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How does recovery feel like guys i want details plz

I have Real Event OCD. I analyze every moment of my relationship and I feel so bad about how I used to talk to my girlfriend when we first started talking. I was 19 at the time, now I’m 26 and throughout our relationship I’ve grown so much since then. I feel like she raised me in a way because she taught me all the values I hold dear to myself now. I’m scared that I may have flirted with someone or even cheated on her even though I don’t remember that ever happening. I don’t trust who I used to be and since we rushed into our relationship (we started dating 2 months after meeting) I’m scared that I was still talking to other girls when we first started. I feel so guilty and ashamed that this could even be a possibility. I fear that I don’t love her anymore because all I do is be anxious and I can’t seem to enjoy the moment. I don’t know if this is OCD or if I actually did something and my subconscious is making me guilty :( I feel like I’m stuck

hi guys! this is my first post, and while i’m pretty sure i’ve tried close to everything to help “cure” my ocd, this is kind of my last resort. i have severe dermatillomania, and while my ocd does present itself in other forms, in other aspects of my life, it’s more of a 80/20 ratio. in relation to my dermatillomania, for me it’s 80% skin, 15% nails, and 5% my overall body in general. i spend hours in front of the mirror creating welts in my skin because as my doctor says, “it’s how i deal with my anxiety”. i’m not really 100% sure how that makes sense, but i’ve really been beating myself up about it. i feel like this next part is something a lot of people can relate to. i don’t really hate my condition(s), i hate what they do to me. it’s weird. i hate how i’m still a teenager, yet have probably about 4-10 times more the amount of scars than close to any person over 80 you can find, and that’s just on my face. i hate what my condition does to me. in the moment, it feels fine. but after, when i’ve finally pulled myself away, i beat myself up for hours on end. in relation to ocd in other parts of my life, it’s causing my body actual harm. i rely on random, coincidental things in the outside world to pick my decisions relating to my well being for me. for example, i’ll think to myself, “if the light turns green by the time i count to 10 than i can eat one more”. or if something wasn’t cooked for 1 more past the 5 (6 minutes, 11 minutes, 16 minutes, 21 minutes, etc) i won’t eat it. while this branch of ocd isn’t as prominent in my life as the ones mentioned above, it’s still something that i spend way too much of my life on. i obsess and try to reason every single single decision i make, even if it is a completely normal decision or thing like eating white bread instead of sourdough bread, the entire time i’m eating it i’m thinking, “should i have eaten the sourdough? no. it’s okay, white bread has its benefits too. well sourdough’s benefits are far greater than white bread’s benefits. white bread tastes better though. well sourdough’s healthier”. it’s constant over thinking about every single thing and it causes my stress levels to sky rocket. while there wasn’t too much meaning to this post, it feels good telling people who can relate rather than my friends who tell me to, “just stop”. if you have any tips or tricks, or just comments on my problems with ocd in general, they’d be greatly appreciated. i hope all is well with everyone in these stressful times! thanks for reading.

I'm usually searching threads trying to help folks with their vastly different OCD issues. But now I'm having some issues and would like some support. I'm a 42 year old man. I have had OCD since I was a kid. Most of my symptoms are internal intrusive thinking and then repeatedly saying phrases in my head to counter the thoughts. A few years ago I began slowly tapering off of my benzos and started trying to deal with the anxiety myself. It's been a tough road but I have myself down to a very low dose now. The problem I have now is I have a spell about 3 times a year where things get difficult. I start thinking I have dealt with this for long enough. It has affected my marriage, lost me precious time with my kids and now I'm starting to have issues with being anxious around my own family. I stutter when talking and feel like a total idiot. I don't know how to stay calm without the benzos. After so many years im getting so tired of dealing with this. The doctor raised my SsRI recently, probably a month ago. It really hasn't helped much.

Anyone there ?

I feel like part of me has just accepted I’m a pedo and I hate it. I hate that feeling. And I know I hate that feeling but my brain is trying to say I’m lying and that I actually love it I get anxiety just by seeing the words “pedo” or “pedophilia”. It was the same when I first started having HOCD and transgender OCD. Not searching for reassurance, just making an observation. But God is it hard to not search for reassurance. I feel like an addict and my head is screaming “I NEEEEEED IT!!” Just a question, has anyone ever felt like they’re just choosing what they want to say that they know will give them the answers they want? Cause that happens to me all the time

I’m sorry It’s hard I’m feeling pretty... uh... well I don’t really want to be here? Don’t worry though, I won’t do anything... I just don’t see the point in living is every day is gonna be such a struggle, if I have to put so much mental effort into just SURVIVING. I’m depressed. I’m numb. I’m lost. I’m scared. I’ve been this way for so long. It’s not ever gonna go away, is it? No. I know it can get better. But, when? There’s no easy way out and I wish there was. I know everyone struggles but I wish I could just be normal. I feel so lonely. I feel bad. Dirty, wrong, evil. I feel like I’m lying to myself. To everyone. I’m scared. I’m so scared. I can’t sleep. All I can do distract myself with video games, or YouTube. I’m too scared to talk to people. Too scared to leave my house. Too scared to watch a tv show, or a movie. Too scared to draw. To take a walk. I can’t. Do. Anything. I don’t want to die... but I just don’t want to be alive, not like this. I’m only 19. I feel ridiculous saying all of this- like I’m too young to actually know pain. Truthfully I don’t know how you older sufferers (40+!) have done it for so long. OCD didn’t sprout until I was around 14. 5 years only, off and on, and I can’t take it anymore. How in the hell have some of you been doing it since the age of, like, 8?!? Jesus Christ you guys are made out of fucking Teflon! I’m so impressed by all of you. You’re all so strong. I know I’m strong too, but, I’ve caved. I’m having a moment of weakness. I’m not ashamed of that, but I am sad about it. I hope after the big move things get better.

I HATE MYSEKF SO FUCJING MUCH I

Now for people with HOCD I need your help. And I’m scared at the moment. I remember getting erections to everything since I was a child, but the two most terrifying instances of memory were when I had erections to the Incredible Hulk game when I was 8-9. Everytime the hulk took heavy damage, he would start heavily breathing, and I got an erection to that. I also got an erection to the gay scenes from the take me to church music video when I was 13-14, but now when I check the video, I don’t get an erection at all. Does this mean I’m gay or bisexual in denial? IM SCARED.

It’s been 8 weeks since I left a toxic relationship. I’m trying to refrain from going on social media and checking his photos etc . This is hard . We were together for three years and he was so controlling and paranoid. Towards the end he literally made fun of my ocd . My cat passed away and my ocd flared up . Once he saw I was at my lowest, instead of consoling me , he became cruel . Can someone just say to me , he sounds like toxic . I need someone to talk too . I don’t mind telling my story

Idk what’s wrong with me, I say mean things to my bf like I said “maybe we should break up” knowing I wouldn’t yet I watched him cry and I feel the urge to be mean and ik it’s toxic but in the moment I can’t stop it’s like against my will pls help me someone

What has your experiences been with moral or religious ocd? Might be experiencing it. Really afraid I'm going to become bad

I'm tired of this sensantion in my anus. It's the most annoying thing ever. It gets triggered by anything. I'm checking out a girl and I get it! I'm watching anything related to sex and I get it! It feels like is something natural. I'm driving crazy! Anyone else with this?

Hi 👋 So I'm new to this app. I have OCD, it controls my everyday life and it makes me have awful thoughts that I don't want. I've never talked to anyone about my OCD and I think I should see a therapist but I'm not sure how to tell my parents that I want to see a therapist without them judging me or idk😩

Mental exhaustion is making me physically exhausted, but I’m not even safe when I’m asleep anymore. I had a dream last night that I was a Sim, or a character in someone’s video game and I’m pretty sure that’s some kind of sign. I just want this all to stop. Why is this happening to me? On a brighter note, I started therapy. I had my first session this past Tuesday but it didn’t do much for so me since it was just an assessment basically. I only see my therapist every 2 weeks because it’s expensive, I’m afraid it won’t be enough. Every day is a battle, and I’m losing constantly.

I just read something about superiority complexes and ‘thinking you’re smarter than everyone’ and it’s really distressing me because I’m scared I’m like that. I perceive the world in quite an analytical way and I guess I’m quite good at understanding things? I’m open minded. But there have been times where I’ve genuinely thought I might be smarter than my peers and now I’m scared I have a gigantic ego. I tell myself everyone probably feels this way because it’s hard to translate our intelligence to others. But still I’m just very scared.

I have become paranoid that I may have flirted or said something flirty or cheated on my SO and someone saw me or heated about it. I don’t remember ever doing this but what if I was drunk and don’t remember or if I suppressed it. I’m afraid someone out there knows something about myself that I don’t know and is calling me a fraud or a lying piece of shit. I’m afraid to be called out on it. I’m afraid of my SO leaving me because of it. I’m afraid I feel this way because of a guilty subconscious and that I’m using OCD as a way to tell myself I didn’t do anything. I don’t know what is real or not anymore. Fuck. This is ruining my life

How do you overcome your HOCD and POCD when they both target your porn usage as a specific memory? Please help me with this because I’m honestly scared af

Has anyone else read the masterdoc/about comphet and related to some of the points? Please don’t if you are experiencing hocd and haven’t already! But I’m curious to know about others’ experiences bc it was pretty triggering for me.

Hello fellow comrades! I have a question to ask. I have never had therapy for my hocd, and my ocd is getting worse, BUT FEAR NOT. I will be getting thy help soon! Though I will get a therapist, I am still a little skeptical of therapy. Do they just give drugs and leave you be? Is therapy very affective or just ok? So many questions to be answered, but only one is merely more important! How is you day? Have you heard of this Travis Scott burger? I hear it is the drip and it can make you so much money if you steal a Mc Donald poster.