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I can’t no matter how much I try to ignore the thoughts it doesn’t go away wtf am I gonna do ???? I feel okay here and there but it’s ALWAYS there first thing when I wake up these dangerous harm killer thoughts

Okay, so I have a problem. I think my cousin is a sociopath, and it worries me cause she says that she wouldn't care if anyone died, and I understand that because it's not her fault she cant care. But shes admitted to manipulating people to get what she wants-- like using their emotion, usually pity. And she told me to remember shes not a good person, and that's for my own safety. So now I'm worried. I asked if I should set boundaries for myself, and she said if i want, but i dont know what those boundaries should be? She usually just vents to me about her problems and i don't want her to stop doing that but i also dont want to get manipulated. My paranoia is just going nuts, especially since she'll sometimes talk about death and murder so nonchalantly-- but I dont think that's something she'd do. But what do I do? I cant tell anyone else about it because I told her I'd keep it a secret. At least shes trying to fund a therapist, but in the meantime, I dont want to be a replacement for one.

Hi. My boyfriend of 2 & a half years broke up with me two days ago. It was very uncalled for and I don’t wanna get into it. There were no major problems in our relationship but we did lack a bit of communication skills. I’ve been crying for those two day’s straight, and today in the morning. Then I randomly came across a video on manifestation on tik tok (I didn’t look for it, it was on my “for you” page) & there were others on how to get your ex back and the number one thing it said is to stay positive and continue to think that we’re still together & that he loves me & not to cry because it negative etc etc. Ever since I read that I can’t cry anymore. So now my ocd is kicking in on why I’m not crying anymore & don’t feel incredibly sad, even though I think it’s because I have hope we’ll get back together. Also, my ocd is telling me I wanna be single and experience “new people” meanwhile I know I love him and want him in my future. Past ocd like my fear of flirting & cheating is coming up, and it’s telling me that’s what I wanted all along. I’m just confused and want ocd to leave me alone during this hard time. I’m hoping for the best for him and I. I love him.

OCD photography Hello, Perharps I have OCD and type Perfectionism. I always liked photography and taking many photos. From March, April I was In cycle of urge to take photos and videos and I mean many variants of them. It was my collection of game consoles and games. I taked a lot of photos and too selfies with something changing on desk table where it was. Few times I thought that OK, everything is good I have all. I put it in the closet and I got an idea again doing this. I do not wanted to do this, I wanted pause. I wanted to plan what to do next time, what photo or video of that collection. Month ago I fall in cycle of another. I taked photos of my new camouflage shoes collection. It took me few days, I spend 7 hours doing this and I thought about it and I feel anxiety before this. I felt it on heart. I was taked many variants and tell myself it is enought but next day I was again doing this and again tell myself it is enought. I wanted to do this again but my mother by the time rearranged furniture in living room. And i do not want to have bad memories with that room. I hope it ended because I told my mind that will be okay but I again wanted to do more. I had this last year on summer I was taking photos and videos of my new living room in first floor in house. It was only furniture there and nothing more. I soend a lot of time doing this. Before I too had cycles but it was shorter and I do not know that something is with me. I am asking myself what happened to me

I feel so lonely and helpless. With transitioning from high school to college, I’ve completely lost touch of my old friend group. I haven’t really established a new friend group yet. I don’t go to therapy anymore because my mom dislikes my therapist. My mom refuses to accept any of the diagnosis or what my therapist has to say, so I haven’t seen her in months. I don’t have a boyfriend. I’ve never have. My family doesn’t care. I receive no support with my mental health sometimes not even my physical health. I’m always assumed to be over reacting, so even when I’m in pain they just get mad at me and tell me to get over it. I just don’t have anyone. I don’t know what to do. My OCD is starting to get bad again and recently I hurt my neck. I talked to my mom, dad, and sister about it. The general response was stop crying that doesn’t help, maybe if you weren’t so lazy, just put heat on it. I know crying doesn’t help, but it’s my response to my pain. Leave me alone. I’m in so much physical and emotional pain with no one to support me.

Hi guys, I've got a dilemma at the moment (well, I've got lots of them but this one is currently the most triggering and upsetting), and I would like to ask for your help. I would like to apologise beforehand for any distressing details and for the post being so long. Thank you in advance for any help! Okay, here goes: my brother likes to sleep in my room (he falls asleep and then I take him in his room because I'm too scared to sleep with him in the same bed). Just a few minutes ago he asked me with he can sleep there tonight. Initially I said 'no', but after a lot of begging from him I changed my mind and said 'yes'. Well, here goes my fear. I said 'no' because I'm really, really scared that I'll want to touch him in an inappropriate way while he's asleep. (I'm really sorry! I feel disgusting foe sharing this.) While I was having the thought, I felt like I was having a moment of revelation, and by that I mean that it felt that I actually wanted to do it (to hurt my brother). I can't really describe the feeling, but it was sort of: 'This is it! This is the true me! I wouldn't mind doing it.' (Ew!) My stomach dropped and my body went in a sort of paralysis for a few seconds. It was so weird! But it truly felt like I wanted to harm him. And the worst part, it still feels like I want to. I'm really scared to let my brother sleep in my room. I really don't want him to. I really don't! But I've promised this to him for so long, and been postponing it for days. He got really upset when I said 'no', and it makes me feel really bad because I think he feels ignored. That's why I said 'yes'. I'm in the UK and it's half 9 here. My brother will want to go to bed soon. And I'm so terrified that I can't even express it in words. Something's going in my body and I can't really understand what. It's fear mixed with terror and uncertainty. But the worst thing of all is the doubt - the doubt over whether I want to act on my thoughts and harm my brother or all this being just another game of my OCD. I know I should try and use the SOS tool but I'm to anxious for that. I'm sorry. I don't know what to do from here. I really don't.

Tw: pocd, romantic fantasies (23, F) OK... So a few years ago I created a character. I used to enjoy to create original characters and just have fun and this was one of my favorites. (I was 20 when I created her) I don't remember the age I gave her, to be honest. I think it was 15-16. Im not sure... Unfortunately. I think she was 15 in her away to 16. She was a light spirit but very mature for her age, personality wise. Not long after I started imagining that she had a crush on another character that was based on me and vice versa. But this self-based character was in love on her older brother (who was 19). Moving on... Later on, I started having romantic fantasies with this character. Nothing sexual. Just flirting and one kiss. And despite at the time being 21,22, I imagined to be again in high school (17) and her ofc (15-16). I feel terrible... At the time I didn't notice how bad this could be. 15!! Seh was 15! I just... Ugh- I didn't have a crush on her because of her age but because I liked her personality.... Idk. It wasn't a huge crush. It was nothing sexual because I never imagined myself having anything with anyone under 18 (unless it was an intrusive thought which has happened).. I feel ashamed and embarrassed and I feel like the worse disgusting piece of shit out there... I don't know what to do. I'm so gross...

how do i live with the uncertainty? i don’t even want to believe i did such horrible things. i was young, but thats not even an excuse. i feel horrible. i still have no attraction to absolutely anybody my age. not even any romantic or sexual feelings. which i’m sure is because of depression.. but my ocd makes me think it’s because i’m into one of my fears. hell, i literally did it! i enjoyed it too! that sure as hell means i like it! there’s no backing out. it’s over

Friendly chat for dealing with HOCD! ☺️

im so desensitized that i'm doubting this ocd

Get ye propranolol! It's boss for OCD. Common and safe anti-anxiety, I have no doubt your primary care physicians would be happy to give you a prescription. Confidence: https://www.newscientist.com/article/2133500-drug-that-boosts-confidence-in-your-own-actions-may-help-ocd/ - I remember locking the door, and I feel confident about the memory - I attended an interview, and I feel confident in my own positive assessment of how well I did. I don't feel that I need to analyse whether I'm correct or not - I know I made a mistake on the test, and I feel confident about both that I did put the answer I believe I put, and that the answer I put was incorrect Information gathering: https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6083454/ - I have a sore throat so I googled and concluded in 5 minutes that my symptoms are the same as strep. I feel pretty confident about this and don't feel that I need to do any more googling 'in case' it's something else/scary - my therapist told me that it's common after experiencing abuse to feel guilty/responsible/like you're unfairly making it into something it's not. I know that she is a professional and I have confidence in her statements. I don't feel a need to Google it - I know that it's unlikely that I did anything inappropriate at the bar last night, so I don't really feel like I need to memory-check about the entire evening or test how people feel about me to try to get clues - I recognise that I have the compulsive symptoms which characterise HOCD or POCD. I find it easier to accept this diagnosis, and feel less inclined to do more research to find out whether there is some way I might be an exception to the rule, or to ask other people what they think, or to seek reassurance that other people share my symptoms - I know it's very unlikely that whoever stole my phone can get past the encryption, I don't really feel the need to research whether there's some way that they could And the grand finale... fear extinction: https://www.mdedge.com/psychiatry/article/191908/anxiety-disorders/single-dose-propranolol-tied-selective-erasure-anxiety People with a phobia/OCD (or a memory which causes a strong emotional reaction, as with PTSD and real event OCD), expose themselves to a huge trigger- reactivating the bad memory, or scripting, or any other exposure. The exposure should be brief (a couple of minutes). They then take 40mg propranolol (oral), and go home. They *sleep*. The next day, the same triggers (the stuff in the script, or the memory, or the exposure) no longer cause any strong emotional response. The effect lasts at least 1 year. This is done with fear in the study, but works with anything else: guilt, anger, distress, etc. Your actual memory is left exactly the same as it was before, the only thing to change is your strong emotional responses to it, replaced with calm. The more more jolting the experience of NOT having your normal expected reaction to the memory is when it is first re-triggered to see if the process worked, the more permanent the effect is. Doing this to work up through the entire hierarchy could allow your brain to actually learn, in terms of FEELING not just knowing, that it's all ok. Serious implications for real event OCD and rumination in pure O, likely for everything else too. We don't always realise it, but it's always the EMOTIONS associated with our thoughts which disturb us and cause us to feel the need to resist and assert against them. If the intrusive thoughts, or the memory of your current worry theme, were to appear sometimes but never cause any actual unpleasant or upsetting emotions for you, it would become vastly easier to decide to not do compulsions in each moment, and it nukes the obsession. Even if you're quite neurotic and you wonder whether you should analyse to see if your lack of response means you're some kind of a psychopath or have damaged your brain or that you now have nothing to stop you from acting on the thoughts, that reactionary OCD theme can *also* be treated with the propranolol protocol. Once those things no longer freak you out either, that's it- no more feedback loops. You're free to just live by your values of e.g. not stabbing anyone- values which you retained 100% through the treatment. You're left with all of those thing that you usually use against your OCD when you're triggered, you feel more confident about them, and nothing which pops up to oppose them actually feels convincing. It may even feel safe to stop scanning for new themes. However- I DO NOT recommend anyone attempt this one without medical supervision, as the dose is a little higher and it's not fully proven for OCD/hierarchy systems, only for phobias.

Anyone else knows this feeling when you are getting better and start to do things in life again and get a glimpse of normality back and then OCD hits you with "you don't deserve this" "you forgot that you did a bad thing" "you can't go on without having it figured out"...? I don't want you guys to tell me what I should do, I know I should accept those thoughts and continue. Is it reassurance seeking if I would like to have some support on this? ?

When I was a kid I would get physically and emotionally abuse by my sister after school. I'm 20 years just told my mom accidentally and I can tell she doesn't believe me. I'm now realized how much it really affected me. That same little girl who was scared back then is the same voice as my OCD... Its like my brain forgot a lot of the memories that happened during the abuse. But I can tell you the address to the apartment each room were it was . the apartment was like a maze. I can tell you where the kitchen was and how it looked. I remember the kitchen because the front door was there I ran to it a lot but didn't seem to make it. But somehow I keep thinking and feeIing I was just too sensitive and it really wasn't that bad. I'm being over dramatic and I feel guilty and God doesn't want me to talk about it and he's mad at me for mentioning it. I just don't understand. I feel so broken and conflicted...

Please someone recommend something to read or watch to help me tackle my intrusive thoughts..

It’s been over a month since I’ve stopped listening to secular music. For a month I have only been listening to Christian music and I love it:) I don’t have to worry about if the song I’m listening to is alright or not. Sometimes it’s kind of annoying because I could be pissed and plug in my headphones to block out my family and I’m hit with “glory hallelujah ~~” ?lol I encourage you all to try something new. It could be listening to a new music genre or just a new diet. :)

Let me start by saying I am not looking for reassurance or anything but just a general question about my intrusive thoughts. So apparently my mind is scared shitless of suicide and it’s triggered that I am suicidal - that is the root of my intrusive thought (fear of being suicidal) so I get random thoughts during the day that say “just kill yourself” or when I look into the future I get “you will be dead anyway because your suicidal” sort of thoughts that cause a crap ton of distress. I have no problem handling things though like sharp knives.. or anything dangerous etc so erp is a little hard for mean when I see harm ocd it’s always about harming someone else.. is this the same classification? I know they’re intrusive thoughts cause they give me so much much anxiety but since I have no issues with dangerous items is this the same? And any strategies to handle this? I don’t know how I can have the same damn thoughts allllll day everyday and not get sick of them yet when they cause so much anxiety lol

Hey, I would like to apologise before I begin as it's my second post for today and I'm afraid I'm being too much to handle in such a short time. Anyway, I've had this question/doubt at the back of my mind for a very long time, but because there were other things to worry about I just didn't pay (enough) attention to it and tried to let it be. However, because today it felt like I thought about my thoughts on purpose and wanted to think about them, the doubt became stronger. The doubt is whether I'm truly struggling with a mental illness or I'm just a weirdo. I've seen before that other people struggle with this too, but I've noticed certain features in my case that could prove the fact that I'm just a really terrible human being, who has been creating stuff in her head from the beginning. Here are some of the main ones: 1. First and the most important: the fact that I can allow myself to think of the thoughts on purpose. They are what I fear the most - why on earth would I want to do such a thing?! It's inexplicable, I don't desire it but it still happens. Weird... 2. I've barely shown symptoms of physical anxiety since all this mess started. I know this may sound weird but the majority of people with OCD that I've met/talked to have had physical/physiological symptoms of anxiety. All I'm experiencing is just a few of them, and they are mild and mainly happening in my brain (e.g. all or nothing thinking, second guessing, wanting reasurrance). This makes me doubts big time! On a side note, I struggle with social anxiety and there I can see a lot of physiological symptoms all the time. To me that shows that I indeed have social anxiety. But with OCD is totally different. 3. It seems that OCD doesn't affect me the way it affects other people. Again, weird but it feels like people struggle much more than I do. I'm not saying that I want to struggle more but something doesn't add up. To conclude, it feels like I'm an outsider and I should have not being diagnosed with OCD as I don't meet numerous criteria. I know that my therapists are great professionals and I'm not trying to offend them by saying that they gave me a wrong diagnosis, but I feel like I belong in a prison rather than being free thinking that my brain works in a different way (than the average brain) and that I feel and think the way I do because of it. Okay. I'll stop now. I'm sorry as this turned out to be a really long post. I'm sorry if I've said something stupid and/or irrelevant but these are my current thoughts and I really wanted to share them with you. Thank you so much for reading this!

So today I’ve actually been really sarcastic w my intrusive thoughts and I’ve noticed that it’s helped my mood and and I no longer feel depressed or guilty like I normally do. But now I’m scared that I shouldn’t be funny ab it and that somehow something bads gonna happen now that Idc and I’ve stopped agonizing. Does anyone know why OCD does this or how I can stop feeling like somehow I’m “ok” w being a bad person just bc I’m not scared of it like I used to be?

Uhhh is it possible to be aroused by someone while having no desire to actually have sex with them or not even like their body? Fuck me because I get physically turned on by guys even though I can't imagine sex with them not being traumatic and only want it when I'm extremely mentally unwell as a form of self harm and punishment...

Would a child still like me (seh really likes me even after all these years) if I had touched her inappropriately??? (this is a false memory) My therapist once asked me if I felt arousal that day and I said that no, I didn't remember There were 2 witnessee there but what if I left them at some point to hurt the child? I never touched anyone inappropriately and I was always very strict about peoples privacy but I'm afraid that I changed suddenly because I had started masturb- I feel like a monster...