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Y’all this is dumb but I’ve been looking into the past about early signs of ocd and I wanted to see if these things were ocd related or you experienced them. I feel like it may be obvious but here goes lmao TW for counting and possible scrupulosity? talking about demons and shit The thing that stands out to me the most are counting my steps when outside or in my house between sidewalk blocks and thresholds in my home. I would see other people not step in a block an even amount of times and be agitated or I would nearly trip and die trying to make sure I stepped in the sidewalk block just the right amount of times. I remember counting one day on my way to the bus stop for school and knowing that I didn’t do it right but I pushed forward anyway. I ended up going back because it distressed me knowing I didn’t do it right so I went and did it until it evened out. This went on well into high school and probably now without me noticing. In my dorm I would have to turn off the bathroom light and shut the door a certain way or a demon or ghost would be upset. The shower curtain had to be closed when I got out a certain way or it would be “a sign”. Even sometimes now (i think I lessened it some when I realized it might be a compulsion) that I would have to step between cabinets or around the kitchen a certain amount of times before the microwave got to a certain number or I would have to sell my soul to the devil. Anyway I’m not sure entirely if this was ocd or if I was obsessed with paranormal stuff and it just formulated that way? Or maybe both? Idk but lmk how u feel lol

Was with my boyfriend last night and suddenly thought about squeezing boobs, like squeezing his chest like they were breasts. I am equally afraid and feel like I’m turned on by it. Going to try to channel this into ERP

OCD attacks what you value most, which means you end up neglecting/avoiding what you value most. The way to recover is to return back to your values. What does your OCD attack the most—what do you value most?

Ive been doing really well! With each day the anxiety lessens, and the thoughts have less significance in my life. I hope this carry’s on because I love the feeling of when I haven’t thought about it in a while and then I’m like wow! There’s still some doubt that I’m just lying to myself and everyone else, but it’s way less than before. Stay strong everyone!!

Someone here has Maladaptive Daydreaming?

How does a gronial feel for you all? I got a gronial when I thought I was in denial :(

I'm think I have OCD, I'm convinced. I'm 16 years old. Quite often I end up late to school because of my rituals for Checking OCD. I'm also bisexual and closeted to parents so that makes it harder

Just had the best ERP session wow it works so well

Okay so basically, now that my HOCD is gone...I’ve actually discovered on the side that I’m bisexual!

I would love to hear more experiences from people about telling family about their OCD and associated symptoms. I don’t tell them because they would only worry, and I know I am the best one in a position to help myself. What have your experiences been telling family about your OCD?

How does anxiety show up for you all? Recently realized mine comes in the form of increased body temperature and nausea

A few months ago, I randomly started developing obsessive complusions. It came on so suddenly that it made me question if I was just making it up. I do not remember anything in my childhood of me acting this way, all I knew was that I was a perfectionist, who liked to keep everything clean, however I do not at all remember this being linked to a complusion I had to do because of anxiety. I have also had fears but never acted on them until recently. My first complusion like I said started a few months ago and it was regarding social media. I guess you can say I am a cautious person who gets paranoid easily, I remember being afraid that somebody would hack my account or that I would accidentally post something without knowing. This caused me a great deal of anxiety and I found myself constantly reloading my page more than several times to make sure nothing was posted before I went out of my account. I would do this 6 times because that is how many family members I have and I would sometimes get random intrusive thoughts that were unrelated to my fear telling me that if I wouldn't do it that many times something would happen to them, so I did and after doing it 6 times, my mind would tell me to do it another 6 times, just to make sure. That lead me to do it another 6 times and so on. I would do this until it felt 'right' or until my mind left me alone. This made me feel drained as I was spending my time doing this when I didn't want to. I would also log out of my account or turn the internet or the power of my phone off just because I was still paranoid. It got to a day that I had a breakdown because it felt overwhelming. I have overly strict parents who rarely let me go out so I would communicate with my friends through social platforms and since I didn't have anything 'fun' to do, I would just browse through posts etc. I decided with the help of my sister that it was defiently time to delete my account for the best of my wellbeing. Once doing that I improved alot and my complusion disappeared. I thought it would of been the end of it but I was wrong because I found myself developing more. I remember when I used to read or watch tv shows with subtitles, I would miss a sentence because I was too slow to read, so I would go back check. Once I realised what it had said, I found myself going back to read the same sentence multiple times because my mind would say the same thing about my family being in danger if I hadn't, so I kept doing it over and over. I don't watch shows that often or read much anymore so it disappeared. I then would check doors each night as I was frightened of an intruder breaking in, I would stare at the lock for a while even though my mother checks it each night before me. I still have this but the symptoms are very minimum. I also checked switches to see if they were off each night before going to bed. My very recent complusion has been bothering me the most because it is one I started having a few weeks ago and it is relating to germs. Everytime I go to the toilet, I have to wipe the toilet seat a couple of times and if my finger touched it, I would start again. I was afraid that i might give a disease to my family members or get one myself. I would do it until it felt alright to stop. I would only to these complusions for at least 1-4 minutes so it was mild but it would cause me alot of distress and I was unable to control them successfully because I would go back to performing them. I think I'm starting to avoid going to the toilet because I do not want to perform this complsuion. I now have to hand sanitise things I touch that belong to my family members because of the anxiety that fills my head. I develop small ones now when im doing day to day tasks. I am thinking of going to therapy soon but I am trying not to procrastinate on it because I also have to talk about other things that have been making me feel sad lately. Does this sound like ocd?

Who else tends to take things others say personally and are very sensitive to criticism?

What did you enjoy and not enjoy about Exposure and Response Prevention therapy?

Maybe TW! It’s really hard because I actually do genuinely get turned on my women’s bodies. Not just ‘average’ women... mainly just the really sexualised ones. And it’s hard because even though I don’t wanna have sex with a woman, these thoughts make me feel like I do. Because I ask myself if I was offered to have sex with a (sorry maybe tmi) big boobed woman, would I? And I don’t even feel like this answer is no. So what, I’d have sex with a woman?? It’s so scary. Not really sure what to do

I definitely feel like I have a rare form of OCD. I am so uncomfortable talking about it , but I feel like I should get it out , I need to get it out . My compulsions are avoiding looking at people , eating food . Not wanting to cook, not wanting to go out, not wanting to be alone with people. But I obviously still do these things. But best believe I don’t want to ... I don’t know what to think anymore , like it feels like when I look myself in the eyes I don’t recognize myself ... I don’t find ANYTHING interesting anymore. Because literally everything that I do I still have thoughts ... i feel like I have a serious case , and when I think about death for me , it makes me feel like I’ll be set free from this mental distress. But I don’t want to die , I want to enjoy my life. But I don’t and feel like I can’t enjoy my life feeling like I’m going to attack someone all the time . Feeling like I’ll lose my mind all the time . I hate this for my bf and my family and my kids , they don’t deserve this . Feeling like I don’t love ANYONE, not even myself , not even my baby in my stomach. I can’t think see my future anymore ... like I used to be able to , I wanted my job , and I wanted to be this healthy amazing mother and wife one day but now I just don’t see it anymore , and then in my head it tells me is it because I want to kill people and or animals? And eat them? Please no judging , so yes I said eat them.. it feels sick to me. I had not been wanting to eat , and my head was telling me it’s because I want to eat people . Wow it sounds so weird typing that . There is soooo much more to my weird thoughts , like I was feeling like I had been doing okay not to long ago , and then it came back to me felt wayyyy stronger.. I know this sounds so ignorant but my sister had told me that she had ate her poop before , and tasted her pee, and now I am thinking I will try poop ... i hate seeing poop because I think I will just pick it up and eat it. I wish I could write this alllll out but it’s to much . I do wanna say one thing that has been bothering me a lot. When people are having problems it’s like I don’t care and I just think kill them , I don’t like when people talk about other people because I had this thought that if you don’t like someone and they are causing you problems then you wanna hurt them . I’m scared of my thoughts and I’m scared I’ll blurt out my thoughts ... please no one feel sorry for me . I hate that , I hate feeling sorry for myself . I want to talk to someone about ALL my problems . I need a Therapy but absolutely terrified:(

What if I just don’t wanna date a girl cause it’s not the norm?? Like I feel like me being uncomfortable and getting anxiety while touching a girls waist (for like a photo) is proof that I’m attracted to girls It just makes me so uncomfortable But I can hug a girl completely fine and feel nothing But once I touch a girls waist I freak out and not in a good way. Like I wanna cry and I’m scared I would want to date a girl But I can’t even see myself dating a girl!! And I’m scared that’s because of internalized homophobia and because it’s not the social norm and boys are naturally ingrained in my head as I can only see myself with them And I want a boyfriend but I’m scared I won’t like it cause I’m secretly a lesbian And like my head is trying to force me to become a lesbian and I’m refusing it cause I DONT WANT IT I don’t even know why I don’t want it so badly cause I wanna be with a guy and have that happily ever after (I know that can be with a girl) but I want a guy to make me feel like a princess. Since I was a little girl it was like that and now I feel this is changing what I always wanted. I feel like this is denial but I also don’t because I don’t wanna be with a girl and I’m just uncomfortable with the idea of touching a girl romantically like it gives me a wave of anxiety and I don’t think being gay should be looked down upon cause it’s not a big deal But it’s like everything I want is just trying to be changed and I’m scared I’ll never get what I want Cause I don’t wanna end up with a girl, just the thought is giving me anxiety I wanna end up with a guy, but I feel like that’s impossible cause I’m lesbian (I don’t think so tho) Ugh I wanna cry

I know this sounds absolutely nuts, but has anyone ever requested CCTV camera footage from say like a bar for reassurance? Or has thought of wanting to?

Literally don’t know where to start with my weight. I’m 5ft 6 and weigh 154lbs (11stone). I want to weigh 126 again. I dunno whether to get liposuction or not? Normal weight loss doesn’t work and starving is all that ever gave me results but even that seems too slow. My boyfriend swears I don’t look any different but I know I put a stone and a half on since we met. I have savings but I wanted that for a house one day. I can’t stop obsessing over how much I fucking detest my body lately and how much better all other women are that are obviously thinner than I am - EVEN women who have had babies and I haven’t. I have no business being bigger than someone who has had fucking children. How did I let this happen? I am repulsed by myself. I don’t even cry I just feel pure rage at it.

When my HOCD really kicked in I feel like I was never attracted to girls, my brain makes me feel like it is a lie and that I will be better off gay. I am not a masculine masculine male I am more feminine I guess which my brain uses against me as evidence that I am gay. Anyone else experience the decrease in attraction and your brain using parts of who you are as evidence you are gay?