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the NOCD Community

I’m thinking of trying weed edibles, but I wanted to ask if anyone here had tried them? What were your experiences like? I’m just a little apprehensive at the moment because I’m concerned I’ll feel more anxiety.

Can someone please talk to me? I really need to talk about my relationship OCD. So on Reddit I posted on an Asperger's sub to get some advice and insight on how I should treat him. There's this lady that keeps saying that since him and I are in our mid teens we won't actually last and that we will be fleeting. I cried reading her messages like it hurts so much because im already so anxious Now I'm obsessed that he is just in an infactuation with me and wants me only for my body like previous guys that have liked me. He told me he really does love me but I can't believe it, I don't know if it's OCD or trusts issues or both. I'm trying to sit with the uncertainty but I end up crying every time I get the thought of actually losing him. I'm trying to do my normal ACT plan but I can't because of stress from school. Please help :(

A bit of a vent with SOCD, ROCD and others I’ve struggled through so many forms of OCD before since I was maybe 11 or 12.. I’m 17 now. Harm OCD and POCD most notably affected me badly. On top of those though, Sexual Orientation OCD has just not let up in previous years. One of my thoughts was like “what if I just have general anxiety disorder and not OCD?” I did some Googling (highly suggest not doing that), and it said that OCD sufferers latch on to unrealistic things whereas with anxiety, the concerns are more realistic. That scared me, because I was like, well then if you just have GAD, that means you really are gay. Most people who suffer with SOCD do not see being gay as wrong. To me the fear and distress is not at ALL the same feeling as fears of killing a loved one or becoming a pedophile, because people all the time struggle with their sexual identity. So in a sense, unlike being a murderer or pedophile, this is something that often happens and isn’t irrational at all, and is not horrific in any way. On a side note, I’m also Catholic, but completely supportive of the LGBTQ+ community. I truly believe love is love and people should just be treated as people. It makes me sad because feeling supportive of the community makes me feel uneasy as though I’d want to identify within the community and am just saying I’m an ally, when I’m in denial. I just want to give my full fledged support without feeling so anxious. Anyways, I think there’s no need for hate 94 bigotry because God created people in His image. But I know not all people who are Christian view that in that way, and this has also triggered my SOCD because I’m like why do I feel so anxious about any religious topics? Is that because I’m trying to justify what’s going in my head so I can come to terms with what my thoughts are saying? And if God creates people in his image, then just come to terms with what your brain is saying you are. I can’t even type everything out word for word because it makes me so anxious. I also feel anxious about future relationships. Whenever my friends talk about a boy or being in a relationship, it gives me this pit of anxiety as though I’m keeping something from them. How do people with OCD even approach relationships? It doesn’t help that I ended talking to someone I was with for so many months because the ROCD/SOCD would not leave me alone and I felt I was being unfair to him. This makes me so sad to post. I feel so tired lol. My first session is on Monday, though, but I’m worried it’ll just bring me to a new found realization of myself that I was running away from. I’m not asking for reassurance, because I know it can be dangerous. But honestly writing this, I probably hoped I would get it. But right now, I think I’d just like some prayer and encouragement.

does anyone have a history of POCD overcoming?

I keep seeing things about how antidepressants and SSRIs long term is dangerous and bad. With post symptoms that sometimes never go away (such as post-med Sexual distinction for life) then I saw this one today while researching meds. https://news.sky.com/story/long-term-use-of-antidepressants-could-cause-permanent-damage-doctors-warn-11688430 I got done with ocd treatment on here and ocd has gotten a bit better but now now what’s left over is my major depressive disorder and I am so depressed that I can’t function and I have lost all hope, can’t survive off of meds but don’t want to go back on because of all the bad shit and having to go through withdrawal again after 2 years on something just to do it all again???? I don’t want to keep trying new meds and new meds and see which one doesn’t effect sex drive and see which one that doesn’t have bad withdrawals or dangers like post chronic symptoms. Clearly they all have risks of chronic issues and I already have enough mental illnesses to deal with I don’t want more issues just bc I need meds to function .. Plus no one ever answers me on here it’s not like I’ll even get a reply to this one either it’s like talking to a wall

I need help, I just canttttt , my thoughtss are going crazy in my mindd????. I always become strong to go through them but in these moments I can not, I just want to cry, I give up as if I have nothing to do with. These thoughts are commanding me??

anyone else feel like they’d be happier if they just lived in a mental hospital or something?

Hi people! Okay so I got this app back almost after a month after kind of beating homosexual ocd. I personally realized something very great about myself and I honestly couldn't be more content. I still have it but it doesn't greatly affect me since now I finally have a boyfriend. Ever since I started a relationship with him, my anxiety and urges to cry have increased. I get these awful thoughts like -what if he leaves you?- -what if he finds a girl prettier than you?- -he is lying just like your previous bf, he will leave you within a month- -you will never last with and only ruin him and his mental health- -Do you really like him? Are you forcing yourself because he confessed to you first?- -you won't defos end up with him- -he is only treating you nice for his own benefit- -he might leave you like the ASD guys you hard about- These are a few I've gotten and Idk if I've developed the relationship theme. For the past few days I've been crying at the thoughts because ik there's an uncertainty and that I might ruin him with my anxiety, OCD and BDD. He has Asperger's and I try my best to not directly tell him about my mental health. I really don't want to stress him with my problems. My thoughts aren't normallu about cheating on him but more on if he likes me truly and if we will ever last I've been reassuring myself a lot and I'm also getting triggered by various things. I'm planning to do ACT for all of this so I hope that helps. Thank you for coming to my rant. I really hope you guys get better. Love y'all ?

Does anyone on here have problems with just intrusive feelings? Like anxiety really bad and you don't necessarily know why you're feeling anxiety. You just know it's super intense. Almost like OCD has given up the obsession. And now you're just feeling anxiety all the time. Any suggestions on how to cope with this? I feel I'm at wits end. Cuz I don't know how to deal with all the tricks that's being handed to me. Please. If you have some good suggestions on how to deal with just the anxiety. Thanks in advance. I tried to observe the feelings and sit with just the feeling of anxiety. But it seems to last so long. I don't know what to do. All day it lasts.

Real Event OCD TW Please help me I dont want to self harm myself As I read an article about sibling abuse I was talking with a guy on tiwtch while I am streaming. I talked about what I did when I was younger with my sister. I abused my older sister as far as I remember. But my mom says : you did nothing and even if you did its in the past. My sister has forgiven me but I cant. I cant even tell what is true or false. I am scared of myself. I hate myself and I want to hurt myself again as self punishment. I will call my suicide hotline in my country its 188 so no need to worry. Somebody help me.

Saw a post about saying stop dehumanizing Hitler just so you can reassurance yourself normal people aren't capable of doing terrible things. This triggered me bad, because of my harm thoughts. I don't want to be anything terrible especially someone like him. My head feels so foggy from thinking

My head has been spinning and it's worse rn. Ive been trying to go vegan/ vegetarian and looked up how to be vegan if you have a dog who eats meat. And it had like two sides, some said switch to vegan dog food to stop farm animal suffering and then others said they let their dogs eat dog food because they are meat eaters. I'm so confused on what to do, my head feels so foggy and my head is racing

Just a quick anxiety episode: I just posted some hw for a psychology class and I think I did a pretty good job. Its been 5 yrs of college and I know my brain is burned out at this time & my expression has been okay at most. I dont ever care about 'likes' or replies but i looked to see how many people commented on my assignment. None. I posted my hw earlier & we all have to reply to 2 others in the class. Then i look over at another student's work and its nicely formated & neat. 4 replies. Suddenly, this anxiety kicks in....her's is better than mine......im not enough....my work is not enough......im not enough.....I know for SURE how to become a better writer. I know how to better my abilities, I know how they've included examples and the text and I know im stressed with finals but this feeling under my rib cage is soft but there. I think, just deep down inside.....whwn faced with my best or 90%, somehow, someway, i dont ever feel adequate.

At this point I feel like it's not OCD. I'm sure I'm bisexual in denial but I cannot accept it. Like my attraction to men has made me semi-even happy at one point and I actually seem to now like the idea of being with a specific guy whereas I hate being with any other guy. And some guys make my doubt my claim of I would never be happy with a man. My mind is saying I only do not want to marry a guy because that's lowkey "basic" and I hate it. I hate saying I'm attracted to men, I hate saying that I am aroused by them, I hate saying that I maybe wouldn't mind having sex with them and maybe even enjoy it despite not being imagine a sexual scenario with a guy that isn't rape, I hate saying that I wanted to kiss a guy. It feels like I'm lying, that this is not me, I would never say those things. And at the back of my mind I feel like homosexuality is my reality. But that's denial. The more I look at those guys I am attracted or was attracted to the more I hate them. And yet, I am not a lesbian. I still do not feel like removing it all from my life. I do not want to drop something that felt so true, satisfying to me but I will have to. It just will take time to finally stop once and for all. I just despise the implication that I could ever be even remotely, 0.1% interested in a guy because it doesn't feel true and yet it is. I only ate one cookie the entire day today. I do not want to be bisexual. I hate being bisexual. I do not want the association that I like men. Even if I do not have to ever be with them I do not like the label. At all. I need help.

Hello. It's been two years since I lost my aesthetic attraction to women almost entirely (let's say 90%). My psychiatrist tells me that it will come back as it was before, I read testimonies, talked with people who said the same thing. I'm not really afraid that it won't come back like before, I almost don't test myself anymore (in two weeks, it must have happened twice on an actress I thought was beautiful, and no aesthetic attraction came back, I found her ugly :c). I guess nothing comes back because I'm under some kind of pressure? After all I want it to come back as before...  I'm not thinking consciously about the loss of aesthetic attraction, but I know I'm thinking about it in the same time I do something. I'm not afraid anymore of turning gay, I know it's not the case. My question are these: How do you get rid of that pressure? How do you take the pressure off? I want my life back, my life where I could spend days looking at girls and finding them pretty... I miss it so much.

is it true that no amount of anxiety can change the future?

A year ago I made a paper about how I overcome some symptoms of HOCD, I hope it will help some people: I made this paper to help people overcome their symptoms as I was able to do. So it will be a list of my symptoms and solutions that have worked for me to overcome them. Doubts : Not paying attention to it they aren't legit doubts, it's OCD. A legit doubt will be accompanied by a true desire.Groinal responses : Not paying attention to it, there is no desire, so it's OCD.False attraction : Not paying attention to it, there is no desire, so it's OCD.Intrusives thoughts/images : Not paying attention to it, there is no desire, so it's OCD.Testing your sexual orientation in your head (by scenarios or other things) : Stop doing it, it will not work.Testing your reactions about member of the not desired sex : Stop doing it. The more you test, the more likely you are to have a reaction, not because you are excited but because you focus on the genital area, it is worse if you check physically.Fear of becoming gay : Firstly, not paying attention to it, there is no desire of men, so it's OCD. Secondly, a bit of education, sexual orientation can't changes overtime. I repeat : SEXUAL ORIENTATION CAN'T CHANGES OVERTIME. On the other hand, the sexual identity can change. Let me explain :  Sexual orientation is defined as a physical, sexual, emotional and romantic attraction to people of one or more particular sexes or genders. This is the sexual orientation. So, if you are a man attracted to women, you're straight. That's your sexual orientation. And you will choose to define yourself as heterosexual: it is your sexual identity. Let's keep this example of a man but let's change it a little. This man has never liked girls, has always had his eyes on boys, but defines himself as heterosexual. Is it straight? No, but it will define itself as such. Then one day, he will realize that he is using the wrong term and will choose to use another term: gay. Has he changed his sexual orientation? No, he just changed labels. This is called sexual fluidity. When people tell you that sexuality is fluid, they talk about it.Fear of being so deeply in denial that you won't know it: Not paying attention: it's not possible. And you're going to tell me: but you didn't mention anxiety? I didn't mention it because it's the anxiety that produces it. Anxiety produces doubts and symptoms. We have to get rid of it first to make things better. After a while, the symptoms no longer bother us and gradually they disappear. You may wonder why I didn't mention any other symptoms:  First because these are the most frequent cases I have had, and second because each case is different. I repeat: EVERY CASE IS DIFFERENT! And this is a list of thing I was going through: rentry.co/HOCDSymptoms

Today is a really difficult today. Maybe it doesn't seem so to other people, but it's extremely difficult for me. I feel like I'm trying to sober myself up after a really long and crazy night. I woke up with a great disgust and shame, and I can't stop analysing my feelings and thoughts. For those who don't know, last night I experienced an urge to hurt my younger brother while he was asleep in my room. The most frightening part is that it felt like I really wanted to do it. Of course, he is fine, I would never hurt him. A couple of days ago I thought I could do it but I was so wrong. I'm back at it. All I want is to stay in bed and face noone. I'm a terrible human being. A terrible sister. Daughter. And friend. Thanks to myself for ruining my life.

Boy am I going through it at the moment! I have been struggling tremendously with my ROCD. Me and my boyfriend have been through hell and back this quarantine. My OCD completely kicked in full force and my relationship just completely has been effected to the max. At times I get scared it permanently got damaged and can’t be fixed. My boyfriend and I struggled with about 5 deaths this quarantine. One being his bestfriend along with 3 other friends and I lost an uncle. We’ve been struggling both with our mental health, money, jobs, communication, etc. To make things worse his anxiety went up the same time my OCD went through a major spike and that completely took us through a whirl wind. This is also his first real relationship so there’s certain things that we bump heads on because he’s just learning or getting used to. This is my first healthy relationship so it triggers the hell out of my ROCD. At times it feels like he’s almost manipulating me (my obsession at the moment) because he’s such a nice person to everyone and tries to make everyone happy and I’m just so used to seeing on social media and friends around me that them being nice to everyone is just weird and have a bad meaning behind it. He likes complimenting people to uplift them and we talked about it today a bit more and he told me he just always wants people to feel good when he sees they’re down because he never had that growing up and he said he knows how it feels so he always tries to be nice to everyone but I’ve just dealt with so much manipulation and exes that flirted with everyone that to me it seems so much like a threat ( I’m actually freaking out as I type this). He also at times misunderstands what I say and I misunderstand what he says because details get left unsaid. For example, today we also talked about how he wishes we could backtrack and start fresh and that completely set me off. I took it the wrong way and started spiraling. I saw it as if he regretted our relationship up to that point and that he disliked how we were doing things at the moment and that our foundation wasn’t stable enough. He ended up later on explaining to me that he meant it as in he wished to just treat me way better than what he initially started with. He said he felt he only gave me half of what he was capable of and that he wished to give me more. He said he only felt he gave me half of what he was capable of because he felt we moved too fast, he was just so excited about his first relationship that he wanted to do everything right away. I then told him he could still do that without starting from the beginning. We both agreed on that but my mind remained on the negative thoughts like always. I just view everything negative and I know it’s not my fault I just can’t help it. We’ve been dating close to 8 months now but it feels like more with everything we’ve been through already. I see it in a positive way though, I know mostly anything wont get in the way of us anymore. We’ve decided to just let go of past traumas and move forward.

I am third year Med student and due to OCD I AM notable to focus on my studies Please guide me?