want to persuade me that I have depression and i will always have... even that i know, and my therapist said it to, that i don't have, just a minimal, like i am more sensitive than others, but i not have deep depression... And sometimes my mind says that you have it and you never will feel happy, even that i was happy early today, but this ruind my day... Can this be OCD? OCD is only about "what if" questions, or OCD can make statements like "you don't deserve this, you won't be happy with that, or you will fail." Im just angry so bad, because I know that i want that console but this sh*t ruins it for me... and I always think when I'm like this that I will never feel gratitute and happyness, and than I freak out like omg why am i thinking like that, am i depressed?...

Unlike the most common types of OCD, my fears always come true. Let's take the easy example of turning off the stove 10 times just to be sure, it's all about the obession and compulsion. However my fear is to feel depersonalizated (i think i have this, not sure, for me it justfeels like being stabbed by 1000 knifes every second for weeks on end) so i try to avoid things that will make it happen. However, it keeps happening and it's devastating every single time, so much that i can't bear it at all. Your house catching fire likely won't come true, but me suffering intensely once i am triggered does, almost every single time, unless i somehow magically convince myself i just triggered myself and dp won't happen unless i let it by reacting strongly to the trigger. But it only worked like 5-6 times in my 4 years of suffering. I am still looking for a therapist to help me deal with this, but if anyone has any ideas as to what i could try or do i'd be grateful. Exposure doesn't work because the thing i am scared of comes true every time and i lose all control and cant think straight / really need guidance when it happens.

I just remembered I used to watch bestiality porn when I was younger, maybe around 11 or 12... maybe even child porn... should I bring this up with my therapist? I feel like a terrible person because of it but I dont know how to quite mention it because it's so disturbing and embarrassing.. I feel like a monster :(

Hello! I want to introduce myself, I am Pamela. I am currently pregnant 28 weeks. I have developed Harm OCD with myself and others. and I feel as if I have Pure OCD as well. I felt as though I was getting better but the thoughts have came back and they seem a lot more scarier. I feel like I can’t do this pregnancy thing and the whole family thing. I just recently quit my job because I can’t get adequate sleep at night anymore and My anxiety is soooo bad all the time, especially at work. I am also struggling with being afraid of developing what mental illness my mother had. I have been afraid of being possessed by a demon because I KNOW this isn’t me. I have always been scared of those kinds of things anyway, I had watched something with Jeffery Duhmer and a few other things and now I have been worried what if I’m like him , I used to think how could someone do those kinds of things and now I’m thinking what if I want to do those things?? what if I have no emotion? I haven’t been able to cry lately, i feel sort of numb and that also scares me because normally I would cry over a movie, or something silly. I want to cry, I want to be genuinely happy and I want to feel the way I did before I developed this terrible illness. I feel crazy to be even talking about my thoughts, and I feel stupid . I have started Zoloft maybe a month and a half ago and I am also worried that the medicine isn’t working properly and is making me worse. I haven’t stopped taking it but I definitely have thought about it. But I’m also worried that if I do stop taking it my anxiety and depression will get worse. Here lately I have been feeling like I will never get better and I just want to die, I have been wanting to birth this baby and just give her to my boyfriend and then go away , I don’t know where I’d go but I feel as though I don’t deserve to be here anymore. Im so tired , like exhausted but I keep pushing like I’m not. I keep pretending that I am happy. I don’t know what to do or where to start. Please someone help me in what I need to do to begin my journey, even though I’m completely and utterly terrified to do just about anything because I’m scared of triggering these thoughts , or even new ones .. Please I am really not looking for reassurance, I just wanted to share what I personally have been going threw, and I want options on what I should begin with to get better ?

Can I stop having intrusive thoughts saying how nothing matters no matter what thing I’m interested in or happy/excited about pops up? I still do the things I like, I have my interests and ideas for fun, but it’s scary and annoying to have these unwanted thoughts and feelings show up saying how none of that maters, who cares, it doesn’t mean anything, and that this life has nothing meaningful or real to offer and how do I even know if I’m actually real (existential ocd) that I should kill myself because of it (suicidal ocd). These themes are awful and I just want to live my life, be surrounded by peace and happiness, and have these scary and fearful thoughts leave me alone!