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the NOCD Community

its just me that hate myself? im so insecure, i start crying bcs i look at girls and they re so pretty smh

Does anybody have Sexuality OCD? Because I am pretty sure that I am straight but then suddenly about a week ago I stopped going guys attractive and it really scared me. I was convinced I was gay! I tried to like a girl but my brain was telling me that it was wrong. That was when I thought ‘OMG I DONT HAVE A SEXUALITY’ and I got really scared. Then yesterday I thought a girl was really cute but then saw a guy and thought he was gorgeous! And then I was like no I have to be straight!!!!! What do I do? Does anybody have this problem?

help please. Was watching porn and masturbating. Looked up a specific physical attribute that reminded me of my ex, curly hair and watched one. I masturbated to it then all of a sudden thoughts started to attack me like what if this was actually her. Then out of nowhere i thought what if this was her and her brother. Then now its just bothering me to confess to her. We talk sometimes and i really dont want to cause whats the point we r over and thats just fucked up But i feel more bad bc even having that thought and it made me :/ i still continued to masturbate bc i didnt feel satisfied enougj, i mean obviously not to the thought of her and her brother cause thats weird but i was masturbating while that thought was in my head and it feels wrong and makes me feel guilt or icky.

Does anyone else deal with body image issues? I feel like it's an extension of my OCD. I obsess over my body and face. I have a round face and have hated it my entire life. I have a chin and jawline, but they aren't prominent like a lot of celebrities or just girls I see with what I consider to be skinnier and more beautiful face shapes. I hate the way I look in pictures and insist only having them taken on my best side. I think the other side of my face is uneven. I've looked into becal fat removal and cool sculpting for my chin and jawline. I obsess over my stomach and arms. I love the way I look in the mirror when I do my makeup and hair. And then I hate how I look in pictures. It sucks. I feel like no matter how much time I spend on getting ready, I still look hideous. Again, I think this is another form of my OCD taking place but not sure. Is body dysmorphia it's own thing or can it be an obsessional thing? I compare how skinny I was in high school to now (comparing pictures) until I cry. I pull back the fat on my chin and cheeks because I hate it. And I grab the fat on my stomach and arms when showing my mom how overweight I am. She and my friends say I'm the only one who sees it. But who would honestly tell their daughter or friend that they're overweight or ugly? I think they're lying. It causes me such distress that I want to cry every time I see myself in the mirror or in a picture. I have some medical conditions that keep me from working out as much as I'd like to and from doing cardio. So that's one of the disadvantages I have. I also find it impossible to eat super healthy. I love pasta, bread, etc. I don't know how people give that stuff up for stuff that is disgusting. I can kind of find healthy alternatives for breakfast and lunch. But for dinner I am completely stumped. I really shouldn't eat carbs at all. I should actually have protein and fiber. But I literally cry if I end up eating chicken cooked a million different ways for the millionth time. It gets so boring and is so time consuming as well as energy consuming. Sorry for the long rant. But my anxiety is going a mile a minute and I just seriously want to cry. I wish I could just eat nothing but I can't. I'm also not considered overweight or anything. I'm... normal I guess. I'm just not toned. And it's so hard when I see all my healthy friends who have time and energy to cook healthy and work out every single day looking gorgeous while I'm here and can barely get out of bed like a bump on a log. ):

Advice for RECOVERY please? I completely cut out asking for reassurance of any kind and am trying my best to ‘walk the unaltered path’ not changing plans etc. Doing basic ERP twice daily as well. I’m still terrified constantly and always have the loop playing in my head. I have Suicidal OCD and it always feels like I’m barely making it through the day. I feel like I don’t want to do anything but scream and cry and thrash because I’ve lost my lust for life in the past few months. Does anyone have any advice on recovery and how to get better quicker? What else should I be doing? Love to all xx.

I’m pretty new to the App. Anyone else have an OCD that is not “a typical OCD theme” and feels alone with it?

I’ve started reading the Bible. I’m trying to convince myself I’m not going to go to hell. I just can’t stop thinking that because of something I did I deserve to be in hell. It says if you committed a sin unknowingly that will be taken into account, but the same goes if you did it willingly. Thing is I did something horrible because of my OCD obsessions and I KNEW it was horrible and wrong. But I had reached a breaking point, the worst low of my entire life, the darkest spot I have ever been and I pray to God no one here or anywhere ever will reach it. In this I did what I did because even though I was in therapy it didn’t help and I thought “perhaps I am a sociopath” and thought the thing to do would be to carry out with it and then I would know if I was insane and the scary thing is I didn’t think I’ll turn myself in for being a sociopath I thought “I’ll just live my life this way and no one will know. Ill just get good at it and live as a nut job because it’s who I am” but flash forward I found out afterwards that isn’t true because I have been wishing every day since then that I would have just killed myself instead. And thing is idk how much of this is real or a false memory. I know if happened but I hope more than anything I’m exaggerating it due to the years of torment after. Maybe I’m holding onto false hope. Anyway do you guys think God will know that even though I did it, it was my OCD telling me I’m a monster and should just do it? Or do you think this doesn’t matter I’ll probably be sent to hell and for the non religious, do you think it doesn’t matter what God thinks I’m a horrible person?

Do you ever get headaches from your OCD/anxiety? It seems like I get stressed from my OCD thoughts and rumination and it gives me a headache in the back of my head and makes me dizzy and disconnected?

I have the worst contamination ocd and I really need help. I told my mom about it and she told me I was crazy and need to get over it. I told my dad and he understands (he also has ocd) but doesn’t think I need to see a doctor. I literally live my life everyday worrying about being clean and I know it’s totally not normal, so I just want to go back living a normal life. And my parents don’t think I need help. What do I do? :(

Hello, first time posting here. Does anyone else suffer from bad health anxiety? Due to stress mine has gotten pretty bad recently and for a week now I've been REALLY scared of skin cancer to the point I have difficulties sleeping and I worry all the time. Logically, I've had my moles all my life and most of them are very small and round and I don't think the bigger "weirder" looking ones have changed at all (ofc, my brain keeps telling me to check them constantly and looking at them makes me imagine things and causes anxiety). I also keep imagining I'm finding "new" small ones all the time (probably just haven't noticed them before bc they are so tiny, light brown and I haven't been checking myself like this before..). This is just really frustrating for me and is causing distress. If anyone else has experienced similar worry, do you have any tips to calm down or force yourself to stop searching your skin for marks and spots? This new obsession is driving me crazy, and makes me feel really foolish, but the feelings are real and scary!

I’m leaving nOCD I wish everyone luck u all r amazing people please get well soon stay strong and positive I going to heal myself because I’m using this up for reassurance n it’s making my mind play up even worse I hate feeling like a bad monster so wish me luck everyone if it gets to the point I might have to get therapy but trying to get over it b4 I do wish everyone the best of luck ❤️

Does anyone else’s intrusive thoughts at times make them ‘feel’ things? Like if you have an intrusive thought about your boyfriend you then begin to feel you don’t want to be with him. And afterward you feel extreme guilt and shame because you do love him so much. I used to call them “fake feelings”

I am new to this app so I really appreciate any feedback on this post! I suffer from what started as intrusive thoughts which has now escalated immensely over the last few years. I feel like I am not in control of myself, when it comes to being around my pet, other humans and worry about several things and more. Another one is a worry that I will betray my boyfriend who I love. Sometimes I have intrusive thoughts so strong that it almost becomes like a ‘feeling’. And I know I love my boyfriend but it’s almost like I’m so focused all the time that I feel exhausted, so sometimes I’ll get let the thoughts in about my boyfriend and being with him, and then it comes so strong that I almost believe the intrusive thoughts about him. When I’m out of this state of mind - I then feel extreme guilt and worry that I’ve done something to betray him like cheating. I’m so confused by this and so distressed. What I’ve wrote probably doesn’t even make sense, but if it does to someone, could you please shed some light on this x

Pocd telling me the reason I'm anxious is because I KNOW that I want these thoughts or that I like/enjoy them ?

I’m so convinced I’m a pedo please help me I can’t explain anymore I’m dying I lost my dog (best friend) today I really need someone to talk to

TW, sexual abuse I’m not sure if this is reassurance seeking I just every now and then feel raw and confused. I cant tell if it’s false memory on some part but when I was younger we used to have a family friend who would come around and I never realized it till I got older but he had a rather inappropriate connection with me in the things he said and then I came out to my family about when I realized he had molested me, rubbing my back under my shirt and then touching my breasts. I remember this pretty clearly I feel but every now and then I feel guilt? I can’t tell if it’s my ocd, I’m sure it is but it tells me I’m lying, that, that doesn’t qualify as molestation and that I falsely accused him when even if I asked him as a child I can’t quite remember... that’s still wrong and something an adult shouldn’t be doing as well as the other ways he interacted with me. It just confuses me, I start to get anxious and can’t figure out if I falsely accused him despite the memory of it being vivid and that not being an appropriate thing. It feels horrible every time it comes into my mind and I feel uncomfortable.

Last 24 hours have been pure hell. Lots of intrusive thoughts. Lots of images and sensations of me committing terrible things. I know they are not me. I don’t even fear that I will or even want to do it. I need my brain to leave me alone. I struggle to enjoy sex at the moment. I feel like an abuser. I’m anything but! It’s the total opposite of who I am! WTF is wrong with me?? Why won’t my brain get the god damn memo??? I’m going to send my cousin, my abuser to jail and I’m going to ruin his life like he has ruined mine. I’ve had enough of this. Everyone is going to know what a perverse little paedophile he is. I’m in the process of reporting him. And screw the family - they can hate me all they like. He’s not getting away with it. I hate my extended family except two people. They can all go to hell!!!!

Is there different types of panic attacks or no. Also what’s an anxiety attack is there a difference? Idk what I’m experiencing

Anyone have ROCD - centered around your significant others friends / family members? Fear of wanting someone else. :(

If you had a college counselor tell you that you have OCD and even said he would play my story on an OCD commercial if he could, would you say I have been diagnosed? He technically can’t diagnose because he works for a college (even though he has a PHD in counseling). I’ve also been prescribed zoloft from my doctor for ocd but she didn’t technically diagnose me either. I always feel slightly ashamed for talking about ocd on social media because I haven’t TECHNICALLY been diagnosed. Can anyone relate to this or can give their opinion on if they think it matters that I haven’t been officially diagnosed? Then again, I’m not even sure what that process looks like.