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the NOCD Community

Does anyone want to share their thoughts on Relationship OCD? I am new here and have obsessive jealousy (ie I obsess that my partner is always cheating on me and have to check on him constantly). It’s really been hard on me and my boyfriend and I’m struggling to do the exposures..

Dear fellow OCD Warriors: I wanted to tell you about a victory I had tonight. I had to repair a bird feeder that a raccoon knocked down. I of course concluded that the raccoon had rabies and that I would get rabies by touching the bird feeder. I’ll admit that I washed my hands more than I should have BUT I did not take a shower (even though I really wanted to)! This win felt really good and it was nice not wasting time taking a shower. Would you please share a victory you had recently?

Anyone else have purely obsessional Ocd and has issues with “checking” by replaying conversations and events and exploring all possible worst case possibilities in their head incessantly?. Experiencing this with work right now and could really use some support in this moment.

New to the group! I’m 38 and have had OCD since I was 8 (officially diagnosed at 34). My OCD used to revolve around order and cleaning. In the last year it developed into a chronic series of intrusive thoughts centered around parasites. Lice, bed bugs, fleas....you know it. I’m constantly checking beds, hair any surface. I’m now on my umpteenth attempt with medication and cognitive behavioral therapy. I feel like I’m the only person with these irrational sets of intrusive thoughts. It’s embarrassing and isolating. Anyone here who has a similar fear or focused fear that triggers their ocd?

Hello everyone! (Existential Obsessions) I have struggled with anxiety since I was a young boy. I remember worrying when I was younger that I was inadvertently trying to harm my mother, even though I love my mother more than anyone in the world. It’s shifted more times than I can count, from worrying about poisoning or contamination to thinking that I had heart disease. It’s all the same animal just shape shifting into whatever I fear most at the given time. Currently, (trigger warning) I am constantly obsessed with the fear of developing some sort of delusion or schizophrenia. I am 25 years old (I know that it would’ve probably developed by now) and have no schizophrenia in my gene pool. But I am constantly checking my thoughts to see if they sound delusional or if I am hallucinating my reality. This of course if extremely frustrating for someone with OCD because there is never going to be any definitive proof that I am not going mad. It has caused me extreme discomfort over the past few months and has brought me to extreme states of panic. I was wondering if any of you deal with existential OCD or fears of losing touch with reality. Of course, some days this seems laughable and others I can almost taste the insanity. On paper, everything in my life is going amazingly but in truth I can’t seem to enjoy any of it because I have these nightmarish intrusions of everything falling apart around me. Is this a common symptom? P.S I already run a few miles a day, meditate, do yoga and am working on strengthening my CBT. Any other suggestions?

I’m currently on holiday and I’m staying with a friend I haven’t seen in a long time. My HOCD has returned and spiked again!!! I keep having urges to check for attraction again and intrusive thoughts about being gay again! I haven’t had this theme in 4 months and now it’s fighting back again! What do I do?!

So, I’m gay, but I have obsessive thoughts about being straight. The idea of being with a man is not something that I find appealing, but a mix of OCD and compulsory heterosexuality causes a lot of anxiety for me. Does anyone else have similar issues? If so, do you have any advice on how to cope?

What type of OCD do you wish people talked about more? What type of OCD deserves more attention?

Does anyone ever think about how long will it take your ocd symptoms to go away. Like just to live one day like someone without ocd? I really want my journey to come to an end and I want to get on with my life. ? Anyone feel me?

I always think that when I give someone something, like cash to a cashier, a card, something like that, that it has something bad on it. Like some secret I know about them, something where I talked or wrote something bad about the person I gave it to you, and they’ll be mad. It makes it very hard to send mail, or give anyone anything. I worry for hours they’ll see it and hate me.

This is quite a private thing to say here but recently I can no longer wear tampons because my anxiety kicks off as I can’t stop thinking about infections or it getting stuck when I’ve got one in.

I’ve just downloaded the app because I’ve had a very bad break down in front of my best friends because of a trigger regarding a social obsession that I have a lot of trouble with. And I regret that this isn’t the first time but it’s been a little over 6 months since the last one in front of them. This break down has caused a lot strain between us, and they feel as if I’ve unfairly blamed them for something even though I’ve tried to explain that I understand my emotional reaction was not rational given the situation, and that I don’t in fact blame them for anything and that I feel horrible for the situation itself and not being able to be normal during it rather than them. I think it’s difficult for anyone without OCD to understand how this feels so I can’t blame them for being upset with me. My question to anyone who doesn’t mind sharing is, if anyone has had a lot of strain caused on the relationships with your loved ones, were you able to repair it? And if so could you please give me tips on how you managed to explain your situation to them?

Why do you think OCD is so misunderstood? We wrote a good post on this topic:

I’m tired of no one understanding what being obsessive means, as well if their hurtful judgements and lack of comprehension about our behavior ignoring completely that we are only doing our best... ironically our best..

Hi EVERYONE. My FIRST post on here. I follow and participate in all treat my ocds pages. They are GREAT. The severe onset of my ocd started when my father had a severe heart attack 16 years ago and I almost lost him. I then started incessantly worrying about his safety and texting and calling him constantly. My obsessions then also turned in compulsions and doing things to counteract my thoughts thinking it if I didn’t do those things that my father would die. It lasted for approx 10 years. Then it turned into worrying about my spouses safety. And overall I began obsessing about death, safety, and fire. I’d constantly check things. About 3 years ago I started going to therapy and taking a low dose of lexapro. It started helping slowly. The only problem was that I found that once I was able to rid of those obsessive and intrusive thoughts, new ones arose. I then became obsessive about other things and very anxious. For instance, if I’d text my best friend and she didn’t respond, I’d think I said something wrong and she was mad at me. My brain would race until she texted me back thinking I did something wrong or if I couldn’t take the anxiety anymore I would text again and then say something unintentionally to get her upset or frustrated. I almost lost her friendship multiple times. She encouraged me to go back to therapy and learn coping skills and gain confidence in the good person that I am. I am grateful that she is in my life and such a strong support system for me. It has been a tough friendship but she helps keep me in check and has taught me that sometimes people can’t answer “on my time” or as fast as I “want”. We had a long talk one day, and when we got a mutual understanding of each other and each other’s lives, everything changed for the better/ when she realized that my obsessive nature wasn’t geared towards her but rather an obsessive nature in general it made her feel better. Sometimes we fixate on people or things for an unknown reason. I’m happy to say I’m 90 percent better thanks to therapy and my friends help. I still worry and my brain still races at times but I have learned how to better cope and when that doesn’t work, I get ahold of my friend and she calms me down. A great support system is key. It’s such a great help. If the stigma of ocd wasn’t derogatory or looked upon as either a fictitious disorder, I would have seeked helped sooner but the fear of being mocked was overwhelming. Especially being in the psychology field, and seeing and understanding many disorders, I see what people deal with every day. It’s easy for outsiders to judge. We have to be strong and remember that we may have ocd but ocd doesn’t DEFINE US! Be strong everyone!!!!!

Greetings! This is my first post and I thought I’d take a quick moment to introduce myself. I am a 41 year-old male from the United States and I have been living with OCD since first being diagnosed at age 11. My symptoms were light and manageable until I reached my mid-to-late teens and my parents marriage went through turmoil. Before I knew it, I was plagued by contamination thoughts. I was afraid of contracting HIV through contact with stray, used hypodermic needles. That one plagued me for a lot of years (and continues to do so to a lesser extent than it did when it first originated). In conjunction with that, I also developed Pedophilia OCD. It was pretty benign for a lot of years, and then about 5 years ago it came on with a vengeance. It was around this time that I first attended therapy which focused on treating the OCD symptoms through ERP. Unfortunately, the two therapists I had weren’t very good at administering the therapy, but I was fortunate enough to be introduced to it. About 3 years ago I developed Harm OCD. Much like the PedophilIa OCD, the Harm OCD focused not on the potential that I could do harm to someone, but, instead, it focused on the “what if” I did something in the past and I suppressed it. I can’t tell you how many hours over the past five years I have mentally reviewed (to the point of exhaustion) certain moments of my life to gain clarity (read: “certainty”) about what actually happened just to feel better. Does anyone experience OCD in this way? Does anyone else worry they’ve done something bad in the past that will eventually catch up with them in the future? I’m not looking for reassurance here, just to know that I’m not alone, and maybe learn how to cope a bit better with it on the difficult days. As far as what I’m doing to manage the OCD today, I’m really digging in and just beginning to understand ERP and ACT. I would like to adopt those therapies and embody them (along with other healthy habits) because I really do want to commit to recovery. Thank you all very much for reading my story. I look forward to getting to know everyone and being part of a healthy community.

Feeling so low right now. If only was a switch to turn my brain off! Coming up to swim. Week isolated and trying to work my feelings out and still no closer! My partner been so patient as I can’t even see it speak to him, but I just don’t know how I feel! About anything! No answers have come from my time alone, another counselling session tomorrow, if only they could climb in your head physically and extract all the negative and constant worry and fear and am I doing the right thing? What if am not! What if I was but now regret it! Hell I can’t even choose something to wear as it’s to tough a decision! Stay in pjs or throw first thing handy to out daughter in school! No pride in my appearance at mo! Usually made up etc but don’t even know where my make up is it’s been so long! I feel so alone and unable to process and talk! Smiling for the children is draining! But necessary! This time of night is the worst! Xxx how is everybody else doing? Xx

For those with relationship OCD, how do you distinguish what’s “real” and what’s not? I’m new to discovering that I have ROCD, and I don’t know how I will know if there are “real issues” if I obsess over everything.

How did everyone’s day go today? It can be a strange life living each day with OCD, that’s for sure. It feels good to know that there’s others here in this group who understand though..

Does anybody struggle with POCD? I’m putting things into place lately to let my thoughts be there and not having to listen to them and I do admit I feel a little better and the thoughts are less and anxiety it less when I’m around people but there’s an urge in the back of my mind to ‘make sure’ and to think and analyse about things just to ‘check’ I definitely know for certain that this isn’t true, this is making recovery quite hard! Any tips please? Also I find sometimes reading things on google can be unhelpful and disheartening, which I need to stop doing! Thanks for reading ?